Del Awards 2011

'Song of Solomon' by Toni Morrison is one of my favorite books. One of the lines from that book that has stuck with me over the years is "Share your happiness with me, not your unhappiness." She's describing the attitude of Milkman, the main character of the book. This quote occurred to me last night before the Del Awards at iO.

Each year the iO improv community has an awards show to honor and poke fun at the previous year of improv. Caitlin asked me at the beginning of the week to help with The Katydids opening number. I painted my face like a white tiger and Caitlin came out on my back for the final chorus. One of the awards is 'Drunken Spectacle' which I was nominated for. The nomination read as follows "Steve Nelson for ruining a Bird and Bison show by getting up on stage and saying woosh." This was a very dark moment for me. Possibly one of the things I feel worst about in my entire life. And of course I won. I knew I was going to. That moment was too juicy and horrible not to get attention. Which brings me to the quote.
The audience was packed. They didn't want to hear about my struggles, they didn't want to hear about my problems, or my regret. They wanted to be entertained. Share your happiness with me, not your unhappiness. It's a feeling I imagine a lot of comedians feel from time to time. Give me all you can, make me laugh, but don't count on me. There was also another layer. Facing the music.

There comes a point where you have to take responsibilities for your actions. Chickens coming home to roost, made your bed now lie in it, any number of phrases. The award seemed to me a reprimand. It was mine, I owned it. I felt a lot of tension the whole night until they said my name. I walked to the stage, accepted the award, and froze. I saw Vince in the front row, took a deep breath, and gave my speech.

Me: I'm ashamed to win this award(laughter). I want to take this opportunity to apologize to The Bird and the Bison, their coach, and specifically my best friends on the team Vince, Eli, and Jillian. I also want to thank Craig Uhlir for having my back and getting me out of the trouble I got myself into(pause for laughter). This was not a good thing. (more laughter, exit)

I wondered for a while why people were laughing. I didn't realize till later I still had my face paint on. Craig called it Kaufman-esque.

That chapter on my life is closed. Last night sealed it.

Own your mistakes as well as your triumphs.