You Get What You Get

We are all fallible
imperfect
that is to say
human
the solace
of this fact
is found
in fellowship

'Miss You, Love You' A Review

Miss You, Love You is a drama that follows Diane(Allison Janney) in the wake of her second husband's passing, her semi-estranged son Tyler sends his assistant Jamie(Andrew Rannells) to help her make arrangements.

Janney and Rannells are marvelous actors and they have chemistry but they are smothered by the pages and pages of overwrought and overwritten dialogue. The premise sounds like an elevator pitch for a comedy but this attempts to not only be dramatic but deep. The problem being Diane's seemingly only way to deal with grief is cruelty, regardless of how 'true' this may be to life it makes for a punishing watch particular given the movie is staged like a play. The off-screen Tyler looms large both in his estrangement with his mom(who's history, when reveled is laughably pedestrian) as well as Rannells romantic feelings towards him. But he's off screen! So much of this movie is taken up with a character who isn't there and doesn't appear! And the behaviors that both but particular Diane engage in are immature and petulant, as good as Janney is she can't make the shallow character compelling.

As much as I loved The Way Way Back writer/director Jim Rash puts up a stunning miss here. An investigation of grief without insight, a living room drama populated by cliches and cruelty rather than humanity.

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

Don't See It.

'Masters Of The Universe' A Review

Masters Of The Universe is a science fantasy based on the Mattel toy line and subsequent cartoon. In Eternos, the capital city of the planet Eternia, young prince Adam struggles to meet his father's expectations when the city is attacked by Skeletor(Jared Leto) and Adam is forced to flee to Earth. He returns 15 years later to reclaim his throne and free Eternia's people.

Nicholas Galitzine as Adam aka He-Man struggles to put forth much of a coherent character, he's asked to do an impossible task oscillating wildly from (relatively weak) comedy to shining hero. He does his best to make some sense of what's on the page and synthesis it into something coherent but no matter who was cast it's not something that could have worked. Leto's vocal performance(and maybe his physical performance, it's unclear) are fun and effective, there seems to be understanding of what movie he's in. The supporting cast otherwise is filled with talent- Idris Elba, Morena Baccarin, Camila Mendes(in bizarre blue contacts), Sasheer Zamata, James Purefoy, Alison Brie, and on and on. But from the script to the direction the tone, the vibe, just doesn't come together. Is this for kids? For adults? Is it a comedy? Is it an action/adventure? There's so much packed in, so many ideas and references, its more a shotgun blast of a flick rather than a cogent story.

Visually it looks pretty good, they didn't skimp on the CG, but some of the action sequences and shots are straight-up lifted from relatively recent Marvel and DC movies(there's a lightening-trailing leap right out of Thor: Ragnarök, there's a classic Zack Snyder slow-mo punchathon finale etc.). The score is this whimsical retro hair mental explosion. The costuming is near exact to the action figures. Clearly made with a ton of fan passion taken as a whole you struggle to understand who this is supposed to be for and why a studio would cough up $200M for it. In how much energy and time and interest went into this compared to how large of a miscalculation it is it's reminiscent of Warcraft.

Middle-aged men's passion for a toy(or cartoon) in search of an appropriate vessel.

Currently in theaters.

Stream It.

Daily Living

In its momentum
its roiling
is the living itself
the relentless
biological working
the inevitable mundanity
life
in all its exquisite
simplicity
in all its punishing
propulsion
this litany of moments
each akin to the other
beloved

in their vibrance

'Obsession' A Review

Obsession is a cringe horror set in an ambiguous time about a group of ambiguously aged friends. Perpetually hang-dog borderline-pathetic incel-presenting Bear(Michael Johnston) consults his frat bro cliche friend Ian(Cooper Tomlinson) about confessing his feelings to Nikki(Inde Navarrette) their friend who is very transparently only interested in Bear as a friend even though Sarah(Megan Lawless) the 4th in the friend foursome very much is. Bear balks when he gets his opportunity to be honest with Nikki, makes a wish with a knick-knack he bought that Nikki love him and then she does but it's weird!

Navarrette is the clear star and standout putting in a captivating layered performance both physical and emotional. The whole movie hangs on what she's able to do and all the menace as well as all the pathos comes from her. Both Johnston and Tomlinson are miscast, neither demonstrate much in the way of range presenting the same emotion and facial expression in virtually every scene. It's especially startling in contrast to Navarrette and to a lesser extent Lawless(who just has less screentime), who come across as real actors conveying characters that resemble actual humans. 

Visually the film is rich, stylized and effective, the score equally so. The production design, shot mostly on location LA, is evocative. The main issue is mostly with the script, the ground covered feels very derivative, monkey paw 101, and the story isn't taken in any new or unique directions, it's basically just that classic premise played out over almost two hours, it feels more like a short than a feature. Without Navarrette's performance the whole thing would really stall.

It's impossible not to compare this with the other Gen Z youtube creator directed box office scorcher right now Backrooms. Both stumble in terms of narrative but Backrooms has the captivating location to really hold interest. Obsession has Navarette but she can only do so much and ultimately the themes are immature and simple, the characters thinly drawn, and the overall impact is more pedestrian.  But both have really got the Gen Zers to the theaters and regardless that is a huge success. Part of the box office issue was not only the pandemic disruption but that disruption coming at a pivotal time for the 18-34 demo, historically hugely important to the box office, but slowly but surely they are coming back and it's important they have movies that speak to them from creators that are their contemporaries.

A Christmas Carol for an incel.

Stream It.

First Summer Eve

The heat
in its closeness
illicit the same
from all the people
reveling
in its pleasures
families lined up
for their inaugural
ice creams

murmurs

populate the evening

contentment

the backing track

innocuous chit-chat

replacing the thrum

of the dormant cicada

adherents

to their own rhythms

'Backrooms' A Review

Backrooms is a horror/thriller about Clark(Chiwetel Ejiofor) who finds a portal to a seemingly infinite labyrinthine space in the basement of his furniture store.

After his just win for 12 Years A Slave Ejiofor has worked steadily but hasn't really been given his due as one of the best actors of his generation and that's showcased here. This is an odd film with little plot, more a vibe than a narrative, and he's the perfect actor to anchor it all with some humanity. He's emotive, reactive, and above all compellingly present. It's also just a nice bit of casting for the audiobook listeners as he is the(incredible) narrator for the exceptional liminal space novel Piranesi. The film somewhat faulters when the perspective changes from Clark to his therapist Mary(Renate Reinsve). Reinsve has talent, no question, but she's yet to demonstrate much range. The kind of fraught reserve she deploys here is the same we saw in Sentimental Value and Worst Person In The World. Her presence doesn't detract, it's effective enough, but she's unable to provide the same kind of focus Ejiofor does, channeling the genre elements through the human lens, and that the film needs to elevate it beyond an inspired conceit.

The production design is immaculate and inspired. The backrooms space, the seemingly endless corridors and furniture and rooms are an incredible place to explore, mostly(if not all) practical sets. It's marvelously transportive. On top of that the 90's esthetic and subtle but unceasing score really create this compelling mood with startling clarity. The production, in short, is a triumph.

The film somewhat stumbles when it comes to narrative but honestly this kind of film doesn't really even need much of it. There's a tension between simply enjoying and reveling in Ejiofor's Clark explore this creepy fascinating space and the need to tell some kind of cogent story. Clark's divorce, Mary's agoraphobic mother, how the backrooms ultimately work are explored but what's most interesting is the space itself and a compelling human(Ejiofor) navigating said space.

Ultimately the film soars over any plot concerns with its originality, sharp complex ascetics, and a superb Ejiofor.

Currently in theaters.

Don't Miss It.

Sox Park

Memory is unreliable
its the stories
we tell ourselves

but that doesn't negate

its value or meaning

its ability

to shape us

My first ball game

(from what I remember)

was at the old Comiskey

demolished in 1991

My first ball game

(from what I remember)

was Bo Jackson's last game

which was in 1993

I remember him hitting a home run

at his last at bat

and the crowd roaring

the fireworks exploding

Whenever it was

whether I've conflated

or embellished or even

created whole cloth

that doesn't change

my connection

to the city of Chicago

to the Chicago White Sox

to Sox Park

'The Mandalorian And Grogu' A Review

The Mandalorian And Grogu is a scifi adventure, a continuation of The Mandalorian show, and the latest installment in the Star Wars ouvre.

There's not much in the script for the cast to do. Pedro Pascal as the titular Mandalorian has a couple nice moments with the puppet Grogu but those are few and far between and after burning through guest stars in the show the only other big names involved are Sigourney Weaver who's barely in it and Jeremy Allen White who provides, maybe, one of the worst and uninspired vocal performances in Star Wars cannon, some but not all his fault as the character Rabba The Hut on the page is repetitive and corny and the rendering is laughable. 

The production is an odd mish-mash of styles and tones but more importantly quality. It looks like the movie was made on a budget and about half of the CG is 00's era bad. The only saving grace is the score, a staple of the show, and here composer Ludwig Göransson gets to really stretch in a way the show didn't have the space for. That at least is top notch.

Otherwise, the main and glaring issue is the script, after seasonal diminishing returns with the show turning this into a feature is somewhat baffling. On top of that it is so fraught with lore both from the show that inspired it as well as greater Star Wars cannon it would be virtually impenetrable for anyone not familiar. Tonally it's unclear if this is aimed at adults for nostalgia's sake or grade schoolers and that tension ultimately tears the movie down the middle. Part of the issue is the pacing, there's tons of action but without any character development or dimension it rings incredibly hollow, the concern is so much on keeping momentum and attention any actual depth is lost.

The last gasp of a great idea. 

Currently in theaters.

Don't See It.

'I Love Boosters' A Review

I Love Boosters is a surrealist comedy about a group of high-end retail shoplifters(aka Boosters) that resale their stolen goods at a discount to make ends meet, led by aspiring fashion designer Corvette(Keke Palmer). This eventually comes to the attention of owner/designer Christie Smith(Demi Moore) who goes after "those urban bitches". 

Palmer continues to make interesting choices in her career and excel within them. She's wonderful here, emotive and magnetic, and is able to weave together and focus a lot of the disparate elements as the lead(a very complicated plot, social commentary, expressionistic design, and emotion). Naomi Ackie and Taylour Paige are equally compelling and round out the heart of the film with humor and an effortless chemistry that grounds all the chaos swirling around them. Paige inparticular it's great to see, after an astonishing debut lead in Zola she's been in some decent movies since but hasn't really had an opportunity to stretch. Moore is delicious as the heavy, Don Cheadle as a MLM leader, Will Poulter as a snobby manager, LaKeith Stanfield as a literal incubus- the supporting cast are all really evocative, know what movie they're in, and are having a ball.

Visually the film is kaleidoscopic running a clinic in what you can accomplish on a lower budget with inspired production design. The monochromatic sets and outfits, ALL the inspired costume design, the repeating thrumming score. Every element of the design is brimming with ideas and art and all work in conjunction with each other to create a compelling, vibrant piece of cinema.

It may be overly plotted but the sheer energy and momentum of the film(along with its charismatic leads) overcome that easily and what you're left with is this thrilling, moving, electric art piece.

An ecstatic surrealist comedy, timely satire on the plight of class and celebratory of those same workers.

Currently in theaters.

Don't Miss It.

Cousin Geri

Has passed
into the clearing
at the end of the path
and those that remain
must consider
the impact
of the departed

A key tenant

a key belief

of the old Norse

(from which stock our family came)

was the sacredness

the importance and gravity

of hospitality

To feed and house

and make comfortable

those guests

you have the fortune

to welcome

to your hearth and home

This we carried

from the fjord's of Norway

to the lakes of Wisconsin

and which my Grandma Bertha

passed along to my cousin Geri

and which she, in turn, gave to me

As a child

upon each visit

there was pop in the fridge

cookies and chips in the cabinet

a clean soft bed for me to sleep

her welcoming (but eccentric) poodle to play with

visits to the Mall of America

and most of all

her unassuming

yet unshakable

kindness and attention

This shaped me

how I keep my home

how I treat guests

my expectations

about what hospitality is

what it means to care

'Marty, Life Is Short' A Review

 Marty, Life Is Short is a documentary about actor/comedian Martin Short. Through talking head interviews, home videos, archival footage, and Short going about his day-to-day in the present his life and career are explored.

Like many of this particular brand of bio-doc there's not much depth here, more like a greatest-hits, which isn't bad or undeserved! Short is a singular talent with a long and eclectic career and it's fun and funny to revisit his characters and roles or discover some for the first time. But given his life includes quite a bit of untimely death and subsequently grief little time is really paid to that aspect aside from a platitude or two. Little time is given to how he actually created his characters or what is creative process is, one of the best sequences is him describing an SNL character, intercut with the sketch itself, inspired by a hyper-defensive make-up artist. Familial(and personal) substance use is clearly a pertinent topic(to what degree is certainly up for debate) but that is not addressed or really acknowledged.

The film is a sweet, relatively shallow, retrospective. Gives Short some much-deserved flowers, entertaining but thin.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Stream It.

Summiting

No human

has ever conquered
Mother Nature
nor any aspect
of her eclectic bounty
no mountain, forest,
desert, river,
meadow, or brook
has ever been dominated
or owned
destroyed perhaps
but only temporarily

She will out last us all

millennia from now

when humanity is dust

She will remain

So

at the summit

hearing the yapping

of all these would-be

soft-serve weekend alpinists

I can only grimace

at the hubris

The State of Masculinity

It's unfortunate
men may only feel
they can be honest
around a fire
or in a garage

'Crime 101' A Review

Crime 101 is an action/thriller about elusive methodical jewel thief Mike(Chris Hemsworth), his in-the-dark love interest Maya(Monica Barbaro), the cop on his trail with marital problems Lou(Mark Ruffalo), and frustrated high-end insurance broker Sharon(Halle Berry) and how their stories intersect over one final heist.

Hemsworth is a out of his element, whenever he's asked to play more muted/stoic/reserved characters he seems to struggle, a la Extraction & Extraction 2, he needs characters with humor or some perspective. He's unquestionably a compelling star but this is one archtype he's yet to crack. Ruffalo and Berry are able to bring much more depth and authenticity to their characters even if on-the-page they're pretty thin. You can just tell they have a backstory they've come into their scenes with, their history and context, as a result they feel like actual humans you want to watch. Barbaro and the heavy, that lil gremlin Barry Keoghan, are both miscast. They have yet to demonstrate they have any real range and do nothing but detract here. Barbaro's character is a plot point only and she fails to make it more than that. Keoghan has yet to demonstrate he can do anything successfully beyond his debut Killing of a Sacred Deer and continues to fail into a stunningly robust career with role after role where he deploys the same limited arsenal of ticks and calls it acting.

Shot mostly on location in LA the city looks great and feels like a real place people exists(a big plus these days!). The car chases are thrilling, the heists are tension filled and fun, there's just not enough of either in a runtime that is overlong. There's been some decent Heat knockoffs over the years- The Town, Den of Thieves, even Wrath of Man to a degree- but this isn't even able to reach those mid-tier heights. There's too much character stuff and most of that stuff lacks depth, there's not enough action/thrills and what there is doesn't hold as much as weight as it should because there's little investment in the characters, and just overall the plot is unnecessarily complicated.

Aspirations to Heat with an A-list cast(on paper at least) produce a straight-to-DVD quality caper.

Currently streaming on Amazon.

Stream It.

'The Sheep Detectives' A Review

The Sheep Detectives is a mystery/comedy based on the 2005 novel Three Bags Full about an isolated shepherd, George(Hugh Jackman), in the English countryside who dies untimely. His sheep, who are well versed in the who-dun-it having been read numerous murder mysteries by George set out to solve the case.

Jackman isn't in the film except for the prologue but his presence gives some star-power and emotional weight to lay down a great foundation to launch from. The voice cast- Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston, Chris O'Dowd, Regina Hall, to name a few- are all spectacular bringing comedy, playfulness, and a sincerity that is really the secret sauce of the film, putting it on par with the likes of Babe and Paddington. All-in-all just a stellar cast.

Filmed mostly on location in the English countryside with extensive but pretty seamless CGI for the animals. The score is unobtrusive but potent and the script just really soars, producing laughs, a breezy but still engaging mystery, and a ton of heart.

The best live-action family film since Paddington 2.

Currently in theaters.

Don't Miss It.

Ur-Lake

The lake always forgives
the water's stillness
a soothing balm

on ache and worry

its natural sounds

birds and bugs and frogs

and periodic quiet

a purifier

of the constant plague

of news

and noise.

'#SKYKING' A Review

#SKYKING is a documentary about the 2018 Horizon Air Bombardier Q400 incident where ground service agent Richard "Beebo" Russell stole a commercial propliner. Through FAA audio of the incident, talking-head interviews, social media and security footage, and reenactments Beebo's life and his ultimate suicide are explored.

Framed and edited almost like a thriller the movie certainly scratches the True Crime itch and some of the broader themes that motivated and shaped Beebo are investigated- class, race, religion, politics, masculinity- but ultimately drawing any kind of conclusion or pointed commentary is beyond director Patricia Gillespie ability or desire, you can almost see her walking the tightrope of analysis and commercialism and the movie concludes with a kind of dewy sentimentalism. It is startling how minimized just how dangerous this act becomes as the runtime progresses.

Suicide, economics, education, societal expectation these are all deep and complicated themes and the movie and the interview subjects provide periodic insight about Beebo and his broader story. There is justly sorrow here from his family and friends but the perspective they are able to provide(or at least what is shown) is limited and a lot of them(his mom in particular) are still very much in their grief in a way that makes the movie flirt with exploitation.

An investigation of a personal tragedy made public, emblematic of greater social problems(capitalism much?) that in the end fails to clearly state a thesis.

Currently streaming on Hulu.

Rent It.

'Paralyzed By Hope: The Maria Bamford Story' A Review

Paralyzed By Hope: The Maria Bamford Story is a documentary about the life and career of comedian Maria Bamford told through talking-head interviews, archival footage, and snippets of Maria's current life.

She's an incredibly compelling artist who's been very open over the years with her various mental health struggles. It's nice to see, almost a comprehensive retrospective, of her stand-up career as well as inspiring to go through her life's trajectory- family issues, mental health, reconciliation- and all. It doesn't really offer anything beyond what her memoir does(in fact Sure, I'll Join Your Cult is probably more effective and moving coming directly from Bamford) but it is satisfying, well done, insightful, and often really funny.

A pleasing greatest-hits for the Bamford superfan, a great opportunity for more insight for the casual fan, and a good starting point for those who know her face but not her name.

A courageous look at the intersection of life, struggle, and art. Also funny.

Currently still on the festival circuit. Co-director Judd Apatow has sold his last couple documentary projects to HBO so presume it will end up streaming there at some point this year.

See It.

'Devil Wears Prada 2' A Review

Devil Wears Prada 2 is a comedy, a sequel to the 2006 original picking up 20 years after the events of the first film. Andy(Anne Hathaway) is now a successful investigative journalist but she's laid off propelling her once again to work for Miranda(Meryl Streep) as the features editor for Runway in an effort to rebound the brand after a sweatshop scandal. She reunites with fashion editor Nigel(Stanley Tucci) and former frenemy Emily(Emily Blunt) now working for Dior as well as some new faces.

Streep slips back into Miranda like a glove and it's delicious to see her return here with the same prickliness and professionalism but also a kind of put-upon bafflement about developments in the culture. Hathaway too seems effortless in getting back into the character after 20 years, she's funny, she's relatable, she's a bit more competent than she was in the original and her chemistry with Streep(and Blunt and Tucci) is wonderful. It's great to see Blunt and Tucci back in their roles. Overall it's just really nice and fun and compelling to see the core four return to their roles(even if the plotting has a couple problems) this is perhaps the most successful legacy sequel to-date in recalling the original and providing and equally(if somewhat too similar) experience. Tracie Thoms doesn't have a tone of screen time but it's great to see her back too. The new supporting cast are mostly all wonderful- Caleb Hearon, Helen J. Shen, Rachel Bloom, and Simone Ashley are all wonderful, it's incredible to see Lucy Liu although she was clearly only on set for a day or two. The downsides are B. J. Novak who is miscast and just doesn't make much of an impression and Patrick Brammall as Andy's love interest who isn't particularly interesting and whose inclusion seems more obligator than anything else. Justin Theroux as a Jeff Bezos stand-in is pretty funny and biting but not altogether successful.

Filmed, seemingly, mostly on location in the NYC area as well as in Milan the production design is pitch perfect and evocative, it feels like real places that real humans exist in. And the costume and set design are beautiful bordering on transcendent, if nothing else it's worth a watch just for the outfits.

The plotting is a bit hit or miss and needlessly retreads the outline of the original. It doesn't really track that Andy as a 40 year old and 20 year veteran journalist would transform into the bumbling aw-shucks kid she was in the original(but that's kinda part of her arc). Some of the conflict in the last third is needlessly complicated and feels somewhat contrived. Blunt has a heel turn that feels pretty silly. None of it is particularly egregious but the result all taken together is that the movie's momentum suffers, this is a near perfect 100 minute movie that is 120 minutes. Nonetheless entertaining.

A standout legacy sequel with a great cast energized to return and, no surprise, inspired costuming.

Currently in theaters.

See It.

A Pledge

May I never be certain
may I always question
and imagine

may age nor experience

calcify me

to wonder

and discovery

may I always be fluid

and changeable

pliant

to life's challenges

'Apex' A Review

Apex is an action/thriller about adrenaline junkie Sasha(Charlize Theron), the movie opens with a prologue where her and her husband Tommy(Eric Bana) are climbing the Troll Wall in Norway and he tragically dies. Five months later she is taking a solo trip in Wandarra National Park in Australia. She's warned by the ranger there have been multiple disappearances in the area and she meets a couple locals who are slaveringly psychotic but she's gotta kayak! One of the seemingly nice locals Ben(Taron Egerton) gives her a tip about the best(and secret) place to enter the park. But of course Ben is not a good boy, he is in fact a disturbed cannibal with mommy issues, and what quickly gets going is part Most Dangerous Game part Deliverance.

Theron is one of our greatest living movie stars, she's got a facility for emotion and a dynamic physical presence. But here she doesn't have much room to operate, she never really gets to open up and kick ass, the action is mostly calisthenic(she runs, climbs, kayaks, swims) which she's great at and it looks great but overall the character is overly thin and there's not enough compelling action to keep interest. Egerton goes delightfully big, a little dance sequence that starts off the chase is really fun and weird. So there's some energy to the performance but over time it just kind of peters out. In both cases the talent of the actors outstrips the script relatively quickly.

Visually the movie is incredibly uneven, some great on location shots, some decent studio shots, and some stunningly bad and obvious CG. It's part-and-parcel with the script- tonally confused. It can't quite decide if it wants to be pure action, can't quite decide how much it wants to delve into the emotional context of either Sasha or Ben, the fact they just don't kill one another at multiple points doesn't really track, and just overall it has the kind of patina of Netflix algorithmic compromise about it.

Theron and Egerton put forth incredible effort to make this barely compelling.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Stream It.

What do you say to the grieving?

Any condolences
however well meaning

are insufficient

fall like platitudes

ineffective

however true

listening and companionship

offer solace

it is in the sharing

and speaking of grief

that allows catharsis

and eventually

perhaps

healing

Old-growth

I walk the forest
by deference of the trees
the pine needle covered trail
a benign welcome

Through its honest efficacy

do I learn simplicity

in its ordinary pleasures

(a flower, a butterfly, a plodding box turtle)

do I learn gratitude.

Trevor

The turtle
perhaps more than any creature
understands patience
deliberation
not through virtue
or choice
but because it is inherent
to its exsistence
it couldn't be impulsive
or brash
if it tried.

Perhaps we'd be better off
under the same constraints.

The Green Place

The forest
welcomes the storm

and its destruction

the cracking wind

the lightening's fire

the detritus left

is but fertile fodder

for renewal

Spring Break

Spending a couple days on Hohman Lake in southern Illinois, outside Metropolis. Some much needed nature and recharge time. 

Understanding Icarus

Have we always
looked up at birds in wonder
jealous of their freedom?

The heron glides at dusk
and my heart
is mirrored in the water.

'Exit 8' A Review

Exit 8 is a horror movie based on the 2023 video game of the same name. While on the subway The Lost Man(Kazunari Ninomiya) has an awkward phone call with his ex who has recently discovered she is pregnant. As he exits the station he becomes trapped in an abandoned section of hallway that loops, on the wall is posted instructions, he is told to turn back if he notices any anomalies and to continue on if he does not.

The performance from Ninomiya and from the limited cast are effective if not super complex, this is a concept movie and although the acting is decent it is not a focus. The corridor, its rules, and how the characters trapped within it navigate them is. The production design is simple and borderline immaculate, making you feel like you are also trapped, making the constraints contagious and the mundanity of the subway maddening. The elegant narrow premise allows for some real thrills and some rich themes, hanging over the entire movie is this question of parenthood but the ultimate message is left up to interpretation. 

A tight, unique, compelling piece of genre cinema.

Currently in theaters.

See It. 

EB

Whimsy

can be hard to come by

in this

our age of decaying

modernity

but my wife

dressed up as the Easter Bunny

passing out candy

and dancing

proves 

play and freedom

are still within reach

inevitable societal collapse

be damned.

'They Will Kill You' A Review

They Will Kill You is an action/horror movie about Asia(Zazie Beetz) an ex-convict who infiltrates an exclusive high-rise as a maid in order to find her estranged sister who has fallen into the hands of a satanic cult.

Beetz is a dynamic screen presence and is able to switch focus from character to action with alacrity. She elevates a relatively pedestrian narrative and absolutely soars during the extended practical action sequences. The limited supporting cast has a lot of great talent just having fun- Patricia Arquette, Heather Graham(good to see you girl!), Tom Felton, Myha'la,- it's not a particularly complicated and even original plot but the limited location and the propulsive near-constant action keeps the momentum going and the charisma of the cast carries the day.

On a limited budget the (mostly) singular location and (mostly) practical effects make the action feel tactile, feel real, and Beetz is clearly doing a fair amount of her own stunts and choreography. It's reminiscent of the kind of fun, effective, nuts-and-bolts action flicks that don't get made as often anymore. The climactic showdown is a bit wonky and is the only scene with substantial CG but still all in it's a solid down-the-center piece of almost pure action storytelling.

The incomparable Beetz makes this relatively routine single-location action flick a thrill.

Currently in theaters.

See It.

'Pizza Movie' A Review

Pizza Movie is a stoner college comedy about two college roommates, Jack(Gaten Matarazzo) and Montgomery(Sean Giambrone), who find a mysterious and potent drug in their dorm room, take it, and must venture down to the lobby to pick up a pizza.

Matarazzo and Giambrone have charm and a certain chemistry but neither really has the experience to be leading men. Previously part of popular ensemble TV shows(Stranger Things and The Goldbergs respectively) they put in a valiant effort here and mine some laughs but they don't really provide much in the way of emotion or character to lock in to. The supporting cast is stronger- Lulu Wilson, Caleb Hearon, and Sarah Sherman- but despite energy and effort can't really elevate the somewhat slap-dash narrative.

The production is relatively straightforward but the drug sequences are fun with animation, practical effects, and some CGI. Those are basically the main selling point and where the movie gets creative. Ultimately though the story is a bit too muddled, the leads(although enthusiastic) a bit miscast, to really get this flick on the level of a PCU or Harold & Kumar.

An intriguing premise fails to come to full fruition.

Currently streaming on Disney+/Hulu.

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'Ready Or Not: Here I Come' A Review

Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come is a horror/thriller, a sequel to the 2019 flick, picking up right where that movie left off. After surviving her attempted sacrifice Grace(Samara Weaving) must endure a double-or-nothing game this time pitted against the various other members of the Satanic cabal and they've brought in her sister Faith(Kathryn Newton) as extra incentive.

Weaving maintains her top tier Scream Queen/Final Girl status and it's great to see her again in this role. Newton is a wonderful addition and although some of the exposition the two are saddled with is a bit clunky they have great chemistry. The supporting cast is even richer than its predecessor- Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, David Cronenberg, Elijah Wood, and Néstor Carbonell, among others- all deliciously play the avaricious satanists.

On a limited budget the movie makes the most out of its(mostly) singular location and focuses(again) on practical effects and fight choreography, it's potent and it's fun although maybe not a well we necessarily needed to go back to. It's somewhat bogged down by unnecessary lore, similar but not nearly as egregious as the John Wick movies, what was compelling about the original was Weaving surviving and kicking ass not the specific machinations of the Satanic cult and contract. It doesn't noticeably detract but the movie could definitely be tighter, more propulsive.

Solidly entertaining, a wonderful cast, but not particularly surprising.

Currently in theaters.

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Spring

before

the warmth transforms
comes

the crud and the mud

that fertile soup

wherein

the worms squirm

and the bulbs revive

'Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie' A Review

Nirvanna The Band The Show The Movie is a time travel/parody/mocumentary about aspiring musicians Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol(playing versions of themselves) attempts to play at Toronto venue the Rivoli which inadvertently sends them back in time.

Based on/a continuation of their TV show and web series the style is pretty niche, reminiscent of last years Pavements, I'm not sure anyone not already fans have much to actually enjoy here. As a novice, Johnson is relentlessly insufferable and McCarrol seems to do virtually nothing. The Back To The Future element is less parody than it is just direct recreation and reference. The hidden camera/on-the-street elements are somewhat impressive in that they're able to stitch together a narrative but other than constraints of budget that element doesn't bring anything to the movie or serve much purpose.

For fans of the duo presumably a real hit, for the uninitiated not much to offer beyond the mediocre. Hot Tub Time Machine did a better Back To The Future spoof, Bad Trip did a more inventive narrative and was funnier at using guerilla/prank style shooting.

NTBTSTM isn't bad it's just not particularly lively or original. It's a pastiche of better films and ideas.

Currently available to rent on most VOD platforms.

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'Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice' A Review

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice is a scifi action/comedy about Mike(James Marsden) who's fallen in love with his boss Nick's(Vince Vaughn)wife Alice(Eiza González) the both of whom want to flee the criminal underworld they inhabit. But Nick's future self has come back on this evening in particular because Mike's life is in danger.

The cast is stacked with talent both Vaughn and Marsden have buckets of charm and humor they deploy throughout, González doesn't have much to do but her innate watchability makes it work. The supporting cast has some fun surprises- Keith David(legend), Jimmy Tatro, Stephen Root, and Dolph Lundgren- are all fun and funny. There's a scrappiness about the production and the cast that translates to low key fun.

The script is overly plotted, the title is unnecessarily cumbersome, and some sequences employ some pretty dated(and cheap looking) filmmaking techniques. BUT. Overall it's a mostly effective fun action/comedy with a scifi twist that allows Vaughn to do a double role(pretty well!).

Entertaining if not spectacular.

Currently streaming on Hulu.

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Life Is Suffering

In the dark
lonely hours
the First Noble Truth
takes on new resonance

when illness or fear

keep rest at bay

it requires

a certain pragmatism

to endure

hydrate

piss

lay down

clear the mind

sleep

wake up

repeat

it is not

the big questions

of Purpose or Meaning

that offer solace

but base necessities

that mitigate dread

during the long night

'Project Hail Mary' A Review

Project Hail Mary is a scifi movie based on the 2021 novel of the same name. Grace(Ryan Gosling) awakens from a medically induced coma on a space craft with amnesia. Over time and through flashbacks he figures out he is part of a mission to determine the cause and correct the dropping temperature of the sun. He meets and befriends an alien who he names Rocky and the two set about trying to save both their worlds.

Gosling deploys every ounce of every-man charm he has(which is substantial) and mostly shoulders the film effortlessly. Rocky, voiced and puppeteer'd by James Ortiz is also really wonderful and the real heart and focus of the film is their burgeoning friendship and connection. They have great chemistry and the nuts-and-bolts hard scifi problems are interesting but really it's their relationship and the surprising amount of humor the film mines that's the real delight.

The film is beautiful and really uses Space and the space to great effect. With a good blend of practical effects and CGI there's a tactile quality the really elevates it. Some real classic rock needle drops serve to fill out a pretty stellar sound design. All-in-all the production is near perfect.

If there's a fault it is in the run time, it feels a tad long, ends several times, these are all taken directly from the book so it's faithful to its source material but as a cinematic experience it could have packed a bit more punch at minus 10-15 minutes.

A wonderfully thrilling and surprisingly emotional ride with laughs to spare. The first real blockbuster of 2026.

Currently in theaters.

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Guileless

It took me years
to learn guile

how I grew up

who I grew up with

it wasn't picturesque

wasn't faultless

but the joys

and the cruelties

were all honest

straightforward

I was slow

to recognize

deceptions

mostly from the rich

the privileged

the bosses

you need wealth

to posture

the certainty

of safety

for pretense

a flexible

morality

for hypocrisy

all class luxuries

and craven

'Fukushima: A Nuclear Nightmare' A Review

Fukushima A Nuclear Nightmare is a documentary about the 2011 earthquake, resulting tsunami and subsequent nuclear disaster. Through found, news and social media footage from the time and talking head interviews, the Fukushima incident is delved.

The footage is harrowing and the first hand accounts, particularly those from the plant workers, are poignant and make for an informative and effective doc but other than general warnings about nuclear power, capitalism, and just overall human hubris what it all ultimately means, the broader take aways or specific indictments, are left vague. It feels as if it's building up to a call-to-action but there's no number to call, no organization to donate to, nothing to be done(or at least that's the feeling one is left with). Nuclear power rises in popularity again, another threat in the laundry list of our current pre-apocalyptic age.

A reminder we haven't learn from the past even if when it's recent.

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

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'Inside The Manosphere' A Review

Inside The Manosphere is a documentary about the rise of toxic masculinity/misogyny on the internet particularly focusing on influencer culture. Presenter Louis Theroux interviews and shadows various manosphere goons attempting to discourse with them logically and making faces at their more egregious declarations.

The movie is composed of social media clips and footage of Theroux as he follows various influencers observing and interviewing them. Visually it's not particularly original or dynamic but with this kind of doc cinematography isn't really a focus and ultimately doesn't detract from what it's trying to get at. But what is that exactly? Other than letting these guys regurgitate their poisonous talking points and Theroux looking surprised and/or disgusted he occasionally challenges some of their views in conversation(which is something) but there's not as much of a pointed indictment as this kind of ugliness should solicit(in favor of attempting to take a more humanist view ie most of them didn't have dads and/or were abused) nor is the broader cultural context in which these twisted Peter Pans exist much investigated nor their, and more broadly this movements, effects on women. 

It all feels mostly superficial, simply scratching the surface, the attitude boils down to "how crazy is this right?" with Theroux as the straight man, in some ways mirroring the same tactics as these influencers. Without more nuance, analysis, and context this could be viewed as providing a more mainstream platform for these worms.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

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Big City Living

I knew it was different
when at the Barnes & Noble

a man tried to sell me

on becoming an escort

a rite of passage perhaps

for any rube

moving to the city

with nebulous dreams

strangers, unsolicited

extolling the benefits

(and growth opportunities)

of sex work

'The Bride!' A Review

The Bride! is a horror movie inspired by Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein and the 1935 film Bride of Frankenstein. The movie opens in purgatory(?) with a monologue from the spirit of Mary Shelley(Jessie Buckley) waxing poetic about the sequel she wants to write, she then posses(?) Ida(Jessie Buckley) a woman in 1930's Chicago who dies and is revived at the request of Frankenstein(Christian Bale). The two then go on a crime spree(kinda?) a la Bonnie & Clyde.

Buckley, who has had a totally earned bangers year or two, give this everything she has. She's pouring her talent, energy, and self into this part and unfortunately all that effort can't really make sense of the clunky script or the uneven tone. Similarly Bale, one of our best living actors, brings all his focus and eccentricity to give Frank some electricity but neither of them is able, despite truly colossal effort, to resurrect the movie. The supporting cast has substantial talent but none of them have much to do(Annette Benning particularly is woefully underused) and all struggle with the wooden dialogue and convoluted plotting.

Where the film shines is in its production, the costuming, the make up, the dance sequences, the soundtrack are all rich with ideas and artistry the issue though is that all design aspects(as well as the acting and narrative) all feel like disparate components that are never synthesized, there is no unifying vision or tone, it's thematically rich but underdeveloped even confused. Writer/director Gyllenhaal conflates female rage with female empowerment, agency is addressed as far as the titular Bride's name but not in how the character actually behaves and reacts to situations. We ultimately don't even know who she is, is she Mary Shelley's ghost, is she Ida, or is she The Bride? Her personality, her personhood isn't clearly explored in favor a series of violent confrontations/situations. Gyllenhaal is ambitious here both artistically and narratively but the result is more cacophonous than impactful.

Despite the considerable powers of Buckley and Bale the monster fails to animate.

Currently in theaters.

Don't See It.

'War Machine' A Review

War Machine is a scifi/action movie about aspiring Army Ranger "81"(Alan Ritchson) whose team is attacked by a large alien military machine during their final training exercise.

Ritchson has enough presence and stoic charm to make up for his limited range and seems to be the heir apparent to the beefcake 80's action star a la Stallone/Schwarzenegger, and that's not a bad thing, there have been a dearth of straight-up action movies in recent years, unfortunately the movie he's in is a bit too thin to make an impression but here's hoping this is the beginning of more feature leading roles for Ritchson. The supporting cast have some talent but all are so woefully underwritten and most of the "bonding" in the first half while the recruits are in training is montaged.

The look of the picture is pretty generic but at least most of the scenes take place during the day in adequate lighting. The alien machine design is pretty simplistic bordering on laughable but the CGI isn't bad and with the set and sound design there is a sense of reality. There's plenty of pretty intense gore, which at times is a bit incongruous, tonally the movie doesn't seem totally clear on what it wants to be. It's overly serious but doesn't spend much time on the emotion or character and the scifi element is so brutal and menacing there's not a ton of fun in it.  Still, not terrible just not particularly good.

A laundry flick.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

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On The Train

I have seen the despairing faces

wrapped tightly in plastic tarps
and smelled the shit

wrinkled my face in disgust

at the smokers and agree

yes

these are unpleasant things

my fellow work-a-day commuters

would prefer these miseries

somewhere else

out of sight

but in their honesty

are they more human

than the truculent DePaul student

taking up multiple seats with bags

or sprawling legs

than the blustering businesswoman

barking her marketing directives

to a meek assistant

than the baby-faced Goldman bros

braying their hotness rating

for their co-workers

they all seem alien

in their artifice

in their vanity

but I recognize

the need for warmth

the need for sleep

these are universal things

the stink more tolerable than avarice

'Pillion' A Review

Pillion is a romantic dramedy about Colin(Harry Melling) a sexually inexperienced introvert living with his parents in suburban London who meets Ray(Alexander Skarsgård) an enigmatic biker from a local club. Ray then initiates Colin into a strict BDSM relationship which Colin initially enjoys but ultimately struggles to find fulfillment in.

Melling gives an incredibly brave an honest performance, the character seems incapable of artifice and all of Colin's emotions wash over Melling's face(and body), his yearning for love most of all is so heartbreakingly apparent throughout, he is shattering in his vulnerability. Skarsgård, in maybe his best roll to date, is equally compelling if not as easy to read. He's mysterious but within that mystery he's able to find moments of revelation and eccentricity for the character, revealing to us circuitously his motivations, his desires, and his limitations. The two have phenomenal chemistry and although the support cast is wonderful, its the exploration and discovery of their dynamic that is the real beating heart of the film. Those scenes behind closed doors where power, pleasure, and absurdity are delved.

Visually simple yet beautiful and evocative. Dark suburban streets flicking by with the rev of an engine on the soundtrack you feel what Colin feels, you feel his liberation but also fear. The score is pitch perfect, passionate but haunting, and there's some diegetic music that's really effective. The costumes are great, all in all it's not flashy but totally harmonious production design.

Rich with emotion, intricate power dynamics and graphic passions.

Currently in theaters.

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The Great Equalizer

parental relations are

by nature

complicated

so those times

that are good

really purely good

have real weight

and importance

for my dad and I

sport

seems to be

the great equalizer

we went to the Bulls game

and start to finish

stem to stern

it was simply

a lovely night

just fun

just pleasant

enjoyment

of where we were

who we were with

and what we were doing

sounds basic

but in my experience

rare

'The Wrecking Crew' A Review

The Wrecking Crew is an action/comedy about two estranged brothers brought together by the mysterious death of their father.

Dave Bautista brings his steely, grounded presence and Jason Momoa brings his Peter Pan charm and in general, it really works. The two have great chemistry, the comedy works, the emotional beats(occasionally a bit rote) mostly work too. It's a great riff on the buddy cop subgenre that has mostly been languishing since the 90's. The supporting cast are all talents and having fun- Temuera Morrison, Jacob Batalon(Ned from Spider-Man), Frankie Adams, Miyavi, Morena Baccarin, Roimata Fox, on and on- all-in just great casting and other than the two leads mostly regular working actor types which just really enhances the ensemble.

As far as the look, the mix of on-location and green screen/CGI mostly works, some of the more complicated action sequences are, thankfully, actually lit but the CGI car crashes and destruction of property isn't as effective as the more practical effects, what really shines is the fight sequences which are all long shots, perfectly choregraphed and shot from a remove where you can actually see what is happening. That more than anything really puts this flick a cut above. If there's a detraction it's just the needless collateral damage, a hallmark of contemporary action pictures, it's great when the bad guys get their due but do we need so much destruction of public property and innocent bystanders?

Two charismatic leads(and an impeccable cast) elevate a relatively pedestrian buddy cop treatment.

Currently streaming on Prime.

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'Wuthering Heights' A Review

Wuthering Heights is a gothic romance about the tortured relationship between Cathy(Margot Robbie) and Healthcliff(Jacob Elordi).

Although populated by talented actors the casting here is off from the jump. In the source material Cathy, Healthcliff, and Nelly(played by the criminally underused Hong Chau) are supposed to be in their late teens and the main three are all too old for the roles and the chemistry between Robbie and Elordi is spotty. That on top of the melodramatic machinations of the plotting make much of it, including the central romantic connection, hard to buy into.

The production design is ambitious, with some wonderful costuming and an appropriately mournful score, but it's tonally inconsistent, it's not period but it's not-not period so ultimately a lot of the choices seem unmotivated or at least seem to be driven by- is x cool? There's some BDSM stuff but that's not fully explored, some agency and relationship stuff that's not fully explored, thematically a lot is just left on the table and it's unclear if there's anything unifying behind any of it.

Maybe this is true of the source material(I haven't read the novel) but here, everyone is kind of a selfish scumbag so none of it really has any stakes. Whoever ends up with who, whoever dies, whatever the cost of any of the choices being made, none of it really has any narrative weight. And it's too long. The tragic ending leaves you relieved not effected.

Talent and ability desperately in search of coherent vision.

Currently in theatres.

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False Spring

I overhear commuters

relishing the warmth

bidding adieu

to winter

romanticizing
the 'last' snow

I laugh

at the hubris

the ignorance

as this is but a feint

a tease

a brief reprieve

from the trials ahead

soon comes March

in all its bleakness

the freezing mud

and the floods

and the gloom

the real test

of any Midwestern spirit.

'Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die!' A Review

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die is a scifi movie about a man from the future(Sam Rockwell) who arrives at a diner in LA to gather a group of people to save the world from a malevolent AI.

Rockwell brings his patented fast-talking humor and charm and it's deployed here almost entirely appropriately. The supporting cast is filled with some ringers-Michael Peña, Zazie Beetz, Juno Temple, and Haley Lu Richardson. Richardson has the most to do and has great chemistry with Rockwell and does what she does best, brings some much needed grounding and emotional sincerity which balances some of the more bonkers antics.

Shot conservatively and in limited locations the film has a real sense of place and texture, the CGI is limited, and whatever can be done practically is. It's not Brazil, although clearly it's an inspiration, but the production elements all work in concert to give the film a particular look and feel, an identity, which is refreshing given the ongoing homogenization of movie aesthetics.

Plot wise, it's a bit bloated but ambitious. Modern themes(Big Tech, AI, school shootings etc.) are explored if not sophisticatedly at least directly. And even if there's nothing particularly satisfying about the commentary it feels of-the-moment, feels like it's engaging with now. There's ultimately just a little too much fat, at 135 minutes, it drags, it slogs, it looses the interest it very cleverly cultivates.

A great 100 minute movie.

Currently in theaters.

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'By Design' A Review

By Design is a dramedy about Camille(Juliette Lewis) a woman seeking deeper meaning in her life. When her and her two pals(Samantha Mathis and Robin Tunney) go shopping after their regular lunch Camille is struck by the beauty and simplicity of a designer chair whom she trades places with.

Lewis, no surprise, is wonderful here absolutely locked in to the playful expressionistic tone conveying yearning, vulnerability, and a subtle exploration of identity. Mathis and Tunney are great to see and great in this, providing some humor and further bolstering the unique and engaging vibe. Melanie Griffith is a pitch perfect narrator and Mamoudou Athie as Olivier who becomes enraptured with Camille-as-chair is equally effective. All-in-all a stellar cast all focused and working together in service of this quirky yet stirring vision, gliding from drama to comedy to quiet poignancy with an assured deftness.

Visually the film is understated but expressive, with some dream sequences, magical realism, and symbolic editing that isn't flashy but is singular and archetypal. The costuming is stellar and razor sharp and the score is minimal and eerie. Writer/director Amanda Kramer's vision is clear and fully realized, given the small scale she's able to actualize one of the best films of the year.

Women becomes chair: a meditation on the nature of being.

Currently in theaters.

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Water Won't Save You

Over the last decade

the water bottle

has become

ubiquitous

everyone

everywhere

carrying their Owala

their Yeti

their S'well

fixated

focused

on hitting

their daily liter goal

as if

this nominal achievement

will prevent

the tumult and toil

of existing

in this world

'Queen Of Chess' A Review

Queen Of Chess is a documentary about Hungarian chess grandmaster Judit Polgár. Through talking head interviews, archival footage, and some chess match reenactments her life and career are explored.

Polgár and her sisters were an 'experiment' by their father, attempting to create genius from intense study from an early age. As her chess prowess grew so did her ambition becoming a trail blazer in crossing over to men's chess and climbing the rankings. The film loosely revolves around her various games with then world champion Kasparov.

Visually the film is relatively pedestrian but the content is so engaging it doesn't particularly matter and ultimately the subject doesn't necessitate any formal invention. It's nice to see somewhat of a classic documentary in form that simply engages thoroughly with a captivating subject.

Stirring in content if somewhat conventional in form.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

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'The Moment' A Review

The Moment is a mocumentary about British musician Charlie XCC beginning in September 2024 at the tail end of Brat summer as Charlie grapples with her new level of fame, an upcoming arena tour, and commercial pressures.

Charlie XCX is compelling as this version of herself but much like similar projects I'm Still Here and The Nowhere Inn there's a bit of frustration in that who she actually is is still unknown. This 'character' is all artifice, this plot is all artifice and as a result any kind of artistic truth is hard to parse. The supporting cast is talented- Rosanna Arquette(love to see her), Alexander Skarsgård, Hailey Gates- to name a few. But the plot they all inhabit is all pretty meager and it appears much of the dialogue was improvised which gives the whole thing a pretty stilted feel.

Visually the film is rich with striking, colorful, intriguing imagery there's just not a ton under the surface. And there's a kind of a stunning lack of music. The production all works but there's ultimately just not much of a coherent vison for it to bolster up. There's feints at commenting about image, commercialism, and artistic vs. financial success but when you boil it down the film has no answers. For Charlie XCX fans that may be more than enough but as a standalone piece of cinema, much like last year's Pavements, there's not a ton for the uninitiated to enjoy.

Ambitious if underbaked.

Currently in theaters.

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Parable Of The Drowning Man

New Orleans, 2005, Katrina
A man stands on his roof
as the flood waters rise

a woman in a canoe paddles up

says to the man

"get in, the water is rising fast"

the man says

"no, God will save me"

she paddles on

a short time later a boy

in a 4-stroke motorboat comes along

"mister" he says "you gotta get in here"

the man says 

"no, God will save me"

the boy leaves

the water rises

it covers the mans feet

he hears the pulsing of a helicopter

a coast guard search and rescue team

shouts down

"HEADS UP, WE'RE THROWING DOWN A LADDER"

the man says

"NO, GOD WILL SAVE ME"

and after some argument

the helicopter flies off

to the next rescue

and the waters rise

and the pious man

is washed away

in the tumult

and the churn

In Heaven

the man stands before God

the man says

"God, I strived to live a devout life.

My faith in you never waivered.

Why did you forsake me in my hour of need?"

and God says

"I sent you two boats and a helicopter.

What did you want?

A gilded invitation!?"