A Phantom Call

2006: I got off the train and was heading home when the phone rang. It was early and the neighborhood was quiet. I was alone. I stared at the phone as it continued to ring. Eventually I answered.

Me: Hello?
Voice: Steven.
Me: (looks around) Who is this?
Voice: Stever Beaver.
Me: (agitated) Who the hell is this?
Voice: Do you want to know the future?
Me: Adam?
Voice: It's not Adam. Listen, I don't have much time.
Me: (false bravado) You listen, I don't have time for kiddy prank bullshit.
Voice: When you were a kid you had a cot you slept in set up right next to your bed. You kept your journal behind your headboard with sandalwood matches. You use to lay awake at night imagining you were a dragonrider of Pern.
Me: ...
Voice: Do you want to know the future?
Me: ...ahhhhh no. I don't think I do.
Voice: (laughs) You don't.
Me: (long pause) How about some advice?
Voice: Keep your head up, your eyes open, and tell the truth. Do the next right thing. Let go. You're not in control, stop acting like you are.
Me: I don't get it.
Voice: And keep your bike locked up. Don't be stupid about it.
Me: Dude, I always lock up my bike. Who is this?
Voice: I'm the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench, the pain in the ass.
Me: Die Hard. I love that quote.
Voice: I know. Keep your nose clean Steverino.
(click)