Josh Pitts

Once in grade school
I missed the bus
so had to walk home

my buddy Josh

always walked home

because he only lived

a couple blocks away

and so we walked together

just him and I

and as we walked

some strong emotion

took control of his face

which was completely

out of character

usually a very funny

happy-go-lucky kid

he was clearly pained

so I asked him

"Is something wrong?"

and he began to weep

uncontrollably

and through his tears and gasps

he simply said

"It's excruciating."

at ten it was not a word

I'd ever heard

not a concept

I recognized

but in the moment

within the context

I understood

"Is something going on?"

I asked

he just kept crying

"I get sad sometimes"

I said

"But it passes. It'll be better tomorrow."

he shook his head

at his house

I walked him to his door

"I can play-uh-hang out if you want."

we were at that age

but he said "No, thanks."

tears still shining in his eyes

and closed his door.

I walked the rest of the way home

thinking about that word

excruciating

and the absolute sincerity

in which he used it.

We never spoke of it

and I never saw that side of him again.