Rage 2

I almost hit a man on the train. It was crowded. It was during rush hour. I was listening to a podcast. I was standing in the middle of the aisle close to one of the doors. This man was in the middle of the car. He was in his 50's, probably 5'5'', and slim. We were approaching the Belmont station and hadn't yet come to a stop. He started to make his way towards the door and was behind me on my left when he said "Coming out here!" And I became angry.

It wasn't so much what he said it was how he said it- as if the train was full of thoughtless idiots, as if we all should know to get out of the way, on a packed train, before the train had even stopped. I looked over my left shoulder and made eye contact with him. I imagined grabbing him by the front of his jacket with my left hand and smashing his glasses into his face with my right fist, pivoting from the waste and coming up and over from the shoulder to maximize the power of the blow. He wouldn't be able to bring his hands up to protect himself because they were pinned by other people around him. I imagined running off the train and out of the station in order to avoid any cops that would happen to be in the vicinity. I figured that if I did it fast enough no one would react in time for me to face any repercussions.

I had this thought very quickly then turned back to the train wall and got as close as I could to the people sitting in front of me in order to provide room for him to exit. He didn't say anything else, the train stopped, and he exited.

I had the thought but I discarded it. I became angry very fast but the feeling left me just as quickly.

We're all works in progress.