The City and The City

And are we
always
in communion
with one another

on the street

the train

out to eat

at the beach

solitude

is only internal

we may feel lonely

isolated

dwarfed by the pillars

of concrete and glass

unmoored wanderers

amid the tumult

amid the churn

but we are never alone

we are never separated

division is only illusion

the reality-

we are all connected

each akin to the other

thrumming cells

in pumping arteries

moving, living, breathing tendrils

of this great and wonderous ever unfolding City

part and parcel to the incessant growth and shrink

the inevitable and ceaseless decay and renewal

small but integral, vital parts of this

transcendent municipal experiment back a thousand years and more

on the banks and beaches where the River meets the Lake

expressions of its endurance

Big City Living

I knew it was different
when at the Barnes & Noble

a man tried to sell me

on becoming an escort

a rite of passage perhaps

for any rube

moving to the city

with nebulous dreams

strangers, unsolicited

extolling the benefits

(and growth opportunities)

of sex work

On The Train

I have seen the despairing faces

wrapped tightly in plastic tarps
and smelled the shit

wrinkled my face in disgust

at the smokers and agree

yes

these are unpleasant things

my fellow work-a-day commuters

would prefer these miseries

somewhere else

out of sight

but in their honesty

are they more human

than the truculent DePaul student

taking up multiple seats with bags

or sprawling legs

than the blustering businesswoman

barking her marketing directives

to a meek assistant

than the baby-faced Goldman bros

braying their hotness rating

for their co-workers

they all seem alien

in their artifice

in their vanity

but I recognize

the need for warmth

the need for sleep

these are universal things

the stink more tolerable than avarice

Polar Vortex

I find I am relieved
after several
mild winters waiting

the snow and the cold

the ice and the bite

return, unrelenting

and it is certainly

inconvenient

the layering

the preparation

the deliberate caution

but in a time

when so much

is uncertain

there is a comfort

in the bluntness

of a classic

Chicago January

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Watching the Cubs
post-season push
in South Dakota
I yearn for my city
as ICE tactics escelate
and strangers we encounter here
respond to our hometown
with silence and discomfort
I yearn for my city
its danger
that I may share in it
its community
because I am part of it

Summer in the City

In Chicago
summer comes in at a crawl
in fits and starts
it teases
then retreats

it bludgeons

then recedes

but eventually

when least expected

it settles in

all we denizens sigh

and relish

the promise

once again fulfilled

Ode To Public Transit

I like trains
and buses

they move me

through space

and time

I do not move

I am moved

flying costs too much

Chicago Pride

Despite the difficulties

crime, inflation, the political machine
despite civic complications

CTA, property tax, CPS

there is no where I'd rather be

than as a denizen of our fair city

its people characterized(generally speaking)

by determined work ethic

and cautious kindness

visiting the DMV today

I was struck

not by frustration, irritation, and malice

as is the cliché

but by a profound sense

of belonging

of community

orderly queuing

prompt and affable treatment

all of us

together

civic responsibility on one side

civil service on the other

all of us Chicagoans

(or presumably Cook County residents)

in acceptance of the day

and its necessities

in pursuit of accomplishment

however minor

and in this efficiency and mundanity

life

in all its depth and complexity

in all its richness

we are here

in the City of Big Shoulders

and we move forward

pride fills my chest

and eyes water in gratitude

joyful in our shared purpose

however fleeting

Fireworks

On a night
when a sign is needed
lo, the City provides

a gift for the weary

a demonstration

of the Summer's promise

100 Mile Radius

Perhaps there is a cost
in experience or perspective

for living only

in this place

not straying far

from the confines

of my birth

regret strikes

on occasion

the what ifs

the paths aborted

and yet

I am more myself having stayed

roots sunk deep, ever deeper

the land more mine

and me more hers

The Boy and The Bike

While parking downtown
a boy passing with his family

asked me to rev my engine
saying only "vroooom!"
and making the universal throttle sign

with open fist and turning wrist

I responded "you want to do it?"

popping the bike in neutral

and returning the gesture, instructional

tentative he approached

spurred on by his dad and uncle

then snake-quick he reached out

and thrust the throttle down

making the bike roar and echo

off the indifferent stone of the Art Institute

ecstatic but possibly in shock

he backed cautiously away

and his brother, older, not to be out done

marched up and did the same

planting the seed perhaps

of future riders, motorcyclists to come

CTA Soundtrack

the boombox
has become
the bluetooth speaker

renegades

who have seemingly

never conceived of headphones

inflicting 

their playlist

on involuntary passengers

pulsing, pumping

beats, lyrics

intrusive cacophony

and yet

the melody

echos the churning train

reflects the pulse in the bodies within

better this noise

than tourist's bleating

or the bluster of the trader bros.

The Urban Conundrum

You could say
the height

the density of the City

is suffocating

claustrophobic

You could say

the limited ability

to see the horizon

or wide open sky

engenders a state

of sustained alienation

or

You could say

the architectural apogees

the lattice of avenues

is a constant

stationary

enfolding

You could say

in its closeness

there arises a subconscious

fellowship

an intermingling

of the animate denizens

as well as the quiescent environment

in this reciprocity

there is a singular identity, the City

and being a part

of that colossal whole

is not isolating

or minimizing

but a great

Belonging.

Vibe City

Author Neil Gaiman once wrote
"Chicago comes on slow, like a migraine"

which is not inaccurate

given the windy city's sprawl

but perhaps more apt would be

Chicago comes on slow, like a psychedelic

creeping then explosive

potentially transcendent or demoralizing

depending on the approach, the perspective

depending on the vibe

because it is a vibe city, an energy city, a feeling city

and you have to ride it, commune with it

pay Her the due respect, fealty

or be submerged, overwhelmed, digested

She is keen but capricious, caring but cold

a home with edges.

Chicago Transit Authority

It gets me where I need to go
however circuitous

it gets me where I need to go

wherever I am

it can take me anywhere

wherever I am

there are multiple paths

to my destination

perhaps not always swiftly

perhaps not consistently efficiently

none the less

it gets me where I need to go

air conditioned or heated

(their operation always depending)

comfortable, moderately safe

within the confines of steel

under the casual artistry

of the conductor

or the put-upon proficiency

of the driver

train or bus

transfer or shuttle

the city is always in motion

always thrumming

always moving

and at any time

it gets me where I need to go.

The first thing to understand about Chicago

is that the CTA is the city. In all it's lovely capriciousness.

That Don't Cut Shit In Chicago

My father went to a small college in Minnesota
his classmates were mostly from in-state

but there was a small contingent from the greater Midwestern area

and when the natives would extol the urbanity of the Twin Cities

he and his friends would respond something to the effect of

"Yeah well that don't cut shit in Chicago"

being born and raised in Northern Illinois

and now a long time denizen of that City Of Broad Shoulders

the sentiment has stuck with me

and become a catch all

not only for the roiling, teeming humanity of my beloved city

not only for the cornucopic culture- art, culinary and otherwise

but for the Midwestern urban ethos

that reserved kindness, that quiet respect, that awareness

most citizens tend to adopt in order to live in this particular city

there is an anonymous belonging She offers that is utterly unique

we do not have the sprawling faux-wellness of LA

or the pretentious grit of NYC

what we have is a hushed, unflinching determination

a glorious momentum, an inevitability

so when people talk about Nashville, Milwaukee, Cleveland

about Albuquerque, St. Louis, Atlanta

they sound like nice places to visit

but if we must compare, I will always say

that don't cut shit in Chicago.

Bodega Man

After a year

of missing 

the bodega man

I realized 

I should just ask

and today I did

the owner said

he's doing uber

I asked

if he still saw him

he said yes

and I said

tell him I miss him

and he said

he hangs out

occasionally

on Friday night

and I said

I'd stop in

and try to catch him

maybe finally

I'll ask his name

but then again

maybe not

there is power

in nameless fellowship.

The Grid Plan

On my first adult visit to Chicago
(I say adult as it was for business not for pleasure)

My sister, a resident, gave me directions

and when I asked for clarification

she told me the city was on a grid

and described to me The Grid Plan-

numbers emanating out from The Loop

north and south and east and west

whereby I could place myself within it's net 

at whatever intersection I might be-

and after a moment, understanding

like trumpets or cymbals crashing

the beauty of such order nearly brought me to knees

and as I made my way out into it's depths

I knew exactly where I was and how to get to where I'd be

the idea quite extraordinary, the practice ingenuous ease 

there are those detractors of the grid

who rail against it's corners and command

but there is majesty in boxes, purpose in straight lines

and when it comes to function the grid is close to the sublime.

Our City

Break, burn, or bleed
that's not what I see
I see survival
and perhaps,
perhaps a chance
at transformation
thus I will not fear
or flee.

We Are The City Of Broad Shoulders

We have never had the brashness of The Big Apple

Or the eclecticism of The Big Orange

But we endure

not through attitude or activism

but Midwestern determination

tempered by blasting cold

fostered by humidity

We the city of Broad Shoulders

We proud Chicagoans

take one step and then another

quiet, purposeful, unflinching

armed with humor

fortified by kindness

despair not in our lexicon
the wind took it long ago

there is only persistence, hunger, and hope-

A resilience yet untapped.

We've endured two hundred years

and we'll endure two hundred more.