'Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets' A Review

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a science fiction adventure based on the french comic series Valérian and Laureline. The movie opens on the international space station and through montage progresses hundreds of years in the future and shows additional countries on Earth joining then eventually representatives from different alien cultures, eventually the station called Alpha becomes too big for Earth's orbit and sets off to travel space. In the 28th Century two special agents of the human police force are sent on a mission to recover the last surviving Replicator, a creature that can replicate any object, and are unwittingly tangled up in a conspiracy.

Dane DeHaan as the titular Valerian is terribly cast, he puts forth a singular effort but almost every aspect of his performance rings false. Cara Delevingne as his partner Laureline is significantly more believable but their chemistry is non-existent and their proto-sexist dynamic is disturbing, discordant, and horribly out of place in 2017. The supporting cast sports some big names(Ethan Hawk, Clive Owen) but fails to give them that much to do.

Visually the film is stunning, like hot neon cotton candy, a smorgasbord of alien CGI. But without competent actors or a coherent story to inhabit the interesting landscape it doesn't amount to much. The narrative is promising but is bloated and drags at parts, taking extended scenes for unnecessary exposition and meaningless diversions.

Eye-candy but not much else.

Don't See It.