Monday, April 1, 2024

'Road House' A Review

 
Road House is an action movie, a remake of 1989 cult classic. Elwood Dalton(Jake Gyllenhaal) is a disgraced MMA fighter scrapping by hustling underground fighting rings. Frankie(Jessica Williams) the owner of a road house named Road House in the Florida Keys hires him to keep her rowdy clientele in line. But everything isn't as it first appears! You guessed it, a shady developer needs the land the road house is built on to make a resort.

Gyllenhaal gives a painful, confused performance. Earnest in all the wrong ways, clearly a lot of effort went into his physique and on a 43 year old man it looks weird bordering on grotesque. He's not charming, he has no real chemistry with any of his castmates, he's not funny, there's virtually nothing that he brings to the role that is effective. Similarly Conor McGregor in his acting debut, is terrible. Awkward physically and stilted verbally he looks and sounds like a middle school drama club member who's excitement about participating far exceeds any sliver of talent. Excruciating to watch. Williams is wasted in the underdeveloped role as Frankie and her comedy chops aren't factored in. The sole person that's able to carve out an actual character is Arturo Castro as Moe one of the toughs, he plays him with a befuddled good-naturedness that's genuinely fun and funny and is pretty much the only character that resembles an actual human being.

The production elements are equally objectionable. CGI is liberally used to spruce up the fight scenes and the action sequences in a glitzy transparent way that undermines them. The soundtrack is full of treakley pop with the capper being an unsettling Sublime cover. There was clearly issues with the sound mix because over half the dialogue is disturbingly ADR'd. Like the performances, the production design and execution is profoundly uneven. The script(clearly doctored by half a dozen screenwriters) is beyond predictable with attempted one-liners that land like lead balloons, with a bad mix of action and(attempted) story that do justice to neither.

A total miss on virtually every level. Lifeless. Offensive, not in its content but in its quality.

Currently streaming on Prime.

Don't See It.

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