Parable Of The Drowning Man

New Orleans, 2005, Katrina
A man stands on his roof
as the flood waters rise

a woman in a canoe paddles up

says to the man

"get in, the water is rising fast"

the man says

"no, God will save me"

she paddles on

a short time later a boy

in a 4-stroke motorboat comes along

"mister" he says "you gotta get in here"

the man says 

"no, God will save me"

the boy leaves

the water rises

it covers the mans feet

he hears the pulsing of a helicopter

a coast guard search and rescue team

shouts down

"HEADS UP, WE'RE THROWING DOWN A LADDER"

the man says

"NO, GOD WILL SAVE ME"

and after some argument

the helicopter flies off

to the next rescue

and the waters rise

and the pious man

is washed away

in the tumult

and the churn

In Heaven

the man stands before God

the man says

"God, I strived to live a devout life.

My faith in you never waivered.

Why did you forsake me in my hour of need?"

and God says

"I sent you two boats and a helicopter.

What did you want?

A gilded invitation!?"

The Illusion Of Separateness

The function of communion
is not

the dissipation of sin

or even

the reverence of Christ

the function

is to remind us

that we are not separate beings

that we are, in fact, a part

of something greater, broader, and deeper

than we may sometimes feel

particularly in those times

of isolation and despair

when solitude and otherness plague us

the effect of the ritual

has very little to do with theology

the function

is to remind us

that we are together

that we are part

of a collective, a community

and if we are to take Christ at his words

that belonging

is not predicated upon fealty

that togetherness

is not limited

it is boundless

it is only restricted

by our willingness

by our own shortcomings

'Inside The Yellow Cocoon Shell' A Review

Inside The Yellow Cocoon Shell is a transcendental drama about Thiện(Lê Phong Vũ) a spiritual searcher, who after the untimely death of his sister-in-law, takes his nephew Đạo(Nguyễn Thịnh) back to his home village for her funeral.

The film is almost purely a mood piece and Vũ is very understated letting the images and situations wash over him, the 'action' such as it is is minimal. From an acting stand point the best parts are with Vũ and Thịnh, the two have great chemistry and the familial connection comes through, but this isn't a film about a single, childless uncle stepping up to be a surrogate parent. After Đạo is placed at a school Thiện searches for his brother through a series of vignettes and these are more poetry than narrative.

The production design is immaculate, with rich patient visuals, a superb and meditative sound design, and an inspired sound mix. There's an impressive one-shot where Thiện and Đạo go to visit a Vietnam War vet who weaves burial shrouds that is up there for best scene of the year.

If there is a criticism it is simply that the film is too long. At three hours the impeccable and transportive lowkey tone simply loses steam in the third hour, its too precarious and understated to maintain for that duration. The film raises a lot of questions and does so in a subtle, evocative way, but it very deliberately has no answers so its not as if the extended run time is building to some crescendo or conclusion. As a result it feels like it sort of peters out.

A powerful and effective work of slow cinema, but perhaps a tad too slow.

Currently available to rent on most VOD platforms.

See It.

He is risen indeed

I stopped walking

with the Man Jesus

long ago

but my understanding

of the book

as written

is that he died

for the sins of humanity

full stop

no qualifications, no requirements

Hell is closed, Heaven only

for those souls thereafter

regardless of belief

or background

the perversion of this gift

is Christianity's biggest grift.

The Reality

We're all the same
and all Gods are real
end of discussion

The Bones Of Ymir

Before the beginning
there was the void,
the world of fire,
and the world of ice.
Where the three met
there formed the first being, Ymir.

Then came the gods, the Aesir.
Odin, their leader, and his brothers slew Ymir.

From Ymir's flesh they made the earth,
from the blood the sea,
from the hair the trees,
from the skull the sky,
and from the bones the mountains.
Thus the world was made.

Walking through this silent plain
I cannot help but give thanks
to that primordial giant
on whose flesh I tread
and on whose bones I gaze
in veneration.

Faith

to me
belief
is easier
than unbelief
Gaia and Odin
spirits and ghosts
more probable
more compelling
than bleak
infantile
nihilism

Odin

One Eye
All Father
by nature fallible
yet powerful
far-seeing
long-reaching
and worthy
of worship.

Give me the gods
in all their might
and folly
over cold
omnipotence
so easily perverted
by human whim
omniscience
subsumed
by man's corrupt ambition.

Give me the gods
who's message is
in story, song,
and allegory
not explicit rules
writ in stone
faultless
to be weaponized
for mankind's subjugation
of his fellow.

Give me Odin
who hung himself
on the World Tree
as sacrifice
not for judgement
or sin
but wisdom
for himself
and we, the folk.

'First Reformed' A Review

First Reformed is a religious drama about the reclusive Reverend Toller(Ethan Hawk), the pastor at the historical First Reformed church. One of his parishioners, Mary(Amanda Seyfried), asks him to counsel her disturbed husband who harbors radical environmentalist beliefs. This encounter sends Toller towards a spiritual and existential crisis.

Hawk puts in a solid, steady, confident performance really shinning in the moments of spiritual and moral discussion with the other characters. The numerous scenes he has alone, contemplative, are effective if not as electric. Seyfried is adequate but the character is mostly a blank, a sounding board for Toller with little actual individual dimension. The vaguness of the part pairs well with Seyfried's glassy acting style but ultimately the role is mostly irrelevant. Cedric Kyles(aka Cedric The Entertainer) as the local mega church pastor who employs Toller is excellent, magnetic in this atypically understated role. The supporting cast are sufficient but they are redundant to a degree as Toller's internal journey is the focus.

The cinematography is moody, dark, and stunning. In a truncated aspect ratio the film mirrors the psychological isolation and bleakness of its lead. The score also compliments the action with a gothic foreboding. There is a sense, throughout, of impending doom. The story takes it's time, is almost meditative, but culminates in an ending that is both over-the-top(at least in what we've seen leading up to it) and disappointing in its ambiguity. It's not that the film doesn't have a streak of contemplation and invite you to draw your own conclusions but it does veer into hard magical realism in the last ten minutes which feels, at best, unearned. It seems the message revealed is, ultimately, Man's impotence. After a thrilling journey this is kind of dull and feels false.

Thought-provoking and darkly inspiring with a somewhat flat conclusion. Of special interest to those with a spiritual practice.

See It.

'Silence' A Review

Silence is a historical drama based on the novel of the same name. Portuguese Padres Rodrigues(Andrew Garfield) and Garupe(Adam Driver) set off to find out the fate of their mentor Ferreira (Liam Neeson) who has disappeared in 17th century Japan after the Japanese government has started to prosecute Christians. After getting to Japan they minister to small villages in secret but are eventually discovered and captured by the Grand Inquisitor(Issey Ogata).

Garfield, never terribly magnetic, translates his natural default petulance into this character with little success. It's unclear if he is suppose to be compelling or sympathetic, or what we are suppose to think or feel about him at all, but the result is a portrait of a self righteous naive rather boring young man. Driver is much more adept in bringing some depth to the relatively flat character but is shuffled off screen before he has an opportunity to do much. The two also implement truly bizarre and distracting accents which are more reminiscent of high school kids doing "upper class" than the period and country they're intending to evoke. Neeson, who essentially has only one scene, is stalwart and captivating as always, doesn't bothering with whatever pseudo european dialect the others are attempting and is stronger for it. Although he is only in the film for a couple minutes he has one of the strongest presence, putting feeling into the one actual open discussion of faith which the film engages in. The other strong presence, and essentially the savior of the film, is Ogata who gives depth, humor, menace, and logic to his character. Basically the only character in the film with any nuance, that evokes any actual interest. The Japanese townsfolk who interact most directly with the Padres and who are then persecuted are all played with an over the top fawning eagerness that is confusing and feels disingenuous if not straight up exploitive.

Visually the film is beautiful, we can expect, at least, wonderful cinematography from any Scorsese picture. But that aside Silence is mostly an abject, and boring, failure. For a film seemingly explicitly about faith and spirituality it says little about it. For a film seemingly about culture clash it says little about the East or the West. For a film seemingly about history it provides little to no context for the action taking place. For a film that seemingly believes it has a point or message it is utterly lost. Perhaps for a very small population of suspended Catholics this film may offer some margin of interest but anyone else will be caught in its dull morass.

The latest in a series Scorsese pictures that are all proficiency with no substance.

Don't See It.

Unbelief

For most of my life I was an agnostic. I was raised Lutheran but that system of belief and faith never really penetrated beyond the superficial. As I've gotten older, through the course of living and some specific experiences, I've come to believe in something greater, something beyond the physical explainable world. Although I don't practice any religion or believe in any of their major systems of belief I now have a spiritual dimension to my life that I didn't have previously.

What I've come to discover after actively believing in nothing then actively believing in something is that unbelief requires just as much effort as belief. That faith demands the same attention as doubt. The practice of spirituality requires some sort of action be it prayer, meditation, what have you, so does skepticism and that can look like declarations of unbelief i.e. "I don't believe in anything" "I don't know" "I don't believe or disbelieve" or the more nebulous energy it takes to maintain a worldview that is unsupported by any spiritual dimension i.e. nothing happens for a reason, man is the only arbiter of circumstance and is only effected by external(economic, social, political) forces.

Not to say one is right or wrong simply that both are choices and necessitate similar levels of energy to maintain. Certainly belief in something and some kind of spiritual practice appears to demand more because you are, most likely, engaging in some kind of routine or ritual. But the more vague unbelief also requires thought, time, and consideration relating, justifying, explaining, and rationalizing the physical world.

For me belief has been much more productive and enlightening than unbelief. I can now move through life with some assurance and grace, can handle aggravating or overwhelming experiences or situations with some level of patience, have recourse and action I can take when I feel irritable or unbalanced. When I believed in nothing I was frequently at the whim of outside forces, my mood and my happiness dependent upon external validation and affirmation, because of that I was frequently prey to fear and anger. The world can be cruel and isolating when you rely solely on it for comfort and growth.

Spirituality and worship do not have to follow one of the prescribed religions. It can take any form, be totally personal, defined and outlined only by your personal conception. Regardless of what it is I suggest belief is more beneficial than unbelief, allows for not only contentment but transformation.

Mandala

"I saw that everything, all paths I had been following, all steps I had taken, were leading back to a single point — namely, to the mid-point. It became increasingly plain to me that the mandala is the centre. It is the exponent of all paths. It is the path to the centre, to individuation. I knew that in finding the mandala as an expression of the self I had attained what was for me the ultimate."- C. G. Jung

"Each person’s life is like a mandala – a vast, limitless circle. We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear and think forms the mandala of our life. Each person’s life is like a mandala – a vast, limitless circle. We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear and think forms the mandala of our life."- Pema Chodron

"The continual stream of new discovery, revelation and inspiration which arises at every moment is the manifestation of our clarity. We should learn to see everyday life as mandala - the luminous fringes of experience which radiate spontaneously from the empty nature of our being. The aspects of our mandala are the day-to-day objects of our life experience moving in the dance or play of the universe. By this symbolism the inner teacher reveals the profound and ultimate significance of being. Therefore we should be natural and spontaneous, accepting and learning from everything. This enables us to see the ironic and amusing side of events that usually irritate us."- Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

The Wellness Institute Presents: Health Gala! A Celebration of Astral Healing

Tonight Nicole and I went to the CIC Halloween show, an interactive high-concept theatre experience. The audience members were welcomed to the "wellness retreat", separated into groups of three, given masks and a card with various symbols on it which corresponded to different stations throughout the theater. All the actors were dressed in white and had scars on their faces. It was very immersive. While people went through the various stations, which were unsettling in and of themselves, there were ongoing "scenes" in the space, yelling and screaming from various rooms. The night culminated in someone being indoctrinated into the cult.

My favorite station was the one where we were taught a chant. It was very affecting, even though I knew it was all pretense it was oddly convincing, the "wellness institute" held a bizarre allure.

I submit.
I give myself unto it.
I willingly receive
and it comes.

Lakefront Visits

I've been spending a lot of time at the lake recently. An hour or two each day reading and soaking in the calm of the water. The patience and endurance of the lapping waves.

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”  -Bruce Lee

"In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of God or spiritual-type thing to worship- be it J.C. or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things- if they are where you tap real meaning in life- then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already- it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power- you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart- you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on." -David Foster Wallace

An Offering of Sweat

Ascending the mountain the sun is hotter, brighter- burning,
the occasional shade from the fragrant pines offer a necessary relief.
The sheer stone cliffs remote yet magnanimous,
and those few brave flowers struggle up from the indifferent soil.

The peak, stolid and silent, accepts those worthy pilgrims with open arms.
Granting solace but no solution.

It is not hard to fathom bygone tribes worshiping its quiet grace-
honors, prayers, venerations to this colossal alter of stone.
In our fumbling pretentious way, we worship still,
offering reverence with our recreation.

The massive rock stands distant, inviting.
Unwavering, unchanging, and still.

The Norns

I have a grandmother, a mother, and a sister.
As do we all.
One who spins, one who measures, and one who cuts.
Who weave the threads of fate.
Three arcane women behind the curtain.
They see far, hear much, and say little.
Some say they determine.
Others, they simply know.
Nonetheless they are always lurking.
The maiden, the matron, and the crone.

Graffiti 162

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." -Richard Dawkins

"I talk about the gods, I am an atheist. But I am an artist too, and therefore a liar. Distrust everything I say. I am telling the truth." -Ursula K. Le Guin

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" -Quentin Crisp

Time and Tide

I find the waxing and waning of the moon comforting. The rising and setting of the sun. The blustery breath of the wind. The cold, the dark of deep night. Those large looming cosmic things implicit in our day-to-day.

If there are forces governing those things massive and monumental it's possible there's equal influence guiding the small and inconsequential. Everyone on an orbit, gliding through space and time.

Purpose

I like to think everyone has a purpose.
Some small, some big.
Some broad, some narrow.
Some event that we are building toward or destined for.
Some calling, some gift, fated to be utilized.
Inherent potential in every spirit.

It may be a fleeting moment with unseen far-reaching repercussions.
Or a noble life of quiet service.
A talent cultivated and presented.
A skill practiced with perfection.
Kindness unrestricted.
Or friendship freely given.

Although it may be hidden it brings me comfort.
To think of purpose, place, and potential.
Something meant to be.

When I imagine what lies beyond I don't think of a cosmic bearded man.
The chains of his Divine Plan.
I imagine those Fated Sisters spinning.
Weaving, measuring, then clipping.
In each thread a purpose.
A secret burning ember.

Graffiti 132

stop praying...God's too busy

I've been encountering this idea of a distant and neglectful God a lot recently. Craig just gave me the comic book series Preacher, which I loved, and I've been an avid fan of the Sandman Slim series since Matt gave me the first book two years back.

I don't believe in a Christian God. My concept of a higher power is much more personal. I get the inevitable backlash against some omnipotent and omniscient male figure pulling strings for millennia especially since the idea has been made impersonal through franchising. What I never understood was the idea of needing a  priest or pastor as a conduit of contact for that universal presence. Why does this person have a closer relationship to God, whatever the conception, than I do? The way I see it they don't. Pastors or priests may be better suited to listen, be supportive, guide, and provide advise but they don't have the ear of the divine anymore than anyone else.

I think the important thing is to, spiritually speaking, cut your own path. Free from dogma, obligation, and tired ceremony. Engage in something personal and fruitful. Either with an established religion or some form of original worship. Faith is freeing, simple loyalty can be static

"God and Nature first made us what we are, and then out of our own created genius we make ourselves what we want to be. Follow always that great law. Let the sky and God be our limit and Eternity our measurement." -Marcus Garvey