A Lesson I Learned After Mildly Irritating New Acquaintances For Years

Do not shorten

someone's name
unsolicited

always Michael

not Mike

always Megan

not Meg

unless Mike says so

unless Meg says so

undue familiarity

is not appreciated

'The Shrouds' A Review

The Shrouds is a drama with elements of body horror about a businessman Karsh(Vincent Cassel) who's grief over the death of his wife Becca(Diane Kruger) caused him to obsess over her dead body such that he invented a shroud to watch her decompose through a screen on her gravestone and via an app GraveTech, which he commodifies into a business for other mourners.

Cassel is awkward, uncompelling, and one-note. He's not bad as a heavy but he ain't a leading man, at least he's not pulling it off here. Kruger is much better, playing the deceased wife, her sister, and voicing Karsh's digital assistant but the issue really is the script which is both overly complicated and profoundly boring, like a sad pathetic boomer's meditation on their impending death as well as their child-like technological misunderstanding.

Writer/director David Cronenberg recently said he doesn't find the theatrical experience "all that great" and that certainly shows here both in the uninspired dull screenplay as well as the flat, washed out, lethargic cinematography, with a movie like this David I don't want to watch it in a theater or otherwise! Cronenberg has always been inconsistent and like many of his lauded contemporaries he shouldn't write: Cosmopolis -shit, Maps To The Stars- great. Thematically The Shrouds is so confused and dumb, misogynistic and small-minded, it postures at depth and provocation but ultimately is pompous, anemic, and facile.

Worst of the year contender.

Currently in theaters.

Don't See It.

Michael Jordan Is The Greatest Basketball Player Of All Time Period

 Enough said.

'Havoc' A Review

Havoc is an action crime movie about Patrick(Tom Hardy) a cop who's under the thumb of a local real estate developer and mayoral candidate Lawrence(Forest Whitaker). When Lawrence's son Charlie(Justin Cornwell) gets involved in a convoluted drug deal hijack gone wrong Patrick is called in to find and protect him battling other corrupt cops, Charlie's little gang, and a baffling army of Triads on the way.

Hardy is the only one really believable or interesting in the cast, he's unquestionably a Star and his natural gravitas and commitment go a long way to make this movie somewhat palatable. The rest of the cast, whose talent is not in question, really struggle to bring any sense of reality, fun, or thrill to the overly complicated and quite frankly boring plot as well as the absolutely leaden script.

Visually the movie is pretty frustrating, it opens with some extended CGI car chases that look straight out of Grand Theft Auto on top of tons of CGI muzzle flashes and blood spurts as the fight scenes ramp up. The fight choreography seems competent but its frequently hard to distinguish given the camera movement and the characters are so lifeless it's virtually impossible to care who lives and who dies. The movie was shot in writer/director Gareth Evans home country of Wales(his stated purpose was to bring money back to his home, good for him) but incongruously set in a nameless crime ridden US city(presumably NYC or Chicago) and as a result almost all the exteriors are CGI'd and all the interiors don't look appropriate. All in all it's a mess.

Another in Netflix's long line of stunningly flat, underbaked, over produced action flicks.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Don't See It.

Lie By Omission

The cowards tool

gutless this

tactic

to void

just

responsibility

'Sinners' A Review

Sinners is a period horror film set in 1932 Mississippi about twins Smoke & Stack(Michael B. Jordan) who return to their home town, after serving in WWI and working for the mob in Chicago, to open a juke joint. They gather local musicians, their cousin Sammie(Miles Caton) and hometown legend Delta Slim(Delroy Lindo), as well as old friends and old flames to help with the grand opening.

Jordan, following in the footsteps of many A-listers, gives his first double role and does so with nuance, energy, heart, and contagious assurity. He's a stellar anchor and beating heart in a stand-out cast in a ambitious kaleidoscopic film. He's always had talent but hasn't really had that much room in which to stretch since Black Panther so it's such a treat here to see him really soar. The supporting cast is absolutely stacked- Lindo(a national treasure), newcomer Canton(primarily a musician), Wunmi Mosaku as Annie(Smoke's wife, who steals every scene she's in), Omar Miller as Cornbread, Li Jun Li as Grace, Jack O'Connell as Remmick the heavy(who hasn't had a role that popped stateside since 2013's Starred Up and really goes for it here), Hailee Steinfeld as Mary(Stack's ex, also doing some of her best work in years) and on and on. All in all the cast just works seamlessly together creating this world and bringing the story to life, each with their moments to shine, all clearly committed to the singular vision and focused on, above all, translating a vibrant and electric humanity.

Visually the film is beautiful, rich and evocative with a grace and deliberation to the way the camera moves that is seldom found in a genre picture. The costuming is immaculate and pitch perfect but it's the score and soundtrack where the film really ascends. The score is thrilling, ever-present, and transportive and the diegetic performances are transcendent, one being a shoe-in for scene-of-the-year. Thematically the film is packed with allusions and allegory about race, art, love, ambition, grief, community, you name it. The plot, especially when the vampire element really ramps up, becomes a bit over stuffed and complicated but that doesn't really detract. The ambition and the ecstatic joy of it all is so apparent, so compelling, any structural narrative messiness is rendered irrelevant.

An infectious, occasionally transcendent, film brimming with confidence and vision. The best soundtrack since O' Brother Where Art Thou? and a glorious return by writer/director Ryan Coogler to non-franchise filmmaking.

Currently in theaters.

Don't Miss It.

'Secret Mall Apartment' A Review

Secret Mall Apartment is a documentary about Providence, RI artist Michael Townsend that uses the titular 'project' as a casual focus point. Through talking head interviews, archival footage, and footage shot by Townsend his art practice, within the mall and without, is explored.

The title is kind of a misnomer as this is very much a portrait of an artist, the other 7 artists that worked with Townsend during this period on various projects don't say much and aren't featured much(which is a shame). Some of the ideas in the film are interesting, the SMA and how the group put it together is cool. But as a whole there seems to be little no point or thesis, the film meanders and flits from subject to subject- municipal history, urban development, gentrification, commercialism, art- but never settles on any. There's no real insight or analysis from the participants and Townsend is overly featured and seems incapable of any kind of self reflection. He's an interesting subject, charming and driven but clearly single-minded, obsessive, and selfish but director Jeremy Workman seems overly enamored by him and there's no attempt at really delving into his character or motivations, the feeling is very much only 'wow, isn't this cool? how cool is this!' which makes the 90 minute run time seem long.

There are some other undeveloped threads that irk- white privilege generally, RISD and its socioeconomic position, Townsend's relationship with his "team" who are all significantly younger, former students, and 'work' for him for free. Some of this is feinted at but not really interrogated. The one person of color, a city official, featured in the film says towards the end basically "who cares?" and that's certainly a valid question the film struggles to answer.

The secret mall apartment is a cool story, there's a good movie in here, but as is it feels like a shallow fluff piece that postures at profound.

Currently in theaters.

Stream It.