ISU

Every new higher education attendee
has to grapple with disappointment
or at least a level of cognitive dissonance

squaring the reality

with the collegiate utopias portrayed in media

I was no different

it was a harsh adjustment

the biggest culture shock

the most horrifying surprise

was being in an environment

with kids who came from money

their entitlement

their obtuseness

their unwarranted confidence

was alien, off-putting in the extreme

and in fact these people, despite their privilege

were less interesting, less talented, less knowledgeable

than anyone I went to high school with

I learned more about race, class, and culture

more about actually living in my hometown

than I did at this institution purported to be the gateway to adulthood

not to say Rockford was some egalitarian paradise

but I went to school with white, black, and brown kids of all kinds

Jews, Muslims, Christians, Hindus, and a few obligatory wannabe Wiccans

poor, working, and middle class, but no actual rich kids

there simply weren't that many in the community and those few that were

surprising no one, didn't send their kids to public school

and this exposure had opened up my perspective to certain realities

back to college

the theatre department of which I was a part, in particular

had this air of casual affluence that I found not only incomprehensible

but enraging

it was clear I did not belong and I did not want to

I struggled

but even though I would describe my collegiate experience as negative

this crucible fostered and solidified in me a distrust for the wealthy

codified my perception and understanding of socio-economic disparity

and on which part of the divide I stood and intended to remain

so perhaps

it did prepare me, shape me, teach me, come to define me

even if the method

was the stick not the carrot

even if the lessons

had nothing to do with academics

in hindsight

I'm grateful for it.