'No One Will Save You' A Review

No One Will Save You is a scifi horror movie, home invasion by way of alien invasion. Brynn(Kaitlyn Dever) is a seamstress who lives alone in a small town and is outcast from her community, one night she is awoken by an intruder and she fights to survive.

Dever is a solid lead and its nice to see her get the time and space to really flex as she is, in essence, the only real character in the whole movie. She is constrained by one of the movies conceits however which is that there is only 5 words of dialogue. Similar to All Is Lost this doesn't really add anything particularly meaningful to the story, the situations are effective in-and-of-themselves to ratchet up tension, and it in fact detracts as pretty quickly it becomes obvious this is a script decision not a character one, its not believable she wouldn't talk to herself at all, part of why Castaway is good is because Hanks sparse dialogue when he is marooned brings us into his head. The same with this years Inside it is the most human thing in the world to talk to oneself or to at least vocalize in someway. Dever navigates this lay on well but more dialogue or even voice over would serve to more effectively flush out her character and give weight to Brynn's backstory which is kind of clunkily inserted.

The production is excellent writer/director Brian Duffield knows how to put together a well crafted genre flick, it looks good, the locations are spot on, the score is eerie and relentlessly builds, and the alien design is truly spectacular and well thought out. This is another straight-to-streaming feature that should have been released in theaters especially with Halloween fast approaching, its a mid-budget solid piece of work that has the potential to have really caught on and would have easily made decent box office regardless, get your heads outta your asses studio heads!

A relatively minimal, forceful, propulsive genre flick perfect for the spooky season, if somewhat muddled in its human element.

Currently streaming on Hulu.

Rent It.

Sometimes Its Hard

My wife and I were watching this docuseries Wrestlers
(great, would recommend)

and the main guy, Al Snow, says at one point

talking about the prospects of his wrestling company

"No one's going to eat a shit sandwich on this but me."

and he ain't wrong, sometimes its your turn

and no one ever tells you that

your parents don't tell you that

your teachers don't tell you that

no one tells you until you've already figured it out

that sometimes life is hard

that's it

full stop

sometimes its just tough

there's no magic bullet

there's no quick fix

there's no get-out-of-jail free

you just gotta muscle down

open wide

and eat the shit

'Dumb Money' A Review

Dumb Money is a biographical dramedy about the 2021 GameStop short squeeze. Keith Gill(Paul Dano) is a financial advisor and recreational youtuber who makes vids about GameStop stock which he has heavily invested in. Other retail traders connected through Reddit bring on the short squeeze in opposition to various hedge funds who have shorted GameStop.

The cast is stacked with talent and celebs, to run down a few- Dano is wonderfully gentle and moral as Gill, Sebastian Stan and Vincent D'Onofrio(as rich start up guy and rich hedge fund guy respectively) both give really specific funny performances. But the rest don't have much to do, this isn't a movie about people this is a movie, ultimately, about the stock market and it has little interest in actual humanity. The rest of the cast come and go through scenes but have little in the way of actual dimension or personality(no fault of the actors).

Sharply made with lots of time jumps, quick edits, and text on screen - The Big Short meets the The Social Network but derivative of those and equally focused not on people or narrative but recent historic financial instances. It's a bizarre focus to make a feature about and shows, along with the recent glut of movies about products(Air, Blackberry, The Beanie Bubble) that Hollywood is adrift, aimless, when it comes to understanding what we, regular folks, want to watch. This movie is fine, Dano's pretty great in it actually, but this isn't entertaining enough or interesting or moving enough to be really great. The attempted commentary on class is, quite frankly, insulting. It's much more interested in getting the titular dumb money to get involved in the stock market than telling a compelling story about the working or middle class. All these corporate movies are fine but they're never going to make a splash, they are never going to be hits because they've forgotten what good stories(and therefore good films) are about. People.

An inoffensive waste of time and talent.

Currently in theaters, coming soon to VOD.

Stream It.

'The Equalizer 3' A Review

The Equalizer 3 is an action movie, the 3rd installment in the Denzel Washington led Antoine Fuqua directed series. Robert McCall(Washington) returns this time in Italy. He gets wounded in the course of one his job and is nursed back to health in a small costal town. As he befriends the locals and acclimates to the locale problems arise when Camorra(mafia) members attempt to put the squeeze on the townsfolk. Sounds like that's a situation that needs to get Equalized!

Washington is one of our last great movie stars so, needless to say, he's great here. He's funny, he's badass, and his honestly way odder and more idiosyncratic than he has been as McCall previously. There's way more small embellishments, way more almost non-sequitur micro moments. It's a lot of fun. It's great to see him and Dakota Fanning together again, her as a CIA operative, twentyish years after the incredible Man On Fire. Although Fanning's role doesn't amount to much beyond a scene or two. The supporting cast, especially the townsfolk, are all great although the Camorra heavies are a little thinly drawn(and portrayed). All in all its a solid cast.

Visually its slick, with Fuqua's typical penchant for action, edits, and heavy(effective) scoring. Italy looks wonderful. The fight scenes, somewhat limited by Washington's age, are thrilling if a bit more sparse than in the previous films. Fuqua knows how to make a solid popcorn flick- it looks good, its paced well, Washington is showcased- its not amazing but its entertaining.

Currently in theaters, coming soon to VOD.

Rent It.

What Is Art

I work in insurance
which is stereotypical in its dryness

in its uniformity

in its corporatization

which is not unjust

but even so

in the execution of my duties

there is a beauty in faultlessly executed documentation

nuance and language working together in a logical fashion

to demonstrate intent, to codify utility

yes, fundamentally, this is a cut-and-try exchange

of goods-and-services, and yet

if done with integrity, if done with expertise

with a purity of motive

the process is not only professional but creative

and the result goes beyond a contract, goes beyond simple product

in it there is artistry

because it is in everything, because it is not the thing itself

it is how a thing is done and who is doing it and what that person puts into it

in anything that requires effort 

there is the mark of humanity behind it.

'The Pope's Exorcist' A Review

The Pope's Exorcist is a horror movie about the titular Father Gabriele Amorth(Russell Crowe) and follows the case of a possessed boy at a former monastery in Spain.

Crowe is absolutely having a ball here, he brings gravitas, humor, and that undeniable movie star quality to this, quite frankly, mid-to-low-tier exorcism flick. He singlehandled brings the movie up to something not only watchable and entertaining but kind of unique. Not to say the supporting cast are all duds, they're all serviceable, but having a vet with Crowe's undiminished star power and his glee in the role makes it really fun.

Its shot proficiently, the action/scare sequences are well done, gory and surprising. The plot clips along, framed in an almost detective/espionage type of procedural(clearly angling for this to be a franchise), it just works. There's not a lot to it, what you see is what you get, but anchored by a truly incredible Crowe this B-level horror flick has got a fair amount of juice.

Surprisingly funny, decent scares, and a clear propulsive(if not totally original) story it rises above this years middle-of-the-pack horror offerings with ease. Perfect watch going into the Fall.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Rent It.

Saying The Thing

At the Sox game
a special place for us
my dad said
"I should have helped you with baseball more"
I said
"Naw, baseball was never my game"
he said
"I was kind of an absentee father"
I said
"Yeah. Sometimes."

'Fremont' A Review

Fremont is a drama about Afghan refugee Donya(Anaita Wali Zada), a former translator living in Fremont a city outside San Francisco. Donya works at a small fortune cookie factory in SF with her friend Joanna(Hilda Schmelling), goes to sessions with her therapist Dr. Anthony(Gregg Turkington), and searches for companionship while grappling with insomnia and survivors guilt.

Zada holds the center of the film with a grace and melancholic wistfulness, not doing a lot overtly but through situation and presence conveying a lot. Turkington is the best he's ever been towing the line between comedy and authenticity, he's surprisingly(for him) emotionally connected and compassionate in the role which is a real surprise and treat. Schmelling serves a very necessary function and the character is fun and relatable with a stand out karaoke scene. Jeremy Allen White has what amounts to an extended cameo but he too brings a gentleness and gravitas the film needs. Eddie Tang as Donya's boss is also wonderful and has a couple really fun engaging monologues. All the supporting cast, at times, convey their dialogue in a somewhat stilted manner, there's an affect. Whether its intent is one to underscore Zada's isolation as a refugee or as a comedic choice it works and functions to give the film more style, more identity.

Shot in a rich, striking monochrome with a boxy aspect ratio, on location in Fremont the film has a vibrant, thrumming life to it. The plot isn't much to speak of, more slice-of-life, and as a result the breezy narrative is able to convey its complicated themes with an ease and beauty that is effecting but never not thoughtful, and never long without some absurd or pointed humor. There is a wryness and hopefulness that comes through along with the solitude and searching. Similar to Jim Jarmusch in aesthetic and in content(thinking of my beloved Paterson specifically). It's a triumph in indie filmmaking and a film that speaks directly and poignantly to the America we live in today.

A must see. A definitive counterpoint to those claiming that the days of cinema are numbered.

Currently in theaters, coming soon to VOD.

Don't Miss It.

'They Cloned Tyrone' A Review

They Cloned Tyrone is a scifi comedy about Fontaine(John Boyega) a drug dealer in a suburban neighborhood called The Glen. After seemingly surviving a fatal shooting Fontaine enlists pimp Slick(Jamie Foxx) and sex worker Yo-Yo(Teyonah Parris) to help investigate. What they uncover is a conspiracy that extends way beyond The Glen.

Boyega is wonderful and totally assured in his multiple roles, he's always been a talent but as his career has matured he's turned into a full blown movie star. His ease on screen is a delight and he's able to ground and center the movie in a crucial way that allows the comedy and the genre stuff around him to really land. Foxx and Parris are having a lot more fun, playing broader more loquacious characters, and they're great. The three have great chemistry and navigate the tricky Blaxploitation come They Live tone perfectly.

Visually the film is rich and dark, full of neon and fog, juxtaposed with the bleakness of a depressed neighborhood. The soundtrack is infectious and weaves in consistently but mostly subtlety to further heightened the tone. Clearly inspired by Us and Sorry To Bother You as well as 80's John Carpenter the film is a riff on a couple things we've seen before but is not derivative. The humor, the commentary(not always clear or effective but certainly evocative), the well paced plotting, it all works together into something fresh and fun that makes you think. 

A unqiue tone and an incredible main trio make for an energetic film kind of wasted straight-to-streaming.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

See It.

The Feels

A lesson I learned the hard way
the way many good lessons are learned

through struggle, through mistakes

was to feel my feelings

to accept them

move through them

fear, anger, anxiety

these things must be felt

but they need not dictate terms

sit in the driver seat 

and decide direction and destination

but they most be acknowledged, understood

not one of us is immune to fear

but it passes as all things must

that is the lesson hard won.

'Bottoms' A Review

Bottoms is a high school comedy about PJ(Rachel Sennott) and Josie(Ayo Edebiri) two lesbian high school rejects who start a women's fight club in an effort to hook up two of the cheerleaders.

The cast is an impressive list of tomorrow's who's-who Sennott and Edebiri are unarguably up-and-coming powerhouse talents, its great to see Ruby Cruz as Hazel in a role a bit more fun and weird than her decent but mainstream turn in the Willow show, Havana Rose Liu, Kaia Gerber, they're all great but they aren't given much to do or much in the way of actual character. A lot of the performances amount to simply hitting marks and saying lines and as a result the overall impact is lessoned whether the intent be comedic or commentary.

Tonally the movie is wildly inconsistent, in some ways its absurdly, astronomically, over-the-top in the realm of Not Another Teen Movie style parody, in others it attempts to be a grounded emotional dramedy, its bizarre and although some sequences are great(the ending fight scene in particular) the wild modulation of what it is and its focus on plotting rather than story or character leaves it, in total, as pretty anemic. It's impactful for its representation and for the talent of the cast who will, without a doubt, make big Hollywood waves in the years to come but in and of itself its not particularly funny or raunchy and seems unsure of what it actually wants to say or be. 

An intriguing premise and excellent cast are mostly overshadowed by a relentless conventional plot.

Currently in theaters, coming soon to VOD.

Stream It.

Renn Faire

I return
and in returning

am I reminded

of what this place meant

to the preteen chubby nerd

who first came here

the wonder and belonging

it offered, the balm

and that feeling of acceptance

is undiminished

I am once again

renewed

'The Last Voyage Of The Demeter' A Review

The Last Voyage Of The Demeter is a period horror movie based on a chapter in Bram Stoker's Dracula. The movie opens with constables investigating the wrecked Demeter on the British shoreline, it then flashes back to show its voyage from Bulgaria and what happened.

The cast is solid particularly the bigger names Corey Hawkins as Clemens the defacto ships doctor, Liam Cunningham as Captain Elliot, and David Dastmalchian as Wojchek the first mate. They all give grounded dimensional performances and the mood and pacing work build and gain momentum expertly.

Visually the film is moody and dark and rich, its impressive, the kills gruesome, the monster grotesque. It works. Especially as a creature feature. But perhaps because the story holds little surprises, not only because of how well known the source material is but because the movie itself foreshadows it, there's not much to lock into other than the horror/action. There's no real time to get invested much in any of the characters emotionally or for them to develop. What you're left with is a gorgeous looking B level horror flick. It succeeds in that but can't quite go beyond it.

Entertaining and effective but a little thin.

Currently available for rent on most VOD platforms.

Rent It.