A couple days ago I talked to a guy who had relapsed after six years because of a break up. Six years is a long time and relapsing doesn't take anything away from him. It's a new start and that's ok. Maybe just what he needed. He said something that I thought was telling: "I had the girlfriend, I had the job, I had it all..." and when one of those things went away he drank. Happiness is a volatile, elusive thing. Sometimes it's taken away so fast we don't know how to cope. Those times you need to be grateful for what you have and lean on those people that are close.
I started thinking about it and I think there is this false idea a lot of people have. That having the right life will make them happy. This idea that:
If I was engaged I'd be happy.
If I was married I'd be happy.
If I had a kid I'd be happy.
If I liked my job I'd be happy.
If I got paid more I'd be happy.
If I got hired by Second City I'd be happy.
If I had tickets to the twelve course tasting menu at Next I'd be happy.
If I had a Prius I'd be happy.
If I was in shape I'd be happy.
If I got more sleep I'd be happy.
If I lived in a warmer climate I'd be happy.
And sure once you get those things you might be happy. But what happens when those things are taken away? Why not be happy with the life you have now? It's great to have goals or things you want to do but sacrificing the present because you're looking towards the future is unhealthy.
We all need to be grateful for what we have. Live in the moment. And find happiness where we can. Find balance, so when something bad happens we don't fall.
We just stumble.
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