From A Friend
The only reason someone would use a bullshit buzzword to describe a situation in which someone else is not attracted to them sexually or romantically but enjoys their friendship, is if they felt entitled to that individual's love/sex/what have you. Or maybe if they don't like themselves enough to be okay when someone doesn't want to fuck them or date them.... so they have to make up excuses.The concept of being "friendzoned" is absurd. What extra bothers me about this is that it's typically gendered. We tell women "he's just not that into you." We tell men, "awhhhh dude bro, you got friendzooooned. all those hours of actting liiike a guud persson 'n' listening n pretennding to care about anything but thaat puss = LOST, dude." or "aaaaaah you got FRIENDZONED!!! "THEY" never like the nice guys! Nice guys finish last! What a dumb bitch!"
Friendzoning isn't a thing. The men I'm friends with? I didn't pursue sexually because I didn't want to. My feelings for them manifested in a Platonic way. If one of my male friends tried to change our relationship, and I said, oh no, dude, we're friends, I have not "friendzoned" them. I've clearly defined the thing I feel and the relationship we have. If a male friend's friendship with me was a ruse to try to get inside my vagina? That friend is a fucking asshole, and not a friend really.
In short, you didn't get friendzoned, you're just not attractive to that person. Deal with it. Find your league. Be less of an entitled, whiny, creep, and maybe a woman will like you.
"Find your league"? I think i'm much more likely to take ridiculous, self-important, pseudo-feminist bullshit like this seriously if the writer doesn't call a hypothetical person "entitled" before saying that she is part of a "league" that is unattainable. This is post-feminist reaching/over-reaction, besides being book-store-open-mic-"empowerment"-stand-up pablum at it's worst and most pretentious, and I want to Friendzone this moron's Jezebel account.
ReplyDeleteNow, can someone please call me names and marginalize me? Or perhaps condescend to me?
My reaction is not as strong as Jimmy's, but I was bothered by this when the writer first posted it. My problem is that it presupposes the hypothetical man was pretending to be a friend with the ulterior motive of getting sex, which is a vast oversimplification. Having been on the losing side of unrequited love, as we all have, that's such a crass and cynical view of the situation. Being friend-zoned hurts because you have feelings for that person, feelings that go beyond friendship and are more than just lust. It's the desire to be with that person, perhaps to fall in love with that person. When that is denied, it's more than just being rejected for making a pass at someone. You can dislike the term all you want, but don't pretend to know what is in that other person's heart.
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