Fear of Flying

Visiting with some friends over the weekend I found out that a couple of them were afraid of flying. Like it really bothered them and they had all these particular things they did to get through it, had tried sitting all over the plane, different rituals, in order to make it bearable. Which is all well and good, but ultimately I think its kind of silly if not totally irrelevant, along with most fears or phobias.

What is fear of flying really about, control and death, both tangled up together. One is illusion, the other is an inevitability. I've written about this stuff relatively frequently so I won't belabor the point. But it bears repeating control is an illusion. Life is spontaneous, varied, and mercurial. Anything, good and bad, can happen at any time. Wondrous discoveries as well as accidents or hardships. And that's OK, that's just how it is. Accepting that can bring a lot more happiness then the constant striving for, but never attaining, of control. As far as death, we all know we will die some day, but we all have various ways we deal(or don't) with it. For me its something I've accepted, I don't worry about it, try to live each day as it comes on its own merits. For other people it can be a more immediate or pressing concern depending on the situation.

Now here's the thing. After talking with my friends I got the sense that there is perhaps some benefit to being afraid to fly, to phobias/fear in general. That it in turn gives a person more drive, more ambition, more momentum. That if you are pursued by this or that fear with the looming specter of death hanging over you, you may get more done. It, inversely, provides urgency. Provides, perhaps, the potential for more relish, more variation.

After letting go(for the most part) the idea of external control and accepting(for the most part) death as inevitable I found myself(generally) calm and content. And its a great feeling. I now have a sense of comfort in my own skin that I didn't have for a long time, an ease with life.  Relaxed and capable in most any situation or place I find myself. However. There's a fine line between calm and complacent, between satisfaction and inaction. And perhaps fear, although mostly unpleasant, can be a motivator, a clarifier. Something to disrupt pleasant tedium.

I don't fear flying but perhaps it has its benefits.