JJ

You gave me rides in your Ford Pinto
and I made you tye-dye shirts
we'd hike and smoke
drink and wrestle
talk life, love, and ambition
there was that period
you were training for the Olympics
and teaching yourself piano
while I was a shiftless college student.

We'd spend hours
at the ping-pong table
and walking through the forest
conversation and silence
equally comfortable
but time passed
I moved and became consumed
in the pursuit of liquor
and you with existential dread.

At one point, you reached out
clearly struggling
looking for a life line
and I
in the throes of self-destruction
and self-interest
blew you off
effectively closing the door
on our decade old friendship.

Time passed
and we both emerged
from our respective darkness
me, sober
and you, in med school
I hope you are well my friend
our bond of fellowship
was balm and inspiration both
it's influence will never fade.

I'm sorry
I was not there for you
I tell myself
at the time
I was incapable
which perhaps is true
but that does not mean
I forget
the debt I owe to you.