"I love you"

There was a time
when I use to pour myself
from a bottle of Jim Beam
isolated, lonely, and desperate.
Any woman
who showed me
a modicum of interest
or affection
I would drunkenly
proclaim my love for
in hopes it would fill
my emptiness,
bring order
to my chaos,
mend my
brokenness,
to no ones surprise
it never did.

Sober now
I'm mostly whole
and at peace
available to to give love
and receive it.
I met a woman
who is partner, lover,
and best friend
with whom I have
an emotional
symbiosis
I no longer take and take and take
and can say "I love you"
with conviction
know it's depth
and implication
no longer a ploy
or forlorn pronouncement
but real, sincere, and understood.