For Every Action

Buy the ticket
take the ride

You reap

what you sow

What goes around

comes around

This is all to say

Actions

have consequences

A simple fact

hard to remember

hard to contend with

the ramifications, the fallout

'The Fantastic Four: First Steps' A Review

The Fantastic Four: First Steps is a superhero movie set in an alternate technologically advanced 1960's, the latest entry in the MCU, refreshingly more of a standalone installment. In a brief opening montage(packaged as a talk show clip) the origin story of the foursome is set up, effectively and efficiently, another pleasant surprise not spending the first movie on that part of their story. The movie kicks off with the Silver Surfer(Julia Garner) announcing the approach of Galactus(Ralph Ineson) and Earth's doom. Reed Richards(Pedro Pascal), Sue Storm(Vanessa Kirby), Johnny Storm(Joseph Quinn), and Ben Grimm(Ebon Moss-Bachrach) aren't gonna take that lying down!

Pascal is maybe more understated and serious than we've ever seen him, it's actually kind of great to see this side of him, he's playing against type and it brings a new freshness to his appearance here. Kirby is a dynamo and brings much needed emotion, reality, and gravitas to, what can be, a silly franchise. Quinn doesn't get as much screen time but he continues to show he's got range and screen presence to spare. If there's a new British IT leading man it ain't Austin Butler or Jacob Elordi it should be this guy. Moss-Bachrach is given short shrift by the design of his character, I don't doubt he gave an inspired mo-cap but the clunkiness of the rendering made it extremely difficult to get any emotion or intent from The Thing, something they'll hopefully resolve in future appearances. The supporting cast is full of talent(but certainly notable another example of the encroachment of British actors playing Americans in American movies) but there's clearly been some relatively significant reshoots and edits, to what purpose I don't know but I suspect for pacing, as a result a lot of the side characters don't have much to do and seem like their stories were cut or truncated.

Visually the film is sleek, effective, and occasionally pretty inspired(aside from The Thing). The score is really incredible and very atypical of the MCU of late, it's orchestral and choral and uses the same repeated theme throughout, really potent and serves to give the movie a real identity of it's own. The pacing is break neck and the runtime hits the sweet spot with a couple intimate moments that really hit, if there's a fault it's just it would have nice to have just a bit more of those. With this and with Thunderbolts* it seems that Marvel is finally turning the ship, making compelling fun blockbuster movies, the goodwill they squandered the past several years may take a bit longer to snap back but they're on the right track.

A return to a winning formula for the MCU.

Currently in theaters.

See It.

'Happy Gilmore 2' A Review

Happy Gilmore 2 is a sports comedy a sequel to 1996's Happy Gilmore. After tragedy strikes Happy(Adam Sandler) gives up golf and limps along working at a grocery store trying to take care of his four sons and daughter. After his daughter gets in to a prestigious dance program Happy reluctantly returns to golf to make money for tuition.

Sandler returns to the role with surprising ease, bringing all the manic slapstick gags from the original but also an odd but effecting pathos, indicative of his whole career but particularly the last ten years where it seems he's been better able to balance his creative ambition and penchant for scatological. The tone is surprisingly dark but never not funny with emotional beats that hit alongside truly incredible Three Stooges level physical comedy. It's quite a feat. The supporting cast is absolutely stuffed and at a certain point it becomes a case of diminishing returns but it takes quite awhile to get to that point and a lot of the characters that pop up along the way are a real hoot. The big stand out though is the return of Christopher McDonald as Shooter McGavin, dude absolutely explodes onto the screen, relishing the broadness of the comedy and heights he can go to, it's really a treat to see.

The production has an authentic feel, relatively workman-like and understated, evoking the first film but updating it. The big inspiration, where the designers get to have some fun is in the Maxi Golf finale. The soundtrack works, costumes are effective with a couple characters being really fun and inspired. All-in-all it's kind of a clinic from director Kyle Newacheck and the Sandler team in how to do a legacy sequel, a genre that unfortunately doesn't seem to be going anywhere but that all Hollywood hasn't quite figured out yet. The theory is to do the same thing but different and they certainly achieve that here. It's a bit darker, it's more grown up, but the beats and the arc feel familiar and the humor is the same if not the jokes. And there's a certain amount of ecstatic joy about seeing Sandler return to the role, older, more grizzled, but still able to deliver.

For anyone that grew up with Happy Gilmore this is for you.

Currently streaming on Netflix(should have been released theatrically, Netflix continues there ill-advised strategy not to figure out some middle ground with exhibition, with this movie they're leaving hundreds of millions in box office on the table, no matter how you slice it bad for business, bad for creatives)

See It.

Counting Cash

It's a skill

however slight

however simple

a technique

facing

counting

banding

the bank teller

takes pride in it

in its performance

great satisfaction

an endangered ability

in our tap pay age

'The Old Guard 2' A Review

The Old Guard 2 is a sequel to 2020's The Old Guard an adaptation of the comic book series about a group of immortal warriors. Six months after the events of the first film the team continues to do covert action for the betterment of mankind but an even older immortal comes in to gum up the works.

The cast is full of talent but none of them are given anything much to do other than contort themselves to make the clunky, melodramatic, overly complicated, uncompelling, lore bloated and emotionally thin script make any degree of sense let alone be entertaining.

The production is almost categorically terrible from Charlize's baffling mullet wig to the harsh, amateurish lighting(reminiscent of 90's made-for-TV-movies), to the bizarre framing and camera set ups, to the clunky awkward fight choreography. Almost every aspect of the production is a failure. Unfortunately it doesn't qualify for so-bad-it's-good status because the tone is so incredibly serious. The whole endeavor is honestly confusing given how good the first movie was. It's not even bland enough to have on in the back ground while doing chores, it's that grating.

Without Gina Prince-Bythewood at the helm this burgeoning franchise sinks.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Don't See It.

The Heart Knows What The Heart Knows

The Great egret
took off
and flew
in all its majesty
then
dumped a large
gray white shit
on the lily pads below

it made me think of my wife
at the zoo
some years ago
she was delighted
by a camel's
protracted voluminous piss

anytime I see a wild animal

do their necessary

I am reminded of my love

and fall in love again

The Mississip'

The river
in its changeability
in its constant renewal
and yet its permanence
its ever-presence
reminds us
of the nature of life
the fluidity
that life requires
in visiting the river
reverencing it
however passively
are we renewed
enlivened
to continue

Best Movies Of The Year So Far

Top 10:

Black Bag

CHAOS: The Manson Murders

Eephus

Grand Theft Hamlet

Mickey 17

One Of Them Days

Predator: Killer of Killers

Sinners

Sly Lives! (aka The Burden of Black Genius)

Thunderbolts*

Worst Of The Year Contenders:

The Electric State

Kinda Pregnant

Pavements

The Shrouds

'Superman' A Review

Superman is a superhero movie, the second reboot of the Superman franchise and the first film in James Gunn's DCU. The movie begins in media res with some title cards setting the scene- Superman came to Earth 30 years ago, metahumans have existed for hundreds of years- and Superman is losing his first fight. Superman(David Corenswet) recently stopped a foreign war and is getting flack from the government and the public, this effort spearheaded by techno-baron Lex Luthor(Nicholas Hoult). There are other superheroes, pocket universes, metahuman prisons, comments on fascism and cancel culture the movie is brimming with ideas and easter eggs setting the stage for the character and where the DCU will go from here.

Corenswet is a great Superman and a decent Clark Kent, although his time in that persona is minimal. He balances the power, nobility, and humanity pitch perfectly and it'll be fun to see where he takes the character from here. The cast is jammed packed with talent mostly all of whom are putting in great work- Rachel Brosnahan as Lois Lane is edgy and tough and a great foil for Corenswet, Edi Gathegi as Mr. Terrific steals the movie for the time Superman is sidelined- funny and thrilling, Nathan Fillion as Green Lantern and Isabela Merced as Hawkgril also great, Skyler Gisondo as Jimmy Olsen surprisingly fun. The list goes on and on. The one off-note is Hoult who plays Luthor with a slathering one-dimensional fervor that just doesn't really jive with the tone of the movie or what the rest of the cast is doing.

Visually the film is colorful and intricate and compelling with a rousing score, great costumes, and just clearly so much loving care and attention taken with the production. The action scenes are all really effective and feel motivated by story rather than necessity. They help tell the story which is a function not always met with superhero movies. As the first entry in James Gunn tenure as head of the DCU that movie does include a lot of, if not set up then, necessary worldbuilding and this at times makes the movie feel a bit over-stuffed, sacrificing streamlining of this movie to launch a greater platform on which future movies and TV shows will be built. But even then that aspect is actually kind of exciting rather than a drag.

Above all fun. A quality sadly in short supply with summer blockbusters the last several years.

Currently in theaters.

See It.

My First Friend

Has passed
into the clearing
at the end of the path

by his own hand

We grew apart

some years ago

not through contention

only time and distance

I'm not naive enough

to believe

I could have effected

the outcome

But I wish

I wish I could have told him

he will live forever

in my secret heart

Watching Pee-wee's Big Adventure 

eating Pop-Ice

riding bikes and playing soccer

the easy, unfraught days of youth

Eternal

This Is Only True For Some

They say
ordered house, ordered mind
they say
home is where the heart is

they say

keep your house in order

when the house is cluttered

the mind is cluttered

order the house

clean what can be cleaned

and put things right

everything with its purpose

everything in its place

when the mind is cluttered

and the house is in order

go back and maintain that order

the maintenance of the house

the continuing, ongoing, never-ending need of the house

for your deliberate attention and labor

by this process, in its insatiable requirement and fulfillment

is the mind cleared

calmed

They say

keep the home fires burning

so that in returning there is warmth

and comfort

'Jurassic World Rebirth' A Review

Jurassic World Rebirth is a scifi action movie, the 7th in the Jurassic Park series. Dinosaurs as amusement park fodder have fallen out of fashion and have been dying off due to the modern incompatible climate. There are only survivors around the equator on isolated quarantined islands. A greedy pharmaceutical exec Martin(Rupert Friend) puts together a team- Zora(Scarlett Johansson), Duncan(Mahershala Ali), and Henry(Jonathan Bailey) to go in an extract DNA to fabricate a heart disease cure all. Sound derivative and overly complicated? Well there's also a family, with their own set of contrived back stories, sailing across the Atlantic on a self-made sail boat that gets attacked and joins up with the mercenary crew.

Johansson does what she can with her incongruous and clunky character but fails to bring much interest or life to it. Ali fairs better and skates mostly on his natural boundless charisma, it helps he's not incumbered with as much nonsensical backstory as Johansson's character. The rest of the cast range from mediocre to flat. Friend and Bailey continue Hollywood's increasing penchant for casting C-list brits to save on payroll and get what they pay for- boring performances and in the case of Bailey a terrible American accent.

Visually the film is at least compelling to look at and the score is effective but the creature design kinda misses the point. Dinosaurs are enough, cross-species splicing monsters turn this from Jurassic Park to kaiju territory. The problems though begins and ends with the script, kind of bizarre given screenwriter David Koepp wrote both this and one of 2025's best Black Bag. Although it isn't as craven, dumb, or ineffectual as the Jurassic World trilogy it misunderstands why Jurassic Park was a success and why people are still interested. It's too convoluted, too shallow, and too route to be anything other than a thin summer blockbuster destined to be forgotten after everyone streams it in six months while they fold laundry.

A vapid reheat of a beloved franchise driven into the ground by avarice.

Currently in theaters.

Don't See It.

'Shark Whisperer' A Review

Shark Whisperer is a documentary about free diver/social media personality Ocean Ramsey.

Similar to Netflix's documentary The Liver King this is not actually a documentary but a feature length commercial for the subject's social media channels. The tonal sycophancy is not surprising given the movie is directed by Ramsey's husband Juan Oliphant, who is featured as a subject as if he is not the director. The movie is billed as co-directed by James Reed of My Octopus Teacher  but his name does not actually appear on any official cast & crew lists for the project.

The shots of Ramsey swimming with sharks are cool and beautiful. Unfortunately that is the only credible, interesting, or believable part of the movie. It is quite transparent Ramsey & Oliphant's lively hood(which is affluent) is a result of their social media ad revenue, their merchandising, and their swim-with-sharks tours which every aspect of this movie promote while couching all of it as "conservation" and "education". The issue is no actual data is ever presented and no experts are featured to convey any context. Ramsey's bonafides and background are never discussed other than she started swimming with sharks at a young age. Through Ramsey's interviews she explicitly says she does not feel like a human being, her relationship with Oliphant appears uneven and co-dependent, and her glassy 100-mile stare and explicit confirmation of her not being able to express emotion imply an ocean of underlying issues, none of which are explored or even acknowledged within the movie.

This is just so transparently a hustle. So obviously an attempt at marketing. So perversely not about sharks or the environment but about personal recognition and personal wealth from two sick individuals attempting to sell the viewer a delusion they have convinced themselves of. Its offensive boarding on the grotesque. Compare this movie to one with a very similar subject, the more nuanced, thought-provoking  Grizzly Man and all the pretentions and posturing of Shark Whisperer crumble and reveal it for what it is a base, bastardized, violation of the creatures they profess to love in service to deluded avarice.

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Don't See It.

The Illusion Of Separateness

The function of communion
is not

the dissipation of sin

or even

the reverence of Christ

the function

is to remind us

that we are not separate beings

that we are, in fact, a part

of something greater, broader, and deeper

than we may sometimes feel

particularly in those times

of isolation and despair

when solitude and otherness plague us

the effect of the ritual

has very little to do with theology

the function

is to remind us

that we are together

that we are part

of a collective, a community

and if we are to take Christ at his words

that belonging

is not predicated upon fealty

that togetherness

is not limited

it is boundless

it is only restricted

by our willingness

by our own shortcomings

'The Ugly Stepsister' A Review

The Ugly Stepsister is a dark comedy/body horror an inversion/adaptation of Cinderella. After their new stepfather's untimely death all financial pressures of the family are put on Elvira(Lea Myren). Through Elvira's own self hatred and her mother Rebekka's(Ane Dahl Torp) prodding she subjects herself to increasing tortures and humiliations in order to become beautiful and compete for the Prince's affections with her conventionally attractive stepsister Agnes(Thea Sofie Loch Næss).

Myren gives a full-on, everything-she's-got performance, leaving it all on the screen. The performance is incredibly brave, vulnerable, and fully realized. The character, with her compromises and complicity, is complicated and Myren lays it all bare. Torp is effective and appealing as the severe and avarious evil stepmother and Loch Næss is good as the supporting Cinderella. The other stepsister Alma played by Flo Fagerli brings much needed contextualization and eccentricity to it. The rest of the supporting cast are all really effective save for the men who are, deliberately and justly, two dimensional.

Visually the film is brimming with style, the shot composition beautiful and meticulous. The body horror sequences pretty difficult to stomach(ie effective). And there's a really interesting blend of the pastoral and the grotesque. The score isn't quite as effective, plays a bit immature at times sounding a bit like stock scoring or 8-bit video game tracks. Overall though the production helmed by first time writer/director Emilie Blichfeldt is brimming with ambition and talent. Perhaps doesn't quite hit as hard coming just a year after The Substance which if a very different movie but goes after very similar themes. Where it falls a bit short is that it doesn't quite come together, ultimately isn't super potent, more idea and premise than effecting narrative.

Not quite equal to the sum of it's parts.

Currently available to rent on most VOD platforms.

Rent It.