Masking

No fault
to those

where it's necessity

but here in LA

it seems

it is simply

cultural norm

to deceive

to lie

to equivocate

to hedge

"we should hang out"

"lets see how we feel"

"lets collaborate"

obfuscation and artifice

as the standard mode

of communication

I may be

a simple midwestern man

with what some might see

as a lack of ambition

a lack of drive

no interest in power or position or perception

but

I'll say this for myself

with pride

I say what I mean and I mean what I say

Direct. Simple.

It seems to me

the better way.

Canter's

bread. meat. mustard. pickle.
simple.
perfect.
Sandwich.

Fellowship

I am grateful
for my friend's generosity and trust
to be welcomed, subsumed

however briefly

into his family's domesticity
however simple
for that is where life is
most of the time
the routines, the day-to-day
we wake up together
eat together, run errands
figure out logistics
and for a time I am apart of it
integral, intimate, entwined
its precious
and I take none of it for granted.

After The Rain

After the rain
the succulents are
ripe and jaunty
almost preening

the desert

for a time

lush with life

and movement

the hills

if not green

then full

swollen with a

fleeting bounty

A Better Vibe

I find I'm less resentful of LA
probably because this time
I'm not driving

Interrogation

This stranger asked me
"are you happy?"

and the answer is yes

but it is presumptuous

to ask the question

and he doesn't deserve any part

of my hard won joy

earned as it was

with time and trial and effort

even my confirmation

of its existence

I withheld

because I have seen

vampires like him before.

LA Visit

 Been in LA the past couple days to visit Jimmy and his family. Really wonderful, relaxing trip. I'd never much cared for LA before but this time tried to plan less, not have much of an agenda, and just go with the flow a bit more which worked out.

Street Food

I was more impressed
by the beef head taco
I ate on the street

leaning on a concrete divider

in front of the Target parking lot-

hands greasy, mouth tingling

the rotisserie al pastor glistening

the spiced meats smoking

the fresh tortillas being grilled

all under the make-shift tent-

than anything I have had

in an actual LA brick-and-mortar

I'll take offal

over avocado toast

any day.

How To Win Friends And Influence People

The key to conversation
and perhaps some aspect of charm

is to identify points of interest

areas of expertise

given how my new acquaintances

seriously discussed the validity

of Avatar 2

and didn't recognize the director James Mangold

I knew movies were out

but I got the impression these guys were foodies

or perceived themselves as such

so asked them the correct questions-

best donut, best pie, best diner-

to let them talk and debate

gave them space to feel knowledgeable

while I got more suggestions than I could possibly use

this is how you make a new contact feel good.

Graffiti 157

"I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it." -Bo Burnham

"Everybody is continuously connected to everybody else on Twitter, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Reddit, e-mailing, texting, faster and faster, with the flood of information jeopardizing meaning. Everybody's talking at once in a hypnotic, hyper din: the cocktail party from hell." -Maureen Dowd

"You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections - the presence you've spent years establishing on the world's dominant social network?" -Al Franken

"Despite our ever-connective technology, neither Skype nor Facebook - not even a telephone call - can come close to the joy of being with loved ones in person." -Marlo Thomas

Perpetual Summer

Perpetual summer
must effect
the mood

lackadaisical and loose
people stroll
through the perennial warmth

without the bleakness
of changing seasons
harsh reality seems distant

and dreams
nurtured over years
are made solid by the heat

illusion feeds ambition
bolstered by the warm suns rays
and everywhere contentment with no intent.

It cultivates a yearning for the bite of cold
the serrated edge of chill
the depth that comes with gloom.

Murals 4

Like Richmond, LA has a ton of murals decorating a lot of would-be-blank building space.

This was in an alley, virtually hidden from the street.

This was in a parking lot.

Such a casual acceptance of street art, its enviable.

The prevelance of murals and graffiti really make LA feel alive, evoke a sense of personality. If only all cities were as liberal with public art.

Graffiti 156: Los Angeles

There was a lot of cool graffiti all over LA. It is much more prevalent and kind of implicitly accepted than in Chicago or NYC.

Vampire Coffin.

Hairball Monster.

"Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome." -T. S. Eliot

"All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?" -Nicholas Johnson

Familiarity

Within forty-five minutes of arriving
I saw a Tim I knew
and it was good to see my friend
on the sunny streets of LA

but I discovered this place
held no strangeness for me
which was both comforting
and sad.

The Big Orange

Alex dropped me off at LAX a little after midnight so I could catch my 5am flight back to Chicago. A miscalculation on my part because I was unable to sleep at the airport or on the plane. Now, back home, I'm exhausted certainly worth it though. Some thoughts on the experience as a whole.

The best part of the vacation was spending time with Alex. We had been close since we went through classes together some years ago at iO, roommates for a year, but after that grew apart. Not for any particular reason just in the way people do as time moves on. Our old chemistry was still there, the inside jokes, the silly slang, it all came back quickly. We reminisced a bit during the visit but mostly just joked, enjoyed each others company, and told each other about our lives now. Shared our fears, triumphs, and plans. Reconnecting with Alex and discovering our friendship as solid as ever was easily the most fulfilling part of the trip. The second best thing was swimming in the Pacific, the third- tacos from El Flamin' Taco.

With so many people moving over the past year I couldn't help but view LA as a potential destination and a lot of people asked me if my visit was to scope it out. My reaction to LA was similar to that of NYC which was I could live there. Previous to my visit the concept of LA was daunting and I certainly suffered under the misconception that people there were shallow or self involved.  I found the city much more manageable then I had anticipated- the lay out of the different neighborhoods and suburbs made sense to me. There were a lot of cool bookstores, restaurants, and parks. The people, on the whole, were outgoing and approachable. I noticed eye-contact between strangers seemed to be normal which I found rather odd but kind of endearing. Taking all of those elements together I think I'd be capable of living there, that it wouldn't be too overwhelming or unwieldy. However I realized it wasn't terribly appealing for me without some kind of motivation- a job, an opportunity, a school.

The weather was beautiful, all that's said about LA weather is true, it's like forever summer. I found this kind of bizarre, the five days I was there it was cloudless and 80, unchanging. Without the shifting of the seasons, the mercurial movements of the weather, I would be lost. I mentioned how weird the perpetual sunshine was to me to one of Alex's friends and he agreed saying "When I'm happy it's great but when I'm depressed it's almost mocking, cruel." A nice environment to visit during the Midwestern cold but it'd drive me crazy if I had to live there.

The interpersonal climate was interesting and different. Alex called LA "a city of extroverts". There was something disarming about how chatty people were but it also made me a bit wary. Everyone seemed unilaterally content and either they genuinely were or there is a reticence to say anything other than "I'm great! I love it here!" Either way I'm accustomed to a little more edge. There's also an urgency about commercial success, a concern about auditions and managers, about meeting people and making connections, which at this point I don't share. Not to deride that mindset it strikes me as necessary to move forward but it seems grueling.

A wonderful place to visit but at this point not a path I want to tread.

Downtown LA

Alex, Caroline, and I explored downtown today. I suspect I'm making them do tourist type stuff they wouldn't normally do as actual residents.

On the way downtown I made them stop just so I could take this picture of the Scientology Center.

Something I've noticed in LA is the diversity. Not only all types of people but all those people mixed together. Highlights the rigid geographic segregation of Chicago.

One of the places I wanted to stop was The Last Book Store, one of the largest used book stores in the country. It was very cool, the store was enormous and they had furniture made out of books.

City Hall.

Downtown like the city at large is sprawling, doesn't seem to have much of a focal point, however there are a lot of fun murals.

We were all pretty worn out from walking around most of the afternoon so Alex and I napped while Caroline went to yoga.

In the evening I met Alex at Rafa's Lounge where there are two shows produced by former Chicago folks. There were a lot of friends and acquaintances there including Mark who was on my first harold team FireCup, I was hoping to see him on this trip and it was really wonderful to be able to reconnect with him. We hadn't talked in around three years and we picked up right where we left off. It's very refreshing and affirming to find a friendship undeteriorated by space and time. Mark is very direct, absurd, and darkly funny. So great to see him.

We didn't stick around too long because Alex had a show at iO. We got tacos from a food truck, the best meal I've had out here, maybe the best tacos I've ever had. He dropped me off and I went to bed early. I think I may have planned on doing a little too much without allotting time to rest.

Urban Hike

Today Alex and I walked around his neighborhood Los Feliz, down through Silver Lake, and ended in Echo Park. 

It was a beautiful sunny day, as I'm suspecting it is most of the time out here.

We walked by a lot of shops- some cool, some pretentious. The coffee places especially were very sleek and hip, not a drip coffee to be found. As we were walking by a particularly squat odd storefront Alex got roped into conversation with the guy who ran what turned out to be a vintage eyeglass frame store.

The Time Travel Mart had some fun kitsch for sale, after buying a shirt for Nicole the salesmen let me know it has a sister store in Chicago. The stores are supplements to the writing and tutoring classes they provide.

We relaxed for a bit at Echo Park which had some good people watching. One fifty year old man was awkwardly roller skating in cargo shorts.

The streets here are very lively and colorful, maybe a result of the weather.

Most houses had flowers or some kind of color in the yards. There were also a lot of murals around, something Chicago is pretty restrictive about. It all creates a very unique feeling, a laid-back comforting atmosphere.

Later in the evening we went out to eat with Joey before going to a screenplay reading of some of Alex's friends at UCB. The UCB complex reminded me a bit of the new iO- large and industrial feeling. We hung out there for a while then went to iO West.

So far the comedy and the comedy people here aren't that different, there is a sense of being focused a little more on marketability, on connections, a little less on experimentation. I think with the proximity of the industry and how much more attainable it feels out here that's understandable. Everyone I've met has been incredibly nice and open. The comedy community in general, both Chicago ex-pats and otherwise, have been very welcoming, it feels inclusive, certainly not what I was anticipating from the improv folks of Tinseltown.

La La Land

I flew to Los Angeles today to visit Alex and see the city. I've never been to the west coast before and am very excited to soak in the sights and the sun. One of the first things we did is hike up to the Griffith Observatory which is right behind Alex's house.

Griffith park is beautiful, a big sprawling patch of green in the middle of the city. Lots of panoramic views.

From the top you could see the Hollywood sign, cliche but still cool to see.

Everyone talks about how great the weather is but until I got here I didn't realize how pleasant and slightly bizarre perpetually sunny skies can be.

Although LA is in the midst of a drought most of the vegetation seemed relatively healthy. The hike was very meditative. It gave Alex and I a good amount of time to catch up and gave me a chance to gradually soak things in and adjust to the LA frequency.

Walking through Alex's neighborhood there were lots of flowers in bloom. Something I've been missing.

In the evening Alex, his girlfriend Caroline, and I went to a solo showcase that Alex's was performing in with a number of other Chicago folks. There's a huge former-Chicago contingent here in LA. It's great to see so many familiar faces and to be able to reconnect with some people I haven't seen in a while. It's comforting to see so many people I know, not only at the show but even walking around Alex's neighborhood. It makes it feel like I'm visiting a community I'm already a part of.