Endurance

Some days survival is a win.
When tasks
become challenges
become insurmountable barriers.
And every human is a leering
needy
petulant
bully.
When bones are replaced with thinly coiled steel wool
electrified by low voltage-
pulsing,
thrumming,
buzzing- never crossing the line
into outright pain
stress hovering incessantly around unpleasant.
When the mind is plagued by the what ifs
and the security of control becomes alluring
and although you constantly grasp for it,
wrestle with it,
it alludes you
leaving you more confounded than when you began.
When the clock is the master,
slicing the day into not enough.
And every breath is tainted with the stink of unmet responsibility.
On those days the goal is simply to get through it.
To stay in the moment, to live every hour, every minute of those bad days.
To get in bed after its all over and say "I tried"
not even "I tried my best" because those days have no room for best.
On those days it is all struggle, all defeat.
On those days
Survival is a victory.

And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.