Resurface

The past couple weeks I've felt a bit down for no particular reason. The past couple days the blues have kind of faded, again for no particular reason. Like surfacing after a long swim or waking from a protracted slumber.

When you're in a rut its the simple things that get you out. Going outside, talking to people, listening to people, doing those basic things that bring you joy. Curbing expectations, both externally and internally, to mitigate stress. Life is its own ever-changing malleable force that can't be shaped or controlled to correspond with personal rigidity or desire. The ongoing realization of this fact can be difficult. The balance between personal contentment and external circumstance can be hard to find. It's a process.

I've found my job has been giving me some anxiety recently. It's a different situation than I'm use to where projects aren't completed in a day and can languish for days, even weeks waiting to hear back from this person or that person, waiting on this document or that confirmation. It's taken some effort, and continues to, to realign my perspective and adjust to the situation. To provide my best effort and still leave work at work regardless of how many things are left unresolved. I've made progress and its been a relief, allows for feeling a lot better all around.

Taking action is vital for change, whether its physical or psychological or some combination of the two. We cannot dictate our environment but we can give our actions and reactions direction and purpose, we can move through the world with some measure of grace if we choose to.

"This happiness consisted of nothing else but the harmony of the few things around me with my own existence." -Herman Hesse