FireCup had a show at the Playground Wedensday night. I was walking around the block a couple times to kill time before the show. I hate getting to places too early and going into them alone. I walked passed the L&L Tavern on Clark- a relatively well known dive bar. As I was walking by three friends came out to have a cigarette.
Smoker#1(male): Can I ask you a personal question?
Smoker#2(male): Yeah, man, of course.
Smoker#1: Does your dick ever go numb?
Smoker#3(female): ...
Smoker#2: Ummm...?
Smoker#1: You know like if you lay on it wrong when you're sleeping and...?
Smoker#3: He's asking you if your dick ever goes to sleep.
Smoker#2: I don't think so...most of the time, when I'm sleeping, its the opposite.
Smoker#3: ...(judgmental stare)...
Smoker#1: I swear its not just me.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Steve's Guide To A Sucessful Wedding Experience
Matt and Katie, the day of. Photo credit to HO.1. Don't be the drunk one. There always seems to be one or two people at a wedding who are way too drunk, so a couple steps to not be that person. Don't pre-game, there's no reason to. Regulate your intake until all pre-planned parts of the wedding are over with i.e. speeches, first dance, cutting the cake etc. After all that is done go to town, just don't put yourself in a position where either the bride or groom has to do damage control. Remember, it's their day.
2. Dance. Older folks and kids will usually start off the dancing so there's no pressure to get the dancing going early on in the reception. But at some point you need to get out there and dance. If you think you can't dance, newsflash, you can, if you're not comfortable dancing post-up by a friend who is and they will ease you in, if you need to just copy what they're doing. The bride and groom want to feel like they're having a successful reception, nothing says successful reception like a packed dance floor. Dancing is fun.
3. Keep your emotions in check. It's ok and expected to get teared up during the ceremony and when the bride dances with her father. But over the top displays of emotion pull focus from the people who the event is really about, the bride and groom. We're all really happy for them but throwing a lot of emotion at a couple who is probably stressed, tired, hungry, and overwhelmed is not helpful. Give them a big hug and tell them you love them. No tears.
4. Save a slow dance for the single folks. Lonesome George can pop up pretty easily at weddings. If you see a single person looking lonely in a corner ask them to slow dance, you were once alone, it's not fun.
5. Hook-Up. Weddings are a real aphrodisiac. Grab a special someone, pull them close, and kiss.
6. Do what they tell you. Do whatever the bride and groom want you to do. You're there first and foremost to make their day special and go the way they want it to. Your enjoyment is secondary.
Feel free to comment on past, present and future posts.
2. Dance. Older folks and kids will usually start off the dancing so there's no pressure to get the dancing going early on in the reception. But at some point you need to get out there and dance. If you think you can't dance, newsflash, you can, if you're not comfortable dancing post-up by a friend who is and they will ease you in, if you need to just copy what they're doing. The bride and groom want to feel like they're having a successful reception, nothing says successful reception like a packed dance floor. Dancing is fun.
3. Keep your emotions in check. It's ok and expected to get teared up during the ceremony and when the bride dances with her father. But over the top displays of emotion pull focus from the people who the event is really about, the bride and groom. We're all really happy for them but throwing a lot of emotion at a couple who is probably stressed, tired, hungry, and overwhelmed is not helpful. Give them a big hug and tell them you love them. No tears.
4. Save a slow dance for the single folks. Lonesome George can pop up pretty easily at weddings. If you see a single person looking lonely in a corner ask them to slow dance, you were once alone, it's not fun.
5. Hook-Up. Weddings are a real aphrodisiac. Grab a special someone, pull them close, and kiss.
6. Do what they tell you. Do whatever the bride and groom want you to do. You're there first and foremost to make their day special and go the way they want it to. Your enjoyment is secondary.
Feel free to comment on past, present and future posts.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
'I'm Still Here' A Review
Subtitle: Joaquin Does Dylan
('I'm Still Here' Graffiti on Grand Ave.)
('I'm Still Here' Graffiti on Grand Ave.)I really enjoyed 'I'm Still Here.' I think Roger Ebert said it best so I'll just quote him "If Joaquin Phoenix is acting, it's the best acting he's ever done." Initially I think it started as a pre-planned thing then as time progressed and Joaquin got deeper and deeper in it he lost his dome and actually became that 'character.' When I was watching the movie I was struck by this feeling of familiarity, after thinking about it I realized it reminded me alot of the Bob Dylan documentary 'Don't Look Back.' They both investigate celebrity and the leads seem to be playing heightened versions of themselves. Both come off as self-centered and irritating. I think Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix watched 'Don't Look Back' and decided to do an updated actor version with the same 'fuck you' attitude. Mocking the idea of celebrity while totally indulging in it by making a movie investigating it. What's interesting is that scenes from 'Don't Look Back' were transcribed and used in the movie 'I'm Not There' which had a bunch of different people play Bob Dylan. 'I'm Not There' of course is an inverted version of 'I'm Still Here.' Casey Affleck came out today and said that it was a hoax. He also repeatedly said it wasn't. At this point it's subjective. The truth of if it was fake or not doesn't matter and at this point can't be verified. So what if Casey says it was a hoax at this point, maybe he's embarrassed or the movie didn't do as well as he thought so he's trying a different marketing strategy. What matters is the movie going experience. Go see it. What do you think? Also see 'Don't Look Back.' I have a copy if you want to borrow it. If you watch 'Don't Look Back' and 'I'm Still Here' back to back you'll think
Joaquin Phoenix is channeling 1965 Bob Dylan.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
A Fable About Shame
There comes a certain point in a wolf cubs life where he has to leave his den.
He may be tentative about leaving.
He may not want to leave.
But at a certain point if he has not left his parents push him out of the den.
He ventures out and becomes comfortable with the world.
He has no notion of what the outside world is so he is not afraid of it.
He explores freely and enjoys the freedom outside the den.
He hunts, fishes, mates and grows strong.
But he's still a cub.
He learns as much as he can but there are still things he does not know.
He is open to mistakes because he does not know fear or caution.
He has no restrictions because he has no need of them.
One day the wolf cub encounters a bear fishing by a creek.
That is my creek! Thinks the wolf cub.
The wolf cub attacks. He does not know bears, has never seen one.
He is filled with the confidence of youth.
The bear bats the wolf cub aside like a stray horse fly.
The wolf cub's ribs are cracked and blood is matted in his fur.
He slumps back to his den.
His parents lick his wounds and leave him be.
He sits and does not leave his den.
The wounds are one thing, his injured pride is another.
How, he asks himself, could I have been so stupid? So blind to my own danger?
He does not want to leave the den, does not want to show his tail to the other wolves.
But time heals all wounds.
When he is well again the wolf cub tentatively ventures out of the den.
He goes slowly at first, but only at first, now he knows pain, danger.
He is cunning.
At some point he has become a wolf.
He has a scar but fur has overgrown it.
Caution, friend.
Do Not Forget.
He may be tentative about leaving.
He may not want to leave.
But at a certain point if he has not left his parents push him out of the den.
He ventures out and becomes comfortable with the world.
He has no notion of what the outside world is so he is not afraid of it.
He explores freely and enjoys the freedom outside the den.
He hunts, fishes, mates and grows strong.
But he's still a cub.
He learns as much as he can but there are still things he does not know.
He is open to mistakes because he does not know fear or caution.
He has no restrictions because he has no need of them.
One day the wolf cub encounters a bear fishing by a creek.
That is my creek! Thinks the wolf cub.
The wolf cub attacks. He does not know bears, has never seen one.
He is filled with the confidence of youth.
The bear bats the wolf cub aside like a stray horse fly.
The wolf cub's ribs are cracked and blood is matted in his fur.
He slumps back to his den.
His parents lick his wounds and leave him be.
He sits and does not leave his den.
The wounds are one thing, his injured pride is another.
How, he asks himself, could I have been so stupid? So blind to my own danger?
He does not want to leave the den, does not want to show his tail to the other wolves.
But time heals all wounds.
When he is well again the wolf cub tentatively ventures out of the den.
He goes slowly at first, but only at first, now he knows pain, danger.
He is cunning.
At some point he has become a wolf.
He has a scar but fur has overgrown it.
Caution, friend.
Do Not Forget.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
'Kick-Ass' A Review
The only reason I enjoyed 'Kick-Ass' is Nicolas Cage. The idea is that a normal kid takes it into his head to be a superhero with no special powers just a desire to help the common man. But he's also dealing with normal high school type issues and girl problems etc. etc. Little does Kick-Ass know that there are two other actual superhero's out there really making a difference- Big Daddy(Cage) and Hit Girl, they don't have powers either just superior training. BD and HG are taking revenge on a crime boss who broke down their family unit. They meet up and the story goes from there. My main problem with this, similar to 'The Last Song,' is that the main character isn't likable.
(Spoilers Ahead)
Kick-Ass is the problem with 'Kick-Ass.' There's lengthy digressions into his high school social life that seem pointless, he never really succeeds in a fight, and there is this horrible subplot where he pretends to be gay to get a girl, bleck. The character is pathetic, he gets into 'crime fighting' because he's single and doesn't have a hobby. I'd much rather see the film 'Big Daddy and Hit Girl'. Cage steals the show, he's mesmerizing to watch, and easily worth the price of admission. Through his few scenes he builds a comprehensive narrative, you can identify with him, and you want to see what he's going to do. Favorite Scenes.
"How to take a Bullet."- At the top there's a scene in a vacant lot where Big Daddy is teaching Hit Girl how to take a bullet with a vest on. Cage plays it so straight, so soft, so loving. After she gets up after the first shot you can see the pride in his eyes and they go out for ice cream.
"Warehouse Showdown."- Cage's only action sequence is about half way through the film. It takes place in a warehouse right before the gangsters trap Kick-Ass. The scene is gripping. The action only takes 30 seconds. The scene in total takes 58 seconds. The choreography is poetic. There's a mix of guns, knife play and Kung Fu. Cage moves through the scene with such an economy of movement, such purpose and clarity it evokes a visceral response. It's done in only one shot which follows Cage through the entire warehouse as he kills every man in it. The inspired yet totalitarian costume and the way Cage handles himself make you really believe that he's a real man doing extraordinary things. And that's the best part of the movie, when the movie really works is when you get a sense of real heroism.
"The Betrayal."- Kick-Ass inadvertently set Big Daddy and Hit Girl up. Hit Girl is sitting in the window when the betrayal takes place and gets shot out of the window while Big Daddy and Kick-Ass are captured. We know she's alive, its a call back to the earlier training scene. The bad guys thing she's dead. We know she's coming. Its a good feeling. That small scene at the beginning brings us in on it.
"The Death of Big Daddy."- This is my favorite scene of the movie. I thought it was moving. I know thats weird cause it's an action sequence but yeah. I'm going to describe it. The scene opens Kick-Ass and Big Daddy are strapped to chairs in a gloomy garage being beat up. It's being broadcast on the Internet so every character in the movie so far is watching. "Kerosene. Yes. The silent killer." henchmen pours kerosene on our hero's. "And this for all you Cavemen out there is Fire!" flicks Zippo "Fire is good. Fire is our friend. Gentlemen. Time to Die." Gunshot, lights go out. Hit Girl attacks and starts to kill the gangsters. In the ensuing blackness someone lights Cage on fire. Hit Girl gets flustered and as he burns alive Cage begins to shout instructions.
"SWITCH TO KRYPTONITE!" Cage is grinning, and burning, and you can tell he's proud of this little girl, unleashing his revenge upon the world. He conveys this manic happiness as she uses different gun fighting techniques and gadgets to kill a room full of men. "TAKE COVER CHILE!" all through the movie he calls his daughter 'child' but in this last frenetic moment he develops this New Orleans lilt. Inspired Cage. "NOW ROBIN'S REVENGE!" and in this moment he invokes the quinsential sidekick to finish the job. Hit Girl extinguishes the flames with her cape, looks in the camera and says "Shows over Motherfuckers." and shoots it. And again you get the sense that a twelve year old Olympic gymnast who had lots and lots of weapons training could have pulled it off.
For my money the movie should have ended there. The rest is Corney, campy, reference heavy and of course Kick-Ass comes into save the day with a Jet pack. Boo. The movie was good, it could have been great. The interesting parts were left unexamined while the obvious parts we explored to tedium.
I'm not interested in a teenage angst subplot.
Especially if most teenagers can't get into the movie without their parents.
(Spoilers Ahead)
Kick-Ass is the problem with 'Kick-Ass.' There's lengthy digressions into his high school social life that seem pointless, he never really succeeds in a fight, and there is this horrible subplot where he pretends to be gay to get a girl, bleck. The character is pathetic, he gets into 'crime fighting' because he's single and doesn't have a hobby. I'd much rather see the film 'Big Daddy and Hit Girl'. Cage steals the show, he's mesmerizing to watch, and easily worth the price of admission. Through his few scenes he builds a comprehensive narrative, you can identify with him, and you want to see what he's going to do. Favorite Scenes.
"How to take a Bullet."- At the top there's a scene in a vacant lot where Big Daddy is teaching Hit Girl how to take a bullet with a vest on. Cage plays it so straight, so soft, so loving. After she gets up after the first shot you can see the pride in his eyes and they go out for ice cream.
"Warehouse Showdown."- Cage's only action sequence is about half way through the film. It takes place in a warehouse right before the gangsters trap Kick-Ass. The scene is gripping. The action only takes 30 seconds. The scene in total takes 58 seconds. The choreography is poetic. There's a mix of guns, knife play and Kung Fu. Cage moves through the scene with such an economy of movement, such purpose and clarity it evokes a visceral response. It's done in only one shot which follows Cage through the entire warehouse as he kills every man in it. The inspired yet totalitarian costume and the way Cage handles himself make you really believe that he's a real man doing extraordinary things. And that's the best part of the movie, when the movie really works is when you get a sense of real heroism.
"The Betrayal."- Kick-Ass inadvertently set Big Daddy and Hit Girl up. Hit Girl is sitting in the window when the betrayal takes place and gets shot out of the window while Big Daddy and Kick-Ass are captured. We know she's alive, its a call back to the earlier training scene. The bad guys thing she's dead. We know she's coming. Its a good feeling. That small scene at the beginning brings us in on it.
"The Death of Big Daddy."- This is my favorite scene of the movie. I thought it was moving. I know thats weird cause it's an action sequence but yeah. I'm going to describe it. The scene opens Kick-Ass and Big Daddy are strapped to chairs in a gloomy garage being beat up. It's being broadcast on the Internet so every character in the movie so far is watching. "Kerosene. Yes. The silent killer." henchmen pours kerosene on our hero's. "And this for all you Cavemen out there is Fire!" flicks Zippo "Fire is good. Fire is our friend. Gentlemen. Time to Die." Gunshot, lights go out. Hit Girl attacks and starts to kill the gangsters. In the ensuing blackness someone lights Cage on fire. Hit Girl gets flustered and as he burns alive Cage begins to shout instructions.
"SWITCH TO KRYPTONITE!" Cage is grinning, and burning, and you can tell he's proud of this little girl, unleashing his revenge upon the world. He conveys this manic happiness as she uses different gun fighting techniques and gadgets to kill a room full of men. "TAKE COVER CHILE!" all through the movie he calls his daughter 'child' but in this last frenetic moment he develops this New Orleans lilt. Inspired Cage. "NOW ROBIN'S REVENGE!" and in this moment he invokes the quinsential sidekick to finish the job. Hit Girl extinguishes the flames with her cape, looks in the camera and says "Shows over Motherfuckers." and shoots it. And again you get the sense that a twelve year old Olympic gymnast who had lots and lots of weapons training could have pulled it off.
For my money the movie should have ended there. The rest is Corney, campy, reference heavy and of course Kick-Ass comes into save the day with a Jet pack. Boo. The movie was good, it could have been great. The interesting parts were left unexamined while the obvious parts we explored to tedium.
I'm not interested in a teenage angst subplot.
Especially if most teenagers can't get into the movie without their parents.
Monday, August 23, 2010
'The Last Song' A Review
'The Last Song' is a Nicholas Sparks adaptation starring Miley Cyrus. I'll say first off I didn't intend to see this movie, it was Devo's pick. But I'm secure enough to say that I enjoyed watching it and enjoy movies that fall into the genre "chick flick" or "romantic comedy." For example I love the movies 'American Sweethearts' and '10 Things I Hate About You.' And I also want to say before I get to deep into describing and critiquing the plot that I'll see anything. There is no movie in the history of movies that I wouldn't pay ten bucks to see in the theatre if someone or possibly no one influenced me to go. I hated 'Transformers' I didn't like the TV show and I didn't like the theatrical version. Adam and I went to 'Transformers 2' on opening night. What I mean is I love movies and find enjoyment out of almost all movies. I can enjoy watching almost anything. There are somethings which I'd never see again like 'Blindness' which is unarguably the worst movie I've ever seen. But I watched the whole thing. You get the idea.
(Spoilers on The Last Song to follow)
'The Last Song' opens on the very classic generic type scene mom dropping kids off for the summer with dad. Parents are divorced, kids live in New York with mom, dad moved back to small town in Georgia after the divorce. My first problem- you never find out what town it is and you never find out what the parents do for a living. It appears their dad is a well respected member of the community who is retired at 45, can play the piano, make stained glass windows, but has no discernible income. So Miley plays the main character "Ronnie" who is a piano wizard(which they never really let you know, your just suppose to infer) but she gave up playing to spite her father when he moved out of New York. She's 18 and about to turn down the Julliard school of music. Needless to say she's super angsty. She meets a local guy(surprise!) who through the course of the film wins her heart. Their interactions are kind of ok to watch but the contrived plot devices detract. For example a local girl tells Ronnie 'he does this to all the girls' and she flips out and tries to break it off. Overall the movie is very predictable. When Ronnie and Will(said guy) start to really bond is over a sea turtles nest that Ronnie saves. I would say that was the best scene of the movie, the actors don't really talk and the turtles crawl out of the sand and into the sea. After this scene Greg Kinnear, the dad, collapses because (surprise!) he's sick with cancer and just wanted to spend some time with his kids before he died.
Oh yeah turns out Will is a rich kid with baggage so all the stupid stereotypes follow that. Domineering parents, Ronnie not being well bred enough etc. etc. Big Problem #2- they're suppose to be in Georgia on the coast, no one has an accent, not one single person. There's a montage of Ronnie and her dad spending time together, he dies during her playing his 'last song' and she plays it at his funeral. Will and Ronnie get back together in the end. Credits. Ok. I'd give this movie a 5/10. The plot was very predictable but thats ok sometimes we like predictable. We like the idea of girl meets guy, they fall in love, have problems, get back together. Or like estranged father tries to reconnect with children. We like those story lines because we can identify with them on a very basic storytelling level. What I hated most of all, the biggest problem with the movie as I saw it, you guessed it- Miley Cyrus. My number one thing in fiction(movies, TV etc.) is that the main character has to be likable. Miley Cyrus not only is a bad actress but when she found the character Ronnie she wasn't likable. She had no charm, wasn't interesting, I had no idea why Will supposedly the cool guy in town would be interested. She's sullen, combative, mean, reserved, rude, immature, irresponsible, unreasonable I mean I could go on and on. She flys off the handle multiple times with her Dad and Will for virtually no or very illogical reasons. Obviously her dad has to love her and yeah he's dying but any other guy...
Why make the effort?
(Spoilers on The Last Song to follow)
'The Last Song' opens on the very classic generic type scene mom dropping kids off for the summer with dad. Parents are divorced, kids live in New York with mom, dad moved back to small town in Georgia after the divorce. My first problem- you never find out what town it is and you never find out what the parents do for a living. It appears their dad is a well respected member of the community who is retired at 45, can play the piano, make stained glass windows, but has no discernible income. So Miley plays the main character "Ronnie" who is a piano wizard(which they never really let you know, your just suppose to infer) but she gave up playing to spite her father when he moved out of New York. She's 18 and about to turn down the Julliard school of music. Needless to say she's super angsty. She meets a local guy(surprise!) who through the course of the film wins her heart. Their interactions are kind of ok to watch but the contrived plot devices detract. For example a local girl tells Ronnie 'he does this to all the girls' and she flips out and tries to break it off. Overall the movie is very predictable. When Ronnie and Will(said guy) start to really bond is over a sea turtles nest that Ronnie saves. I would say that was the best scene of the movie, the actors don't really talk and the turtles crawl out of the sand and into the sea. After this scene Greg Kinnear, the dad, collapses because (surprise!) he's sick with cancer and just wanted to spend some time with his kids before he died.
Oh yeah turns out Will is a rich kid with baggage so all the stupid stereotypes follow that. Domineering parents, Ronnie not being well bred enough etc. etc. Big Problem #2- they're suppose to be in Georgia on the coast, no one has an accent, not one single person. There's a montage of Ronnie and her dad spending time together, he dies during her playing his 'last song' and she plays it at his funeral. Will and Ronnie get back together in the end. Credits. Ok. I'd give this movie a 5/10. The plot was very predictable but thats ok sometimes we like predictable. We like the idea of girl meets guy, they fall in love, have problems, get back together. Or like estranged father tries to reconnect with children. We like those story lines because we can identify with them on a very basic storytelling level. What I hated most of all, the biggest problem with the movie as I saw it, you guessed it- Miley Cyrus. My number one thing in fiction(movies, TV etc.) is that the main character has to be likable. Miley Cyrus not only is a bad actress but when she found the character Ronnie she wasn't likable. She had no charm, wasn't interesting, I had no idea why Will supposedly the cool guy in town would be interested. She's sullen, combative, mean, reserved, rude, immature, irresponsible, unreasonable I mean I could go on and on. She flys off the handle multiple times with her Dad and Will for virtually no or very illogical reasons. Obviously her dad has to love her and yeah he's dying but any other guy...
Why make the effort?
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Steve's Top 5 Movies Of 2009
Top 5:
Pandorum
Moon
Tysen
The Cove
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Top 5 Disappointments:
Where the Wild Things Are
Crazy Heart
Away We Go
Public Enemies
The Hangover
Most Overrated: UP
Honorable Mention: Good Hair
Pandorum
Moon
Tysen
The Cove
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Top 5 Disappointments:
Where the Wild Things Are
Crazy Heart
Away We Go
Public Enemies
The Hangover
Most Overrated: UP
Honorable Mention: Good Hair
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