Tonight I read a story as one of the openers for Triplets Bogtrotter. It's a wonderful imaginative show that should be seen. Reading the piece got me thinking about writing in general and my own process in specific so here are some simple suggestions.
Write every day. The most common piece of advise from successful writers, the most obvious but sometimes the most difficult. Set a schedule, have some kind of system of accountability with yourself, even if you don't like what you write or only write a little bit- write every day. Through repetition you'll develop discipline and skill. You'll also become more adept at transferring your nebulous idea to the page.
Have an idea. For the most part sitting in front of a computer screen or a blank piece of paper isn't terribly inspiring. Have an idea of what you want to write or what you want to write about before you begin. Sometimes gestating on a particular idea can pay dividends when you write, if you have been thinking about a particular idea, outlining it, teasing it out, developing it in your head for a while it may come smoothly out of your head onto the keyboard. But don't ruminate too long, you can always revise. Sometimes it's best to start with something simple- a concept, feeling, or situation. Sometimes a title, line, or name is all you need to begin. An existing work can also be a good jumping off point(not plagiarism but inspiration).
Read it aloud. Reading what you've written out loud can give you insights into structure, word usage, and imagery. Alone by yourself or more effectively in performance. Reading a piece you've written in front of people is going to cue you in to what is resonate, what works, what is funny, what is touching. It can sometimes provide clarity as to what a piece is really about or its shape, rhythm, or flow. Responses from others, especially in a theatrical context, can provide invaluable guidance.
Revise but don't dwell. Your first pass on a piece most often isn't going to be its best incarnation. Spend time and energy rewording, restructuring, rewriting to make the piece as close to your ideal of it as possible. Sculpt it. After a certain point be done. Sometimes you can get stuck in revision, worrying over a piece or idea that is too slippery or evasive. Do your best, put the effort in then step back. Sometimes letting a piece sit for a bit(or walking away completely) is the best thing for it and for you.
Read. Read. Read.
Showing posts with label Steve'sGuide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steve'sGuide. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Argument
Thoughts on arguing from a lawyer's son.
Emotion is not constructive. Getting emotional can make you incoherent, verbal alacrity is the most important asset in an argument and getting choked up limits your main instrument- your voice. You are also more prone to reveal detrimental information and/or engage in a personal attack. Anger can potentially be beneficial, helping you focus and bring force, but most times being perceived as mean or aggressive can undermine your believability and others ability to be empathetic.
Prepare your line of reasoning. A strong, clear, concise, opening gambit is half the battle. Before going into a situation where you will engage in an argument, present a case, or attempt to persuade play the conversation out in your mind. Think of what you will say, think of the different avenues the conversation can take, play each line of reasoning through to its conclusion preparing what you would say given each eventuality. Anticipate what the opposing perspective will be and construct reasons to combat it. If you are well prepared nothing will surprise you, you will have a variety of options from which to draw on, you will have a rebuttal for any possible eventuality.
Employ sound logic. To the best of your ability make sense. Do not employ fallacy, do not employ exaggeration, do not rely on appeals to emotion. Of course anything you say is filtered through your own opinion but try to be as cut and dry as possible, siting specific examples and follow thoughts to their logical conclusion. Follow A to B to C, if your logic is tight it is exponentially more difficult for anyone to refute you.
Personal attacks are ineffective. It can be tempting to attack someone personally, to use aspects of someones background or history to discredit them. For the most part opening that door derails the thrust of the discussion and overshadows whatever the desired outcome may be. It can also be hurtful, if you are dealing with people that you have an outside relationship with this kind of tactic will have consequences after the argument is over. It can also be perceived as petty, lowering your standing in the eyes of those you are engaging with, making them less likely to be swayed by you. Conversely any personal attacks directed at you should be ignored or deflected, you will appear more reasonable to those you are attempting to persuade and more likely to do so.
Give ground when warranted. If an opponent makes a valid point, concede it. Do not unilaterally disagree with your opponents. If you are too rigid, regardless of the soundness of your argument, you may appear too fanatical, too stubborn, illogical. If you cannot be swayed from your point of view your opponents will be equally unwavering, you have given them no reason to listen to your reasoning.
Have a desired outcome, work towards it. Keep a goal in mind. Prepare an ideal outcome to any argument. Construct your line of argument to work towards this outcome. Also be prepared to make compromises. What ground will you give and where will you stand firm. Always be prepared to give ground. The focus should be broad, see the whole board, the whole court, the whole game. There are ebbs and flows to arguments, victories and concessions. Take the long view and strive to achieve what you can.
Emotion is not constructive. Getting emotional can make you incoherent, verbal alacrity is the most important asset in an argument and getting choked up limits your main instrument- your voice. You are also more prone to reveal detrimental information and/or engage in a personal attack. Anger can potentially be beneficial, helping you focus and bring force, but most times being perceived as mean or aggressive can undermine your believability and others ability to be empathetic.
Prepare your line of reasoning. A strong, clear, concise, opening gambit is half the battle. Before going into a situation where you will engage in an argument, present a case, or attempt to persuade play the conversation out in your mind. Think of what you will say, think of the different avenues the conversation can take, play each line of reasoning through to its conclusion preparing what you would say given each eventuality. Anticipate what the opposing perspective will be and construct reasons to combat it. If you are well prepared nothing will surprise you, you will have a variety of options from which to draw on, you will have a rebuttal for any possible eventuality.
Employ sound logic. To the best of your ability make sense. Do not employ fallacy, do not employ exaggeration, do not rely on appeals to emotion. Of course anything you say is filtered through your own opinion but try to be as cut and dry as possible, siting specific examples and follow thoughts to their logical conclusion. Follow A to B to C, if your logic is tight it is exponentially more difficult for anyone to refute you.
Personal attacks are ineffective. It can be tempting to attack someone personally, to use aspects of someones background or history to discredit them. For the most part opening that door derails the thrust of the discussion and overshadows whatever the desired outcome may be. It can also be hurtful, if you are dealing with people that you have an outside relationship with this kind of tactic will have consequences after the argument is over. It can also be perceived as petty, lowering your standing in the eyes of those you are engaging with, making them less likely to be swayed by you. Conversely any personal attacks directed at you should be ignored or deflected, you will appear more reasonable to those you are attempting to persuade and more likely to do so.
Give ground when warranted. If an opponent makes a valid point, concede it. Do not unilaterally disagree with your opponents. If you are too rigid, regardless of the soundness of your argument, you may appear too fanatical, too stubborn, illogical. If you cannot be swayed from your point of view your opponents will be equally unwavering, you have given them no reason to listen to your reasoning.
Have a desired outcome, work towards it. Keep a goal in mind. Prepare an ideal outcome to any argument. Construct your line of argument to work towards this outcome. Also be prepared to make compromises. What ground will you give and where will you stand firm. Always be prepared to give ground. The focus should be broad, see the whole board, the whole court, the whole game. There are ebbs and flows to arguments, victories and concessions. Take the long view and strive to achieve what you can.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Movie Going Suggestions
Chloe: Oh. I noticed.
Tonight Chloe and I went to see Under The Skin an odd, artsy, experimental type alien movie with Scarlett Johansson. The theater was packed and there were people trickling in during the trailers and the first 10 minutes of the movie. A number of people got up and left, presumably because of the tone or nudity in the movie, and there was a woman skrintching a plastic bag for the last 15 minutes or so. It was a bit of a distracting experience. Here are some suggestions to ensure a fluid and pleasurable movie going experience.
1. Have an idea of what it's about. You don't need to read a review or know the actors or the director or know a plot synopsis. But know what you're getting into. If it's an artsy alien movie or a depressing period drama you have certain expectations or can intuit what kind of a movie it's going to be. Unless you're a movie buff who sees movies indiscriminately don't wander into a movie theater and select the film that is most convenient for you time wise. This is doubly true if you're at an independent movie theater. The tone, content, or narrative(or lack there of) can surprise you if you haven't prepped sufficiently. You don't want to be caught on a Friday night seeing a movie that makes you feel uncomfortable or stupid.
2. Be on time. If you can, be on time. Find your seat and get yourself situated. This will prepare you for your cinematic experience and it is courteous to your fellow patrons. If you're all situated and quiet and have your drinks and snacks ready it limits interruptions which can impede on others experiences. If you arrive late, no big deal, slide into the nearest open seats, you have sacrificed your right to be choosey about where you sit. If the theater is packed go directly to the front. Don't ask people to move, don't stand in the walk way whispering to your friend, don't use your phone as a flashlight. You are late, the people already there were not late, respect that. Besides sitting up in the front can be fun, give it a try.
3. Be Quiet. Put your phone on silent and put it away. If you need to check the time do so discreetly. Be aware of who is around you and how close they are. If you are in a crowded theater go to the lobby if you need to do any extended phone use. You can whisper or react to your friend or loved one periodically but don't talk. Don't engage in a conversation. You can talk about the movie after. You are in a public place where people have paid money to see this thing, respect that. Be aware of your snacking volume. Don't be rustling in a plastic bag, opening a ton of packages, or adjusting the position of your bags once the movie has got going. If you need to open a delicious baggy of sour patch kids wait for a loud noise, a shouting scene, or anything that is not building suspense/a climax.
Simply put: be respectful. You are a human in a room with other humans.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Steve's Guide To Physical Altercations
1. Avoidance- Fights should only be engaged in as a last resort. Talking things out in a reasonable manner is good, walking away is best. But there are times when situations escalate or call for things to go into the physical realm.
2. Surprise- In a fight that must be fought there's no such thing as a cheap shot. If the person is distracted take advantage, if you can trick them to turning their back do so. If someone is staring straight at you yelling and pointing is not effective. One effective tactic is lobbing something at the persons face- a handful of change, garbage, whatever you have. You can disorient them and get them off balance.
3. Strike Through- When striking someone follow through with your blow. If you're trying to hit someone in their stomach don't aim for their stomach aim behind the stomach. You'll get my power and be more stable.
4. Speed over Strength- Don't be so much concerned with how hard you hit, be concerned with how many times you hit. Throwing a punch or a kick as hard as you can usually telegraphs the blow and the other person can avoid or block it. Land sharp quick blows and wear down your opponent. Most fights come down to stamina.
5. Squishy Parts and Joints- You want to get the fight over with as soon as possible. Some places on the body are more tender or fragile than others- go after those places. The eyes, neck, armpit, kidneys, stomach, crotch, knees, and feet. If the person can't walk well, see straight, or breathe easily the fight is over.
6. Avoid the Head- A fight is not a boxing match. Your fists are your weapons but they are also easily broken. The head is thick and hard and many a hand is broken on a skull during a fight. It's a tempting target but most fights are not ended with a KO.
7. Be Ready To Go All The Way- The best way to not have to fight is to make it clear to the other person by attitude and speech that you are 100% ready to fight. Now I don't mean posturing or showboating or trash talking. You have to be ready to lose. You have to be ready to make the other person pay for every inch. You have to be ready to dig down deep and put all your energy and will into a fight and even if you're beaten and broken not to give up. If it's clear to the other person that you are determined and willing to give this clash absolutely everything you have most of the time they will back down. Most people are not capable of going the distance.
For further reading and strategy see The Powell Doctrine.
2. Surprise- In a fight that must be fought there's no such thing as a cheap shot. If the person is distracted take advantage, if you can trick them to turning their back do so. If someone is staring straight at you yelling and pointing is not effective. One effective tactic is lobbing something at the persons face- a handful of change, garbage, whatever you have. You can disorient them and get them off balance.
3. Strike Through- When striking someone follow through with your blow. If you're trying to hit someone in their stomach don't aim for their stomach aim behind the stomach. You'll get my power and be more stable.
4. Speed over Strength- Don't be so much concerned with how hard you hit, be concerned with how many times you hit. Throwing a punch or a kick as hard as you can usually telegraphs the blow and the other person can avoid or block it. Land sharp quick blows and wear down your opponent. Most fights come down to stamina.
5. Squishy Parts and Joints- You want to get the fight over with as soon as possible. Some places on the body are more tender or fragile than others- go after those places. The eyes, neck, armpit, kidneys, stomach, crotch, knees, and feet. If the person can't walk well, see straight, or breathe easily the fight is over.
6. Avoid the Head- A fight is not a boxing match. Your fists are your weapons but they are also easily broken. The head is thick and hard and many a hand is broken on a skull during a fight. It's a tempting target but most fights are not ended with a KO.
7. Be Ready To Go All The Way- The best way to not have to fight is to make it clear to the other person by attitude and speech that you are 100% ready to fight. Now I don't mean posturing or showboating or trash talking. You have to be ready to lose. You have to be ready to make the other person pay for every inch. You have to be ready to dig down deep and put all your energy and will into a fight and even if you're beaten and broken not to give up. If it's clear to the other person that you are determined and willing to give this clash absolutely everything you have most of the time they will back down. Most people are not capable of going the distance.
For further reading and strategy see The Powell Doctrine.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Steve's Guide To Holiday Parties
1. Eat Up- More often than not there is a lot of food at such parties. Freely provided by the host or a pot luck type situations. Either it's free or mostly free. Indulge. And try all the cookies you can.
2. Drink Up- I don't drink but for those who do it's a good time to make merry. Shake off some of the winter doldrums. Stir the pot. If there is an open bar, take advantage. If its BYOB there's usually more than enough to go around. Give one, take two.
3. Stay Mobile- Don't get pinned in a corner. Stick and move. Engage with friends you haven't seen in a while and try to touch base with some people you may only know in passing. The energy at a holiday party can be a bit frenetic, ride it don't let it ride you.
4. Dance- If there's dancing and you like dancing- dance. If you're one of those people that is on the fence, survey the scene, if a lot of people are dancing and having fun join in. Don't be shy. This is our substitute for the Winter Solstice. Cut loose before buckling down for the long winter. Get those pheromones working.
5. Exit Strategy- Go in with an idea of how long you want to stay and try to stick to it. An hour, two, what have you. You don't want to get roped into something or get yourself into trouble. Have an excuse- work, a significant other, unattended Christmas shopping etc. You can also go in with the idea to stay all night, keep yourself open to the possibility of a kiss under the mistletoe or something a little more decadent. If that's what you're looking for stick it out till the end and see what opportunities arise.
6. Stay Safe- Use cabs, public transportation, and designated drivers if you plan to imbibe. If the holiday party is work related keep yourself reigned in around your boss. Try not to break or spill things. If you are directing your affections at someone be sure they are being welcomed.
The goal is to wake up the next day feeling satisfied not guilty.
2. Drink Up- I don't drink but for those who do it's a good time to make merry. Shake off some of the winter doldrums. Stir the pot. If there is an open bar, take advantage. If its BYOB there's usually more than enough to go around. Give one, take two.
3. Stay Mobile- Don't get pinned in a corner. Stick and move. Engage with friends you haven't seen in a while and try to touch base with some people you may only know in passing. The energy at a holiday party can be a bit frenetic, ride it don't let it ride you.
4. Dance- If there's dancing and you like dancing- dance. If you're one of those people that is on the fence, survey the scene, if a lot of people are dancing and having fun join in. Don't be shy. This is our substitute for the Winter Solstice. Cut loose before buckling down for the long winter. Get those pheromones working.
5. Exit Strategy- Go in with an idea of how long you want to stay and try to stick to it. An hour, two, what have you. You don't want to get roped into something or get yourself into trouble. Have an excuse- work, a significant other, unattended Christmas shopping etc. You can also go in with the idea to stay all night, keep yourself open to the possibility of a kiss under the mistletoe or something a little more decadent. If that's what you're looking for stick it out till the end and see what opportunities arise.
6. Stay Safe- Use cabs, public transportation, and designated drivers if you plan to imbibe. If the holiday party is work related keep yourself reigned in around your boss. Try not to break or spill things. If you are directing your affections at someone be sure they are being welcomed.
The goal is to wake up the next day feeling satisfied not guilty.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Steve's Guide To Meeting Parents
1. Call Them By Their First Names- When meeting a friend or lovers parents you don't want to set up a subservient dynamic or a generational divide. Call them by their first names, using Mister or Misses is a thing we should put to bed with our teens when interacting interpersonally outside of work. Using first names breeds familiarity and casualness, that''s the kind of dynamic you want to enter into, parents are just people after all.
2. Be Polite But Not Too Polite- Everyone deserves respect especially individuals of an older generation. Some people may adhere to stricter manners than others so get a sense of where they stand before you put your feet up on the coffee table, chew with your mouth open, swear, or refer to sex. You also don't want to come off as a stuffed shirt. Act like yourself but always remember your pleases and your thank yous.
3. Let Them Pay- More often than not the older folks are going to want to pick up the check when you're out to eat. Be ready to pay your way(keep this in mind when ordering) but relent if the parent of your friend or lover offers and/or persists. Do not insist on picking up the check yourself or paying your part of the check. This will get parents mad and/or put them off.
4. Crack Some Jokes- Feel free to talk to them like one of your friends. Make some jokes and try to get them laughing. There's nothing like laughter to bring people closer together. A well timed off-color joke can do wonders to get peoples defenses down but remember to use discretion and gauge your audience.
5. Ask Questions- Parents are curious about who their son or daughter is friends with or dating, they may ask you a lot of questions, they may also feel like they should ask you a lot of questions because of some predisposed societal construct. Answer their questions then give them a question. Get to know them while they get to know you. People enjoy talking about themselves, it's a fact. Keep the playing field even.
All interactions should support the idea of respectful peer, you're not a kid you're an adult.
2. Be Polite But Not Too Polite- Everyone deserves respect especially individuals of an older generation. Some people may adhere to stricter manners than others so get a sense of where they stand before you put your feet up on the coffee table, chew with your mouth open, swear, or refer to sex. You also don't want to come off as a stuffed shirt. Act like yourself but always remember your pleases and your thank yous.
3. Let Them Pay- More often than not the older folks are going to want to pick up the check when you're out to eat. Be ready to pay your way(keep this in mind when ordering) but relent if the parent of your friend or lover offers and/or persists. Do not insist on picking up the check yourself or paying your part of the check. This will get parents mad and/or put them off.
4. Crack Some Jokes- Feel free to talk to them like one of your friends. Make some jokes and try to get them laughing. There's nothing like laughter to bring people closer together. A well timed off-color joke can do wonders to get peoples defenses down but remember to use discretion and gauge your audience.
5. Ask Questions- Parents are curious about who their son or daughter is friends with or dating, they may ask you a lot of questions, they may also feel like they should ask you a lot of questions because of some predisposed societal construct. Answer their questions then give them a question. Get to know them while they get to know you. People enjoy talking about themselves, it's a fact. Keep the playing field even.
All interactions should support the idea of respectful peer, you're not a kid you're an adult.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Steve's Guide To Reviews
1. Don't summarize the plot. Most reviews are 3/4 plot summary. This is unnecessary and detrimental to the enjoyment of the person reading it. People need to know the genre of the movie(or book) and a brief idea of the premise. There should be no more than a sentence or two about what the story is about.
2. Tell me your opinion. Write why you liked it or didn't like it. There is no way a reviewer can be "objective" so stop trying to pretend as if you are. Describe how it made you feel, what you thought worked, what you thought didn't work, tell me what you thought of the performances.
3. Come up with your own rating system. The four star system has no context any more. Every reviewer is writing from a place from their personal taste and style. Embrace that and use a personalized rating system. If a reader has a better sense of who the reviewer is and what they like they can make more accurate decisions on what they may like.
4. Be Brief. Be judicious with all that you write because anyone reading a review is going to be influenced by it. A long impassioned review of a book or a movie is going to stick in the mind of the person reading it and is going to shape how they view the movie or read the book. Reviews should be a tool for people to find movies or books that appeal to them, they shouldn't create preconceived notion or bias.
5. Don't use analogies. Steer clear of the Europa Report is Event Horizon meets Moon or The Heat is Beverly Hills Cop meets Romy and Michele's High School Reunion trap. This is an obvious and easy way to classify a movie that is rarely actually accurate or helpful. Sometimes for a terrible or simple movie it is a perfect descriptor but even so: use it sparingly.
Reviews should be read for a person to get an idea if they would like something or not. Or for a person to help analyze something they've already seen or read.
Reviews should not ruin story.
2. Tell me your opinion. Write why you liked it or didn't like it. There is no way a reviewer can be "objective" so stop trying to pretend as if you are. Describe how it made you feel, what you thought worked, what you thought didn't work, tell me what you thought of the performances.
3. Come up with your own rating system. The four star system has no context any more. Every reviewer is writing from a place from their personal taste and style. Embrace that and use a personalized rating system. If a reader has a better sense of who the reviewer is and what they like they can make more accurate decisions on what they may like.
4. Be Brief. Be judicious with all that you write because anyone reading a review is going to be influenced by it. A long impassioned review of a book or a movie is going to stick in the mind of the person reading it and is going to shape how they view the movie or read the book. Reviews should be a tool for people to find movies or books that appeal to them, they shouldn't create preconceived notion or bias.
5. Don't use analogies. Steer clear of the Europa Report is Event Horizon meets Moon or The Heat is Beverly Hills Cop meets Romy and Michele's High School Reunion trap. This is an obvious and easy way to classify a movie that is rarely actually accurate or helpful. Sometimes for a terrible or simple movie it is a perfect descriptor but even so: use it sparingly.
Reviews should be read for a person to get an idea if they would like something or not. Or for a person to help analyze something they've already seen or read.
Reviews should not ruin story.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Steve's Guide To Breaking Up Part 3
Final Installment.
There will be ghosts. Murmurs. Echos.
Every love leaves a mark. It will fade, dissipate, dissolve but never disappear.
You move on. Focus on other things- passions, hobbies, travel, friends.
Open yourself up to other people. You'll find yourself excited by someone new, develop a crush, and fall in love again.
Your past love will at some point be eclipsed by some future love and that's good.
Every love builds you up. Deepens you. Becomes a part of you. Makes you strong. But you can't hold on to something that's not there. You can't grip a shadow.
The past got you to the present. And the present is the moment that needs to be lived in. Some thing will always linger. Faintly. On the periphery. Let it be.
It may flare up from time to time. Aftershocks. Those are just gentle reminders of how you got to where you are. And maybe lessons too.
Love comes in waves. Don't stand stiff letting them break over you. Ride them. And when you ride them all the way to the beach.
Go back out to sea.
There will be ghosts. Murmurs. Echos.
Every love leaves a mark. It will fade, dissipate, dissolve but never disappear.
You move on. Focus on other things- passions, hobbies, travel, friends.
Open yourself up to other people. You'll find yourself excited by someone new, develop a crush, and fall in love again.
Your past love will at some point be eclipsed by some future love and that's good.
Every love builds you up. Deepens you. Becomes a part of you. Makes you strong. But you can't hold on to something that's not there. You can't grip a shadow.
The past got you to the present. And the present is the moment that needs to be lived in. Some thing will always linger. Faintly. On the periphery. Let it be.
It may flare up from time to time. Aftershocks. Those are just gentle reminders of how you got to where you are. And maybe lessons too.
Love comes in waves. Don't stand stiff letting them break over you. Ride them. And when you ride them all the way to the beach.
Go back out to sea.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Steve's Guide To A Day Job
my desk
1. Fulfillment- If you have a job you love you're in luck. If you have a job you like, enjoy it as much as you can. If you have a job you hate, get a new job. If you have a job you don't feel one way or the other about take pleasure in the work that you do. Be proud of doing a good days work, work your hardest, and be positive, let any angst roll off you like water. You have to take some measure of fulfillment form your job or you will be perpetually discontent. That may be something small or it may be big if you have a job that engages you. The important thing to remember is that every job is important in some way. No job is too small, no job is unimportant, no job is beneath you. I suffered under the idea that I was too smart for every job I had and it made me miserable. You get payed to do a service, render the service, and enjoy the feeling of being of service.
2. Commuting Materials- If you drive, bike, or ride the train keep yourself engaged. Don't let that half an hour be wasted time. Read, listen to podcasts, music, or audio books. Engage with something it will liven up your day and get your mind rolling on some interesting things if you have a relatively mindless job.
3. The Internet- If you have internet access at your job find out what restrictions, if any, your work has. Find sites that you like, that make you laugh or have interesting content. When your bored, need a pick me up, or need a break- do some well deserved surfin'.
4. Lunch Buddies- Every once in a while make a lunch date with friends. It'll brighten up your day and break up your week.
5. Work Space- Personalize your office space. Pictures, kitch, quotes whatever. Make a place you are comfortable in with things around you that make you happy.
6. Office Politics- Be on equitable terms with your co-workers. If you don't like someone at your work or someone rubs you the wrong way don't let it effect your attitude or your performance. Whatever someones issue may be more often than not its a result of their own dissatisfaction with their life or with their job. It has no bearing on you or your work. Don't take anything personally. Do your work as best you can and if you have a problem with anything or anyone talk to someone about it. Whatever issues arise at work, they're not worth it.
7. Get home fast and do whatever you want!
Friday, January 25, 2013
Steve's Guide To The CTA
1. Know The System- Be aware of how your city is laid out and the major routes within it. Be aware of when bus and train routes start and stop and which run all night. Get to know what routes you usually take and when they are busy and how often they come. Be familiar in case you get stranded somewhere with no phone and little to no money, you'll be able to find your way home.
2. Get A Seat- If at all possible sit down. Getting jostled about in a crowded train car or bus sucks. Not to mention you are more vulnerable to getting your pocket picked. If you're stressing out during your commute you're starting your day off on the wrong foot. If you're at a stop where a lot of people are waiting and a bus or train hasn't come in a long time there's usually two coming back to back so wait for the second one and get a seat.
3. Track It- Duh. With technology the way it is you should be able to time things so you're not waiting a long time for a bus or train ever.
4. Alternate Route- Where ever you live or work have a couple different routes to and from. Sometimes there's going to be construction or events which slow transit down, when that happens have another route to take. Also variety is the spice of life. Take different routes, don't get in a routine of doing the same thing everyday it mutes your brain, mix it up.
5. Be Polite- If you bump someone say excuse me. If you need to get out say excuse me. Simple. There's no reason public transit should be the go to complaint that it is. If we are considerate and kind we will receive similar treatment. The employees of public transit have a long, hard, virtually thankless job. Don't give them a hard time, treat them with respect and they will do the same. Realize that they probably get harassed by many people each day and cut them some slack if they give you some attitude. Besides attitude is a function of living in the big city- enjoy it.
6. Don't Engage Crazy People- There's a lot of crazy people out there. It's really fun to watch them. So watch them but don't talk to them. Don't engage with them, once you're involved they may not leave you alone. Have a book or you're phone handy to get absorbed in if a crazy tries to pull you in with their tractor beam.
2. Get A Seat- If at all possible sit down. Getting jostled about in a crowded train car or bus sucks. Not to mention you are more vulnerable to getting your pocket picked. If you're stressing out during your commute you're starting your day off on the wrong foot. If you're at a stop where a lot of people are waiting and a bus or train hasn't come in a long time there's usually two coming back to back so wait for the second one and get a seat.
3. Track It- Duh. With technology the way it is you should be able to time things so you're not waiting a long time for a bus or train ever.
4. Alternate Route- Where ever you live or work have a couple different routes to and from. Sometimes there's going to be construction or events which slow transit down, when that happens have another route to take. Also variety is the spice of life. Take different routes, don't get in a routine of doing the same thing everyday it mutes your brain, mix it up.
5. Be Polite- If you bump someone say excuse me. If you need to get out say excuse me. Simple. There's no reason public transit should be the go to complaint that it is. If we are considerate and kind we will receive similar treatment. The employees of public transit have a long, hard, virtually thankless job. Don't give them a hard time, treat them with respect and they will do the same. Realize that they probably get harassed by many people each day and cut them some slack if they give you some attitude. Besides attitude is a function of living in the big city- enjoy it.
6. Don't Engage Crazy People- There's a lot of crazy people out there. It's really fun to watch them. So watch them but don't talk to them. Don't engage with them, once you're involved they may not leave you alone. Have a book or you're phone handy to get absorbed in if a crazy tries to pull you in with their tractor beam.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Steve's Guide To The Perfect Gift
All gifts are good. Anyone who thinks different are simply inconsiderate. But there is always that distinction when someone gets something really good. Someone really nails that something in particular that was great for that certain person. Some thoughts...
1. Unexpected- It has to be unexpected. If the person can see it coming that automatically takes the impact of the gift down a peg. This is unfortunate because it takes anything on someones "x-mas list" out of the running for great gifts but if you ask for something then receive it some of the spontaneity is lost.
2. They Wouldn't Get It- People love getting something that they want but would never get for themselves for whatever reason. People will sometimes drop hints about this kind of stuff "I've always wanted..." or "I've always meant to get..." or "...when I get my tax return I'll buy..." You indulge someones guilty pleasure which they feel like they can't indulge, they'll love you for it.
3. Personal- Gifts related to someones interest or preferences are always big successes. Something involving an athlete, author, actor, artist, or musician that they love or identify with. They'd live it and it shows that you know them well. Or if the gift is related to your shared past. Any gifts that highlight the relationship or how well you know the person are guarantees.
4. Instinct- At the end of the day go with your gut. If you have that feeling or thought "You know what, ____ would really like this!" Get it. Then when you give it to them you can watch their face light up.
Giving gifts always feels good. But there's nothing better than that look of genuine surprise and joy when you give something that really hits home. Shocked euphoria.
1. Unexpected- It has to be unexpected. If the person can see it coming that automatically takes the impact of the gift down a peg. This is unfortunate because it takes anything on someones "x-mas list" out of the running for great gifts but if you ask for something then receive it some of the spontaneity is lost.
2. They Wouldn't Get It- People love getting something that they want but would never get for themselves for whatever reason. People will sometimes drop hints about this kind of stuff "I've always wanted..." or "I've always meant to get..." or "...when I get my tax return I'll buy..." You indulge someones guilty pleasure which they feel like they can't indulge, they'll love you for it.
3. Personal- Gifts related to someones interest or preferences are always big successes. Something involving an athlete, author, actor, artist, or musician that they love or identify with. They'd live it and it shows that you know them well. Or if the gift is related to your shared past. Any gifts that highlight the relationship or how well you know the person are guarantees.
4. Instinct- At the end of the day go with your gut. If you have that feeling or thought "You know what, ____ would really like this!" Get it. Then when you give it to them you can watch their face light up.
Giving gifts always feels good. But there's nothing better than that look of genuine surprise and joy when you give something that really hits home. Shocked euphoria.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Steve's Guide To Auditions
I helped out with harold auditions today. It was interesting, I didn't judge the folks auditioning I just warmed them up, gave them a little pep talk, and then sent them in. Some thoughts.
1. Confidence. Every audition you need to confident. You need to be confident in who you are and what you do. You own the space, you own the room. If you are confident you won't be hamstrung by any self-doubt or indecision. You should never have the thought "Is this good?" "Am I doing this right?" Do what you want to do, what you think is right. If they like you, they like you, if they don't, they don't. That's not under your control. But don't get over-confident. You don't want to come across as a entitled dick.
2. Comfort. Be comfortable in your cloths, be comfortable in the space, be comfortable with your fellow auditioners, be comfortable with the outcome whatever it may be. Worrying about things never changes anything.
3. Positivity. Be positive! To the people you are auditioning with and the people interacting with you at the audition. Positivity breeds more positivity. If you are nice and welcoming, people will also be nice and welcoming. You go into a situation with a positive attitude you are much more probable to get positive results. You go in with an open mind you never no what can happen. You go in with a chip on your shoulder or a self defeatist attitude, you've already failed.
4. Don't Care. Putting to much importance on getting the audition is going to detract from what you can do in the audition. You'll be in your head, second guess yourself, be nervous, all of which will not let you perform up to your potential. Act like you already got the audition or banish the desire of getting from yourself entirely. If you go into a situation with no expectations and no preconceived notions possibilities are endless.
5. Have Fun. Any chance to perform is enjoyable. Take any opportunity you have to have some fun with it whether it's an improv audition or one for 'Back To Bed'. Take some liberties, take some risks, show a little edge, show a little heart. There's a big chance you may never see some of these people again so feel free to, at the very least, put a smile on your own face.
Auditions can be icky. But they don't have to be.
1. Confidence. Every audition you need to confident. You need to be confident in who you are and what you do. You own the space, you own the room. If you are confident you won't be hamstrung by any self-doubt or indecision. You should never have the thought "Is this good?" "Am I doing this right?" Do what you want to do, what you think is right. If they like you, they like you, if they don't, they don't. That's not under your control. But don't get over-confident. You don't want to come across as a entitled dick.
2. Comfort. Be comfortable in your cloths, be comfortable in the space, be comfortable with your fellow auditioners, be comfortable with the outcome whatever it may be. Worrying about things never changes anything.
3. Positivity. Be positive! To the people you are auditioning with and the people interacting with you at the audition. Positivity breeds more positivity. If you are nice and welcoming, people will also be nice and welcoming. You go into a situation with a positive attitude you are much more probable to get positive results. You go in with an open mind you never no what can happen. You go in with a chip on your shoulder or a self defeatist attitude, you've already failed.
4. Don't Care. Putting to much importance on getting the audition is going to detract from what you can do in the audition. You'll be in your head, second guess yourself, be nervous, all of which will not let you perform up to your potential. Act like you already got the audition or banish the desire of getting from yourself entirely. If you go into a situation with no expectations and no preconceived notions possibilities are endless.
5. Have Fun. Any chance to perform is enjoyable. Take any opportunity you have to have some fun with it whether it's an improv audition or one for 'Back To Bed'. Take some liberties, take some risks, show a little edge, show a little heart. There's a big chance you may never see some of these people again so feel free to, at the very least, put a smile on your own face.
Auditions can be icky. But they don't have to be.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Steve's Guide To Relationships Part 2
1. Sometimes it's not the right time. And that's ok.
2. A break is not a break-up.
3. Always keep lines of communication.
4. Fill your days. Have fun, enjoy a small indulgence, be productive, see friends, get outside.
5. Anger and sadness are natural emotions. It's what you do with them that matter.
6. You can only control one person, yourself. Keep that in mind.
7. There is always hope. Always hope.
2. A break is not a break-up.
3. Always keep lines of communication.
4. Fill your days. Have fun, enjoy a small indulgence, be productive, see friends, get outside.
5. Anger and sadness are natural emotions. It's what you do with them that matter.
6. You can only control one person, yourself. Keep that in mind.
7. There is always hope. Always hope.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Steve's Guide To Managing Anxiety
1. Don't Forget To Breathe.
2. Family and Friends. No matter who you are you have some kind of support system. Probably more deep and broad then you realize. Use it, that's what they're there for. If you need help or some company ask for it. There's no shame in that. People can't read your mind and you may be better at hiding your emotions then you realize.
3. Walk Away. There's no situation in your life that you can't walk away from for a couple minutes. Get some air, walk around, take a moment for yourself you deserve it.
4. Special Place. Everyone has one or more special places. Places that they love and calm them. One of mine is the movie theater. I go to the movies by myself once a week just to decompress. Find that place and visit it often.
5. It's Going To Be OK. No matter what problems you have in your life it's going to be OK. All problems are solvable. All problems can be handled. All problems have resolutions. They may be long and they may be tough but eventually they will be resolved. And during that time you're not alone. That's the other thing.
6. You're Not Alone.
2. Family and Friends. No matter who you are you have some kind of support system. Probably more deep and broad then you realize. Use it, that's what they're there for. If you need help or some company ask for it. There's no shame in that. People can't read your mind and you may be better at hiding your emotions then you realize.
3. Walk Away. There's no situation in your life that you can't walk away from for a couple minutes. Get some air, walk around, take a moment for yourself you deserve it.
4. Special Place. Everyone has one or more special places. Places that they love and calm them. One of mine is the movie theater. I go to the movies by myself once a week just to decompress. Find that place and visit it often.
5. It's Going To Be OK. No matter what problems you have in your life it's going to be OK. All problems are solvable. All problems can be handled. All problems have resolutions. They may be long and they may be tough but eventually they will be resolved. And during that time you're not alone. That's the other thing.
6. You're Not Alone.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Steve's Guide To SAD
Some things to do if winter gets you blue.
1. Exercise. Be active. Walk as much as you can. Bundle up and face the winter.
2. Special Project. Have a project you're working on. An art project, home repair, anything. It'll make you feel like your accomplishing something even if you're stuck inside.
3. Go Out. Don't be cowed by the weather. It's inconvenient and sometimes uncomfortable but force yourself to go out. Go to the movies, to a play, see a concert. Anything just don't spend too much time at home.
4. Hang Out. Pick a random friend you haven't seen in a while and have lunch. You probably have extra time on your hands because there are no summer activities. Use that time to catch up with friends!
5. Hug. Physical contact is good for you.
6. Don't Get Cocky. This winter isn't over yet.
5. Hug. Physical contact is good for you.
6. Don't Get Cocky. This winter isn't over yet.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Steve's Guide To Roommates
1. Cleanliness- Your living space should be as clean as the neatest person would like it to be. It doesn't take much energy if everyone knows what is preferred and pitches in.
2. Bills- One person should handle the bills. The other person or persons should make sure to pay their share within a week following the bills being sent.
3. Shower Time- Remember to coordinate schedules if everyone gets up around the same time.
4. Significant Others- They have free reign of course but within reason. Your significant other is still a guest and your roommate probably wants to see you alone periodically. If you're spending every day and/or evening with your significant other, after a certain point, you should probably move in together.
5. Borrowing- I firmly believe in 'what's mine is yours'. Food, movies, books, condoms what have you. That may not work for everyone but it eliminates the stupidest roommate argument. "Did you eat my leftover ________?" There's no reason to get upset about your left over kookaburra wings.
6. Talk- If you're friends with your roommates don't forget to hang out with them. If you don't like or are indifferent to your roommates make sure to check in with them now and again. You don't want to wake up one day and feel like your living with a stranger.
7. Toilet Paper- If you notice you're low buy some. There's nothing worse than a family member coming over and using the restroom when there's no toilet paper.
2. Bills- One person should handle the bills. The other person or persons should make sure to pay their share within a week following the bills being sent.
3. Shower Time- Remember to coordinate schedules if everyone gets up around the same time.
4. Significant Others- They have free reign of course but within reason. Your significant other is still a guest and your roommate probably wants to see you alone periodically. If you're spending every day and/or evening with your significant other, after a certain point, you should probably move in together.
5. Borrowing- I firmly believe in 'what's mine is yours'. Food, movies, books, condoms what have you. That may not work for everyone but it eliminates the stupidest roommate argument. "Did you eat my leftover ________?" There's no reason to get upset about your left over kookaburra wings.
6. Talk- If you're friends with your roommates don't forget to hang out with them. If you don't like or are indifferent to your roommates make sure to check in with them now and again. You don't want to wake up one day and feel like your living with a stranger.
7. Toilet Paper- If you notice you're low buy some. There's nothing worse than a family member coming over and using the restroom when there's no toilet paper.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Steve's Guide To Family
For my sister Marta
1. Stay Connected- Keep in touch with your family. You don't have to be in contact all the time: not once a day, not once a week, but stay in contact. Let your loved ones know how you're doing and what you're up to. Email, text, call. Don't let there be a gap.
2. Talk And Listen- Talk to your family. Tell them what's going on in your life: how your job is, what you're into, and if you're in love. Share your pain with them too, they're the only people in the world you can unload on and not feel bad about it. Tell them as much as you can and listen even more. Be interested and engaged in your family members lives. Listen to the little stupid things that no one else will listen to because sometimes those small things are big things.
3. Argue- You only have to worry about a certain amount of politeness when it comes to your family. If they are doing something you don't agree with or don't like, tell them. Feel free to call bullshit on them or fight back if they are making you feel mad, sad, or embarrassed. Keep in mind they are your family and you love them. Don't be mean, be constructive. Don't be biting, be logical. But make your point. Stand up.
3a. Check Yourself- Your family are people too. You know them the best so you know how to cut deep if you want to. Don't. Don't hit below the belt. Make your point but don't hit the nerve even though you know exactly where it is.
4. Eat Together- Share meals together. You don't have to talk. But break bread together. You're a family. A unit. It's something you don't share with anyone else. Sometimes they're the only ones you can count on. Sometimes it's you against the world.
5. Sit Together- You don't need a reason or an activity to be together. Watch a movie or TV and simply sit together. Read or check your email or write. Simply sit in the same room. Share the space. Sometimes doing that brings you closer than chatting. Exist together.
"There's nothing like family you know." -Al Pacino Scent Of A Woman
1. Stay Connected- Keep in touch with your family. You don't have to be in contact all the time: not once a day, not once a week, but stay in contact. Let your loved ones know how you're doing and what you're up to. Email, text, call. Don't let there be a gap.
2. Talk And Listen- Talk to your family. Tell them what's going on in your life: how your job is, what you're into, and if you're in love. Share your pain with them too, they're the only people in the world you can unload on and not feel bad about it. Tell them as much as you can and listen even more. Be interested and engaged in your family members lives. Listen to the little stupid things that no one else will listen to because sometimes those small things are big things.
3. Argue- You only have to worry about a certain amount of politeness when it comes to your family. If they are doing something you don't agree with or don't like, tell them. Feel free to call bullshit on them or fight back if they are making you feel mad, sad, or embarrassed. Keep in mind they are your family and you love them. Don't be mean, be constructive. Don't be biting, be logical. But make your point. Stand up.
3a. Check Yourself- Your family are people too. You know them the best so you know how to cut deep if you want to. Don't. Don't hit below the belt. Make your point but don't hit the nerve even though you know exactly where it is.
4. Eat Together- Share meals together. You don't have to talk. But break bread together. You're a family. A unit. It's something you don't share with anyone else. Sometimes they're the only ones you can count on. Sometimes it's you against the world.
5. Sit Together- You don't need a reason or an activity to be together. Watch a movie or TV and simply sit together. Read or check your email or write. Simply sit in the same room. Share the space. Sometimes doing that brings you closer than chatting. Exist together.
"There's nothing like family you know." -Al Pacino Scent Of A Woman
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Steve's Guide To A Good Show
1. Punctuality- Get to your show on time. If your group or cast meets 30 minutes or an hour before the show starts, that is the time you should get there. Being late is unprofessional. There is a reason you are asked to get to a show at a certain time. You need that time to get ready for the show with your cast/teammates. If you are running late, you are putting undue stress on your cast/teammates. If you are chronically late you are showing disrespect for your cast/teammates and the work you are doing.
2. Pre-Show Ritual- You have to warm-up in some way. This can be a standard warm-up game, doing bits with each other, or simply checking in about how you are doing. Some people have specific things they do before each show, I often have a Red Bull and right before I go on I jump up an down. You should also develop a specific way you come on stage (like a particular song), a specific way you introduce your show, and a specific way you ask for a suggestion. Start the show before the show. The show starts the instant the audience can see you.
3. Your Idea- At some point give yourself permission to do what you want to do. Make a move and have it be exactly what you want it to be. If it's a sketch show, there will probably be at least one sketch where you are the focus, embrace it and drive it.
4. Someone Elses Idea- At some point laser in on someone else's idea. Lift it up, make it the most important thing you can, set someone up to look smart and funny. Feed them. This will make them look good as well as you look good. It'll also make you feel good. People love watching teamwork and joy on stage.
5. Pace- Have a sense of how the show is going, how long the scenes are, and where they are in relation to the beginning and the end of the show. Vary it up. Imagine a show like a song, sometimes you need to speed it up, slow it down, solo, or take it to the bridge. An audience loves variety, give them as much as you can.
6. Clever/Fun- Be clever. People love watching witty people banter about funny subjects. Also have fun and be stupid. Sometimes after an intense relationship or political scene, a fart scene really hits the spot.
7. Sing- In an improv show, think about doing a song either in a scene or as a group. Songs are fun and audiences give you a lot of leeway if they know you're improvising. They also go nuts for it. It's like a parlor trick, "Hey look! They're singing!" In a sketch show, whatever songs you may have, practice them and sing them well. If you can't sing, don't know how to sing, or don't have a good singing voice: don't sing. A scripted song can look terrible if the performers are uncertain either about the material or their abilities.
8. Physical- Get physical. Play animals or objects or the weather. Get on chairs, play inanimate objects, run in place. Varying up the stage picture and how you use your body, this will excite and engage the audience. Don't rely on this, we're not clowns or mimes. But be aware of what you're doing, change it up and then change it again.
2. Pre-Show Ritual- You have to warm-up in some way. This can be a standard warm-up game, doing bits with each other, or simply checking in about how you are doing. Some people have specific things they do before each show, I often have a Red Bull and right before I go on I jump up an down. You should also develop a specific way you come on stage (like a particular song), a specific way you introduce your show, and a specific way you ask for a suggestion. Start the show before the show. The show starts the instant the audience can see you.
3. Your Idea- At some point give yourself permission to do what you want to do. Make a move and have it be exactly what you want it to be. If it's a sketch show, there will probably be at least one sketch where you are the focus, embrace it and drive it.
4. Someone Elses Idea- At some point laser in on someone else's idea. Lift it up, make it the most important thing you can, set someone up to look smart and funny. Feed them. This will make them look good as well as you look good. It'll also make you feel good. People love watching teamwork and joy on stage.
5. Pace- Have a sense of how the show is going, how long the scenes are, and where they are in relation to the beginning and the end of the show. Vary it up. Imagine a show like a song, sometimes you need to speed it up, slow it down, solo, or take it to the bridge. An audience loves variety, give them as much as you can.
6. Clever/Fun- Be clever. People love watching witty people banter about funny subjects. Also have fun and be stupid. Sometimes after an intense relationship or political scene, a fart scene really hits the spot.
7. Sing- In an improv show, think about doing a song either in a scene or as a group. Songs are fun and audiences give you a lot of leeway if they know you're improvising. They also go nuts for it. It's like a parlor trick, "Hey look! They're singing!" In a sketch show, whatever songs you may have, practice them and sing them well. If you can't sing, don't know how to sing, or don't have a good singing voice: don't sing. A scripted song can look terrible if the performers are uncertain either about the material or their abilities.
8. Physical- Get physical. Play animals or objects or the weather. Get on chairs, play inanimate objects, run in place. Varying up the stage picture and how you use your body, this will excite and engage the audience. Don't rely on this, we're not clowns or mimes. But be aware of what you're doing, change it up and then change it again.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Steve's Guide To Getting Cut
Recently some close friends teams were cut from iO. This doesn't pertain to anything other than iO so I apologize in advance for the inclusive nature of this post. Suffice it to say at iO every two months a new schedule comes out. At this time some teams are cut, the people on those teams are put on a new team created at that time, put on existing teams, or cut entirely. FireCup was cut last year around this time and I posted about the experience then. Some thoughts and advise for my friends, and people in general, who get cut.
1. Don't be bitter. It's a waste of energy. You may have been on a team you loved. You may think you're great and weren't placed. Channel that energy into being a better improviser. Take getting cut as inspiration to try things you've never done, stretch yourself, play with abandon. Don't place blame. It shouldn't effect how you see yourself or how you perform. If you want to be an actor you're going to have thousands of people tell you you're not good enough or not right for a specific project. If this is something you want to do get use to rejection.
2. New Team. If you get placed on a new team come at it with an open mind. Don't place judgement on it before you start it. You may feel raw from getting cut which is understandable. Don't bring that angst or that emotion into the new team. Come at it fresh and open, like you would to a scene, it'll pay much more dividends that way. Who knows it could be the next great team. At the very least it'll be a learning experience, as is most everything.
3. No Team. If you don't get put on a team that doesn't define you or your improv. If you love it no one can ever stop you from doing what you love other than yourself. Being on a team here or a team there doesn't define you. What defines you is what you love. If you nurture a love for this art form you should always do it, no one can stop you. Getting cut shouldn't make you 'give up.' Giving up might prove you were never meant to do it in the first place. I don't mean that to be harsh but some things are hobbies and some things are how you define yourself. I'd rather improvise with someone who loves it not someone whose hobby it is, like a fantasy football league.
4. Confidence. One of the most important traits of any actor or improviser is confidence. Live it, play with it, and let nothing shake it. I've known since I was in third grade I was a performer. Something small like getting cut doesn't change that. You're just as good and as talented as you were last month, as you will be next month. It's just a matter of what you're doing and where.
5. Don't Take It Personal. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes, some of it is politics, that's to be expected. Someone's attitude, judgement, or perception of you does not define you. You are great, you are interesting and important. Take a moment and do something you've wanted to do for a long time but didn't have the time to do. Go out, refuel your cruise, and come back.
With A Vengeance.
1. Don't be bitter. It's a waste of energy. You may have been on a team you loved. You may think you're great and weren't placed. Channel that energy into being a better improviser. Take getting cut as inspiration to try things you've never done, stretch yourself, play with abandon. Don't place blame. It shouldn't effect how you see yourself or how you perform. If you want to be an actor you're going to have thousands of people tell you you're not good enough or not right for a specific project. If this is something you want to do get use to rejection.
2. New Team. If you get placed on a new team come at it with an open mind. Don't place judgement on it before you start it. You may feel raw from getting cut which is understandable. Don't bring that angst or that emotion into the new team. Come at it fresh and open, like you would to a scene, it'll pay much more dividends that way. Who knows it could be the next great team. At the very least it'll be a learning experience, as is most everything.
3. No Team. If you don't get put on a team that doesn't define you or your improv. If you love it no one can ever stop you from doing what you love other than yourself. Being on a team here or a team there doesn't define you. What defines you is what you love. If you nurture a love for this art form you should always do it, no one can stop you. Getting cut shouldn't make you 'give up.' Giving up might prove you were never meant to do it in the first place. I don't mean that to be harsh but some things are hobbies and some things are how you define yourself. I'd rather improvise with someone who loves it not someone whose hobby it is, like a fantasy football league.
4. Confidence. One of the most important traits of any actor or improviser is confidence. Live it, play with it, and let nothing shake it. I've known since I was in third grade I was a performer. Something small like getting cut doesn't change that. You're just as good and as talented as you were last month, as you will be next month. It's just a matter of what you're doing and where.
5. Don't Take It Personal. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes, some of it is politics, that's to be expected. Someone's attitude, judgement, or perception of you does not define you. You are great, you are interesting and important. Take a moment and do something you've wanted to do for a long time but didn't have the time to do. Go out, refuel your cruise, and come back.
With A Vengeance.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Steve's Guide To Relationships
1. Communication- Talk about it. If you're upset, if something is bothering you, if you're not getting something you want. You have to let your partner know. They can't read your mind. They could do something that irritates or upsets you and not even know it. If you are about to make a big decision or a small decision, bring them in on your decision before it's made. It doesn't affect just you anymore. Make sure to talk about your feelings and expectations, you always want to be on the same page.
2. Compromise- One person shouldn't dominate the relationship. You shouldn't always do what one person wants to do. One person likes movies, the other person likes concerts, then alternate. One person likes to be social, the other person is a homebody, alternate. It can even be as simple as going out to eat. One person likes to try new restaurants, the other person likes to go to the same 3 places, mix it up. Both parties in a relationship should be happy. Sometimes it happens naturally, other times you have to work on it and that's ok. Even beneficial. You get out of your comfort zone and do things that you don't normally do, and you do it with someone you care about.
3. Sex- Talk about it. Talk about what you like and what you want. Relationships usually start off hot and heavy and then cool off. That's ok. People range from hyper sexual to asexual, so after the honeymoon period you have find out where you and your partner fall in that spectrum. If, for example, you have a long period of time without being sexual and you want to be but your partner doesn't seem to be interested, talk about it. It may seem weird or make you feel uncomfortable but talking about it is better then getting so frustrated you do something you'd regret. Also there's nothing wrong with wanting to try things that are out of the norm. If you have a particular kink that you want to try or that turns you on, bring it up. And to quote Dan Savage, a partner should be GGG within reason(good, giving, and game).
4. Friends- You don't have to be best friends with your partners friends but make an effort to hang out with them once in a while and get to know them. Your partner cares about you and wants their friends to know how great you are. You don't want to be 'X's boyfriend/girlfriend' you want them to know who you are.
5. Family- At a certain point you should meet your partner's family if you can. Don't look at it as a pressure situation or an obligation. Look at it like an opportunity to get to know a greater context for your partner. Where they come from. And who knows they could be super awesome!
6. Separate Lives- Have a life that's outside of your partners life. Whether it be work, a hobby, or friends. There's nothing that can aggravate a relationship more than spending too much time together. Spending time together is great of course, that's why your in the relationship. But make sure to have some alone time once a week, make sure to go out with friends without your partner. If you have separate apartments don't spend the night together every night. If you don't see your partner for a day or two you're going to be that much more excited when you do see them.
2. Compromise- One person shouldn't dominate the relationship. You shouldn't always do what one person wants to do. One person likes movies, the other person likes concerts, then alternate. One person likes to be social, the other person is a homebody, alternate. It can even be as simple as going out to eat. One person likes to try new restaurants, the other person likes to go to the same 3 places, mix it up. Both parties in a relationship should be happy. Sometimes it happens naturally, other times you have to work on it and that's ok. Even beneficial. You get out of your comfort zone and do things that you don't normally do, and you do it with someone you care about.
3. Sex- Talk about it. Talk about what you like and what you want. Relationships usually start off hot and heavy and then cool off. That's ok. People range from hyper sexual to asexual, so after the honeymoon period you have find out where you and your partner fall in that spectrum. If, for example, you have a long period of time without being sexual and you want to be but your partner doesn't seem to be interested, talk about it. It may seem weird or make you feel uncomfortable but talking about it is better then getting so frustrated you do something you'd regret. Also there's nothing wrong with wanting to try things that are out of the norm. If you have a particular kink that you want to try or that turns you on, bring it up. And to quote Dan Savage, a partner should be GGG within reason(good, giving, and game).
4. Friends- You don't have to be best friends with your partners friends but make an effort to hang out with them once in a while and get to know them. Your partner cares about you and wants their friends to know how great you are. You don't want to be 'X's boyfriend/girlfriend' you want them to know who you are.
5. Family- At a certain point you should meet your partner's family if you can. Don't look at it as a pressure situation or an obligation. Look at it like an opportunity to get to know a greater context for your partner. Where they come from. And who knows they could be super awesome!
6. Separate Lives- Have a life that's outside of your partners life. Whether it be work, a hobby, or friends. There's nothing that can aggravate a relationship more than spending too much time together. Spending time together is great of course, that's why your in the relationship. But make sure to have some alone time once a week, make sure to go out with friends without your partner. If you have separate apartments don't spend the night together every night. If you don't see your partner for a day or two you're going to be that much more excited when you do see them.
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