The Numbers For 2015

For the third year in a row I went 365 days without a drink.

I went on 3 vacations. To LA(to visit Alex), Denver(to visit Beanpole), and The Badlands(with Nicole on the motorcycle).

I was laid off for the 1st time and spent 2 months unemployed.

I started 1 new job.

I did 54 shows with Deep Schwa.

I did 47 shows with Sight Unseen.

The Night Shift had 2 shows and retired.

I conceived and co-wrote 2 plays. Contention and My Two Sons which had 12 and 11 performances respectively.

I released 6 episodes of my podcast Hindsight Hour which constituted the first season.

I wrote 62 poems, 10 essays, and did 15 readings.

I applied to 4 graduate schools for poetry.

I saw 76 movies in the theater.

I read 33 books, my favorite of which was The Fifth Head of Cerberus by Gene Wolfe

I went to 2 author readings.

I went to 0 concerts.

I went to 1 opera.

I went to 0 funerals.

I went to 1 wedding.

Nicole and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary. Some days were tough, some were easy, we loved each other every day.

Trudging Through Slush

Not quite rain
not quite sleet
wind burnt face
cold wet feet.

Every step
another puddle
sucking sludge
what a struggle.

The mild winter
played me false
now I'm stuck
in this cruel squall.

Home soon
I dare to hope
until then
I frown and mope.

'Chi-Raq' A Review

Chi-Raq is a musical dramedy from writer/director Spike Lee based on the Greek classic Lysistrata. The film opens on a series of statistics explaining the origin of the Chicago nickname Chi-Raq given because the number of murders in the city out numbered the casualties in the Iraq War. We're then taken to a concert by rapper and Spartan gang leader Chi-raq(Nick Cannon) where a shooting takes place with rival gang the Trojans. Later in the evening while Chi-raq and his girlfriend Lysistrata(Teyonah Parris) are in bed the Trojan's set fire to the house. In a retaliatory drive-by a young girl is killed in the cross fire. This causes Lysistrata to gather the women of the neighborhood together and institute a sex strike until the violence is stopped.

The film's dialogue is mostly in verse which the cast mostly owns and brings life to. There is a pleasantly surprising amount of, unadvertised, star power with big names in main roles as well as a long series of cameos from great actors. Parris as the lead has the most work to do and does so with a grace and depth on which the film hinges, she handles the periodically clunky dialogue with confidence, her empathy and determination give the character a captivating power. Cannon as the titular character gives an unexpectedly decent performance easily the highlight of his varied career. Samuel L. Jackson as the perpetually amused narrator adds a much needed sense of play with some of the few comic moments that actually work. Although in a supporting role as a local pastor John Cusack's politically charged funeral sermon is easily the best scene in the film.

The tone of the film is kind of all over the place, the satire and the blue-balls humor rarely work, but even so the drama, the story, the message is clear and powerful. Chi-Raq is Lee's best film in years, the most charged and galvanizing, more akin to Bamboozled and Do The Right Thing than any of his recent work. But there is an element of optimism in the film that is new. The film lays out the brutal realities of gun violence in Chicago(and the country), the political and social challenges facing minorities and the poor, and offers some solutions, some specific some general. Ultimately the message of the film is inclusion and love, of community, of the promise of potential. It's about kindness and care and consideration.

Imperfect but potent, inspiring and playful, a call to action.

See It.

'The Hateful Eight' A Review

The Hateful Eight is a western from writer/director Quentin Taratino. Wyoming, sometime in the 1870's, a stage coach roles across a mountainous snow covered landscape. Major Marquis Warren(Samuel L. Jackson) sits atop three corpses he is taking in for bounty in the middle of the road. The stage coach stops and Warren convinces John Ruth(Kurt Russell), who has wanted murderer Daisy Domergue(Jennifer Jason Leigh) in custody, to give him a ride. They also pick up the son of a former confederate officer Chris Mannix(Walton Goggins) as they make their way through an intense blizzard. The weather forces the coach to stop and hold up in the only place around Minnie's Haberdashery.

Although the film is based around an ensemble as we get deeper into the run time it becomes evident Jackson's Maj Warren is the lead. Jackson gives a complicated electric performance, balancing humor, cruelty, and honor. The most meaty role Jackson's had in years and he proves age has only complimented his already considerable talent. Tim Roth as Oswaldo Mobray is the other stand out playing his mysterious Englishmen with a frenetic relish that is magnetic. The entire cast gives great performances, fully formed, mysterious, and engaging with the sole exception of Channing Tatum who seems a bit out of his league.

The 70mm film offers gorgeous sweeping panoramics contrasted with lush vivid interiors. Depth and focus are utilized to compelling effect, the immaculate shot composition is almost balletic especially apparent in moments of confrontation. The orchestral score serves to heighten the already cohesive and inclusive world. These production elements serve to amplify the theatricality of the film creating a complete movie-going experience, one not only narratively satisfying and entertaining but a unique cinematic event.

Sharp evocative film making technique, gleefully rich performances, a dark gripping frontier tale.

See It.

Newman

Every year Matt comes back to Chicago for Christmas with his in-laws. Almost every year he takes a day to come down and visit with me and play with Schwa. We met in level 1 at iO back in '07 and have been friends and collaborators ever since.

Matt moved to Richmond in '09 to open his own improv theater: Coalition Theater. I've been out there to visit about once a year since he moved. When we get together we catch up about friends and family but mostly talk a lot of improv shop.

The show tonight was great, Matt's played with Schwa about half-a-dozen times or so at this point and whenever he plays he fits in seamlessly. We had a sold out house, the show was high energy and a lot of fun. We all had a great time. It's really satisfying to get to share that with Matt, despite our divergent paths both personal and creative, despite the distance, our friendship remains strong and continues to evolve. For that I'm very grateful.

Nicole's Bday

Today was Nicole's birthday. Usually she's with her family in Florida because of its proximity to Christmas, this was the first time in a number of years she was in Chicago for it. We had a great day. She opened her presents, we went out for dinner at our favorite Italian place, had cake and ice cream, and watched Magic Mike XXL.

It reminded me how important it is to take action, however small, to show how much the special people in your life mean to you. A birthday cake, a thoughtful note, a bouquet of flowers whatever. Words are great but sometimes doing a little something extra makes all the difference.

Nicole means the world to me, it meant a lot to be able to spend her birthday with her. To do a couple things to make her feel special, a partial expression of the ocean of feelings I have for her.

Xmas 2015

This year Nicole came back to Rockford with me to celebrate Christmas. It was great to be together during the holiday, our first since we've been dating. There was also some exciting family news which made the weekend extra special and celebratory.

In years past my extended family would get together for pizza fondue(a long standing tradition) on Christmas Eve and then do our own thing on Christmas Day. In recent years this has kind of changed due to kids, marriages, and scheduling. This Eve our evening was relatively intimate with Mom and Dad, Marta and Nick, Nicole and myself, and our cousin Adam. We had a nice low key celebration. I made the pizza fondue and although it was a bit too cheesy it was still a nice meal. We exchanged presents and every seemed happy.

Today my aunts, cousins, and grandma came over and we had a casual dinner and just hung around and chatted. Nothing spectacular but as time goes on it becomes more clear the important thing is simply spending time together, catching up and enjoying each others company. There's a history with family, something unshakable and solid, a love that transcends time and distance.

All in all a great holiday with a wonderful family.

Ever Elusive

For a time its easy
days and weeks of simple sleep
a stretch so long
I almost forget the old foe
waiting in the bedroom gloom
our protracted armistice
lulled me into complacency.

But the night comes
as inevitable as breakfast or bathroom breaks
when Morpheus is no where to be found
I lie awake
and toss and turn
and see the ones I've wronged
in the shadowed corners and late night fog.
All, at this point, rote- but haunting still.

And as the passing minutes turn to hours
and I calculate my dwindling slumber
I realize in some small way I've missed it
like heartache which lingers so long it becomes
companionable.
I missed my old friend
Insomnia
because it was with me for so long
and because
it was mine.

Graffiti 189

"One of the things that I tell beginning writers is this: If you describe a landscape, or a cityscape, or a seascape, always be sure to put a human figure somewhere in the scene. Why? Because readers are human beings, mostly interested in human beings. People are humanists. Most of them are humanists, that is." -Kurt Vonnegut

"You cannot, in human experience, rush into the light. You have to go through the twilight into the broadening day before the noon comes and the full sun is upon the landscape." -Woodrow Wilson

"Life is like a landscape. You live in the midst of it but can describe it only from the vantage point of distance." -Charles Lindbergh

"I live in a landscape, which every single day of my life is enriching." -Daniel Day-Lewis

'Brooklyn' A Review

Brooklyn is a period drama about an Irish woman immigrating to the US in 1952. At the urging of her sister Rose(Fiona Glascott) Eilis(Saoirse Ronan) leaves a small town in Ireland, Enniscorthy, for gainful employment and potential opportunity in the US. After initially struggling with homesickness Eilis eventually finds her footing, becoming comfortable at her job, befriending her housemates, enrolling in night classes, and meeting a charming Italian man Tony(Emory Cohen). Her new life is jeopardized when a family emergency calls her back to Ireland and she reconnects with a former classmate Jim(Domhnall Gleeson).

The film's performances oscillate between dramatic realism and corny melodrama. Ronan as the lead gives a wonderful almost lyrical performance as Eilis however emotional moments that would work better with a soft hand are played with such force they become unbelievable, seemingly not a fault of Ronan or any of the other actors but more a directing issue.

The stakes of the film are small and, other than the moments of melodrama, played with a restrained pastoral understatement. This is more an immigrant fairy tale in an idealized 1950's New York as opposed to anything that approaches historical reality. We see this woman make a big leap, come into her own, then face a hard choice. But there is never a point where she is actually in danger, there is almost nothing in the film that can actually be called conflict, there is nothing much to latch onto. In short the film is incredibly safe and despite Ronan's excellent turn almost text book Oscar bait.

Pleasant but not challenging. Romantic but not realistic.

Rent It.

'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' A Review

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is the long awaited and much hyped sequel/reboot of the Star Wars franchise. Thirty years after Luke, Leia, and Han helped put the Empire to bed for good The First Order has risen from its ashes to once again threaten the galaxy. After a failed attempt to reestablish the Jedi Order Luke Skywalker has disappeared. At the order of General Leia pilot Poe Dameron(Oscar Issac) along with his faithful droid BB-8 undertake a dangerous mission to desert planet Jakku in order to recover a clue to Skywalker's whereabouts. Enter capable loner and scavenger Rey(Daisy Ridley) who seems to have an affinity for the force. Enter defected Stormtrooper Finn(John Boyega) who is jarred out of his prescribed role by unexpected morality and emotion. Enter Kylo Ren(Adam Driver) angsty Dark Side acolyte and Darth Vader devotee. The old generation meets the new.

It is gratifying simply to see the characters we know and love again after so long away- Chewy, C3PO, R2D2, Leia, Luke, Han, and a parade of past character cameos. But Harrison Ford is the one with the most screen time and who gives the best performance. During the intervening years Han has aged and changed, Ford plays this with the same wryness but with an emotional complexity unapparent previously. The three new stars put in good turns but there are moments where it becomes apparent they are out of their depth, they are also a bit hamstrung by the fact this first installment in a new trilogy is almost all set up for its new leads.

Visually the film is fun and alluring. Enough homage is paid to the original trilogy but there is still clear progression with technology and world building. We have the clear sense that it is the galaxy far far away and that time has passed. We are familiar but there is enough originality and surprise to keep us engaged. The John Williams score has a similar effect, evoking the original Star Wars but updating and weaving in something new.

With a plot almost identical to A New Hope The Force Awakens offers nostalgic delight with the promise of freshness to come. This seems fair given the course correction required after the bizarre thematic and narrative detour taken during the prequels however future installments in this new age of Star Wars may suffer if they fall victim to the same story rehashing as this inaugural chapter.

Great action, fun but familiar story, a necessary return-to-form.

See It.

Graffiti 188

"Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble." -Yehuda Berg

"The new midlife is where you realize that even your failures make you more beautiful and are turned spiritually into success if you became a better person because of them. You became a more humble person. You became a more merciful and compassionate person." -Marianne Williamson

"Let us be a little humble; let us think that the truth may not perhaps be entirely with us." -Jawaharlal Nehru

"The true mystic is always both humble and compassionate, for she knows that she does not know." -Richard Rohr

Tis The Season

Every city has a pulse. And Chicago's, normally a steady thrumming pump, has quickened with the advent of advent. The weather too, the unseasonable chill never dipping into freeze, has kept things lively. Contented citizens and gawking tourists visiting movie houses, admiring store windows, and that inevitable seasonal past time- shopping.

The streets alive with bodies, like blood vessels coursing through concrete gridded veins. Such opened faced wonder and naked joy on display. What startling humanity. What hope. I don't have the heart to urge caution on these exultants.  O' me, O' life. To glimpse what we could be.

'The Big Short' A Review

The Big Short is a dramedy about the 2007 housing crisis based on the 2010 book of the same name. Ex-neuroscientist and creator of Scion Capitol Michael Burry(Christian Bale) predicts the housing bubble will burst and creates then invests in credit default swaps based on this eventuality. Trader Jared Vennett(Ryan Gosling) hears about these unorthodox trades and solicits FrontPoint investment group headed by anti-establishment chronic rager Mark Baum(Steve Carrell) to do the same. The third group is a small investment group formerly based out of a garage who ropes in former Wall Streeter Ben Rickett(Brad Pitt) to also invest in credit default swaps. The film follows these three groups as they discover the bubble, research it, come up against the unwillingness of the financial industry to recognize the impending crisis, and its eventual fallout.

Across the board the ensemble cast puts in big but authentic energized performances appropriate for the freneticism of the financial industry, the main cast is not only star studded but the supporting cast is a parade of notable character actors and playful cameos. Bale and Carrell are the most intriguing and fully formed. Bale as the socially awkward numbers wiz and Carrell as the conflicted moral crusader are the heart of the film providing an emotional arc and guiding light in the otherwise morally bankrupt situation. Among the cadre of excellent actors Jeremy Strong was the surprise as Vinnie one of Baum's employees, incredibly committed and magnetic.

The film does a great job of balancing humor and clarity of circumstance, the situation by nature is complicated and much time is spent on elucidating the convoluted mess with alacrity. Film technique is on full display with cuts, stills, breaking of the fourth wall, narration etc. in order to create a palatable and entertaining film out of a situation that can seem hopeless and depressing.

More drama than comedy, faced paced, elucidating and enjoyably erratic.

See It.

Coke Zero

A thick
and inky
fizzy black,
friend to
alcoholics
in recovery-
refreshment
security
and companion.

O'
stalwart fellow
during this
parade
of holiday
obligations
your fidelity
will be
my assurance.

On Winter's Margin

On winter's margin, see the small birds now
With half-forged memories come flocking home
To gardens famous for their charity.
The green globe's broken; vines like tangled veins
Hang at the entrance to the silent wood.

With half a loaf, I am the prince of crumbs;
By time snow's down, the birds amassed will sing
Like children for their sire to walk abroad!
But what I love, is the gray stubborn hawk
Who floats alone beyond the frozen vines;
And what I dream of are the patient deer
Who stand on legs like reeds and drink the wind;-

They are what saves the world: who choose to grow
Thin to a starting point beyond this squalor.
-Mary Oliver

Graffiti 187

“Sometimes "No" is the kindest word.” -Vironika Tugaleva''

“We must say "no" to what, in our heart, we don't want. We must say "no" to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say "no" to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else's. We must say “no.”  -Suzette Hinton

"Alone! Alone! No beacon, far or near! No chart, no compass, and no anchor stay!" -Ada Cambridge

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader." -Robert Frost

In Defense Of Smoking

Although
I do not argue
it is a distasteful
habit.

We all
have our vices-
both man, mouse,
and rabbit.

IAWL

Last night was the annual It's A Wonderful Life party/screening organized by the Scotts. A great night with tons of friends and family in one room, sharing one experience. I enjoy the holidays but haven't felt really swept up in the spirit of the season since I was a kid.

Tonight however I really felt a profound wave of joy and gratitude. Before the movie started a singing group and Santa lead the crowd in carols, something I typically wouldn't be that into, but for whatever reason I joined in and sang my heart out. Sitting next to my loving girlfriend being entertained and enlivened.

A lovely evening and event to share with a theater full of friends and open-hearted strangers.

'Macbeth' A Review

Macbeth is the story of a Scottish general who would be king, an adaptation of the Shakespeare classic. The film opens on the death of a child and then a battle which are only expositionally referred to in the play. With the first scene the tone is set, periodic slow motion,saturated cinematography, and a haunting score serve to enhance the compelling language of the bard in this story of bloody ambition and madness. Hardened soldier Macbeth(Michael Fassbender) plots with his wife Lady Macbeth(Marion Cotillard) to kill the King and usurp his position.

The cast feels authentic, part of the bleak and beautiful landscape where honor, ambition, and revenge have real dimension. Fassbender and Cotillard excel as the two leads, relishing their scenes and siloquees, bringing a fresh and new perspective to the classic material. Their chemistry does leave a bit to be desired, although not flat the sparks fly not in scenes together but with other characters. Paddy Considine as Banquo, Sean Harris as Macduff, and the Weird Sisters also put in exceptional performances bringing a compelling humanity to the challenging source material.

The film takes advantage of its medium and shows scenes that are only referred to in the play, it also takes a number of liberties with some interpretations, these flourishes pay off, the story of Macbeth is the same as it ever was but there's a freshness and an edge to this adaptation that makes it unique. The visuals are rich and dynamic, the score eerie, and the production design grand and tragic.

An intense and vibrant modern adaptation of a classic.

See It.

Dave Maher Coma Show

Last year Dave was in a diabetic coma for a month, currently at the Annoyance he's performing Dave Maher Coma Show a comedic exploration of that experience and its aftermath. Dave has a singular and compelling voice: funny, insightful, at times righteously indignant, and ultimately inspiring. It's entertaining and affirming to spend an hour with him as he recounts his incredible, miraculous return from the brink.

Dave alternates effortlessly between comedy and drama, taking the audience through the painful and terrifying realities of coming out of a coma while never loosing an inherent therapeutic humor, never falling into despair, always focusing on the bewildering and wonderful fact of his recovery. The show is funny, yes, no question, but more than that it is uplifting, illuminates how precious and precarious life can be. Instills hope that perhaps everything will be OK.

Dave has gotten some great and well-deserved press about the show in the Tribune, The Reader, and Gapersblock. You can follow him a Twitter here. One more show Friday the 18th.

Assigning Value

Most of the improvisers in Chicago are not paid. Many of the various artistic disciplines are unpaid in Chicago and elsewhere until you reach a certain echelon of success, the goal for many practitioners is simply to make a living from their creative work. This is all to say as a Chicago improviser, or artist in general, there comes a point between study and success where you must place value on your own time and work even though you are not receiving monetary compensation.

A couple years back I found myself, by my own design, on a number of improv teams with shows or rehearsals every night of the week. At a certain point I found myself creatively unfulfilled, as gratifying as improv can be there is no end result, no actual product, it is ephemeral and evaporates shortly after it is performed. So I started to scale back on my improv commitments, wrote more, focused on projects that were more clearly defined. Weighed the personal and artistic merit of the various things I became involved in. As I became more appraising I was increasingly more satisfied with the work that I was doing.

It can be difficult to say no. In general and more specifically what I'm talking about here, people directly or indirectly soliciting your involvement in various artistic ventures. But it behooves you not to over commit, not to blindly say yes to something without gauging in some way the artistic challenge and the potential for satisfaction(i.e. FUN) that can be derived. Boundaries are important and applying value to yourself and your abilities is important. It is not selfish, it is a way to continue to progress, grow, and move forward both as an artist and a person.

'The Forbidden Room' A Review

The Forbidden Room is a French Canadian silent movie/early film inspired montage comedy-drama. Book-ended by an odd commercial like sequence "How To Take A Bath" the film then moves into a submarine, a sailor on the sub tells a story, someone in the story has a dream, on and on spinning off into various loosely connected vignettes eventually circling back to the submarine for a series of climaxes to bring a semblance of resolution to the non-narrative piece.

Tonally the film is a collage of styles, at points silent with title cards, alternatively allegory, farce, melodrama, and parody. The over-the-top comedic performances seem totally incongruous with some of the heightened and dramatic situations, incompatible with the care and singular visual quality of the film. The various sequences are almost all monochromatic and the shots and cuts create an ethereal dream-like quality. The film is so packed with ideas and technique it walks the line between beauty and indecipherable mess.

The artifice and creativity of the film is unarguable, as far as conception it is incredibly unique. There is however a glaring and disheartening misogyny on display. Of the thirty plus cast members the majority of the men are past middle age and the majority of the women are in their twenties. The majority of the women in the film appear fully nude at various points. All the women in the film fill one of three roles- mother, wife/girlfriend, or object of sexual desire. This could be through some specific intention of the filmmakers, if so it is not apparent. The portrayal of women in the film is antiquated and offensive. The film not only utilizes silent film craft but has parroted the gender dynamics of that bygone time period.

Artistically layered, socially bankrupt.

Don't See It.

Go The Distance

I love movies,
the multiplex is my place of worship
and escape.
The alter where I place my sacrifice of time.

My father
who instilled in me a love of cinema
in his old age has lost much interest and patience
in stories on the silver screen.

We went to Creed
our first shared sojourn
since 2008's Taken
where he alternately dozed off and checked his watch.

But this continuation of the Rocky saga
this installment in American mythology
this distillation of our country's dreams and ideals
captured the heart and mind of my father and I.

Together we shared
this celebration of determination, perseverance,
and potential.
Together we wept and were inspired.

Something I thought no longer possible.

Graffiti 186

"An artist or writer is the closest thing in the contemporary world to a shaman." -Alan Moore

"Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin." -Simone Schwarz-Bart

"When there is pain, there are no words. All pain is the same." -Toni Morrison

"Luxury is the wolf at the door and its fangs are the vanities and conceits germinated by success. When an artist learns this, he knows where the danger is." -Tennessee Williams

'Creed' A Review

Creed is a sports drama a sequel/spin-off in the Rocky series. The film opens in 1998 on Apollo Creed's(Rocky's opponent turned friend, killed in Rocky IV) illegitimate son, Adonis Johnson(Michael B. Jordan) fighting in juvenile detention. We learn he's an orphan bouncing from group home to institution. Enter Apollo's widow Mary Ann(Phylicia Rashad) who takes him in. In the present we see Adonis working for a high-end brokerage firm, on the weekends he throws himself into sketchy boxing competition in Mexico. He quits his job to pursue boxing full time and travels to Philadelphia to seek out his father's old friend- Rocky Balboa(Sylvester Stallone)- to train him.

With the current glut of sequels, remakes, spin-offs, reboots, and franchises it would be easy to dismiss Creed as just more of the same, a nostalgia cash grab. The reality couldn't be further from the truth. The film is fresh and modern with a great lead performance by Jordan while seamlessly and authentically incorporating the story of Rocky. Stallone as Rocky is almost better than he has ever been, the character of Rocky is aged, with still the same charm and practical knowledge we've come to know and love but now with an increasing complexity. All his contemporaries are dead, the vitalic determination that has defined him is waning. The chemistry between Jordan and Stallone is natural and magnetic, both entirely committed to story and character. They are, above all, sincere. There is no hint of irony or winking and because of that it is completely effective. Tessa Thompson as Bianca Adonis's love interest is fully flushed out with her own life and aspirations, a good foil for Jordan if somewhat under utilized.

The soundtrack is a combination/mashup of contemporary hip hop and the original Rocky score, weaving the old and new effortlessly, bringing the film to multiple emotional crescendos. The cinematography is vivid and fluid especially the boxing matches and the various training sequences which are cut expertly with the characters emotional journeys.

Like the original Rocky, Creed offers a distillation of the American experience- struggle, set back, and perseverance on the road to self discovery. It follows a similar structure but updates, embellishes, and adapts the story to reflect the current generation. The film is unabashedly inspirational and provides validation and catharsis.

Creed is not about boxing or success or fame it is about how we deal with life. How to face fear, stand up, and go the distance.

Don't Miss It.

Aldeen Park

I'm back in Rockford for the weekend visiting my folks. It's also my friend Adam's oldest boy's birthday. I haven't been back since July so this visit is long overdue.

One of the things I miss most about Rockford is the parks. I worked in a number of them as a camp counselor growing up. They're all large and beautiful. It's easy to get lost and forget you're in a city at all. When I got into town this afternoon I rode my motorcycle(one last ride) to Aldeen to hike around for a bit while there was still some light.

There's something incredibly peaceful about it. Something I'm always drawn back to.

ZooLights

After two winters of talking about it Nicole and I finally made it to ZooLights, the Christmas light display in the Lincoln Park Zoo.

The night was beautiful, crisp but not cold. The zoo was packed, tons of families and people getting in the spirit of the season.

It was a bit overwhelming.

Most of the street lights were out in the park which made the light displays all the more beautiful but the darkness was, at times, precarious.

All in all a wonderful evening. Nicole and I have been run a bit ragged the past couple weeks what with work and the holidays. A visit to the festive ZooLights was much needed and rejuvenating. Sometimes all you need to do is something a little different or unexpected and it makes all the difference.

Plateaus and Progress

The Sight Unseen show last night was the first time I felt really good about a show in a while. Not to say they have been bad, after you've been doing improv for a while you don't go below a certain degree of proficiency, and I'm lucky to be on teams with incredible talent, but I haven't felt particularly energized or inspired recently.

There was nothing terribly different about tonight's show save maybe that all of us were a bit more patient than usual. The piece had some interesting characters that we let develop, wove them together, and concluded in a satisfying way. For my part I felt a sense of immediacy that had been lacking the past couple weeks. More in the moment. I could see the moves before I made them, anticipate the trajectory of the scenes. Intuitively knew how to play the various emotional beats and execute the internal games. It felt great.

With improv and with creative pursuits in general you are on an increasing trajectory, that is- as long as you continue to work hard. They'll be times of stagnation, times of inspirational sterility. But during those times your ability doesn't dip below a certain level of skill, if you have been diligent your craft will always be there regardless of the level of your artistic energy. I've found that these times of torpidity come less and less frequently and that you cannot forces yourself out of them. Times of creative neutrality are natural and you come out of them simply over the course of time. The trick is to be OK with those times of lethargy, keep going through the motions, one step at a time, until inspiration reveals itself.

'Entertainment' A Review

Entertainment is an existential dark comedy about stand-up comedian Neil Hamburger(Gregg Turkington, billed simply as The Comedian) and his low profile tour of the southern California desert. The film opens on a show in a prison with Eddie(Tye Sheridan) opening for Hamburger with a clowning act. Hamburger in a dated tuxedo and plastered hair delivers his particular brand of stilted confrontational one-liners to the prisoners, easily the most receptive audience he plays to over the course of the film. What follows is a succession of increasing failures at progressively questionable venues, his performances are juxtaposed with long shots of Hamburger traversing the eerie landscape as well as surreal dream-like encounters.

Turkington as an incarnation of his long time stage persona Hamburger is incredibly emotional, desperate, and confused with eroding endurance. He navigates this pathetic tour with a sense of doom and finality that is compelling but ultimately unfulfilled. There is a parade of brief and fascinating interactions with individuals we are not sure are real but nothing actually happens. The film feels as if it is building towards something but ends on an ellipsis rather than a period.

The beautiful landscape pairs well with an almost supernatural score. The images and cuts are, at times, so muddled they evoke a drug trip or a dream. But the pace is so sedate this questioning of reality is never capitalized on or fully realized. After initial promise it becomes boring, the basic idea is simply repeated without any narrative or cinematic change.

A great performance and an interesting idea that don't evolve past the conceptual.

Rent It.

A Parable About Patience

There once was a man who worked for a large corporation.
The corporation was very powerful.
The man had worked there for a long time.
He was a good man.
He had ascended to a high position through hard work and a kind heart.
Although the company was not evil it was not good.
It had the potential to be good and the man did good wherever he could.
His boss was a bad man.
Corrupt, greedy, and cruel.
The boss would sabotage the man's work.
Force him to stay long hours.
Work on complicated projects with no chance of success.
The boss would berate the man at every opportunity.
Ridicule him, belittle him, revile him.
But the man persevered.
He did not let the aggression or loathing of his boss affect him.
He did not take it personally.
He did good work and made a difference.
Time passed.
One day the boss had a stroke and died.
The man became the new boss.
The corporation did great things.

'Heart Of A Dog' A Review

Heart Of A Dog is an experimental documentary by artist Laurie Anderson. The film centers on Anderson's late dog Lolabelle with spoken word meditations starting with the death of her pet branching out into Anderson's own childhood, 9/11 and the surveillance state, the Tibetan view of the after life, and various abstract montages.

The manipulated archive footage, stills, animation, and reenactments pair eerily with Anderson's breathy narration creating a contemplative, ethereal, and surprisingly funny tone. The film is more like a dream than anything resembling a narrative, gliding from topic to topic with long abstract transitions.

Visually the film is rich and saturated, more focused on the colors and images as a whole than what is in them be it people, animals, or structures. Much of the film is only partially in focus enhancing its dreamlike quality. The music pairs beautifully with the images and the narration producing something that is possibly better defined as a multi-media art piece rather than a movie.

Emotional, cryptic, and thought-provoking if a bit devoid of structure to its periodic disadvantage.

See It.

Graffiti 185

"Always say 'no pun intended' to draw attention to the intended pun." -Teju Cole

"From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere." -Dr. Seuss

"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself." -Doug Larson

"Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move." -Arthur Smith

A Fortuitous Meeting 2

Most of the day I was feeling slightly melancholic. For no particular reason I could discern, maybe the holiday aftermath, maybe simple fatigue. Whatever the cause I found myself lethargic and unable to dispel my gloom.

Nicole and I went to the movies, an activity which typically brightens my mood, and when the lights went down two people slunk in and sat in front of us. After a brief moment of frustration at having my view partially obstructed I recognized them. They were our friends Mike and Meg. It was such a pleasant and unexpected encounter, the movie was pretty out there so it was fun to watch them react and grab their shoulders at various points in consternation.

After the movie we went out to dinner, an impromptu double date. We talked, joked, ate, nothing spectacular just a really nice opportunity to spend some time together and gab. Over the course of the evening my mood lightened and eventually my blues dissipated completely.

Now I don't think our random encounter was divinely orchestrated but I do know that Mike and Meg came along when I needed to be shaken out of my apathy. Sometimes all it takes is getting out of the house and the universe does the rest. Although it is quite a small thing, two couples meeting unplanned at a movie, it felt like more than mere happenstance.

Discontent

Sadness would be easier to take
if it had sharper teeth
if it tore and pierced
instead of its slow
and plodding creep
like the abandoned
armchair
in your parents'
unfinished basement
quietly disintegrating
eaten but moths
and mold
unbeknownst to you
until you plop down
in its wetness
ill prepared, then resentful.

Friendsgiving

I have to work tomorrow so instead of heading back to Rockford Nicole and I stayed in Chicago for the holiday. This was the first time I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my family and although I missed them it was really nice spending the holiday with friends. Meaghan and Laura hosted a get together of about 18 improvisors, the company was great and the spread was assorted and delicious. While there were some half-hearted thanks given during dinner the conversation was predominately taken up with bits. So in order to reflect and stay grateful- a list.

I'm thankful for the temperate season,
for money in the bank and food in the fridge,
for movie theaters, book stores, and bodegas,
inspiration and the opportunity to give it form,
friendship in all its rejuvenating incarnations,
the unwavering loyalty of family,
and for the love and support of a great woman.

'Legend' A Review

Legend is a crime drama about the Kray twins in 1960's London. Reggie and Donald Kray(Tom Hardy) are the crime bosses of the East End as the film progresses, with the help of the American mafia, they gain control of the entire city of London. Reggie woos and marries local girl Frances(Emily Browning who also narrates) and attempts to keep his psychotic brother in check.

The plot is predictable and has the lackadaisical pacing of a pedestrian biopic. The film uses exhausted gangster troupes used to better effect in predecessors Scarface and Goodfellas but Hardy's dual performances elevates the conventional content beyond the formulaic. He soars as the unfettered Donald and grounds as the charming Reggie. Although the cast sports some significant talent the others are unable to shake the constraints of the script.

The soundtrack seems to be all period appropriate which inhibits its pacing, the trailer contained more contemporary and fevered scoring which was much more effective, pairing well with the violence in the film and Hardy's performances. The film itself relies solely on the momentum of Hardy to carry it along.

Unremarkable save for Hardy's magnetic performances.

Rent It.

One Down, Three To Go

After the Chicago comedian exodus of last year a lot of the people that remained were forced to assess where they were and where they wanted to go. I didn't and don't have any desire to move to one of the coasts to try and make it, but I realized I wanted to take my shot, take the next step forward and to me that meant grad school.

The past month and a half I've been getting together various items for applications to poetry MFA programs. It's been an intensive process- selecting poems, revisions, writing statements of purpose, securing letters of recommendation and transcripts. It's an odd experience, trying to represent yourself in an honest and succinct way in an effort to be accepted.

The application process lends itself to second-guessing and doubt, I've found that trying to anticipate and cultivate the image of a good applicant is tempting but ultimately useless. I don't know what these various institutions are really looking for and the truth is just as likely to get me in as something fabricated.

Today I submitted my first of four applications. Even if nothing comes of it it feels good to have set the goal and to follow through on it. Sometimes taking the action is more important than the result.

'The Night Before' A Review

The Night Before is a Christmas comedy about three friends who spend Christmas Eve partying and hanging out, a tradition started when Ethan's(Joseph Gordon-Levitt) parents were killed. Fourteen years in the friends have started to out grow their tradition Issac(Seth Rogen) is married, has a steady job, and a baby on the way. Chris(Anthony Mackie) is a successful professional athlete with a late blooming career(due to steroids, which feels a bit unnecessary) and burgeoning celebrity. Ethan is the odd man out, a perpetual Peter Pan who has just ruined a long term relationship with Diana(Lizzy Caplan) due to a refusal to meet her parents. After fourteen years the friends will have one final blow out and then put the tradition to rest.

Although JGL is the presumable protagonist Rogen almost naturally takes center stage, either because his performance is more believable or his story line more compelling, JGL is relegated to the sidelines by Rogen's energy and Mackie's casual compelling charm. Mackie's grace and comfort onscreen is inherently watchable no matter what the subject matter, he lands his jokes, he has heart, and the steroid subplot used to give him a "journey" is forced but not distractingly so. Jillian Bell as Issac's wife Betsy and Michael Shannon as weed-dealer/guardian-angel Mr. Green are the other two clear stand outs. Bell is funny, sweet, and supportive, an equal, a welcome departure from the over-bearing-shrew troupe, Shannon is going full on Cage in some bizarre but delightful amalgamation of stoner sage and Clarence from It's A Wonderful Life.

The soundtrack is awesome with a couple musical numbers in the film(a Big homage, Run–D.M.C. karaoke, and Miley Cyrus performing a modified Wrecking Ball). There is plenty of laughs and enough heart to satisfy everyone but the real pleasure of the film comes from its numerous and exciting surprises. A parade of fully flushed out supporting characters(most notably Ilana Glazer as the manic Grinch) bring an incredible amount of energy and momentum to a film that already has three charismatic leads.

Enough of the spirit to warm the heart, enough gags to flush the cheeks, a future cult classic.

See It.

Graffiti 184

"Any system against us is against the divine." -Saul Williams

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest." -Elie Wiesel

"Sometimes I think that I was forced to withdraw into depression because it was the only rightful protest I could throw in the face of a world that said it was alright for people to come and go as they please, that there were simply no real obligations left." -Elizabeth Wurtzel

"The new physics provides a modern version of ancient spirituality. In a universe made out of energy, everything is entangled; everything is one." -Bruce Lipton

Tech Savvy

It is an increasing expectation
to surmount the phone and its distraction.
To relate in the real
one must circumvent the digital.

What promise do coffee lines
and commuting hold
when compared to CG designs
and simulated adventure.
Endless information
near boundless influence
unrestricted interaction-
a prospect difficult to question.

But careful how far you recede
don't mistake facsimile for deed.
Plugging in can become a habit
barriers increasingly elaborate.

'Mockingjay Part 2' A Review

Mocking Jay Part 2 is the final installment in the Hunger Games series, a YA book trilogy adaptation. The film opens on Katniss Everdeen(Jennifer Lawerence) receiving medical treatment after her attack from the Capitol-brainwashed Peeta(Josh Hutcherson). The rebellion goes into its final stages with Katniss increasingly marginalized, the writing is on the wall and Katniss is no longer essential. As Peeta struggles with his sanity Katniss becomes more determined to go after President Snow herself.

The film gets a lot right but it is using inferior source material, without the construct of the games themselves and with the pressure of conclusion there is a percipient dip in quality of the final book and therefore this final adaptation. The ending is rushed, many of the characters turn on a dime, and the conclusion is incongruous with the whole arc of the lead.

All the actors do a fine job especially Lawerence and Hutcherson who are expected to make some swift and impossible emotional shifts. But there is a lack of social commentary and character development present in the previous installments. Even though there are some battles in the film it all feels like falling action.

Satisfying enough.

Rent It.

A Fable About Discipline

There once was a great tortoise
who was one thousand years old.
He lived on the beach.
Every hundred years he went for a swim.
And let the salted waves
carry him for a day
but no more.

It is thought
he knew something
we did not.

This was long ago.

Graffiti 183

Photo credit CR

“Rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.” -Thomas C. Foster

“Gazing from the moon, we see one earth, without borders, Mother Earth, her embrace encircling one people, humankind.” -Frederick Glaysher

"Moral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect." -Stephen Covey

GORP

In an effort
to avoid the temptation
of swedish fish
and peanut butter snickers
I made myself
a batch of trail mix
for each day
this work week-
dried cherries, salted almonds,
oats, honey, and yellow raisins.

The hope is
this high energy nosh
will propel me
through the doldrums
of insurance quotes
prickly mortgagees
and the banality
of hours spent with
computer, keyboard,
mouse and screen.

Content

Currently I'm still adjusting to my new job, working on grad school applications, and recording the second season of my podcast Hindsight Hour so I've been a little remiss in keeping this blog updated as my energy has been diverted elsewhere. In consolation here's a list of some of the stuff I've been watching that I've enjoyed recently that I would recommend.

Master Of None- Aziz Ansari's Netflix series is the Gen Y version of Louie. Each episode tackles a specific subject- gender, dating in the digital era, minorities in entertainment, LTRs etc.- and although it is funny there is a tone of introspection and commentary that is very refreshing.

The Comeback Kid- John Mulaney's new Netflix special is a really funny tightly crafted hour of comedy. After being consistently underwhelmed by him I was shocked at how much I enjoyed this

Ex Machina- Just came out on Amazon Prime, one of my favorite movies of the year.

The Wolfpack- Just released on Netflix, another one of my favorites of the year.

Once I get my grad school applications out I plan to return to posting content with a bit more inspiration.

'Spotlight' A Review

Spotlight is a drama about the Boston Globe Spotlight team which broke the Catholic Church cover-up of pedophile priests. The film opens on the Globe news room in July of 2001, a senior editor is retiring and a new executive editor Martin Baron(Liev Schreiber) is coming in to take the reigns. After a brief speech by Spotlight head Walter "Robby" Robinson(Michael Keaton) the camera follows him down to the basement office of Spotlight where we meet the team- Sacha Pfeiffer(Rachel McAdams), Michael Rezendes(Mark Ruffalo), and Matt Carroll(Brian d'Arcy James). In his first week Martin advises the Spotlight team to delve deeper into litigation spearheaded by eccentric lawyer Mitchell Garabedian(Stanley Tucci) against a priest for multiple counts of child molestation.

The ensemble cast is incredible. A clinic in realism and trust. The focus is on the process of journalism, the gradual unspooling of this complicated and difficult story. Hardly any time is spent on backstory or familial context for the core Spotlight team but through the basic fundamental procedure of journalism we get a clear and compelling sense of who the characters are. The performances from the four main team members are all fantastic with a nice surprise from James the only non-famous actor of the quartet. Schreiber also puts in a remarkable, understated performance and Tucci is more restrained(and believable) then he has been in years. All work together to create a compelling piece of cinema, by steering clear of overwrought emotions and melodrama and focusing on the nuts-and-bolts of reporting we get a glimpse of some astonishingly rich characters.

The cinematography isn't especially artful but the film is shot with patience, lingering on the reporters as they pour over books or wait in courtrooms, giving weight to not only the story they are endeavoring to break but how they do it.

There is one glaring problem with Spotlight and it is a lack of women. McAdams is excellent but she is essentially the only notable female in the entire film. An element of this gender imbalance surely comes from historical accuracy but even so in a film so methodical and sincere you expect a better solution than simple capitulation.

A wonderful, inspiring celebration of long-form investigative journalism. Dynamic, subtle performances.  A story that continues to resonate.

Don't Miss It.

Deactivate

This past week I deactivated my Facebook account. In most respects I'm not an opponent of the digital(love instagram) but I just found myself upset by it while also compulsively checking it. The world can be a cruel place, this isn't anything new, every day there are small and large scale tragedies happening and I think its important to be informed. However.

Overtime I've found the echo chamber, grandstanding, toothless nature of Facebook to be truly off putting. I agree that important information needs to be spread but posting and sharing takes so little effort and even less understanding that it lacks any real meaning. There is also this element of posturing, of narcissism about it all, cultivating a "compassionate" and "informed" digital persona, an element of "look at me I'm so enlightened" that is just exhausting. It propagates the illusion of involvement, of influence, of progress.

In my experience even if the content that is being shared is good and the sentiment accompanying it genuine it does not incite change, it is not actually participation in a political or social discourse. Petition signing, monetary donations to organizations, actual in-the-flesh protests/demonstrations, those have some actual stakes. Sharing a Huffpost article with your circle of friends who have the same beliefs as you doesn't actually do much.

Our culture is more partisan than it has ever been, beliefs more ingrained. There is little ground given in debate and discussion, minds rarely changed. This is no where more apparent then on Facebook where huge threads will develop from that one antagonistic conservative/liberal friend you have from high school/former co-worker/family member who tenaciously comments and uses incendiary language. No one is persuaded, everyone is angry. It's a zero sum game.

This all coupled with the fact that my checking Facebook had become habitual. Whenever I had downtime at work, at home, while commuting, a spare minute in line at Starbucks I'd check it even though it almost unilaterally intensified my boredom and caused me frustration. I couldn't stop I had built it into my muscle memory.

Now I don't say all this out of a sense of self-righteousness or superiority I just got tired of it, it made me feel bad. Social Media and digital technology is suppose to be helpful, make life easier, streamline communication, bring people together. At this point with it so ingrained in our day-to-day lives we have to police how successful it is for us, how much we get out of it, and decide if it is, in fact, useful.

It's important to remember that true change, inspiration, and tolerance are found in reality. Not in a What Disney Villain Are You quiz or 14 Vital Things You Don't Know About Syria article, as diverting as those things may be.

'Spectre' A Review

Spectre is the 24th installment of the James Bond franchise, the fourth with Daniel Craig as 007. Bond is, once again, going rouge with the imminent take over of MI6 by MI5. With a final mission from M(Judi Dench) to disobey M(Ralph Fiennes) and hunt down an international shadowy criminal organization that is seeking to make a global governmental digital alliance which it can exploit. Sound complicated? It is!

Craig's Bond is exhausted and uninspired. The two romantic trysts of Bond actually seem like sexual assault which makes his supposed "journey" to hopeful monogamist bewildering and offensive. At one point there is a close up of Craig's hand clasping the hand of 30-year-old co-star Léa Seydoux in which his numerous liver spots are visible highlighting their considerable age difference and how inappropriate and unbelievable the situation is. Craig was never the suave or funny Bond, he was the physical Bond, action focused. Which, again, makes this installment mystifying given he is roundly beaten in almost every encounter.

The plot is a recycled and re-purposed version of previous Bond movies, it is tired, tired, tired and totally incongruous with the previous Craig installments. Some of the ensemble put in decent performances but with a feeble script and a lead so checked-out he is almost non-existent there is not much that can be done.

Uninspired, lifeless, and dangerously out of touch.

Don't See It.

John Irving

Last night I went to an event at the library with John Irving. Chloe joined me and made it to downtown just as the event was starting. Last time Irving was in town was ten years ago promoting Until I Find You, we were at that event and it was in the same theater. Chloe brought her copy of Garp and in it was her ticket from the last time. Synergy. 

Although the event got off to somewhat of a rocky start, the interviewer seemed a bit dull and self involved, it quickly gained momentum. After the perfunctory reading Irving seemed to come alive, energized and talkative, he was gracious, comfortable, playful, and comically prickly, much more so then last time I saw him. He was more at ease and seemed to be relishing the performative aspect of the evening. He disparaged critics, expressed frustration with the progress of sexual politics, provided some reading recommendations, explained the somewhat ethereal process of where his characters come from, discussed his love of the theatre and how it informed his writing process, and even recited some King Lear and Richard III.

After his somewhat jarring introduction the interviewer was excellent, he asked Irving the right questions to get him talking and didn't interrupt, didn't back track to get his question precisely answered, created a place for Irving to talk at length about whatever he wanted to talk about, which is what we were all there to see. An inspiring evening.