Boundaries

When people talk about interpersonal relationships there is typically a lot of talk about boundaries. Creating boundaries for yourself and in regards to other people in order to cultivate the most healthy and fulfilling relationships possible. This kind of talk can sound pedantic or self-helpy but the reality is that we all do it to varying degrees we may just not be aware of it, it may be more instinctual than intentional. But with self knowledge and analysis this practice can be more deliberate and breed, ultimately, a happier life.

Setting boundaries doesn't mean icing someone out, doesn't mean keeping someone at arms length, it's about finding balance, about knowing your behaviors and how you react in situations. Then putting yourself in a position to be the best version of yourself not only for personal fulfillment and well being but for the benefit of people you interact with.

Saying no can be difficult. But overcommitting or committing to things you ultimately don't want to do is worse because you will inevitably bail or come to resent the thing you're doing or the person that asked you to do it. Being aware of your schedule, what time you need for yourself and actively advocating for that time is important. If you allot time for your needs you are more likely, more willing, and more engaged when people reach out to you. This is not only applicable to obligations or favors but simply spending time with people.

Your family may be loving but crazy, you may have that friend who's great but always wants to go out, you may be or have the kind of romantic partner who needs constant affirmation. What have you. Be aware of what you want and need in order to be content, be aware of what makes you angry and anxious, limit circumstances you suspect may be contentious or overly demanding. Create options for yourself when dealing with situations or people that could prove complicated.

Drawing clear delineations between things you are willing and unwilling to do and sticking to that is hard but will ultimately yield more personal contentment and richer interpersonal connections free(mostly) of guilt and resentment.