Heavy, vacuous, and stinking.
Countless times I stumbled
because of your ungainlyness.
Stairs especially
but sometimes even navigating chairs
would prove difficult
due to your graceless brick-like construction.
My poor pale feet
constantly chaffed
within your faux leather
and loose improper fit.
And the buckles!
Your inane fastenings
caused me incessant troubles,
the impracticality precipitating frequent tardiness.
Although you were devoid of pleasure,
comfort, and basic functionality
you were my work shoes four years running
and for that service I grant you grudging respect.
Goodbye doltish Skechers imitation motorcycle boots.
If I had a fireplace I'd burn you in it.
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