Confidence Of Youth

For a long time I thought I was invincible. I think that's normal for kids in their late teens and early twenties but I had that sense before then and long after. I've been in a lot of situations where I came away virtually unscathed. Car accidents, bike accidents, motorcycle accidents, fights, falls, cuts, burns, illness. No lasting damage, no broken bones, no real hurt. I did something real dumb today which made me realize that time in my life has passed.

I came home a couple hours ago and realized I had locked my keys in my apartment. I contacted my landlord but was told someone wouldn't be able to let me in for a couple hours. I figured, ok no biggie, maybe I can figure a way in while I wait.

There's an access door in the building to the roof and I have a balcony. I went up to the roof and looked over the edge, there's no real lip or anything, and my balcony was about 10-12 feet below. I swung my legs over the edge and thought. Didn't seem that far. I thought maybe I could dangle and cut the distance but there was really no place to grip. I distinctly remember the thought 'just do it' and I did. I slipped off the roof onto my balcony. I tumbled into a heap on my balcony after bruising my ankle. I almost said aloud "I'm too old for this shit." which I didn't because I thought that'd be dumb. I'm not old I'm 28. I limped inside found my keys and went about my day.

It was stupid and unnecessary. I'm not that badly hurt but it's an inconvenience. And I realized I am too old to be pulling stunts like that. My body certainly isn't deteriorating by any means but it doesn't have the bounce back capability that in once had. There's no need to risk but sometimes I find myself drawn to it.

Patience is something I still need to work on.