Alone Together

In her book Mating In Captivity Esther Perel talks about the evolution of marriage and the romantic relationship over the last hundred years or so. She posits, to grossly paraphrase, with more employment options for men and women, increased ease in geographic mobility, as well as more energy and importance given to professional success, familial and religious community has become less available and less important in adult life. With this comes the rise of the idea of a Soul Mate, someone who is not only your partner but your best friend, putting the pressure on one person to fulfill all your romantic, social, and intellectual needs.

She alleges this idea is one of the main problems in modern relationships, our singular lives breed isolation and so unfulfillable expectations are put on our romantic partners. This not only can strain or destroy a relationship it has also created a large single culture with individuals holding out for "the one", looking for mythical perfection. Without the support systems of a religious community and extended family Perel contends it is more important now to deliberately cultivate independent lives in conjunction with a shared partnership.

I was talking with a friend last week and they were talking about a fight they had with their significant other, the latest in a long series of them, where the partner was upset, in essence, about my friend being busy and not always being available when the partner wanted them. Coincidentally the partner has a job they don't like, no hobbies, and no real social life outside of the relationship. This is something I've dealt with in previous relationships and once you establish the pattern, seeing each other doing every day, spending all your time with each other, its hard to break out of that habit without one or both parties being hurt. That's not to say it can't be done but no relationship can survive that singular pressure and expectation of making the other person the solution. I have another friend who has at times expressed frustration, other times real gratification in how shared they and their spouse's lives are. They've said when they're alone they don't know what to do with themselves and it makes them anxious.

When talking about life my dad likes to use an analogy of a three legged stool. Family/Relationship, Profession, and Passion/Hobby. And says that ideally you got all three but it can stand with two, but with only one you'll fall. I think friendship is also integral part of that recipe. In a relationship the people can't be completely dependent on each other. People need individual interest, activities, and friends. Individual lives as well as a life for/through the partnership. Because those various avenues give structure and satisfaction that aren't dependent on one person who is by nature flawed, who is human. Having aspects of your life not dependent on your partner also creates space, and space creates desire(per Perel).

By having separate lives it actually strengthens the partnership, it gives it more value, keeps it alluring, prevents it from becoming rote. I'm not talking about compartmentalizing I'm talking about some measure of autonomy so in the event your significant other is busy you don't stay home, do nothing, and cook up a resentment. Having aspects of your life that don't necessarily involve your partner creates a fuller more diverse experience, a broader context, and we are the best partners when our lives are balanced between multiple facets rather than precariously perched on one sole recipient of our focus, energy, and expectation.

'The Lost City of Z' A Review

The Lost City of Z is a biographical adventure/drama based on the non-fiction book of the same name. The film follows Percy Fawcett(Charlie Hunnam) an early 20th century military man turned explorer on his various expeditions into the Amazon to find a lost city. It opens on a military ball where Fawcett with the help of his wife Nina(Sienna Miller) hopes to gain contacts in order to elevate his position. Although failing that he is later given a surveying mission in the Amazon. He's paired up with Henry Costin(Robert Pattison) who becomes his companion thereafter. On that first mission Fawcett discovers ancient artifacts which hint at a sophisticated society long buried. This becomes his life long obsession.

Hunnam in his first real meaty dramatic role delivers in spades. He shoulders the major burden of the film with ease and contrasts the single-mindedness of the character with a captivating vulnerability. Hunnam captures the weight of responsibility and yearning for the unknown which war within Fawcett. Finally free from the baggage of teen stardom Pattison gives the best performance of his career, barely recognizable with his huge beard and thick accent, grounded and authentic he perfectly balances the more dream-like turn of Hunnam. Miller, somewhat confined by the role of home-bound wife still captivates with her magnetism and empathy. The supporting cast are all wonderful with some portrayals natural and others more heightened which in concert provide a great backdrop for the leads. Most notably Angus Macfadyen as the deliciously pathetic and petulant James Murray,

After a string of well produced but tonal failures writer/director James Gray has managed a success, in fact a beautiful harmony. The film fluidly mixes and switches not only time and location but genre. It is part period drama, part adventure, part war film, part hallucinogenic spiritual crisis. And they all come together to form a coherent and compelling whole. Visually immaculate the film periodically cuts in abstract images, dreams, or the characters imaginings which could be distracting but turn out to be incredibly potent heightening the already impressive craft.

A film about freedom, duty, and passion that reaches for something beyond.

Don't Miss It.

Seeing Linda Vista At Steppenwolf

Sitting in the theater
while the actors bash Trump
and praise Obama
not to mention
the graphic sex scenes
featuring extensive nudity
its hard not to notice
the sea of white haired
season ticket holders
that surround us
and wonder what they think
of Tracy Lett's latest.

Perhaps they resent
the blatant liberalism
or perhaps
it gives them a secret thrill
their tolerance and progressivism
something to laud
over their provincal peers
its hard to tell
given they are mostly silent
or obviously dosing.

As for all the flesh on display
I can't help but speculate,
how many will reach
for that small blue diamond pill
upon returning home-
Enlivened by the magic of live theatre.

'Born To China' A Review

Born To China is a Disney nature documentary which follows four different animals in China- snow leopard Dawa, giant panda Ya Ya, golden snub-nosed monkey Tao Tao, and a herd of chiru. The film follows each group through five seasons. Beautiful panoramas and intimate footage of the subjects make for an interesting if not particularly fresh nature doc.

There are many gorgeous shots and cute and compelling moments of the animals, it is in essence exactly what you would expect. John Krasinski's narration is somewhat distracting as it seems a little out of place but its functional. Because it's Disney the film doesn't really attempt to go below the surface, everything is mostly pleasant and kid-friendly. Good but does not distinguish itself against well produced NatGeo shows.

Pleasant and unchallenging.

Rent It.

'Free Fire' A Review

Free Fire is an action-comedy set in the 70's about a gun deal in Boston between two IRA members and a local arms dealer facilitated by Justine(Brie Larson). The movie opens on two stooges driving in an RV on the way to the deal where all the players meet. Ord(Arnie Hammer) takes the prospective buyers into a warehouse for the actual exchange where the majority of the action takes place. Something goes wrong and bullets start to fly.

The high-caliber ensemble cast does well, charming and engaging as the talented typically are, Larson, Hammer, and Cillian Murphy especially. But although the cast are all funny and have good chemistry we don't particularly care about any of them because we don't really know anything about them. The story, essentially, takes place in one location which certainly made for an affordable production but doesn't make room for any character shades outside of witty.

Competently shot, scored, and staged the movie feels more like an exercise in screenwriting rather than an actual film that was intended for release. The tone is a bit muddled, the inspiration seems to clearly be Reservoir Dogs but doesn't have any of that film's grit or vitality and lands more in the realm of the clunky 2007 Shoot 'Em Up. Although short the film drags considerably in the final act as all the characters are basically crawling around wounded in the dirt groaning for 25 minutes.

An eclectic ensemble that can only do so much with a pedestrian script.

Rent It.

Artistic Respect

Earlier today we got asked if an original Annoyance member, who was looking to get back into performing, could come play in the Fishbowl. The answer was of course yes. We, my team that hosts the show Sight Unseen, try to be open and inviting to anyone who wants to come participate and play with the students. Before the show we looked up the guy's website which on the start page has a big picture of him and Jay Leno and lists him as a professional MC. I'm a bit skeptical but I'm trying to keep an open mind.

Jimmy is out of town this week and some of the other folks were running late for various reasons so I was the only one there before the show, not typical, so I was scrambling a bit to get things set up. This guy comes into the theater, old and overweight, and starts immediately name dropping the famous people he knew back in the 80's. He's loudly and passive aggressively making comments implying he expected to be greeted and given the red carpet. Mike, a friend and frequent Fishbowl player, introduces himself talks to him a bit and brings him over to me. I attempt to explain the format but the third time he interrupts me I just give up. He then makes a sarcastic comment thinly disguised as a joke about how "organized" we were. I responded firmly but with what I felt to be significant restraint telling him we'd been doing the show successfully for two years thank you. He didn't watch the opening group and tried to rope other performs into listening to him name drop, he was cringe worthy in the Fishbowl, and left after we started our set. This is all to say the guy was a real tool.

Point being respect should be the watchword. I'm sure I come across from time to time as superior or judgmental and the reality is that I'm just reserved, quiet until comfortable. But that's something I'm aware of and I work on. Make an effort to be welcoming and make conversation with people when they're doing my shows and I try to be open and agreeable when I'm doing theirs. Perhaps all his bluster and "I knew Pasquesi and Messing when" crap was just nerves but I don't think so and even if it was his behavior was inexcusable. Rudeness and entitlement have no place in the world at large or a theater where people are putting themselves out there in vulnerable ways donating their time and talent in most cases with no recompense save for the pleasure and satisfaction derived from the work itself. It is important to be aware of how we behave regardless of what reverence or difference we believe we deserve, because most of the time we don't deserve any. What we do deserve is common decency and respect. What that looks like is simple humility(regardless of stature) and basic politeness. Ultimately we're all the same- thinking feeling humans trying to make our way through life. That is the truth regardless of age, wealth, or "success".

Let's cut the bullshit and respect each other. You want to come do our show? Feel free. But I'm not going to give you preferential treatment. I'll treat you as an equal. Which you are.

A City So Nice They Named It Twice

Maybe what people say is true.
It's the hub, the center, the fulcrum.
fount of power, wealth, culture,
and down-to-earth celebrity.
Diverse and eclectic
the city teems with energy
and opportunity
not to mention history.

But there is also
the ever-present company of trash,
the thin layer of slime
the seems to coat
every inch of concrete,
the press of population
and the crushing weight
of mere existence,
the stink of polluted water
and of bodies packed
on narrow sidewalks
and damp train platforms,
intriguing but somewhat gross,
like a grandparents' attic.

Give me the Chi
Give me the lake
and the L and unappetizing deep dish
Give me perpetually underperforming sports teams
and second run Broadway shows
Give me the folk of the Midwest
perhaps not cosmopolitan
but down to earth and mostly kind
Give me the indifferent bite of the winter wind
and the cool comfort of the summer breeze
Give me the sprawl.

We may always be the neglected sister
of the east coast giant
but they can keep it
Give me Chicago
where there's room to breathe
and space to dream.

'Colossal' A Review

Colossal is a scifi dramedy about Gloria(Anne Hathaway) a blogger with a drinking problem who moves into her now vacant childhood home after being kicked out by her boyfriend. She reconnects with grade school classmate Oscar(Jason Sudeikis) and begins working at his bar. After a night of heavy drinking she discovers an odd connection with an international incident which puts her on a path of confrontation with Oscar.

Hathaway is good as she typically is but she fails to find any real pathos or depth, not for lack of trying but because of the scattershot script. Sudeikis after a turn about half way through the film plays drastically against type and does it well but he too is hamstrung by the disparate themes and threads of the narrative. The other cast members are all serviceable but all suffer from a lack of plot coherence.

Although competently shot, scored, and cast the insurmountable problem of the film is the story itself. There are multiple ideas that are introduced and then underdeveloped or abandoned completely. Alcoholism is used as a shortcut to character and then discarded, Nice Guy Syndrome and male entitlement is hinted at but not actually addressed, the scifi/fantasy element is treated with a bizarre offhandedness until everything is revealed in an anticlimactic flashback at the end. Lots of great ideas but it comes together more as a child's finger painting rather than a Pollack. Colossal is getting relatively good reviews but it seems the accolades are based on the potential of the film rather than its actual execution. The reality is that it is a befuddling mess attempting social commentary and spectacle but failing at both.

Ambitious but virtually incoherent.

Don't See It.

SNL

(Hallway with headshots of all SNL cast members, Alex is the latest)

Alex my old teammate and roommate got hired on SNL at the start of this season. It had been a dream of his since he was a kid and he's been doing an incredible job. I went to the show with his fiancé and watched the show from his dressing room. Pictures aren't the best quality because there were "No Pictures" signs everywhere so I had to use my phone.

(Alex's office, supposedly the same office shared by Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi)

The whole experience was surreal. There were tons of staff and everything was very controlled and regimented. Saw some celebs in the hall way and got escorted onto the stage to watch the first act of the musical guest. Very cool. Alex was in a good amount of the second half so we didn't see him much after the first couple sketches. He did a great job and it seems like he's really making a spot for himself on the show.

Got the tour afterwards and took the obligatory SNL stage pic. It's been a good couple years since Alex and I were in classes together at iO and did shows in bars and storefront theaters with our independent improv group The Album. There's been a lot of ups and downs for both of us since then. It's pretty amazing Alex is on SNL, I never doubted his talent or ability but in some ways its like winning the lottery. He's been doing good work on the show and I'm so incredibly proud of him and so happy to call him my friend. Very bizarre and cool to see your friend leave his work and be asked by a group of twenty people for pictures. What a world.

NYC

In NYC for a couple days visiting Meaghan and Tim who moved here from Chicago last summer. I got in last night and we had dinner in Brooklyn(where they live) and some ice cream.

Today we went to Manhattan and walked the High Line and hung out in Washington Square Park before going to a play.

With the glut of options we went to A Doll's House Part 2 based almost slowly on Laurie Metcalf and Chris Cooper being in it. It was a great production, a new play which takes place fifteen years after the Ibsen original. The language is contemporary although the setting isn't, which helped to make it its own thing, more inspired by but not tied to the classic. Metcalf was stupendous, I've seen her a couple times at Steppenwolf over the years, she was always good, but this was by far the best. Cooper seemed to be a bit more unsure especially in his first scene but was more comfortable and engaging as the play went on. Even though he was good and not borderline transcendent like Metcalf it was a thrill to see him in the flesh as I've been a huge fan since Adaptation.

Meaghan and Tim have been wonderful hosts and it's been great to spend so much time with them, we hung out regularly in Chicago but its different making all day plans, sleeping on their couch, its been great. Some friends fade away, and that's fine. Some friends become acquaintances with no love lost. Some friendships endure, deepen and mature, regardless of distance. And that is one of life's greatest pleasures.

Airports & Airplanes

I like the ritual.
Arriving to the airport early.
Printing out my boarding pass.
Having one final pre-flight cigarette.
Standing in line at security. Prepared.
Removing my belt and shoes quickly.
Efficiently placing my things in bins.
The thrumming whosh of the body scan.
The inbetween world of the gates.
Indulging in McDonald's breakfast.
The patient wait, pre-boarding.
Quietly and slowly embarking.
The window seat.
The benign power of the take off.
The city dropping away.
Splayed out in its chaotic beauty.
Travel time devoid of reception.
Circling the unfamiliar destination.
Known but not routine.
Landing with a controlled but bumpy thrill.
All the little steps that transition life from normalcy to holiday.

Even though I know
everything continues on
its like some bit of magic
where I walk outside time
and all the little hurdles
are incantations
allowing me up and out and free.

'In Search For Israeli Cuisine' A Review

In Search of Israeli Cuisine is a culinary documentary which follows Israel born chef Michael Solomonov as he travels the country and attempts to uncover the nature of the burgeoning national cuisine which, like the area itself, is a melding pot of countless cultures.

The country and the food are both beautiful and complicated as seen by the calm but deeply interested and appreciative Solomonov. Cliches found in countless cooking shows like "food is love" and "food will bring us together" have actual and concrete meaning as well as deep and lasting history in Israel. Solomonov takes us through a brief history of Israel, Jewish and immigrant cuisines as well as the small but diverse regions of the country. The conflict is addressed explicitly but its tension is lingering in the back ground of every scene. Solmonov ignores politics completely and focuses solely on food showing enthusiasm and respect for every and all the eclectic dishes and chefs he encounters. And by doing so, focusing on the myriad of cuisines and tastes and cultural influences, we get a sense of the real day-to-day life of Israel not devoid of the political tension but without the polarizing fervor the subject can illicit. And perhaps we glimpse a way forward.

If there is a flaw of the film it is with Solomonov and only slight. He's not very good at describing what he's tasting. We know he likes it but he doesn't give us, the viewer, any differentiation he describes almost everything unilaterally as "awesome". Forgivable given his success as our psuedo-Virgil.

Engaging but not necessarily cinematic.

Rent It.

'T2 Trainspotting' A Review

T2 Trainspotting is a dark comedy/drama, a sequel to the 1996 Trainspotting based on the Irvine Welsh novels. Mark(Ewan McGregor) returns to Edinburgh after living clean in Amsterdam for twenty years. He reconnects with Daniel "Spud"(Ewen Bremner) who has continued to struggle with heroin addiction. Mark then pays back Simon "Sick Boy"(Jonny Lee Miller) who has since forgone heroin for cocaine, inherited his aunt's bar, and also moonlights as a blackmailer with his girlfriend Veronika(Anjela Nedyalkova). After initial tensions the three renew their old friendship. Meanwhile the volatile Begbie(Robert Carlyle) escapes prison and attempts to resume his old life as a criminal. Eventually the four are reunited.

All four returning leads give outstanding performances. They wear their age well but convey the natural regret, nostalgia, and frustration that come with it. They are no longer the cocky rebels of their youth and that makes perfect sense. In some ways the events of the first film have defined these characters but they have aged with all the complicated dreaming, second-guessing, and stifled promise that can imply. They are all still the young men they were- prone to rage, duplicity, and addictive behavior- but they are fuller, reflective, more complex. The film is about adulthood where nothing is clear cut and the pure joy and certainty of youth is far behind. All four embody that in impressive and varying ways. The characters have less rebellious energy(why wouldn't they?) but more texture.

Boyle's most compelling and honest film since 2007's Sunshine the film has interesting camera flourishes and cinematic embellishments but they are all deployed with purpose and in balance, serving the story. Flashbacks and scenes from the first film fade in and out and are layered over the action in a way that does not distract but elevates the narrative making the past, so important for the characters, literally intersect with their lives. The soundtrack also is wonderful. No, the film doesn't have the same fevered, frenetic, borderline disgusting feel of the original and it is the better for it. This is not a film about twenty something junkies its about adults grappling with how to be adults. And that couldn't be more interesting and relatable.

Less edge but more soul than the original.

See It.

Old Songs, Old Days

Listening to Moby's 1999 Play album
alone in the theater before the show
drinking a hot cup of coffee
high school,
summer after senior year
languidly comes back
not nostalgia or regret
just contented wisps of memory-
my '85 Jeep Laredo
dark bedrooms, the hum of fans
hot and humid nights
passion and contentment
the breeze from open windows
excitment and fear
that looming spector
College-
but mostly the folly
and promise
of youth

impervious hope
cloaked in bluster

Sleep

We all need sleep. It's a basic biological fact. Growing up especially. I remember as a kid being able to sleep for luxuriously long stretches. Once after a week long backpacking camp I slept for twenty hours straight. It was glorious. After my teens though sleep and its necessity became somewhat of an adversary. Mostly, I believe, as a symptom of my burgeoning alcoholism I developed a pretty intense case of insomnia. Not that it was every night but if I wasn't drinking to excess I couldn't sleep and those rare days I was too ill or attempting to abstain I couldn't sleep at all. There were countless nights of sleepless tossing and turning before I made an honest attempt at getting sober.

The first year I was sober, perhaps as a side effect of the anti-depressants I took or as a result of being deprived of real REM sleep for the better part of a decade, I had nightmares every night. I slept fine but had intense dreams, they weren't frightening exactly just overwhelming and vivid. After that first year I no longer needed the medication and my sleeping and dreaming leveled out. I discovered absent from any substance I was a light sleeper. I've never been able to take naps and as my body and mind reoriented closer to something like normalcy a good night sleep took a bit more attention.

Now it takes me 30-45 minutes to fall asleep, if I wake up early its hard, most times impossible, for me to fall back asleep. Any kind of noise above the normal background variety, any fluctuation in temperature and I wake up. It's a struggle. Throw age on top of that and getting up early to pee becomes a consideration. Perhaps its a matter of conditioning or maybe its normal. Even if it is normal that doesn't make it any less difficult, any less frustrating. Sometimes it can feel like my body is fighting against one of it's own basic fundamental functions. And in those dark predawn hours the world is relatively unpleasant, maybe especially so given my history.

I try to go to bed allowing enough time to relax, meditate a bit, and slow my thinking. Try not to snack or drink too much water before bed and mitigate any possible distractions but sometimes things are outside of my control(delivery and garbage trucks, our powerful but unsubtle radiators, the cat). The past couple days especially have been kind of crapshoot. But all things being equal it is a relatively trivial and easy problem to contend with. And one, now sober with a considerably different outlook and having learned and grown over the years, I can begin to deal with.

Any problem, all problems, use to be overwhelming. Any challenge dramatic in its overblown proportions and how I let it effect me. Any complication daunting. Now having gained some level of maturity and some modicum of patience I can at least approach problems, irritations, setbacks, with a little bit of clarity and perspective. View difficulties for what they are- a normal part of life, that me and everyone else in the world deals with to greater and lesser degrees on a daily basis, and that they are above all manageable.

'Ghost In the Shell' A Review

Ghost In The Shell is a scifi action film about a near future where humans are enhanced by cybernetics and robots are commonplace. Hanka Robotics, the world's most advanced technology copropration, have put a human brain(ghost) in a completely synthetic body(shell). This experiment Major Mira Killian(Scarlett Johansson) is working as a counter-terrorism operative for the government when she comes into contact with the seemingly villanous Kuze(Michael Pitt) who is on a mission to take down Hanka.

Johansson is adequate in the role, certainly physically capable as far as the action, but fails to convey any real depth, nuance, or inner conflict that you'd expect with a character that is constantly faced with the kind of existential conundrum that is the Major's situation. She plays it almost categorically neutral, which not an overt failure, leaves a lot to be desired from the lead. Pitt is a bright spot in the cast giving the villain compelling idiosyncrasies implying more than we see. Pilou Asbæk as Batou, the Major's partner, and "Beat" Takeshi Kitano as Chief Daisuke Aramaki are both very good but are mostly foils to the Major. Juliette Binoche as Dr. Ouelet is a bit of an odd choice, she is always compelling but is underwritten and underutlized.

The production design of the film is beautiful. The cityscape, the action, the costumes, the score are all basically perfect but the main failing is the bloated narrative. So much plot is jammed into the film it fails to explore the interesting scifi concepts that make Ghost In The Shell unique. The result is polish with little substance, potential unrealized.

Entertaining but mostly shell with little ghost.

Rent It.