A Moment Of Grace 3

I almost fainted on the train.

At times I'm in too much of a rush to eat breakfast. Usually this does not bother me. Often times I get a seat on the train for my morning commute but when I'm running late I do not. Usually this does not bother me. Most commutes I'll listen to podcasts like Radiolab or Mental Illness Happy Hour which at times have subject matter which is graphic or disturbing. Usually this does not bother me.

Standing on the hot, crowded train I began to feel light headed. The Radiolab episode I listened to, describing Kenyan runners, took a hard right turn with a detailed description of a particular tribes violent right of passage ritual culminating in circumcision. It was described in excruciating detail. I began to feel really sick. Then the trained stopped.

I began to sweat, nausea hit me-boom, my legs weakened. I figured I could power through if the train kept moving. It did not. One minute dragged into two, then five, with no sign of getting moving and no update from the conductor. I was going to pass out. Sooner rather than later. I swallowed my pride, tapped the woman next to me and warned her I felt sick and needed to sit. She barely moved or acknowledged my presence. I sat on the train floor wedged into a corner surrounded by people on their phones.

Most of my fellow commuters were pointedly ignoring me. One young woman did not. She was hipsterish with a curly fauxhawk and almost immediately gave up her seat to me. I unslung my bag took off my coat and panted for a good 5 minutes with my head between my knees. The feeling passed. The train resumed movement. The young woman tapped me on the arm and asked me if I needed something to eat, needed some sugar. I smiled weakly and said no and thanked her. The rest of the train ride was without incident.

Typically I would be ashamed that I almost had a fainting spell on the train. But the immediate kindness and concern of one person in a sea of people playing Candy Crush really made me feel good, made me hope. And just like you, I'm human, sometimes I get sick on the train.