Argument

Thoughts on arguing from a lawyer's son.

Emotion is not constructive. Getting emotional can make you incoherent, verbal alacrity is the most important asset in an argument and getting choked up limits your main instrument- your voice. You are also more prone to reveal detrimental information and/or engage in a personal attack. Anger can potentially be beneficial, helping you focus and bring force, but most times being perceived as mean or aggressive can undermine your believability and others ability to be empathetic.

Prepare your line of reasoning. A strong, clear, concise, opening gambit is half the battle. Before going into a situation where you will engage in an argument, present a case, or attempt to persuade play the conversation out in your mind. Think of what you will say, think of the different avenues the conversation can take, play each line of reasoning through to its conclusion preparing what you would say given each eventuality. Anticipate what the opposing perspective will be and construct reasons to combat it. If you are well prepared nothing will surprise you, you will have a variety of options from which to draw on, you will have a rebuttal for any possible eventuality.

Employ sound logic. To the best of your ability make sense. Do not employ fallacy, do not employ exaggeration, do not rely on appeals to emotion. Of course anything you say is filtered through your own opinion but try to be as cut and dry as possible, siting specific examples and follow thoughts to their logical conclusion. Follow A to B to C, if your logic is tight it is exponentially more difficult for anyone to refute you.

Personal attacks are ineffective. It can be tempting to attack someone personally, to use aspects of someones background or history to discredit them. For the most part opening that door derails the thrust of the discussion and overshadows whatever the desired outcome may be. It can also be hurtful, if you are dealing with people that you have an outside relationship with this kind of tactic will have consequences after the argument is over. It can also be perceived as petty, lowering your standing in the eyes of those you are engaging with, making them less likely to be swayed by you. Conversely any personal attacks directed at you should be ignored or deflected, you will appear more reasonable to those you are attempting to persuade and more likely to do so.

Give ground when warranted. If an opponent makes a valid point, concede it. Do not unilaterally disagree with your opponents. If you are too rigid, regardless of the soundness of your argument, you may appear too fanatical, too stubborn, illogical. If you cannot be swayed from your point of view your opponents will be equally unwavering, you have given them no reason to listen to your reasoning.

Have a desired outcome, work towards it. Keep a goal in mind. Prepare an ideal outcome to any argument. Construct your line of argument to work towards this outcome. Also be prepared to make compromises. What ground will you give and where will you stand firm. Always be prepared to give ground. The focus should be broad, see the whole board, the whole court, the whole game. There are ebbs and flows to arguments, victories and concessions. Take the long view and strive to achieve what you can.