Minutiae

The past two days I've been attempting to fix the tail light on my motorcycle. I've been to Auto Zone twice, changed the bulb, changed the fuse, both to no effect. Today I discovered on my credit card statement two large charges to Motorola which I did not make. I immediately called the credit card company and requested a reversal and cancelled the card.

These are two relatively trivial irritants. Unfortunate but not out of the realm of normalcy. Easily worked around or taken care of, each with a clear path to resolution. What I classify as adult problems. Things that use to be totally and completely out of my grasp.

When I was drinking it was a struggle even to get to work on time, let alone pay my bills or handle any unexpected issues that arouse. I would view any inconvenience as a personal a front, use it as an excuse to drink, and put off the problem to another day then another day then another day. Perpetually letting small issues gain momentum and become big problems which I would not address and be overwhelmed by.

As a sober person I've learned how to face small day-to-day obstacles with some amount of grace, to respond to problems with fluidity and willingness as opposed to deflection and anger. This is something I think most people learn to do naturally, its part of growing up, but as a recovering person its something I've had to work hard at figuring out how to do. Being an adult, not viewing myself as the center of the universe, has taken some effort.

I no longer get overwhelmed by small problems, I handle them as best I can and ask for help if I need it. And even if the problems are protracted or insolvable if I've been calm and proactive I view them as little triumphs.