Me: So for our Christmas addition we'll discuss the Tim Allen hit 'The Santa Clause', Joey your thoughts?Joey: Well, it's perfect. I mean, find me a better Christmas movie. Find me a better holiday movie!
Me: I can't. Arguably Tim Allen's best work. It has it all: magic, whimsy, and family. Although I don't know if it'd be great to be Santa. I think his life would kinda suck.
Joey: And it shows that! Also, there are shades of every other holiday movie ever, in this ONE movie.
Me: I don't think it does, it shows that it would be weird to transition into being Santa.
Joey: He's grumpy at the beginning (Scrooge, The Grinch). Yeah! That's what I'm saying! Like, oh, it sucks to have gained all this weight. This sucks. Ya know? Also, he's won over by it (Miracle on 34th st.). And Sally Fields is looking GREAT.
Me: I prefer Sally Fields in Mrs. Doubtfire but both movies she plays kind of a neurotic bitch. Which I think is unfair.
Joey: I mean, seriously, killin' what I can only assume was a role written for Diane K (the urbanite intellectual).
Me: He's fun loving and she's like serious bitchy ex-wife
Joey: in both movies! But, isn't that really what all men really want?
Me: What bitchy ex-wives or Sally Fields?
Joey: We want to be the fun ones! BOTH!
Me: But its like he's a man-child. So the only thing for him is to be Santa.
Joey: (Miami's leading Oakland, 13-0) No, he kills Santa, he's super successful.
Me: Movie Corner not Sports Corner. But maybe it's a comment on single parent households.
Joey: Addison and Sheffield! Give us Gift Cards!
Me: Cause he has to leave his kid.
Joey: Who?
Me: Tim Allen
Joey: But, it's that age old question, do you want your dad to be a regular dad? Or do you want your dad to be a star? What's better?
Me: Regular Dad hands down.
Joey: I see both (off)sides.
Me: I don't want my dad to be a movie star or Santa. Stop it.
Joey: #sportscorner (I want free stuff from that bar on Sheffield and Addison) Yeah, you're right! I LOVE my Dad! But, if my Dad, then became Santa, I kind of win, right?
Me: I just think that we're ignoring that this dad is literally abandoning his kid because we're so wrapped up in the elves flying in to save him in jail(love that part). You don't win. Didn't you see The Santa Clause 2?
Joey: Kind of though. I do. I win. I saw all 3!
Me: (spoiler alert) His kids on the naughty list.
Joey: Yeah, but that's the kids fault.
Me: No it's not. I would say that it's a societal problem of what's 'right' and 'wrong'.
Joey: Is Sally Fields in 2?
Me: The kid is doing pro-Christmas graffiti and gets caught. I don't think so.
Joey: Who? The main kid? Tim Allen's kid? Is doing graffiti?
Me: Yeah dude.
Joey: But, it's like pro-cool stuff though, right? Like Christmas? So, then, not really?
Me: That's what I mean, why is graffiti inherently bad? It's not.
Joey: It's like, you can't arrest someone who's robbing a rich person, to give to the poor.
Me: it's this pre-set standard of what puts you on the naughty list, it's bullshit.
Joey: Graffiti? That IS bullshit.
Me: Yeah he like repels into the gym.
Joey: The gym?
Me: And does like a Christmas tree or something.
Joey: Working out?
Me: The school gym dude.
Joey: What's that? A workout move? oh, oh.
Me: God damn it.
Joey: How old is the kid in this one?
Me: High school. The love interest is the principal, she was in 'Lost'.
Joey: I've got an idea for a 4th movie.
Me: What is it?
Joey: He's going to college, and Tim Allen's like, I could go back; I want to learn more, or whatever. And then it's essentially "Back to School".
Me: Like The Santa Clause: Higher Learning.
Joey: Yeah! Who was in Lost?
Me: His love interest in 2. Cause the premise of 2 is that he has to find Mrs. Clause.
Joey: Who was she?
Me: The blond lady who was an other but then hooks up with Jack.
Joey: Did Tim Allen write the 2nd and 3rd ones?
Me: He didn't write any of them. Whats your favorite part of the first one?
Joey: When he's trying to shave, but his beard keeps growing back so fast haahahahahahaaha. You?
Me: My favorite is the part where he comes down the chimney and it's a radiator but it turns into a fireplace.
Joey: hahahahaha that's pretty good, too. What about that part where he's like gaining all that weight and his clothes don't fit, and he's got that big presentation?
Me: Final thoughts Joseph?
Joey: I LOVED it! And Merry Christmas! And Happy Holidays!
Me: If you ever become Santa or another magical figure make sure you have weekly visitation rights for the kids you leave behind. The world isn't all cookies and cocoa. Happy Holidays.
Joey: All the movies in the world!
Me: We've seen 'em!
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