Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Pay It Forward

Happiness is a weird thing. You have to give it away in order to keep it. It's not that selfishness is synonymous with sadness. People who are selfish can be happy. But they are only happy for a little while. Then they have to keep on seeking out things to make them happy: personal accomplishments, putting down others accomplishments, a better apartment, a better car, a better wardrobe, better places to eat, and on and on. They're a mouse on a treadmill running after a piece of dangling cheese. Sometimes they get a bite and that keeps them running. But they'll never realize they can simply step off the treadmill.

In order to be happy you need to be content. Not satisfied, just content. You are where you are. Thinking about where you want to be or where you ought to be gets you nothing but anxiety. If you have things you want to do try and do them. Make plans, make goals, challenge yourself, and then follow through as much as you can. If you don't accomplish everything you want that's ok. You tried. You learn as much and gain as much from the struggle or the process than you do when you finally get that thing that you want.

Once you are content you invest in other people. Be there for your loved ones. Listen, make time, support. Everyone needs help from time to time. With anything: money, relationship, friendships, SAD, a ride, whatever. When you give of yourself, your time and energy, to loved ones, or even strangers, there's a symbiotic thing that happens. By helping someone else you are helped. By giving a little of your happiness away to someone who needs it you aren't depleting your own, you're doubling it.

A selfish person only thinks about themselves. Their world is small and doomed for a shallow range of feelings most of which are negative. If you put yourself out there, try to help others, and try to do the things that bring you joy and inspiration and growth the capacity for happiness is unending.

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