Year Three

Today marks my third year without a drink. I struggled with alcohol for a long time and I had to go through a lot of pain to actually seek help, take some suggestions, and make some significant changes in my life. There were times when I thought I couldn't or wouldn't make it but I am here.

I no longer struggle with drinking, the obsession with alcohol has been lifted. I don't think about it often, I don't get cravings, I don't miss or romanticize it. I am still always wary around or regarding booze. When you have a problem vigilance is required.

My main focus now is to live a full and productive life. When recovering from an addiction the first thing is becoming free from the substance. The second thing is learning how to live a happy and peaceful life, learning how to cope with negative emotions(anger, fear, resentment etc.), learning how to be an adult, simply- learning how to live.

By that measure this has been a good year. I've set goals and met some of them. I've attempted to communicate more in general and specifically more calmly, I've tried to gossip less. I've tried to make time for and spend time with loved ones, tried to work hard but also not hold myself to an impossible standard. Tried to lash out less and listen more. Tried to voice my own needs and respect those of the people around me. I may not have always succeeded but I was successful more often than I failed and I kept trying. In short its felt like progress, like growth.

I'm grateful for each and every day. The triumphs and the failures. The opportunities and the disappointments. It's about progress not perfection.