The Numbers For 2016

This was the 4th year in a row I didn't take a drink.

I went on two vacations. One to Richmond(to visit Matt), the other to Portland(with Nicole).

I did 50 shows with Deep Schwa and the team celebrated its 20th anniversary.

I did 42 shows with Sight Unseen.

I conceived and directed 1 play, Blockbuster, which had 8 shows.

I released 8 episodes of my podcast Hindsight Hour which constituted the second season.

I wrote 59 poems, 7 essays, and did 10 readings.

I self published 1 collection of essays.

I saw 73 movies in the the theater.

I read 56 books my favorite of which was Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison.

I went to 0 concerts.

I went to 1 dance performance.

I went to 1 musical(Hamilton).

I went to 1 play(The Flick).

I went to 3 weddings.

I went to 1 memorial.

I rode my motorcycle for 7 glorious months.

I met my new born niece Maris for the first time.

I celebrated 3 years with an incredible partner.

'Passengers' A Review

Passengers is a scifi romance about a generation ship on a hundred year voyage to colonize an Earth like planet. As a result of asteroid damage Jim Preston(Chris Pratt) is awoken. After spending a year in solitude he decides to wake up Aurora Lane(Jennifer Lawrence). They fall in love, she eventually discovers his deceit, and they come together in the end to save the ship. Some might think this brief synopsis is a spoiler but given how predictable and obvious the plot is the arc is relatively intuitive.

Pratt and Lawrence both have considerable charm but Pratt's relatively narrow range and Lawrence script restriction make both performances boring, incongruous, and at points disturbing. The main issue of the story is one of its three disparate plot points- essentially the Stockholm Syndrome of Lawrence's character. And this is handled with such flippant indifference it, essentially, hamstrings the entire movie. Pratt doesn't convey the darkness and duplicity that would make it believable and Lawerence's character is written as a two dimensional foil.

It's clear a lot of money was spent on the movie and all the space stuff looks really cool. But without a cogent narrative it doesn't really matter. There are three different movies contained within the bloated and unfortunate Passengers. An isolated-in-space tale(the first act with Pratt alone), a space thriller about a creep who manipulates a woman into falling in love with him(the second act), and a caught in space disaster(third act). Any one of which is a movie that could and probably would work with the two leads and production design but taken together it is a fatty, emotionally flat, and periodically offensive piece of collage.

Slick and shiny but utterly lacking nuance or even passable narrative logic.

Don't See It.

'Assassin's Creed' A Review

Assassin's Creed is a fantasy adventure movie based on the popular video game series. The movie opens on Aguilar de Nerha(Michael Fassbender) a 15th century assassin taking his oath. The movie then flashes forward to the 80's to a young Callum Lynch witnessing the death of his mother presumably by his father's hands then fleeing the authorities. The movie flashes forward again to Callum Lynch(Fassbender again) as an adult on death row about to receive a lethal injection. He is saved by Sophia Rikkin(Marion Cotillard) a doctor(?) who has developed psuedo time travel technology in order to "cure aggression"(or something?). Sophia puts Callum in a machine to relive his long ago ancestors life in order to track down the Apple Of Eden which holds the genetic code for free will and the ability to shut it off(gasp!).

Fassbender and Cotillard, wonderful actors, fail to give life to this incredibly convoluted and hokey story. The movie might have worked better if the actors allowed in a little more camp and humor but are bogged down by their self seriousness. Jeremy Irons fairs a bit better because of his innate wryness but for the most part the leads and the supporting cast commit so hard to the shaky ludicrous premise that it makes it even less believable not more. The efforts of the performers deserve respect but the context in which they give them is utterly laughable.

Clearly a lot of money was spent on the visuals but they come off more absurd than gripping. The "time travel" machine and the holograms present-day Callum interacts with are just plain silly, maybe the conceit works within the context of a video game but on the big screen it is awkward. The story itself its just to complicated and defiecent in logic to function. The past, the present, the machine all in and of themselves would work but together the narrative is a bloated mess.

A spectacular video game adaptation failure.

Don't See It.

Ethiopian Food

spongy soft
and slightly sour-
the bread is the base
for the dining hour

creamy curries
simmering stews
stuffed with spice
delight the chew

fingers are fine
to slurp and shovel
a satisfied stomach
brooks no rebuttal

Better To Give

The saying "it is better to give than to receive" is so old and oft repeated it has almost lost its meaning. But with most platitudes and cliches there is truth in it. Because the reality is that with giving(whether it be emotional, chronological, or material) there is a reciprocation involved. Doing something for someone else(be it buying something, preparing a meal, what-have-you) gives you satisfaction, gives you purpose. There is an interchange there of feeling that simply receiving an object doesn't provide. Because when we are giving to others, being of service, it is enriching for us. It makes us feel good. It reminds us we are not all important, all knowing, or particularly unique. We all have needs. We are one of many. We are not alone.

This holiday was a bit more unusual than years past for me and my family. My dad got in a car accident on Tuesday(not his fault, someone blew a red light), which resulted in a cracked rib. He's recovering but, quiet reasonably, wasn't up to doing much over the holiday. My 5 month old niece is teething and subsequently my sister and brother-in-law have been run a bit ragged. All this taken together my mother and I were the ones that did a fair amount of the cooking, cleaning, and decorating for the holiday. With five people, a baby, and a dog that's not nothing.

Not to say I was put upon just that it was proportionally more work for me than in years past, work I was happy even grateful to do, it got me thinking and put some things in perspective. It made me realize how much my parents do around the holiday(and did in general when we were growing up), the kind of energy all the minutia takes. Now, as an adult myself and with my parents not old but aging, I realize its time perhaps for me to contribute a bit more substantially when it comes to the more basic stuff. And I'm not talking anything grandiose I'm talking making sandwiches and scrubbing sinks, that kind of thing. And doing those various things over the holidays made me feel good, made me feel like all those years my folks and sister were taking care of things I now have an opportunity to pay it back a little. Take care of my family, in small ways, as they've taken care of me for so long.

This is all to say it was a good holiday, perhaps more challenging than usual but good. I had the opportunity to step up in a substantial way, maybe for the first time, and I did. It's always great to spend time with family, double so if you can contribute to the well being of it, however slight. Because when you are of service, when you share of your time and energy, it almost always comes back. Today I offer help, tomorrow I'll probably need it.

'The Fits' A Review

The Fits is a a coming-of-age drama about Toni, an eleven-year-old who trains with her brother at a boxing gym in the local community center. After watching the girls' dance team rehearse she reluctantly decides to join. Toni(Royalty Hightower) is quietly torn between boxing and the comfortable and companionable world of her brother and his friends and the more alluring, complicated, confusing dynamics of the girls and young women of the dance team. The situation becomes even more complicated when older members of the dance team begin to have inexplicable violent fits.

Hightower gives an incredible subtle performance, quiet but rich with emotion and subtext. The supporting cast full of mostly unknowns all give remarkably poised and engaging turns, conveying a solidity and authenticity that give the story striking, seemingly effortless, depth.

Visually the film has the potential to be mundane, its just a community center in a city, but the weather seems perpetually overcast, the interiors strangely shadowed. The cinematography evokes not only the uncertainty of youth but an eerie sense of precarious foreboding. The score helps to elevate the routine to the uncanny in a way that singularly captures adolescence.

A fresh and beguiling take on a familiar subject.

See It.

Paranoia

It can be infectious.

Our neighbor
in the wake
of our post-Thanksgiving
burglary
has become increasingly
fearful
of innocuous
pedestrians
and comes knocking
jittery and wary
to warn,
her panic
contagious.

And so
in preparation
for Xmas travel
I stash valuables
in nooks and crannies
at the back of drawers
draped in laundry
and in the toolbox
in hopes of foiling
wouldbe
holiday hooligans.

Best to be prepared, some say.
Better still to live fearless.
Burglars and robbers be damned.
For, terrified or tranquil, the winds of winter blow.

'Rogue One' A Review

Rogue One is a scifi action movie, the first stand alone feature in the Star Wars universe, that follows the theft of the Death Star plans as referenced in 1977's A New Hope. The film opens on Jyn Erso as a child hiding out on a mostly deserted planet with her parents. Empire soldiers come and take her father away as it turns out he was a defector and former chief engineer of the in-construction Death Star. Jyn is taken in by family friend Saw Gerrera(Forest Whitaker). Years pass. Jyn(Felicty Jones) now an adult is an Empire prisoner and is rescued and recruited by the Rebellion. Jyn teams up with Cassian Andor(Diego Luna), his wise-cracking droid K-2SO(Alan Tudyk), and later Chirrut Îmwe(Donnie Yen) and Baze Malbus(Jiang Wen) as they slink and battle their way in opposition to the Empire.

The cast boasts astounding talents with the bulk of the film falling on Jones and to a lesser extent Luna, both who give engaging intense performances, but are prevented by time and narrative from being especially layered. Tudyk provides some much needed snarky charm and both Yen and Wen give the film the series' customary(and necessary)mystery and mysticism. The film is thick with talented actors who are all pleasing to watch but the focus is more on the spectacle and the plot. There is some character development and some moments of emotional depth but the momentum of the story propels us past any potential meditations on identity. Which is all well and good. It's not a character study but a war/heist film set in a galaxy far  far away and succeeds as such.

Visually the film is dark, foreboding, and rich. We are given a glimpse of the dirt and muck and toil of the war we have previously only seen waged on metallic walkways or in the forests of Endor. Both visually and sonically the tone is dark and evocative punctuated by moments of despair and doom as well as rapturous courage and resigned sacrifice. The battles are intricate and sweeping, all the new worlds and cultures we are shown- rich. Rogue One expands and augments the world building of Star Wars in a most satisfying way.

Combo war epic and tight heist thriller, the first standalone Star Wars movie delivers but leaves you wanting a bit more.

See It. 

'Jackie' A Review

Jackie is a biopic about first lady Jackie Kennedy,(Natalie Portman) her time in the White House and the days in the wake of JFK's assassination. The film uses Theodore H. White's(Billy Crudup) Life magazine interview as the spine of the narrative which it flashes back from.

Portman gives an incredible performance, strong and captivating, at times impressionistic. A real power house turn. As the film is mostly about style and tone heightened by immaculate costume design, cinematography, and uncanny score all revolving around Portman's titular Jackie the supporting cast doesn't have much to do. They are all serviceable but they have, justly, little focus. Peter Sarsgaard as Bobby, Greta Gerwig as Nancy Tuckerman, John Hurt in the somewhat befuddling role of Father Richard McSorley, and Crudup, all great actors, all function as foils for Portman rather than fully flushed out characters. And given how dynamic Portman is that's not really a problem.

All the design elements create an ethereal almost abstract feel and this is incredibly successful for the majority of the film but it either over stays its welcome or fails to sustain its eerie magnetism. Either way the film loses its footing in the third act, meandering when it should be definitive, protracting sequences which should be crisp. The film, essentially, ends multiple times but then circles back for another five minutes of obliqueness repeatedly which only serve to detract from the impressive work already done.

A provocative engaging production design paired with an evocative lead are marred by a failure to finish.

Rent It.

'La La Land' A Review

La La Land is a musical romance about two aspiring artists Mia(Emma Stone) and Sebastian(Ryan Gosling) who have a handful of chance encounters before they begin dating. Mia struggles to get her acting career off the ground and Sebastian bums around as a jazz musician. There's singing and dancing and a dating montage. Mia, frustrated with auditioning without booking anything and under Sebastian's encouragement writes a one woman show. Sebastian, after overhearing a conversation Mia has with her mother decides to go legit and join a friend in a modern jazz fusion band. Their divergent paths cause a rift in their relationship. Will their relationship survive their artistic ennui?

Gosling and Stone bring their considerable charm and chemistry to bear and although their voices and dancing are proficient they are far short of dazzling. Their strength is their acting and there are few scenes where they are allowed to do so. There are a few numbers where they hit a certain grace and resonance but it is momentary and bookended by lackluster competence. There are some great people in the supporting cast but they don't have much to do. John Legend, J.K. Simmons, and Rosemarie DeWitt are particularly wasted.

The film certainly has a lot of style, impressive camera work and vibrant colors, but it lacks any semblance of substance. The leads are not only two thin, attractive, privilaged, incomprehensibly economically stable individuals that achieve their dreams with little to no adversity they display almost no personality until the film's third act. We virtually know nothing about who these people are until the film is almost over. Despite the best efforts of the actors the characters are simple flat sketches in place so that they can sing and dance rather than singing and dancing for any actual emotional purpose. If there's any comment or message on romance, Hollywood, ambition, artistic integrity, it is muddled to the point of being lost.

Superficially entertaining. A throwback that doesn't have the performative finesse of its inspiration or the character complexity of the contemporary.

Don't See It.

The Ticking Clock

In high school
time seemed interminable
each May an eon
each summer an eternity.

In college
much the same
with perhaps
more contention and melancholy.

But age
is a tricky thing
and at some point
the years start to pass with increasing rapidity

My father
ever the analytic
says perception is proportionate,
a year to a child is a substantial slice, to an adult a paltry fraction

For me
it seems life has gained momentum
inertia after shedding the unease of youth
now time holds mostly relish- and savor is always brief

The Fragility Of Belief

I'm currently reading Stephen King's meditation on horror Danse Macabre and one of the themes he returns to repeatedly is the idea of belief, the suspension of and the ability to. How important but tenuous belief can be in relating a tale, how as we age the more difficult it can be to give ourselves over to a story. But how important imagination and narrative are for us as kids but also, maybe even more vitally, as adults.

The sentiment echoes a lesson I learned when I was an angsty and unagreeable middle schooler. Every year from 5th to 8th grade I went to Camp Loan Oak which was a week long sleepover camp. A couple years I went there my sister was a counselor and I got to know the staff pretty well. One of her closest friends there Ted was my counselor one week when I was going into 7th grade. One night we were sitting around the camp fire roasting marshmallows for s'mores and telling ghost stories. The foreboding mood was heightened by the parks proximity to a graveyard.

After I and some of my fellow campers fumbled through paraphrased versions of Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Ted told a "true story" about a counselor who, walking by the graveyard one evening, came upon a lost camper and gave her his sweatshirt, it being a cold evening, and as they cut through the graveyard on their way back to the lodge the camper disappeared. The sweatshirt was on a nearby grave, a kid who had died some thirty years before. Spooky. I was genuinely shaken and in an effort to bolster my non-existent courage I said "that didn't happen!" and made some joke which effectively deflated the eerie delicious atmosphere. I think some of us were relieved by my outburst but there was also a feeling of regret, something had been dispelled. Ted looked at me and said "No Steve. No it didn't." with such sarcastic scorn, such reproach and disappointment I felt like I'd been slapped. I was ashamed.

The next day Ted let it go and we were friends again but it stuck with me. Thinking about it Ted's story had cast a spell on us, we anxious and posturing 12 year olds, and I had broken the magic. And not because it was a bad story or poorly told but because it was successful, because I was truly scared. And had shied away from that precious precarious manifestation of imagination fearing as opposed to relishing how truly miraculous and fleeting it was.

Stories are not only entertainment they are solace and signpost, escape and enlightenment. And the belief we feel while watching a movie, reading a novel, or hearing a tale around a campfire is fragile and should be cultivated and respected. For without stories how would we face the bleak and mundane realities of life.

'The Edge Of Seventeen' A Review

The Edge of Seventeen is a coming-of-age comedy about anti-social teen Nadine(Hailee Steinfeld) as she deals with her best and only friend Krista(Haley Lu Richardson) dating her jock seemingly unflappable brother Darian(Blake Jenner). Nadine's teacher Mr. Bruner(Woody Harrelson) is her sarcastic and reluctant confidant as she navigates the affections of dorky Erwin(Hayden Szeto), the disregard of bad boy Nick(Alexander Calvert), and the collapse of her only friendship.

Steinfeld as the lead puts in a vulnerable, diverse performance but is periodically restricted by the somewhat illogical demands of the script. She shines brightest in her scenes with Harrelson, where both actors display magnetic chemistry and convey substantial emotion while trading quips. These are also the moments that Nadine feels the most real. Richardson and Jenner put in decent turns but are constrained by limited screen time with Steinfeld, perfunctory character development, and the somewhat cliched plot machinations. Kyra Sedgwick is underutilized as Nadine's mother having one or two great moments but an arc that is lacking.

The dynamite cast and engaging subject matter is restrained by the sheer number of problems with which its lead has to contend(not only a dead father but the desertion of a best friend and romantic travails any one of which would be worth the film's attention) as well as the sometimes flawed emotional heights the script requires. We get a glimpse into the mind of a young teenage woman but we are prevented from a full view by distracting genre conventions.

A fresh and compelling take on the coming-of-age story but prevented from real catharsis or discovery by a convoluted narrative.

Rent It.

Coming Cold

each year it is unpleasant
which seems unfair
as it is the same
year after year after year,
the annual winter
should come as no surprise
but regardless of preparation
we can only but survive,
days are short and chill
nights are long and colder still
there is comfort only in-doors
devoid of freshness and of thrill,
perhaps there is enjoyment
in labored icy breathing
in the slip and slide of a snowy evening
for me, I wait for spring and summer Eden.

Idea Fish

The past two months I've been shadowing a level one class at iO. It's been an engaging experience and I've learned a lot from Jessica(the teacher). One of the most interesting things about it has been seeing fledgling improvisers learn the basics, some of them with little to no context for the medium. It's been almost ten years since I took my first class and so the eager yet unformed mindset of some of the students is very refreshing but in some ways challenging. A couple of the students that have struggled a bit more have asked a version of that most mystifying question "where do I get ideas?"

In some ways I think improv, more so than other artforms because of its immediacy, is the discipline of inspiration itself. That, in application they are practically synonymous and trying to explain or teach how to be inspired is almost impossible because it will inevitably turn to how I am inspired as opposed to how one is inspired. This is through no fault of the teacher, there are as many ways to be inspired, to seek and cultivate inspiration, as there are fish in the sea and all you can ultimately impart is your own experience. You can talk in abstractions but for most students abstract instruction is at best inapplicable and at worst confusing. What I try to do is make clear various options or avenues I see during a scene or piece in hopes that it will jump start some internal analysis or imaginative spark. Some students want to know not only how to do it but how to do it right and in improv(in all art) that desire shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what creation is.

There are techniques and tools, forms and rules that can be taught but I think imagination itself can't(it can be strengthened). And most of the time I think when students ask questions about ideas it comes more from a place of natural frustration rather than true lack of ability. The one and only answer to the question "where do I get ideas?" is "I don't know." It is a question that all(famous) creative people get asked frequently but which all almost unilaterally answer with a deflection or a convoluted metaphor. Director David Lynch talks about ideas not being created but discovered. It's a theme writer Stephen King talks about a lot, currently I'm reading his non-fiction book on horror Danse Macabre, and he infers something similar. He talks about the genous of some ideas(a dream, an image of a rabid dog, a busy highway) but their amalgamation and how the book unfolds as he's writing he chalks up to will, talent(also unexplainable), and mystery.

In improv, and I think in all creative endeavors, the job of the teacher isn't to teach how but to help the student on their own path of discovery. To assist in cultivating an individual mode of inspiration. In teaching how we can only hope to produce imitators. Leading a student on their own path is much more difficult and perhaps imperfect. We can't help but impart some of our own personal process to those we hope to teach but it is certainly a more noble and, ultimately, more fruitful attempt.

And on talent, not everyone has it. Improv more so than other disciplines seems to call a lot of hopefuls because it seems relatively accessible. This is great for the improv teaching business but not so great for improv itself. Some folks can grasp how it works but lack the real creative drive that makes improv fun and exciting. King downplays talent(or natural ability) and says some talent is needed but discipline and will are the real necessities of the artist. And I agree up to a point but I've seen many tenacious improv hopefuls who simply do not get it, who do not have it, but keep on doggedly taking classes and performing in seedy locales year after year after year in hopes of a breakthrough that will(seemingly) never come. Not every person is a creative person. And although that can be a tough lesson its a lesson the teacher shouldn't be so afraid of imparting.

Where do ideas come from? I don't know. But I do know where I draw some of my inspiration- personal experience, fiction/TV/film, human observation. How that translates into characters and narrative I can't really explain, its mostly intuitive. That's a muscle you just have to build over time.

Stress

there is no benefit
to the draining
electronic drone
of nerves
particularly
in a sterile office
where even plying
considerable effort
is banal
and unexciting,
worry is as thankless
as a job done well.

Generosity

After the Sight Unseen show tonight the team gave me a card along with a donation from lots of improv friends to help Nicole and I bounce back from getting burglarized. It was an incredibly moving and stunning gift. An unfortunate thing happened and it was unpleasant but the outpouring of support that followed it was overwhelming, I've never felt so immediately and thoroughly taken care of, never been the recipient of this kind of kindness en masse. Nicole quoted It's A Wonderful Life "No man is a failure who has friends" and with the popularity of the film and its association with Christmas it may be a platitude at this point but that didn't undermine how right and appropriate and meaningful the sentiment was for us in the moment. The whole experience made me realize there are some things that can't be stolen. We are beyond grateful.

Our friends and family have not only given us warmth and support(both financial and emotional) but they've also given us strength. I'd like to think I'm relatively independent and capable, both practically and emotionally, and that may be true to a certain extent but that attitude can get in the way of asking for help when its needed. We all need help from time to time, whether we realize it or not, and its important to seek it out and ask for it as well as accept it when its offered. It doesn't make you weak or needy, in fact it makes you stronger. At least that's how I felt this week. Bolstered up and enlivened. Thanks again to all those who reached out with kind words and encouragement.