The Last Rose

As I walk around the city I see a lot of wilting dying flowers. This may be the last healthy flower that I see this year. Winter is coming. I'm not dreading it but I'm certainly not looking forward to it.

There's something comforting about a bright flower in a patch of brown fallen leaves. Something resilient. A pocket of warmth in the cold.

It gives me hope.

Cage

I sat up and looked around. I'm in a cave or a cell of some sort. There's no door. There are air shafts on the ceiling every ten feet or so. I can see blue sky and clouds. "Hello!" I wait poised under the shaft. Each opening is ten inches by ten inches and I guess that it's about twenty five feet to the surface. Not something I could fit through could I even reach the ceiling. I wait. No answer.

I walk the perimeter of my pen. It's fifty feet by fifteen feet. There's a rusty spigot on one of the short ends which produces fresh, cold, albeit sulfury water. I drink and realize I'm very thirsty. I drink more. There is no food and no toilet. I designate a corner on the opposite end from the spigot as my latrine and christen it.

I search my person. I have the cloths I'm wearing: jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt, boxers, thick socks, sturdy tennis shoes, a belt, a lighter, and a hardware store pocket knife with a blade that measures three inches.

Without food I calculate that I can survive eight to ten weeks given the fact I'm slightly over weight. I figure that my strength will decrease but not drastically decrease until week six.

I don't feel panic or much concern. I don't ever remember feeling much of anything. Maybe that's why I'm here.

Nerves

bursting bubbles
crawling gum
itching insides
acidic glum

insides out
outsides in
sagging tightrope
reality's thin

big moments come
then they go
climb as high
above the low

show what you can
which makes you tick
and then move on
don't stay sick

'Holy Motors' & 'Lincoln' Reviews

Holy Motors is a french film about an actor. Mr. Oscar played by Denis Levant is ferried by white limousine between 11 different 'appointments' for each of which he plays a different part. From motion-capture artist to deranged leprechaun to dying father. Levant's performance is absolutely memorizing from frame one. He embodies completely and convincing every form he takes. When he is just himself there is a blankness about him which is equally if not the most compelling. The transformative effort of his performance is stunning.

This is the most interesting narrative film I have seen all year. The concept grabs you, the acting hooks you, and the story leaves you wanting more. The film is very self referential and referential to film in general. The way the film is framed is somewhat unconventional and there are bizarre moments but it only heightens the impact of it.

There are some small problems like a scene where the premise of the film is explained, unnecessarily, about 2/3 of the way through. The ending as well is somewhat unsatisfying and absurd but doesn't spoil the feeling you take away.

My favorite section of the film was a musical interlude with about ten accordions. The film is fun, makes you think, and answers about as many questions as it raises.

Don't Miss It.

Lincoln is a struggle between two incomplete films. It can't decide if it's a historical epic or a character study. Daniel Day-Lewis's performance as Lincoln is amazing and the way he relates to regular citizens, his family, and his fellow politicians is engaging to watch. The parts of the film that work are the smaller moments. The moments where we see the day to day operation of the presidency and how politics could have been conducted in that time. Negotiations, bargains, lobbying. The parts of the film that didn't work were all the "broad epic" stuff. Music swelling, lines like "This will go down in history", and the reciting of the Gettysburg address by soldiers to Lincoln. There was a lot of fat in the film that could have been cut(Joseph Gordon-Levitt) which wasn't. There was no need to have a running time over two hours.

Over-all lots of hits, lots of misses. Maybe Spielberg is too big for anyone to actually criticize him anymore.

Rent It.

Inciting Incident 6

I ask friends "When did you first feel the need to perform?" this comes from my Rick teammate and voracious reader Ms. Laura Wilkinson.

Point Of No Return

Today is four months.

In my past attempts I haven't made it this far. At first I was scared. It's a no man's land where I haven't been before. I don't know what to expect. This is all new territory. But then I realized it's just like anything else. Go in, do your best, take it one day at a time, if need be one hour or one moment at a time. Everything is manageable moment to moment. Everything can be dealt with either by taking the time to think it through or by calling friends and loved ones. I've learned that my perception and my reactions to things may not be 100% reliable. That's why I take a second and slow things down, try to asses what's really going on. If I can't I call someone who can. Simple.

Day to day life is sometimes easy. Those are the good days. When it's hard you have to get through it. That's life. I'm an adult. And I've always found, with a clear head, the good days always out weight the bad.

Graffiti 80: Philadelphia

Evidently Philadelphia is very anti-graffiti. There weren't a lot of tags or stickers up. There were a lot of murals done by the Philadelphia Mural Arts Program. Back in the 80's the city hired an artist who in turn reached out to graffiti artist to collaborate and make murals in stead of graffiti. The idea I like but the product for the most part seemed variations on the same kind of design over and over again. The murals broke up the landscape, which I appreciated, but were all very similar(at least the ten or so that I saw). People painted in similar ways over and over. I wish the artists would have gotten a little more freedom. It seemed that because of the cities involvement they were only allowed to paint within certain perameters and restricitons. The above is not a mural but a large poster glued to the side of a building.

This is a band which I have never heard of but I think its kind of funny.

Demon-monkey?

Mickey Mouse flipping the bird.

I don't really know what to make of this but my money is on the bear.

"Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life- think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just let every other idea alone. This is the way of success." -Swami Vivekananda

Always be prepared.

"A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long." -e.e. cummings

Thanksgiving

My family drove out to Philadelphia to spend Thanksgiving with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin. We use to do this every year when I was growing up but haven't made the trip in ten or so years. It was a wonderful visit with an excellent meal prepared expertly by my Uncle Mike. He makes the best stuffing I've ever had. Today we went into to Philly proper to see some sites. Of course we had to visit and pay homage to the recently restored Rocky statue at the art museum.

My sister wanted to go to the Comcast center which boasts the largest HD TV in the world. I wasn't very impressed but there were hundreds of people there to see there twenty minute 'show'. Personally I don't get it, we're addicted to TV too much as is.

This is the top of the Comcast building. I wonder if that square indentation is suppose to resemble a TV. Or maybe it's just the CEO's deck.

This was an old guard tower which was left alone while a bunch of condo's were built around it.

For some unknown reason my Uncle Mike took us to Fort Mifflin on the way downtown. No one really wanted to visit there. There wasn't much to it but this was one of the munitions storage mounds.

A Philly sunset.

All in all it was a great trip. I haven't spent that much time with my family in years. And I haven't seen our Philly relatives all together for a while. It was a nice trip, a nice change of pace, a wonderful dinner, and some casual sight seeing. I missed a show and I did most of the driving but it was worth it.

The low light though was the scarcity of coffee. My Aunt and Uncle don't drink coffee and so didn't have any in house. It was a trial each morning to have my morning coffee and cigarette. Who doesn't drink coffee?

I'm thankful for my friends, family, Punam, and this wonderful world I've found myself in.

Stuffing rules.

A Disturbing Dream 5

I'm in Japan. I'm incarcerated in a fortified mansion with 50 or so follow inmates. I'm the only white person and English speaker in the structure. Everyone speaks Japanese and I'm unable to understand anything that is said. Although the mansion is lavish our mobility and the things we can do are limited.

I have a friend. He's a young 17 or 18 year old Japanese boy. We walk around the common area communicating with basic sign language. I know that he has a family outside that is in some kind of trouble. We interact with other people trying to solicit someone who can get a message outside. We talk to an old man who indicates he can get a message to my friends family. I am the designated lookout as this meeting is held.

Time passes. We play ping-pong at which my friend beats me heartily. After a meal of rice, which we all eat in the common room, cross-legged on the floor, we return to our rooms. There are guards waiting for us at the door to ours. They begin to take my friend away. To be tortured, I know without having to be told, for his attempt at trying to communicate with the outside. A despair grips me. I know I have no one outside counting on me or waiting for my return. I get the attention of the head guard and indicate I will take my friends place. I will endure his punishment for him. He thinks and nods, this is an acceptable replacement.

As I'm escorted towards the torture room a hush falls on all the inmates. They look down, avoiding eye contact. I look back and glimpse my friend briefly as he is shoved into our room.

I enter a room with a large roaring fire in a fire place. There are two wooden poles fixed to the ground about two feet away from the blaze. My shirt is taken off and neatly folded on a table. I'm tied to the poles facing the fire. I hear one of the guards pick something up. Then the experimental crack of a whip. I wait. I feel wind on my back then a streak of pain.

I awoke.

'Skyfall' & 'Wreck-It Ralph' Reviews

Skyfall is the latest installment in the Bond series. This is my most recent viewing which I regret going in with expectations. I went into the film only having the title of Ebert's review "Best Bond film in years" which constricted my viewing pleasure. The film continues with the trend it has taken since instating Daniel Craig as Bond. It's darker, there's more action, and there is very little evidence of the 'suave' James Bond of old. This film feels more like a British Bourne movie rather than a Bond film.

That being said the movie is enjoyable. Daniel Craig's performance finally hits home as Bond because he is aging and has lost a step. He is an outdated asset in a technologically advanced world. Bond is vulnerable, he is psychologically damaged, and lacks the constant pose present in previous films. Javier Bardem puts in a great performance as a quirky, somewhat flamboyant mastermind. All the scenes with him are totally gripping.

The ending sequence of the film is by far it's most engaging. It's beautifully shot, well acted, has exciting action, and provides some history on Bond's background heretofore unexplored. The movie clocks in at around 2 and a half hours which is way too long. Because of this it drags at parts which the ending makes up for. A good film not a great film. Probably the best Bond movie since Goldeneye but in between then and now it doesn't have much competition. 

See It.

Wreck-It Ralph is a feel-good kids film. It provides exactly what you would expect from the trailers and a Disney film. Children and parents will enjoy it because it's simple, fun, and funny with a good lesson. Twenty and thirty somethings might enjoy it for the plethora of video game references. Because it is a PG film it doesn't go any deeper than "lonely guy goes on adventure, finds friendship". While the graphics are 3D the story stays strictly in one dimension.

Rent It.

Inciting Incident 5

I ask friends "When did you first feel the need to perform?" This comes from actor, musician, and Talkie Pictures creator Brendan Kelly.

Bowling Again

Punam's birthday was today and it was wonderful. The highlight for me was going bowling. Sarah, Punam, and I went to the Diversey Bowl and played two games. I haven't been bowling in a while but everything came back pretty quick. And a lot of memories too.

When I was really young my dad would take me bowling. He was in a battle of the sexes with a woman from his office and he would go to practice most weekends. He would bring me along. I would usually play one game maybe two. He would give me some pointers but I didn't really have much interest at the time. What I did have interest in was the arcade.

After my attention wandered my dad would give me some quarters to go play in the arcade. My favorite game there was Street Fighter II. I got progressively better at it the more we went. At the time I don't remember being really good at anything. I didn't excel at anything at that time, I think I was 7 or 8.

One day a couple of tough older kids came up to me while I was playing Street Fighter II. They wanted to play. They challenged me to a game with the winner "controlling" the consoul. I had never played anyone else just the computer and I think at the time we didn't have Nintendo or anything at my house yet. I was nervous but I said ok, I just wanted to keep playing.

I trounced him. I trounced his buddy. They got more of their friends and I beat all of them too. Instead of being mad at me they were in awe of how good I was and cheered me on. It was the first time I ever felt exceptional at anything.

Whenever I go into a bowling alley I think of that moment and smile.

Friend Zone

From A Friend

The only reason someone would use a bullshit buzzword to describe a situation in which someone else is not attracted to them sexually or romantically but enjoys their friendship, is if they felt entitled to that individual's love/sex/what have you. Or maybe if they don't like themselves enough to be okay when someone doesn't want to fuck them or date them.... so they have to make up excuses.The concept of being "friendzoned" is absurd. What extra bothers me about this is that it's typically gendered. We tell women "he's just not that into you." We tell men, "awhhhh dude bro, you got friendzooooned. all those hours of actting liiike a guud persson 'n' listening n pretennding to care about anything but thaat puss = LOST, dude." or "aaaaaah you got FRIENDZONED!!! "THEY" never like the nice guys! Nice guys finish last! What a dumb bitch!" 

Friendzoning isn't a thing. The men I'm friends with? I didn't pursue sexually because I didn't want to. My feelings for them manifested in a Platonic way. If one of my male friends tried to change our relationship, and I said, oh no, dude, we're friends, I have not "friendzoned" them. I've clearly defined the thing I feel and the relationship we have. If a male friend's friendship with me was a ruse to try to get inside my vagina? That friend is a fucking asshole, and not a friend really. 

In short, you didn't get friendzoned, you're just not attractive to that person. Deal with it. Find your league. Be less of an entitled, whiny, creep, and maybe a woman will like you.

Be Bold

This is my latest collaboration with the Beanpole. When I first asked him to make me an image for the purpose of graffiti I gave him the quote "Struggle Not Submission". This time I gave him "Be Bold" from the Robert Frost quote "Freedom lies in being bold." It's eerie sometimes how things overlap. I've been listening to a lot of Radiolab recently. A couple great episodes are about space. How vast it is, how unknown, how full of possibility. I didn't tell Beanpole any of this of course.

He just knew.

Creative Endeavors

Molly and I after Poppycock's first show

This week has been great. I felt like my creative output was on full.

Poppycock: Molly had a dream that we did a two person improv show and the name of it was Poppycock. She told me about it the next day. We figured it was a sign and got a slot. Our first show was last night and it was great. It was Molly's first two person show. The crowd was packed and they loved it. The show was slow paced and grounded, playful and fun. I broke super hard in the middle of a scene where I was Molly's mom berating her for being in love.

Talkie Pictures: BK asked me to shoot some videos. We did one where I slammed George R. R. Martin. Dreams do come true!

Salute Jive: Julia and I had our first show since July. Both of us were a little nervous before hand but we clicked right into place once the show started. We got the longest laughs we've ever had. Fast and fun and effortless.

Bubble Boys: Tisher and I are writing an episodic radio show. I'm really excited about this and we've been talking about it for a while. We finally got episode one on paper and planned out. It should be recorded and available for your ear holes some time in the next couple weeks.

Its always satisfying to perform. But it's even more satisfying to utilize multiple types of media. I'm realizing that I'm in a place now that if I have an idea I can get it out there. There's no reason not to be as eclectic as possible with presentation. I have many talented friends with many different skills. And they're all game to create.

'The Flat' A Review

The Flat is an Israeli documentary which follows Arnon Goldfinger as he cleans out his grandmother's apartment after her death. He finds evidence of a friendship between his grandparents and a member of the SS in Nazi Germany before their forced immigration to Israel. As he digs deeper he uncovers more information including their friendship after the war. He delves further into his families past uncovering disquieting things.

The film unravels a mystery but raises very complicated questions. Questions that can't be answered or simply have no answer. Why do people do the things they do?

It's an insightful, moving, dense film that examines an incomprehensible friendship in the wake of the Holocaust.

See It.

Street Talk 9

I was getting on the train today and my CTA card must have gotten demagnetized. It showed me an error message on the turn style "see attendant". The attendant was very harried and seemed annoyed.

Woman: (thick accent) It no work! It no work!
CTA Attendant: OK, try this one here.
Woman: I had 5 dollars! I had 5 dollars.
CTAA: (irritated) You still have 5 dollars just go through.
Woman: But I already, I already, I already...I payed two twenty five already! It charge me!
CTAA: (louder, more irritated) It's charging you 25 cents! (woman boards) Jeez...(to me) Yeah?
Me: My card won't work. I have $8.10 on it.
CTAA: (rolls eyes) Try this one here. (I try it, it gives same error) Hold on, I'll get you a new card(sighs)
Couple: Excuse me?
CTAA: Yeah?
Couple: We're trying to get to 322 N. Jefferson...?
CTAA: (sighs, shuts eyes, pause, opens eyes) Go up the stairs here walk north to the elevated train stop then get on the green line and your stop is Clinton. Get off at Clinton. Then head west to Jefferson then take a right.
Couple: Thank you so much.
CTAA: Yeah. (to me, sighs) OK, you got your ID? This gonna take a minute.
Me: (smiles) Here ya go.
Snooty Woman: Excuse me?
CTAA: (frowns) Ahhhhh Yeah?
Snooty Woman: I'm looking for (unintelligible). You know by the Marriott.
CTAA: (rolls eyes) Yeah I know it. Go up to Grand and head east.
Snooty Woman: ...Grand...um...Grand.
CTAA: (disgusted sound, pause) So I got you a new card-
Cute Little Boy: (runs up, jumps to the window) Boo!
CTAA: (face lights up with the most amazing warm smile) Oh, hello! How are you today?
Cute Little Boy: Trains! (ducks below window, jumps up) Boo! (runs off to his mom)
CTAA: (chuckles) Ok here's your replacement card and I'll give you a free ride for the inconvenience. Sorry about the wait.
Me: Thanks. No problem at all. (smiles big) Have a great day!
CTAA: (returns smile, big and honest) You too.

Graffiti 79

"I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance." -e.e. cummings

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." -D.H. Lawrence

"I don't ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful." -Pete Hamill

Inciting Incident 4

I ask friends "When did you first feel the need to perform?" This comes from my beloved collaborator and Shrink creator Ted Tremper.

Gratitude 4

I'm grateful for these last warm days.
I'm grateful for coffee and cigarettes.
I'm grateful for Punam and her love.
I'm grateful for stages to perform on.
I'm grateful for an understanding and loving family.
I'm grateful for Radiolab.
I'm grateful for Adam and Beanpole's joking texts.
I'm grateful for vegetables.
I'm grateful for cooking oil.
I'm grateful for salt.
I'm grateful for candles.
I'm grateful for fantasy books.
I'm grateful for reconnecting and staying connected with friends.
I'm grateful for feelings and talking about them.
I'm grateful for ideas and paper and ink and glue and push pins.
I'm grateful for hot showers and sandalwood soap.
I'm grateful for dreams even ones that leave me uneasy when I awake.
I'm grateful for movies and dark theaters.
I'm grateful for iO and all the friends and opportunities I've been given there.
I'm grateful for Christmas lights and candy.
I'm grateful for wind and clouds and sun and full moons.

And you, always you.

'Flight' & 'The Man With The Iron Fists' Reviews

Flight is a movie about a struggling alcoholic. The film opens with Whip, played by Denzel Washington, waking up, finishing a beer, doing some coke, and then flying a commercial flight. During the flight there is a mechanical failure and the plane goes down. Whip pilots the plane to a miraculous landing saving 96 of the 102 people on board. The rest of the film follows the fallout of the crash.

The first half of the movie is great. Denzel's performance is nuanced and engaging. The film falls apart however because it doesn't go anywhere. The second half of the movie loops in on itself and repeats the same series of actions over and over. Denzel's love interest is so underdeveloped and contrived it takes you out of the film anytime it's shoehorned into the plot. The ending is sappy, unsatisfying, and unbelievable.

After ten years of dealing with computers it seems Robert Zemeckis has forgotten how human's actually work.

Rent It.

The Man With The Iron Fists is a Kung fu movie written, directed, and starring RZA. The dialogue is terrible, the plot makes no sense, but the fighting is great. As I watched it I felt like it was a complete waste of time until I realized what a passion project it was for RZA. Everyone knows how much the Wu Tang Clan loves Kung fu movies. And it's obvious that a lot of love went into the movie however poorly it turned out. If RZA decides to make another movie I would simply suggest working with a professional screenwriter.

And the wigs were absolutely terrible.

Don't See It.

No Guts No Glory

The other night I saw something wonderful. I went to see 'Give Me 5' at The Playground which is a 5 minute solo performance competition. I knew most of the people performing and I'm always curious about the kind of solo stuff people write. I was entertained although not very surprised about most of the content until the last performer got up: Gary Richardson.

Gary is a friend who I've coached and performed with for a while now. His 5 minutes started off with someone introducing him as stand up Darryl Tubs. He warmed up the crowd by letting us know this was his 10 o'clock show not his 8 o'clock show. This was his dirty show. Then he started in on his act. Gary told a story about being in an ice cream parlor when an Italian woman and her son came in. The mother asked the son what kind of ice cream he wanted and he replied "poo-poo ice cream". What followed was one of the ballsiest performances I've seen in a while. For 5 minutes Gary went after and tore down Italians using slurs like wop, gabbagool, goombah, greaseball, and guinea. The gist of all stemming from this woman's child being dumb for calling chocolate ice cream poo-poo ice cream. After his time was already up he got serious and told a story about his girlfriend being killed by an Italian in a car accident. His set concluded with him being disqualified from the competition for using racial slurs, him picking up his bag, and leaving the theater.

I was entranced from the beginning. The rest of the audience seemed not to know how to take it. Gary committed so hard to playing this character and aggressively and offensively disparaging Italians. Of course Gary doesn't hate Italians and there is another level to the performance. Possibly a comment on that kind of set. Or a comment on that kind of comedy taken to an extreme in order to make a point. I understood that instinctually possibly because I know Gary but I think more so because anyone with any comedy experience would realize this kind of attack isn't funny taken on a superficial level.

Gary went up there and sold it. He committed to being unlikable and saying offensive things. He did it with an edge which was in-your-face forcing the audience to react. Which they did, me with joy the rest with confusion and some with dislike. It was a risk which he took and didn't apologize for. It wasn't safe, it wasn't some regurgitation of a bit that has been done before and it wasn't some standard observational humor. I applaud the risk.

Gary's set wasn't about putting down Italians, although that was the content. It was about something on another level. And that is something I'm always delighted to see. Something I wish I saw more of.

Take a risk. Do something different. Surprise us.

Flowers Under Streetlight

People fear the night.
And well they should.
Shadows and unseen things.
Lurking at the edge.
But there is beauty even in the dark.

A Fable About Sorrow

There once was a shark who was tired of swimming.
He swam slower and slower and slower.
Hoping one day he would finally stop altogether.
More often than not he let the current carry him along.
One day, as he inched through the deep he realized he was not alone.
He saw an old sea turtle swimming with him.
The turtle looked at him and grinned.
"Move, son." he said "You have to move."
"Why? There's no point..." the shark replied.
"Oh but there is my son. Glories to see, morsels to eat, places to go, and creatures to meet."

Inciting Incident 3

I ask friends "When did you first feel the need to perform?" Performance artist Heather Perry talks about theater vs. music. You can find info on her current band here: Bring Your Ray Gun.

The Dog Catcher

From Schwa last night. Jamison has been playing with us the past couple weeks which has been really fun. Joe was also in town so we had a full roster with a lot of energy. Playing with Schwa is almost always the high light of my week. I never know who will be there and I never know what we're going to do.

A Disturbing Dream 4

I'm 13. I'm in Jordan's house, my childhood best friend. It's night. His brother Ryan and him are trying to convince me to kill their dad Mark. They keep trying to push an Israeli made Uzi into my hands. Finally I except. They tell me that it is set on semi-automatic and has 30 rounds in the clip.

Mark, their father, comes home shortly after I've agreed to kill him. He comes into the kitchen through the garage. It's dark. No lights are on in the house. I'm crouching in the doorway to the dining room. As he comes into the kitchen he says "Hello?" and Jordan and Ryan both shout "Now! Now!"

I fire six shots into Mark's chest. He falls to the ground and groans. I stand and take a step closer, he's still moving. Panic drowns me. What have I done? What have I done? I fire again. Three shots. Two in the chest one goes wild and grazes his leg. I see blood. He lies still. Blood begins to flow from the leg wound and soak the kitchen tiles. I step closer to look at the body, horrified, but it is in deep shadow. The only thing I can see  in the kitchen is a pool of blood in a shaft of moonlight. I lay the Uzi next to the body. I have a fleeting thought of concocting a tale of suicide but I know that is useless. I'm going to jail.

Ryan and Jordan call to me from the front room. They are sitting on their couching waiting patiently for their mother to come home. Both have peaceful faces. I think there must have been things going on in that house which I had no idea of. The family always seemed nice to me but I get the sense of some underlying wrongness.

Their mother returns and before her sons can offer any explanation Mark walks in flicking on the kitchen light as he leaves it. The kitchen is splattered with blood, so much blood I think he cannot be alive. As we all stare at him in silence he reaches into his shirt and pulls out a large ring of keys. Bullet slugs have fused some of the keys together but it is clear they have stopped all the shots save for the one that grazed his leg. "Boys it's time to clean." We silently trudge into the kitchen and start to clean up the blood. "You're not leaving until all this is clean." he says to me. We begin to clean but whatever we do stains remain. Ryan and Jordan look deflated, defeated. I scrub the sink and think: how did blood get in here? And as I scrub the blood remains. I realize we'll be cleaning this kitchen until Mark is satisfied. On and on and on. How many times have Jordan and Ryan done this? Many times. And now I'm here until he lets me go.

I awoke.

'Brooklyn Castle' A Review

Brooklyn Castle is a documentary about a junior high chess team. It follows a number of kids over the course of two seasons of chess. The kids are good-natured, driven, and inspiring. The film emphasises chess as a teaching tool and a life tool. It also highlights the students economic struggles and their tenuous futures. A simple, feel-good film that makes you want to give something back.

See It.

Graffiti 78

I was in the west loop the other day for maybe the first time ever. I saw this and it captured my attention. Love is all around us. Follow the path, any path, and you'll find it. Just don't stand still.

"Can miles truly separate you from friends...if you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" -Richard Bach

"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than he was he, and I was I." -Michel de Montaigne

"Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." -David Grayson

Halloween

Punam and I had shows at The Playground last night. She went as zombie Rosanne. I didn't dress up, I never do. I've only dressed up once in the past fifteen years. I went as Alex from Clockwork Orange when I was a senior in college.

Living in Chicago Halloween loses some it's verve. I wish it was darker, I wish there was a wood to walk in, I wish the graveyards didn't have street lights ringing them. I wish everyone didn't dress trashy, I wish everyone didn't get so drunk, if you're going to dress trashy go after the real pagan roots of the holiday and hook up with a stranger and never reveal who you are, I wish there were more kids trick-or-treating.

Halloween has lost almost all it's appeal for me. I use to love it, now I don't really notice it or care. Next year I want to do something fun. Something scary. Maybe I'll dust off the Ouija board and try to talk to H. H. Holmes.