Truth Will Out

I'm a proficient liar. As a product of being raised by two lawyers and some unfortunate habits I developed growing up I became very good at misdirection, omission, and untruth. I became interested in acting and performing when I was young and that also enhanced my abilities for interpersonal deception. The key to a good lie is three fold.

1. Believe It- You have to summon up the same kind of ease you have when telling something that's true. There's a little switch in your brain you can flip to make yourself believe, on a very basic superficial level, something false is true for a short time in order to deceive someone.

2. Elements of Truth-  If your story or deception has elements of truth in it it will be easier to tell. Out-and-out lies are difficult to tell because of all the unknown variables, but lies with parts of truth will make the lies sound true.

3. Simplicity- The more complex the lie or deception the easier it is to identify as an untruth. Keep things simple, the simplest explanations are usually the correct ones, most everyone operates on this basic reasoning, so something simple will not set off any flags but something elaborate will invite scrutiny.

I don't advocate lying and I'm not proud of having done it or the time I spent analyzing its application. I list this information here to give some credence to my experience with it and my subsequent change of heart.

For the past couple years I've tried to analyze my own behavior and be more truthful. In the past year I've tried not to lie at all and have been moderately successful. The reason being I discovered how pointless, selfish, and harmful it is.

In order to be happy you need to have relationships, romantic and otherwise, you need to have friends and family that love and support you and that you love and support in turn. Those relationships, those connections, are two way streets, they are partnerships, and are built on a level of trust. Lying and deceiving your loved ones degrades that bond, breaks it down, until you are left with shallow connections or no connections at all. Loneliness is a toxic thing, it breeds desperation and dangerous behavior. They way to combat that is simply to be honest. It may be hard at times to express yourself, it may be a challenge, but in the end expressing yourself and having your needs known and listening to the needs of others strengthens your relationships as well as your well being. If you have honest fruitful relationships you will be happy and balanced. Not all the time of course but more often than not.

Deception creates drama, creates tension, creates pain and misunderstanding and hurt. The more lies you tell the more they have to be maintained with other lies. And in the end the truth always comes to light. Truth will out. It's buoyant. And once it does there's collateral damage to deal with. Save yourself the trouble and be as truthful as you can be to forgo all that. Life is never simple but we can manage and grow and develop ourselves if we stay open and consider the needs and wants and desires of those around us as well as our own.

Stay in your truth.