Through most of the summer I felt like I was on a bit of an improv hot-streak. Things were clicking, inspiration was coming fluidly, and I was consistent. Whenever I feel on a bit of a run I know a rut is sure to follow and the past two weeks I've felt a bit off. Uninspired, flat-footed, empty.
A couple times during the Prime show tonight I'd just stare at Scott and have nothing to say, find myself drawing a complete blank. Of course with Scott it doesn't much matter, he's a machine, he pushed through and my momentary lapses probably didn't register to the audience. But of course I knew.
It's bad enough getting on stage and feeling stale its worse looking into your friend and collaborator's eyes and having nothing to offer. Felt guilty after, like I was letting my teammates down, not pulling my weight. But of course it didn't register much with them, most of the judgement and deficiency is internal.
Performing in any medium you are always learning, always struggling. always going through periods of mastery and inability. You set challenges for yourself, jar yourself out of routines, keep at it and eventually you come out of it to some greater realization.
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