Last night around 9:30pm I made a pot a coffee and drank it. I've always been a night person and my creative engine gets going at night. I settled in and did some writing while finishing up Deadwood season 3.
I got in bed around 1am, tossed and turned and had an allergic reaction to Nicole's cat Ms. Kitty. My armpits got red and furiously itchy. Took some Wal-dryl and finally faded out around 4.
Today I've felt groggy and guilty. Yesterday I engaged in some of the same behaviors I did when I was drinking, minus the booze of course. Staying up late for no particular reason fortified by a beverage, getting in bed late, unable to actually fall asleep.
It's weird how comfortable it is, falling back into old patterns. How they resurrect those feelings of lethargy and shirked responsibility I thought long gone.
The good news is I'm capable now of working through the discomfort. Move through it and passed it. Without the drink there are a lot of feelings, good and bad, I'm grateful for them all.
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