The Numbers For 2017

Year #5 without a drink. Thanks to all the friends, family, and strangers who helped along the way.

I went on 4 vacations(Harrisburg, NYC, Denver, New Orleans).

I did 48 shows with Deep Schwa.

I did 45 shows with Sight Unseen.

The Night Shift did 1 show.

I co-wrote and performed 1 sketch show 5 times.

I conceived and shot 20 interviews for a documentary tentatively titled Chiaroscuro.

I wrote 62 poems, 1 essay, and did 6 readings.

I watched 78 movies in the theater.

I read 68 books my favorite of which was The Antagonist by Lynn Coady.

I went to 1 concert(Willie Nelson).

I saw 1 of my heroes in the flesh(Chris Rock).

I went to 2 plays(Linda Vista, Doll's House Part 2).

I went to 2 weddings.

I went to 0 funerals.

I went to 2 Michelin starred restaurants.

I moved once.

I babysat my niece for the first time.

I learned and cooked 6 crock pot recipes.

I rode my motorcycle for 7 months. I changed the battery once.

Nicole and I celebrated our 4th Anniversary.

I'm grateful for it all.

'I, Tonya' A Review

I, Tonya is a biopic about Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding- her childhood struggles, quick ascension, troubled marriage, and the 1994 attack on Nancy Kerrigan which, by her implication, ended Harding's career. The film has a relatively straightforward liner timeline punctuated by mockumentary style interviews(based on actual archival interviews) as well as periodic breaking of the fourth wall and voice over narration. The film follows Tonya as a little girl with her interests in hunting and mechanics juxtaposed with her passion and talent for skating. A tumultuous and abusive relationship with her mother also develops. As she gets older her ambition grows and she struggles to fulfill her dream- winning gold at the Olympics- battling an abusive husband, economic prejudice, and self-doubt.

Robbie as the titular Tonya gives the best performance of her career, certainly helps that it is the meatiest and she appears as a producer on the film. Robbie attacks the role with a frenetic energy that imbues the character with a truth and an authentic magnetic vitality that brought the real world athlete fame and then infamy. Sebastian Stan as the meek but abusive, controlling but milquetoast Gillooly also puts in a career high turn, again not because of lack of talent but of opportunity. The third big presence in the film and the big supporting role is Tonya's mother played by Allison Janney. In a year filled with great complicated mothers Janney may take a back seat to Metcaff in Lady Bird and McDormand in Three Billboards but in any other year this performance would be singularly compelling and horrifying. The film starts off with a dark but overtly comic tone but over the course of the run time these three are able to maintain the humor but also provide some incredibly compelling emotional dimension as well as do justice to this American Legend with a refreshing lack of judgement. The poverty and abuse that we see Tonya grow up in is played so casually(and truthfully) it hits hard and provides a context that the media and history have here-to-for not given Harding.

The cinematic flourishes like the occasion direct addresses don't always work and gradually fade out as the movie progresses but even so its refreshing that the attempt is made. In our current cinematic landscape there is a lot of sameness especially in editing and construction. And so the breaking of the fourth wall, the interviews, the narration in a way echo the vitality and rebellious spirit of its subject. Not always successful but unique.

Tonya Harding's involvement in what the film dubs "the incident" is mostly irrelevant in the context of the film. What I, Tonya does is it allows Tonya Harding- an American Olympian- to be seen as human for what is seemingly the first time. And the context and consideration the film provides is not only entertaining but is decidedly moving.

Don't Miss It.

Sound Thief

Winter
never comes as a surprise
but it is shocking
when the temp drops
steadily
from 40 to 30 to 20
and then
to 10
and then
to 1
and below
clothes stiffen
minds slow
breath burns in throats
lethargy spreads
and the world quiets
frozen
as if in anticipation
or perhaps
simple
silent
hibernation

Xmas 2017

Had a wonderful if hectic holiday. Nicole came back with me which was really nice and although my mom is still recovering from a broken ankle and princess Maris required, justly and joyously, some significant attention we all pitched in and had a nice celebration.

 Santa even showed up at one point!

 I cooked a bit more than I usually do which was nice to be able to do because over the past year I've really broadened my repitore of the various meals I can prepare. Nothing earth shattering or anything but some good mostly healthy dishes.

Maris was, of course, the star of the weekend. It's been incredible to watch her progress since she was born but especially over the past six months or so. She's talking, she's walking, she has an insatiable curiosity, it's really inspiring and at times exhausting. Provides me with a new found respect for parents, how much energy and focus and time a child requires. Big rewards, certainly, but a big cost. It was especially cool because I had babysat her last week and she remembered me which was very cool.

A nice holiday but a lot going on for various reasons. I may take some extra time off next year to just be able to appreciate it more, so it doesn't feel like such a whirl-wind. Either way lovely time with my loving family.

'Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle' A Review

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is a family fantasy adventure film more inspired by than a sequel to the 1995 original. The magic board game has transformed into a video game and after gather dust for twenty years four high schoolers(two nerds and two popular kids) with detention uncover it and get sucked in after selecting their avatars. Only by working together and winning the game will they be able to escape it.

The Rock is the defacto lead as nerd Spencer's avatar Dr. Bravestone, playing against type as a meek over thinking dork, is excellent but the four really anchor the film and make it feel like a true ensemble. Jack Black is hilarious with some surprising dimension as social media obsessed Bethany's avatar Prof. Osbourne. Kevin Hart is servicable as jock footballer Fridge's avatar Mouse Finbar but plays more in support of the other three. Karen Gillian is bookish Martha's avatar and is also able to mine laughs as well as a surprising amount of pathos given the relatively light and fast-paced story. The supporting cast are all good but none are given that much to do save the core four and that's fine, the four leads seem to relish and excel with the psuedo dual roles and action-comedy tone.

In a year of sequels and franchise installments and reboots Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle rises above not only because of its unabashed sense of play even exuberance but also because it gives only the slightest tip of the hat to the original. In the first 30 seconds of the film due diligence is done and context is provided, after that there are only a few pleasing but absolutely non-crucial references. This allows the story to live on its own and it is liberating, over the past year, hell recent years, nostalgia has been milked so frequently it is almost dry. The film realizes that and creates something incredibly refreshing if not exactly new.

Chock full of humor and adventure. A great balm to franchise fatigue. Hollywood take note.

See It.

Stop

On top of physical discomfort sickness eats up large slices of the clock.

I hope I'm not shackled much by time

but I do value activities, actions, and tasks accomplished.

So yesterday hobbled by a cold

I regretfully cancelled two standing appointments.

Unable to do much save endure I sat on the couch worrying over the things I was not doing.

I was in condition to nothing. Full stop.

As a free-wheeling, free-thinking, antonymous human being with much to do and write and see

it feels almost cosmically perverse

to be leveled by never-ending snot.

But I take my licks. Humbled by the common cold. Just another organism, no better or worse.

Floating, sneezing, labored breathing.

Waiting on incubation, white cell generation, and the methodical ticking of the clock.

Plans

Not to say every minute
must be structured
but it may prevent us
from becoming flustered

putting thought into a schedule
and establishing a routine
can protect from the contortions
of life's grinding machine

spontaneity might be nice
for those below a certain age
but adulthood has a price
and presents it's own type of cage

so you must fight against the clock
carve out time for desire and want
seize the chance to walk, weep, and talk
not all have the privilege of debutantes

'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' A Review

Star Wars: The Last Jedi is a space opera the 8th installment in the Star Wars series the second in the most recent trilogy. The film takes place directly after the events of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It opens on a dogfight as the Resistance evacuates their base under fire from the First Order. As the Resistance under General Leia(Carrie Fisher) attempts to escape the First Order ships across the galaxy Rey(Daisy Ridley) begins her somewhat rocky training with the reluctant Luke(Mark Hamill).

More an ensemble piece than its predecessor the defacto lead Ridley does well, displaying more poise and conveying more dimension than before. She has great chemistry with Adam Driver(returning as Kylo Ren) and the two are able to investigate the emotional duality the series is famous for. Fisher's role grows in this installment and she meets and exceeds the challenge, as does Oscar Issac's Poe Dameron. The pair also have excellent chemistry and given time to develop it. The one character who recedes slightly in this installment is Finn, somewhat a disservice to the capable and compelling John Boyega but the character is seemingly set up for more in the trilogy conclusion. Hamill is a real stand out, bringing gravitas, regret, and pain to this incarnation of the legendary Skywalker, it's surprising, funny, and not necessarily what you want but feels true to the character and to the story.

The John Williams score is effective, more in keeping with the series rather than innovative but the editing takes the classic Star Wars wipe and tweaks it to great effect. There is not only split scenes between Rey and Kylo but almost every scene change is mapped over by some kind of mirrored visual or line of dialogue. The result is a gleeful, contagious momentum that propels the adventure ever forward. The third act is somewhat protracted but overall this installment delivers on the emotion and action for which the series is known, delivers twists and unexpected thrills, with service paid to fans and the previous entries but not hamstrung by them. The Force Awakens necessarily had to reset the franchise, this installment allows it to evolve.

See It.

Red Sauce

I use to hate marinera sauce
really red sauce of any type,
I'd eat my spaghetti-
plain
I'd order my moz stix-
straight up
I use to peel off the cheese,
scrape off as much sauce as I could,
 and slap the cheese back on there
(talkin bout za)
I'd spear meatballs
and flick the clinging sauce
back into the serving pot
I hated it.
God I really hated it.
Went to extravagent lengths to avoid it.
For Years.

The past two weeks
I've made a red sauce
in the crock pot
and it was good.

I've really changed.

It makes you think,
what will 2050 be like?

I also hated onions. Yuck.

Clarity Is Best

In improv the base tenant is 'Yes, And' and I have some pretty substantial ideas about how flawed that can be which I outlined in the improv online magazine The Hambook however this seems to be an issue more globally with peoples jobs, friendships, and family. Not that people are interpersonally yes-and-ing each other too much but that people in general seem to have issues with establishing boundaries, especially with friends/family/at work, acquiescing to commitments or circumstances that may in fact be presumptuous/imposing to our time or well being. The other aspect is clarity, of expectation and individual needs, in general people seem reticent to clearly communicate what's going on and what they want.

Over the past couple weeks there have been several examples of this in my life, directly and indirectly, people(myself included) being unclear about a situation, wants, needs, expectations, and the result is stress and resentment. The impulse to not set boundaries or not ask for what you need I think comes ultimately from fear(of upsetting someone, making a fuss, being perceived as being mean, demanding, alienating etc.) and this desire "not to be a bother" because we've somehow internalized this idea that actively taking care of ourselves is somehow self-serving, vain, that our wants and needs are secondary or unimportant perhaps even a burden to others.

The reality is that communicating with clarity is not only good its detrimental. We are conditioned to use vagaries and passive-aggression(as if that was effective) in the somewhat covert effort to avoid conflict(and undersell our own personal needs) when that's what communicating in that muddled inarticulate way inevitably evokes- resentment then eventual conflict. There's nothing inherently combative about saying no, about saying I'd rather not, I'm not interested, or this isn't a good time. Friends and loved ones will typically understand if you're up front and honest when they ask you to do something for/with them. It becomes messy when you acquiesce, equivocate, deny, deflect, defer, then eventually come back to the reality which is like "actually no I don't want to go to that party with you"(or whatever it may be). You've put yourself through the ringer, confused your friend, now you feel guilty because you weren't honest and direct from the jump.

The other part of it of course is you. You have to remember that you are important, what you want and need is important. Period. If you're not a relatively balanced and content individual how can you be a loving participant in your family, a supportive friend, or a competent employee. It's not only your right it's your obligation to establish and sustain, carve out and cultivate those things that you need day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month to feel good, to feel whole. Because only when you have some measure of mental/emotional/spiritual equilibrium can you really show up and be a fruitful family member/friend/employee what-have-you and in order to do that you have to occasionally set boundaries. You cannot make yourself available to the whim of the people around you, regardless of how much you love and care about them. I'm not suggesting you hoard your time and attention and only do what you want to do. What I am suggesting is be clear with people about what you will and won't do for/with them. If someone asks you for something or to do something and it's unclear to what extent you be committing yourself, ask for clarity. If someone is asking you to do something for/with them that feels to you like an imposition its OK to say no or respond with conditions.

You must consider your needs first. Not in regards to pleasure or ambition or comfort but to your mental and physical health. If you're exhausted or stressed out or overwhelmed how can you be of service to anyone?

'The Shape Of Water' A Review

The Shape Of Water is a fantasy/romance/creature-feature about Elisa(Sally Hawkins) a mute janitor at a government facility in the early 50's. While cleaning one of the labs in the facility Elisa and her friend Zelda(Octavia Spencer) witness the arrival of a new experiment/prisoner, a mysterious aquatic humanoid. After a bloody incident where Col. Strickland(Michael Shannon) gets two fingers bitten off Elisa gets some time alone with the creature and begins a casual friendship which slowly develops into a romance.

Hawkins gives a solid, unwavering, performance more inquisitive rather than emotional but still effecting. Spencer is as watchable as ever and provides some reality bonafides the film needs to avoid potential absurd pitfalls although should doesn't get much to really sink her teeth into. Richard Jenkins as Elisa's closeted friend and neighbor Giles plays it a bit big even for a film with a fish man but overall he's fine. Shannon is always compelling but he's not asked to do much we haven't already seen him do, although his arc in this film is more of a slow burn rather than his typical manic crescendos.

Visually the film is stunning, no surprise from del Toro, and although a tad shaky The Shape of Water is narratively on much firmer ground than his previous, 2015's Crimson Peak. Ultimately the film is a nostalgia piece, a throwback to golden age Hollywood musicals and love stories with some incredibly brazen and bizarre twists. There is nothing transcendent about the film, nothing terribly surprising, but it is fun and holds the interest and is beautiful to look at with one very good and very classic Michael-Shannon-recounting-a-bible-story monologue.

See It.

Listen

There's a tendency

to want to solve

the problem

to correct

suggest

advise

to try to

minimize

package

and plan

against

the chaos

that is

living

but

more often

than not

the best gift

is an open ear-

your opinion

means little,

your attention

does much.

Swears

There are no short cuts in comedy, no real rules or guarantees, but over the past couple years I've noticed a couple things that always seem to make people laugh. A couple buttons that seem to always burp out chuckles when pressed. One of those is curse words. Not using them but not using them.

When your a kid and you first discover curse words there's typically a brief(or extended depending) period of fixation when you use them all the time to the point where they become almost meaningless. There's a similar phase in improv not prompted by discovery I don't think but by panic and a misguided idea that cursing a lot on stage is funny and/or edgy. The reality is its tiresome unless used judiciously. Even then expletives aren't terribly effective comedy wise past a certain adolescent age or in rare perfectly timed circumstances.

The trick, that works an astonishing amount of the time, is not to say the curse word but use the letter(s) instead. "What the F do you think you're doing!?!?" "This is a bunch of S!" You get the idea. Typically most effective when playing an adolescent or a parent. Tonight during the Schwa show Jeannie and I were in a father-son scene and I kept using "GD" instead of "God Damn" and people responded. It's a weird little thing, almost feels like a cheat sometimes. But there's something about not saying it, something that's almost quaint about it, antiquated almost, kind of absurd, which tickles a lot of folks funny bone.

I kind of recognized the move watching Old School in college. At one point Vince Vaughn, the dad character, has his baby and Luke Wilson is cursing a bunch and Vaughn explodes "I don't know why you have to do it! With the F-in'!" And I thought it was so funny, and the frat guys on my floor thought it was so funny and quoted it all the time. The idea percolated until a couple years ago when it bubbled up during a scene where I used "F" a bunch instead of fuck and the audience really got a kick out of it.

I hope its not a crutch I rely on, I don't think I do it that often, but I definitely do it if the opportunity/circumstance presents itself. It's fun to do, the move provides kind of a short-hand to character, and people like it so, why not?

'The Disaster Artist' A Review

The Disaster Artist is a comedy based on the making of 'best worst movie' The Room. The film follows Greg(Dave Franco) an aspiring actor in San Francisco as he meets and befriends an odd and intense mysterious older(?) man Tommy Wiseau(James Franco, also director). The two move to Los Angeles and live off of Tommy's seemingly boundless(and nebulous) wealth as they attempt(and fail) to become working actors. After a disheartening two years Greg inspires Tommy to conceive and make his own movie.

Franco(James) gives his best performance since 2012's Spring Breakers, imbuing the character with a soulfulness, vulnerability, and dimension the real life Wiseau seemingly doesn't posses. Franco is totally immersed and plays it from the heart as well as being able to achieve a substantial amount of humor. Franco(Dave) is serviceable as the more milquetoast Greg. He brings his normal psuedo-adolesecent charm but doesn't do much beyond what he does in every film, play some version of himself(however likable). The rest of the cast is stacked with cameos and supporting turns by famous folks who all show up, are funny, and have fun. But the only real acting is done by Franco(James) and its impressive.

Visually the film is functional, almost utilitarian, which is fine because the film revolves around the comedy and Franco(James)'s performance. However one would hope for a bit more artistry and/or attention to framing given this isn't Franco's 13th directing venture(although you could argue this is the first legitimate project, certainly the only one so far with a substantial release). The score practical with some fun period songs but mostly all the production elements only serve to bolster the characters and the comedy.

Certainly more enjoyable than the unintentionally deplorable, boring, incoherent movie on which it's based, the film celebrates and realizes the Hollywood dream despite a mountain of eccentricities and no talent to speak of.

See It.