The Lottery Rose

I encountered this rose bush walking home from a movie and it reminded me of a book our teacher read to us in 4th grade- The Lottery Rose. It's about a boy with an alcoholic mother and an abusive father figure. The boy is a loner and trouble maker the only interest he has is in flowers. He wins a rose bush from the local grocery store and comes home and is beaten by his mother's boyfriend. After which he's taken away from his mother, put into a foster home, and enrolled in a all boys boarding school the only thing he brings with him is his rose bush. The rose bush is a symbol of hope not only for his life but also his ability to open up with others.

The book is about growing up and what I remember most is identifying with the boy's solitude. His loneliness.  This feeling of being alone and unknowable and the hope that given time, given opportunity, there's a chance at friendship and love. Thinking back on it the book seems a bit heavy, a bit complicated for 9 year olds. But I remember loving it, I remember, maybe for the first time, having that feeling of hearing part of my story. Not that I had a bad childhood because I didn't, I don't even think I struggled overmuch but as far back as I can remember I've been a loner and especially when I was younger I found it very hard to engage with others. Connecting was difficult. My default was silence or retreat. That's not much of a problem any more but I still like to be alone which can be lonely.

I think I fell in love with flowers because of this book. Flowers fill me with hope.