A Moment Of Grace

The Wells Street Bridge is under construction this week and as a result the red line has a lot more traffic. Last night I was waiting at the Monroe stop for about half an hour in a crowd of people.

I was standing for a good portion of that time next to a young woman reading. We didn't talk and I didn't think much of it. As time passed train after train came thinning the crowd gradually. When I was close to the edge of the platform a train came and I thought I was going to get a spot but I didn't, I was edged out.

The young woman who had been standing next to me did get on and was close to the door. Looking into the train we caught each others gaze. And for a time neither of us looked away. Her eyes were blue green with a lot of flecks in them like the facets of a gem. I didn't want her to think I was some creeper staring at her so I looked down the platform for a moment then looked back. She was still looking at me. As the train binged and the doors closed she mouthed "I'm sorry" and gave me a conciliatory grin. I half smiled and shrugged as if to say "no worries" and the train pulled away.

In and of itself it was relatively meaningless but it was one of those moments that made you feel like people were nice: that even in a crowded, sweaty, irritating circumstance people can be compassionate.

I will probably never see her again but I'm grateful for her and people like her. Any resentment I had because of my work day or the CTA delay was washed away with a small act of kindness.

Lunch Bunch

Katie was in town from LA and met Ryan and I for lunch. We had a very good albeit brief catch up session. It's great to have friends that move away and when they come back it's like they never left. There's no weirdness you just pick up where you left off, in my experience that's the exception not the rule. We gossiped, talked some shop, and had some excellent falafel.

It's nice to break up the work day with friends, something I never really took the time or interest in before. No matter how bad or boring your day is, an hour of companionship can turn it around.

Me: So hows LA?
Katie: Every idiot is writing a screenplay. If I hear one more bro tell me he's writing Hangover 4 for National Lampoon I'm going to kill myself!

Graffiti 98

Every once in a while we all put on the bear suit.

'To The Wonder' & 'Oblivion' Reviews

To The Wonder is an abstract romantic drama from Terrence Malick. It follows a man falling in and out of love although the man is as much scenery as Paris or rural Oklahoma are in the film. Most of the shots encompass only his torso and focus on the woman. The film has hardly any dialogue, long protracted beautiful sweeping shots, heavily underscored scenes that focus on two people interacting physically not verbally. To The Wonder feels more like a dream or a dance than a movie. The men and woman in the film aren't actors, there's no acting to speak of in the film, they are performance artists.

The film is certainly challenging. There is no narrative to speak of and aims to effect you emotionally rather than mentally. You can infer a lot of things from the film and invent your own story as to what is happening. Depending on your outlook that could be frustrating or invigorating.

The only dialogue you hear clearly is breathy repetitious narration. This can be taxing but if you go into the movie with the right mind set and some patience it can be an extremely rewarding experience.

At the end of the the day To The Wonder is about love, its many facets, and its indescribable nature.

If you are in love, looking for love, or heart broken this film will bring you some clarity and maybe some peace.

See It.

Oblivion is the first major SciFi release of the year. It takes place on Earth 60 years after a war humans fought against alien invaders left the planet a nuclear wasteland.

The film looks beautiful and the story is passably entertaining but it doesn't scratch the surface of its potential. Instead of coming up with an original idea the film recycles ideas from other scifi films like The Matrix, Moon, WALL-E and Independence Day to name a few. The "twists" in the plot are telegraphed to such a degree that when the surprises are finally revealed there's no effect. The audience figured it out twenty minutes before the characters did.

I was entertained but I wasn't excited. Another mediocre, run-of-the-mill, scifi flick. All gums, no teeth.

Rent It.

Sun Through Tracks

When I was a boy
the city loomed
and swallowed me
As a man
it cradles
nutures
and supports me.

When I was a boy
I hated the city
fought against it
As a man
it's a part of me
a silent conspiraor
comforting and wise.

Be Like Water

I first heard this idea years ago from the biopic Dragon: A Bruce Lee Story. I think it extends much further than martial arts to performing, interpersonal communication, work, on and on. Strength and purpose is found in flexibility not rigidity. Being confident and comfortable, knowing yourself and expressing yourself, not in despite of other people or things but in harmony with those things external. Lee goes on to say something like: water is the strongest thing in the world, you can't cut it or break it, but water can wear down rock, running water never grows stale so you got to just keep on flowing. He talks about being so aware that you can always act in an honest manner, staying in ones truth.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I use to be very angry and reactionary. I'm getting better at reacting after a pause and only saying those things that are constructive while still expressing my wants and needs. There is a lot of unnecessary conflict and I'm trying to let those things that don't matter or which I have no control simply flow through and around me.

"It is like a finger pointing a way to the moon, don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory." -Bruce Lee

There's a great remix with parts of this interview here.

Bubble Boys: Carnival

Episode 7 is full of manic-energy and owes the tiniest bit of inspiration to the HBO show Carnivale. Having Danny and Craig in the studio together, two of the highest energy people I know, was quite a treat and a little bit of a trial. There was a lot of yelling and some pretty strange stuff. It was a real pleasure having Craig on the show because he's been my mentor and friend for a long time now. It gave me a little extra juice. There are some great lines in here and some really weird situations. Three more till the end of season 1!


The Bubble Boys hawk their gum on a carnival midway and witness the tribulations of a clown.

Featuring:
Steve Nelson as Sven Ingaborg
Andrew Tisher as Henry Mossmouth
Danny Groh as Charlie The Clown and Townspeople
and Craig Uhlir as Mr. Enus and Townspeople

Detour

Paths, goals, and plans only amount to so much.
There's only one moment and it is now.
The best intentions can be thwarted easily.
By nature, others, or oneself.
Raging against change only results in stagnation.
Great discoveries can be found in diversion.
It's not what we want, it's how we deal with what's before us.

When you are confronted with a broken bridge, cut your own path.

A Fable About Loss

There once was an eagle and a fox who fell in love.
In the beginning they spent countless hours together.
The fox would run and trot and leap.
The eagle would swoop and dive and glide.
They spent time in the forest where the fox lived.
They spent time on the mountain where the eagle lived.
And they were happy.
For a time.
One day the fox asked the eagle to stay in the forest.
The fox wanted cubs and a den to warm.
The eagle tried for a time.
But missed the mountain air.
And the tops of trees.
And the caress of the wind.
And the kiss of the sun.
And the shade of the cliffs.
And the open expanse of the bright blue sky.
The sky most of all.
Time passed.
One day the call of the sky became too great.
And the eagle flew off never to return.

Street Talk 13

(outside 7 Eleven finishing a cigarette)

Guy: Hey! Hey! Big man!
Me: Hey.
Guy: Hey, hey, can you get me a beer man.
Me: No.
Guy: Man, man! I just got thrown out for no reason! I got money just get me a beer.
Me: I'm not going to buy beer.
Guy: OK. Can I get a cigarette?
Me: Sure.
(I give him a cigarette, we smoke together)
Guy: They just through me out man. I was just showing I wasn't racist. Went into the bathroom at this place over there and when I came out this white guy put me in a headlock. And we was about to go. And then bunch of people broke us up. And I knew, it wasn't worth it, I don't hate white people. And I could have took him down.
Me: I'm sure.
Guy: Black people hit hard man. White people hit hard too but black people we got that force. You know, all that force of all that. You know what I mean?
Me: I do.
Guy: Why can't we get along? I don't want to hate white people but this guy just put me in a headlock for no reason. What is that? It should just be the smallest thing now. It should be gone. Why it still here?
Me: I don't know man.
Guy: People got to let out that hate. Let it out. It's poison.
Me: Yeah. We're all still fighting it.
Guy: I walked away. It wasn't worth it. But I told him. I told him. "I'll get you when you're alone." That's when I get 'em. It's his fault: right or wrong?
Me: Right. He put hands on you first, that's not right.
Guy: Why can't we just see each other as people. And give when people need it. Why it have to be all this...all this...(deep sigh)...you know. You an all right white guy.
Me: Thanks man. (pause, I finish my cigarette) I gotta get going man, it was nice talking to you.
Guy: Have a good night big man.
Me: You too.
Guy: (grins) I'll be watchin'.
Me: I'll be watching you man.
Guy: (cackles)

Graffiti 97

El Nieto(which means grandson) seems to be the tag of a guy either in Norway, Puerto Rico, or Venezuela from my searches. I'm presuming its a self portrait. I don't really know what to make of it although I find it interesting. Self destructive, challenging, inquisitive.

"There's something dreadfully decisive about a beheading." -Anne Smedley

"The lightening flashes through my skull; mine eyes ache and ache; my whole beaten brain seems as beheaded, and rolling on some stunning ground." -Herman Melville

'42' & 'Trance' Reviews

42 is a biopic of hall of fame baseball player Jackie Robinson who broke the color line. The subject matter of course is powerful and the movie tries hard, almost succeeds, but ultimately falls short on delivering on the legend. The dialogue and the performances run hot and cold. At times ranging from moving to over-the-top absurd to flat from scene to scene.

Harrison Ford as Ricky gives one of the most transformative performances in his career, for once not simply playing Harrison Ford. Unfortunately his character work, at times, becomes exaggerated to cartoon level but for the most part he is dynamic and convincing. Chadwick Boseman puts in a similar performances as Robinson. Most times playing the stoic, tortured hero to perfection but occasionally slipping into wooden delivery that is rendered totally flat on screen. Boseman a relative unknown was also in the underrated series Persons Unknown(on Netflix streaming).

These lapses in the movie, for it is mostly comprised of baseball scenes and scenes with Ford and Boseman, can also be the fault of the script. It relies at times on dialogue so cliche that no actor could make it believable. Similar to another biopic Lincoln there are slow motion scenes and scenes with powerful scoring that detract from the over all feel. We as an audience know Robinson is important, if we didn't we certainly realize it during the course of the movie, we do not need slow motion and high volume sentimental scoring to indicate that.

Good, could have been great.

Rent It.

Trance is a crime thriller about a man who assists on stealing a valuable painting but is hit on the head so forgets where he stashed it. The bad guys call in a hypnotist to assist in recovering the lost memories and therefore the painting.

I've only walked out of two movies in my life that I can remember: The Invisible and Cosmopolis, Trance makes three. All the characters are unlikable and illogical, the acting is transparent, and the script attempts to be so "complex" and "layered" that it becomes lost in its own structure. It seems like someone came up with the idea for the movie, wrote down the first thing they could think of, and started filming the next day.

There is nothing interesting or redeeming about the film. Complicated camera shots, effects, and surrealist settings mean nothing if there is no story to back them up. Granted I didn't watch the film to its completion but there was nothing in the first hour and fifteen minutes of the film that made me believe it could be salvaged.

Don't See It.

A Disturbing Dream 9

I'm running down a dark cavernous tunnel. It's cold. I'm chasing Punam. She's a ways ahead of me but I can just barely see her in the gloom. She's running from something. It could be me or something behind me which I haven't seen. I don't know. I don't think she knows I'm behind her.

The chase goes on for what seems like a long long time. I try to increase my speed but when I do she seems to match it. The tunnel never turns but seems to get wider then narrow then wide again. Eventually I look down and, not looking at her, charge ahead. And I catch up to her. I reach out my hand to stop her.

And turn her around.

It's not her its someone else.

A stranger.

The woman throws her arms around me and starts kissing my neck.

I'm dumbfounded.

A cold wind pushes on my back and makes me sway.

I awoke.

Bubble Boys: The Minor League

A new episode and a poster from my beloved Beanpole. Tisher and I wanted to do an episode with Jamison and Joey and figured, for them, there wasn't a better concept than their shared obsession: baseball. There's a ton of goofball names and old timey baseball terms in this one.


Sven and Henry become good luck charms for a baseball team's manager but run afoul of the star players.

Featuring:
Steve Nelson as Sven Ingaborg
Andrew Tisher as Henry Mossmouth and Skip
Joey Romaine as Miller Kraft and Color Commentator
and Jamison Webb as Lou "Turkey" Wagner and Play-By-Play Announcer

Birthday Lunch

Ryan turned 33 today and we went to the place we always go to Oasis Cafe. Their chicken shawarma is amazing. Ryan and Laura went there with me on my birthday last year so I felt like there was a nice symmetry to it. Ryan has been such a great and supportive friend to me it was nice to spend a little time with him on his special day. I work only a couple blocks away from his office so I hope this will be the first of many many lunches.

Me: The biggest thing for me is getting use to getting up at 7. It's the worst.
Ryan: Oh yeah. I use to get up only like 30 minutes before I leave.
Me: (calculating) I get up...I...that's what I'm doing now basically. Get up at 7 out the door at 7:40. And I'm getting to bed late, I feel like a zombie the first hour or so.
Ryan: I have to get up at like 615.
Me: Ick.
Ryan: But it wouldn't be so bad if I woke up to an alarm, most of the time Riley comes in before it goes off. She came into our bedroom at 5:50 the other day. It's not that much time but it feels enormous.
Me: What does she say, when she wakes you up?
Ryan: It's not dark anymore!

One Person Scene

Another scene from the show with Lutz last week. Recently I've been intrigued by one person scenes in shows. The potential of one person in a group popping out and creating something or starting to create something by themselves has got me really juiced. I set up Craig to do a solo scene about a minute into this scene. I've done it half a dozen times or so in the past month and the results are always interesting and fun.

Speed

One of the Scotts and I were talking tonight before U Who. He was saying he was feeling a little wonky from his weekend of improv shows. Not that the shows weren't funny, that the audience didn't enjoy them, or they weren't decent shows in and of themselves but that he felt like they didn't have a message, a theme, or a statement. There was no challenge in them, they weren't difficult to do.

We both agreed that the U Who shows are challenging and fulfilling, sometimes significantly more so than some of the other stuff we're doing, because of the speed at which we play. The four of us all have a very aggressive style as far as pacing and variance/energy in character. It lends it self to shows, I think, that you get caught up in and swept along with. At a certain point the momentum of the show carries us along and there's little thought to what scene will come next or what scene went before it. It's a challenge every week, not only to play with such a high energy talented group of guys but to always try to push the boundary: how fast can we go, how many characters can we play, how many people can we fit on stage. More, more, more, faster, faster, faster. It's like continuously adding balls while juggling, how many can we keep going in the air until they become too many to handle? We never know.

We don't go after theme or try to have a message. We try to go as fast as we can with as much reckless-abandon as we can.

I once was skiing down a mountain and realized I had forgotten how to stop or turn. I picked up speed quickly and rocketed down the slope. There were people in my way and many people at the bottom of the run. Part of me was afraid. Afraid how I would stop, afraid of the possible collision. But the other part of me, the other part of me just embraced the thrill.

And let gravity do its work.

The Grind

My first week back to work is complete and it's an odd feeling. The past 8 months I've gotten rest and sometimes too much rest. I've had time enough to get things done but in that time got little done. Now, one week in, I feel energized. Simply getting up early, going to bed early, having my sleep regulated and at times shortened has made me feel more alert, more awake, more present.

I've heard of writers going off to isolated cabins to spend months writing. But always it seems they come back to the world. They come back because they need inspiration. They need fuel for the stories they need to tell. They go off to limit distractions, to focus, to wrestle their ideas out on paper. But after the idea has been expunged, laid out, exorcised, its time to go out and find another one.

In the past 8 months I put up a sketch show, wrote and recorded a podcast, and began writing another show. But now its time to reenter the work-a-day world: to ride the train, to make some money, to survive the grind. To be inspired. Now the time I have is precious and I am doing more in it. I think it will be sometime before I have a job that I enjoy. Until then I use it to pay bills and get out into the world. To meet new people, handle new situations, discover new stories to tell.

Darkness

I miss the dark. Chicago is a great place to live and I love it. But there are things I miss. Light pollution makes every night bright. There are street lamps on almost every street. There are no shadows, no secret places, nothing left to the imagination. Of course it needs to be light at night to keep people safe. Even so something is lost in big cities, a certain mystery, a connection to our past.

There are a lot of parks in Rockford where I'm from. One of my favorite things was to go out and hike at night. It wasn't pitch black but dark. My friends and I would take hikes using our night and peripheral vision to find our way. There was always a small bit of fear which in a way was thrilling. The fear was a childhood fear of the dark and as an adult feeling that fear is almost nostalgic. There's something fulfilling about going out and feeling an old fear, no matter how old, and overcoming it.

I worked at a camp in Rockford for seven years. Once a summer the staff would spend the night out in the park. Every time we did I would lead a night hike with no torches or flashlights. There's something comforting and evocative of the past about being swallowed up by the dark, surrounded by trees, and knowing which way to go. Or maybe not caring.

The most surprising things can be found in the dark.

Graffiti 96

Kill Transit Not People. I'm assuming that this is some commentary on pollution. I think it'd be more effective if there was a bike or car pictured. The breathing mask looks more like Bane's mask in Dark Night Rises more than anything else. If it's suppose to be a riff on the instructional pamphlets in airplanes I don't think it's a success. But I guess I agree. Drive less, bike more, take public transit more.

But I think there is something sinister about this. I don't know why exactly but "killing transit" seems to intend to solicit some kind of violent action. Like blow up buses and trains just make sure there's no people on them. Like it's instructions for terrorists. The breathing mask looks like it could be for poison gas.

Maybe it's a subliminal message. A secret code. A call to action to some unknown party.

Bubble Boys: Moonshiners

Episode 5 and we're half way through the season! We recorded this episode in almost one continuous take sitting on the floor in a circle in Tim's studio telling stories, shooting the shit, and making each other laugh. It reminded me a lot of summer camp and bonfires and starry nights. I suggest listening to this episode shortly before you go to bed or walking outside at night. I'm proud of all the episodes we've put out but I think this one is something special.


Sven and Henry sit around the campfire and spin yarns with some unexpected friends. Join them won't you?

Featuring:
Steve Nelson as Sven Ingaborg
Andrew Tisher as Henry Mossmouth
Bill Boehler as Jackknife
Mike Brunlieb as Turtleneck
and Scott Nelson as River Drew
With excerpts from original songs "Two Thieves" and "Sea"

'The Host' & 'Gimme The Loot' Reviews

The Host is a scifi romance based on the book of the same name by Stephanie Meyer. The movie is incredibly convoluted in structure and all in all an unsatisfying narrative. It borrows much from Invasion of the Body Snatchers for premise and duplicates almost exactly the love triangle from the Twilight Series.

It's the future and small alien bug creatures made of light have possessed most humans on earth and created a utopia where everyone is nice to each other and pollution has been eradicated. One alien called Wanderer has invaded the heroine Melanie. Wanderer with Melanie still alive in her head flees to the last human stronghold in a cliff dwelling. Wanderer falls in love with one of the human survivors and he with her but tensions mount because Melanie(trapped in Wanderer's head) is still in love with her former flame. Drama ensues.

The most distracting thing about the movie isn't the overly dramatic dialogue, the non-existent chemistry, or the fact that nothing actually happens, it's the frequent scenes where Saoirse Ronan plays Wanderer in Melanie's body talking audibly to the voice over of Melanie in her head. Ludicrous.

Don't See It.

Gimme The Loot is a day-in-the-life comedy about two teen graffiti artists from the Bronx. The movie begins as if it will be about our two heroes 'bombing' part of Mets Stadium but quickly reveals itself as a reflection of a day or two in their friendship.

The film portrays the realistic lives of these two teens, with hopes and dreams, artistic aspirations, romantic struggles, and occasional illegal activity. There's a wonderful sense of authenticity about it however the movie isn't actually about anything. The story doesn't move, the characters don't change, they seemingly accomplish nothing. We simply see an unfiltered glimpse of who they are, which is almost enough.

Ty Hickson as Malcom and Tashiana Washington put out great performances especially as the movie goes forward. I would guess the movie was shot chronologically because it's clear Hickson and Washington get more and more comfortable in their characters and on screen as the movie progresses. They start off over the top and kind of false but engage you as the movie rolls forward.

An interesting film from first time actors and director. Not quite there but almost. I'm very interested to see what this group of people do next.

Rent It.

Lutz

John Lutz was in town for CIF and played with Two Scotts, Two Nelsons and a Uhlir. He was on Valhalla with Craig back in the day as well as the famed 4 Square. He's a Chicago improv celebrity, after coming up here he wrote for SNL and was a regular on 30 Rock. The Scotts and I were pretty nervous but once the show got rolling we all had a blast.

Diner Mandala 2

Don't be a drone

Put down your phone

You're not a clone

Change your tone

No need to groan

Get in the zone

You're not alone

When you're on your own.

Rick Tonight!

Rick took the stage for the last time tonight after performing for two and a half years. We had a great run with many memorable shows. Recently we'd been having some numbers problems. People advancing in their careers, people having kids, and people getting married. It felt like the team had run its course, the majority of the team was moving onward in their personal and professional lives. It was a good time to end, closing the chapter on Rick with a great track record.

I love all the members of Rick, past and present. I learned so much from everyone, I was supported by everyone, I was elevated and propelled by everyone. I took more risks, played more characters, played faster and with more abandon because of Rick. There are so many great shows and great moments that I will remember forever. Moments that a unique group of incredibly talented people cultivated in a spontaneous flash of inspiration. I've documented many of them in this blog which you can browse by clicking the tag Rick at the bottom of this post.

I became a better performer because of the time I spent with the members of Rick on stage.

I became a better person because of the friendship and support I received from the members of Rick off stage.

I love you Rick. I always will.

Ebert

Roger Ebert passed away yesterday only a day after he announced a "leave of presence". It's a sad time for writers and film lovers everywhere.

My dad loved and lauded Ebert ever since I can remember. One of my first memories about movies is my father saying, which he has repeated countless times since, "Well, Ebert gave it..." I've nurtured a love for movies since an early age and at age fourteen started watching at least a movie a week in the theater. Starting at 14, when I had the patience to read a newspaper, I began reading Ebert's reviews. Using his writing as a signpost and sounding board for movies I liked, disliked, and wanted to see. It become much easier when all his reviews became available online and I could go back and read his reviews of older movies I loved and loathed.

Ebert most importantly loved movies, was passionate about them. Articulated why the highs were high and why the lows were low. I always felt an affinity for him, I could hear his voice in my head while reading, he elucidated points I could only vaguely grasp. He was also a fellow recovering alcoholic, which I only found out recently, he blogged about AA in as articulate and straightforward a manner as all his reviews(Ebert on AA). I didn't always agree with his assessments. His 2012 review of Flight in particular comes to mind. A movie I hated which he gave 4 stars to and said "It is nearly flawless." but I can sympathize with wanting a movie to be good when the main character is in recovery.

What I liked most was reading his reviews of a film I didn't like which other people did or a film I did like which other people didn't and him being able to articulate what was wrong or right. I didn't care for The Master when most people did. Ebert gave it 2 1/2 stars and said:

"The Master" is fabulously well-acted and crafted, but when I reach for it, my hand closes on air. It has rich material and isn't clear what it thinks about it. It has two performances of Oscar caliber, but do they connect? It shows invention and curiosity. It is often spellbinding. But what does it intend to communicate?

Another film of 2012 which I loved which was widely panned Ebert gave 4 stars and said:

"End of Watch" is one of the best police movies in recent years, a virtuoso fusion of performances and often startling action...After too many police movies about officers who essentially use their badges as licenses to run wild, it's inspiring to realize that these men take their mission — to serve and protect — with such seriousness they're willing to risk their lives.

Ebert inspired me to start writing movie reviews and to date I've written around 150. He's inspired and cultivated a host of film makers, film lovers, and film critics. His presence and influence will echo for decades.

"Kindness covers all of my political beliefs. No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try." -Roger Ebert

Graffiti 95

There was a time this image would have resonated with me. Catapulting forward towards some questionable goal, thoughtless of the consequences, driven by selfish desires, aggressively pursuing with teeth, nail and temper.

"The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." -C.S. Lewis

"America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still." -e.e.cummings

"A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor." -Aldous Huxley

Bubble Boys: Chain Gang

Episode 4 with Blair Beeken takes a little inspiration from Cool Hand Luke and David Lynch. There's some weird stuff in this one: infantalism, filicide and more.


The Bubble Boys are put to work on a chain gang and remind their boss about the importance of family.

Featuring:
Steve Nelson as Sven Ingaborg and 193568
Andrew Tisher as Henry Mossmouth and 193567
and Blair Beeken as Boss Bev

Winds Of Change

I woke up today and had a job. It's a weird feeling considering I've been unemployed for the past eight months. It's a great relief. And for the first and probably the only time in my life an office job seems like a new adventure. Unknown and exciting.

Since the last time I was in an office and had a job my life has been transformed. My perceptions, mood, and the way I communicate have changed and continue to evolve. I don't think I will be any more interested in relatively tedious office work but I will look on it with fresh eyes. I don't anticipate being phased by things as much, I don't anticipate getting caught up in the minutia of things, I feel I've cultivated an increasing ability to let things that don't matter slide. Like rain off a slicker.

I'm excited to make some money. I'm excited to get my days going earlier and to do more in them. I'm excited to be part of the grind again and to put myself to the test.

I'm not exited to work in customer service for a highly specialized insurance firm but I am excited to return to the shifting-churning-pulsing human machine that makes Chicago purr. For the first time I'm in a place where I can look on the opportunity with cheerful anticipation rather than cynicism and dread.

The only constant in life is change. More often than not for the better.

The echo of Echo

Echo the team I coach at iO had their last show tonight. They are the first team I was appointed to coach by iO and we've been together since they graduated classes around this time last year. Almost a year exactly, not a bad shelf life for a harold team.

They taught me a lot and I hope I taught them as much. It's been a fulfilling, at times pleasantly frustrating, experience. As a coach you walk a fine line between friend, peer, and authority figure. There were times when I knew what I wanted to communicate but couldn't articulate my point, times where I knew what I wanted them to do but couldn't elicit it. I learned how to coach a team and they learned how to be coached. We had some interesting times not least of which was a steady change in roster.

Looking back, I break down the evolution of the team in three acts. Act One: a beginning. Getting to know each other, getting to know the harold, feeling things out, and dealing with one of the original members who was relatively unstable who was subsequently removed. Act Two: a transition period. We got Trevor, Ariel went on a boat, Blair quit the team, and Allison joined it. Act Three: progress. The last six months of the team we really gelled and put up some great shows and consistently had great rehearsals.

I'm so grateful to have been Echo's coach. To have been witness to and partial catalyst of their creative growth as a team and as individuals. Allison, Ariel, Blair, Chris, Chris, Claire, Dave, Mike, Molly, Paul, and Trevor will always have a special place in my heart, they gave me an experience I'll never forget.

This is good luck but not goodbye.