Two Guys Yelling 3

Yesterday Ted got added to Rick and he rehearsed with us for the first time. Tonight Ted and I rehearsed our sketch show with Jamison, did the Rick show, and rehearsed some more. Ted is a great audition to the team and we had a fun runner of football players with ridiculous names starting with Ted's Bruiser Magerk. The show overall was good not great but whenever a new member is added there is a little adjustment time.

The running order for our sketch show is pretty much set. We just have a couple transitions, the opener and closer to polish up before it's ready. I love working with Ted and Jamison. Ted always challenges me and furthers my ideas. Jamison has been great about distilling and clarifying our theme as well as structuring scenes. It's really coming together and I'm very proud of it.

A Year Of Saturdays Thursday 1030pm, iO September 6th through October 11th.

Glory Is Fleeting

Recently I've had a lot of good days. Mostly great days in fact. I know that it won't last. A never ending streak of good, fun, productive days. I know that a bad day will be coming possibly with events big and overwhelming. But that's ok. I can handle it now. One day is manageable whatever is happening in it. One day can hold irritation or problems but it also holds moments of beauty, however fleeting. Yesterday I had lunch with Natalie and coffee with Julia. I got to see Molly and Adam perform and give Punam a long hug. Today I went to see 'Lawless' and a great meeting where I saw an unexpected friend.

Life is stressful. Life is unpredictable. Most things you can't prepare for, you can simply handle them as best you can when they come up. And never forget to take pleasure in the small things. A meeting with a friend, a nice dessert, a good book, a flower. No matter how bad things get,

You can always find something good.

'Cosmopolis' A Review

'Cosmopolis' is a total shit show. There is no acting, plot, or scenery to speak of. Almost the entire film takes place in a limo. The dialogue is nonsensical. I didn't care about the story, I didn't care about the people, and from what I could gather as to what was suppose to be going on I didn't care about. This was the worst film I've seen in ages. What's even worse than the film itself is probably how 'complex' and 'interesting' Robert Pattinson thinks it is. You did it buddy.

Don't See It.

Pronunciation Of Car Manufacturers

From the Schwa show Sunday. Craig tries to help me get my words right.

Gratitude 2

I am grateful for long hugs,
whispered secrets,
and unexpected smiles.

Goodbye Katie

Last night was Katie's last Rick Show. She left for LA today. I had seen her around but never really talked to her until we got on Rick together about two years ago. Since then she's been a wonderful teammate: full of energy and surprises as well as a large variety of characters. Whenever we did scenes together I knew I would have fun and most of the time I knew what she was going for or she knew what I was going for. I don't think we ever really struggled with finding a scene. We just knew and that's rare. This is our scene from her last show.

Katie also became a great friend. Always outgoing and positive and up for hanging out, talking shit, or having a heart to heart. I'll miss her very much. Both on the team and as a friend. But I know she'll do great out in LA. My first friend who has moved out there I have a lot of hope and confidence in. She'll be back periodically to visit and to play with Rick so its not good bye.

Just good bye for now.

Panang Curry: Thai Aroma 2

Punam and I went to Thai Aroma before we went to Second City a couple days ago. It has the best Panang I've had so far in my search. I talked it up a lot to Punam who had never had it. They had a special on which included little wedges of flat bread which were delicious. The chicken was delicious, the curry was spicy but not overpowering, and the consistency was perfect. Thick but not paste thick. I enjoyed it thoroughly although the special didn't come with the promised broccoli. Having it again I was worried Punam wouldn't agree with my assessment.

Me: What do you think?
Punam: It's delicious. It's definitely one of the best ones we've had.
Me: Good. I was worried I had talked it up too much.
Punam: Even if you hadn't. This is the first real food I've had in a week. It's wonderful!

Graffiti 71

I don't understand this. Are we saying shoot drugs as in take them or shoot them as in bang bang which the bulls eye kind of implies. I don't know. It strikes me as kind of juvenile and stupid if its advocating use. But maybe not, I'm intrigued. I feel like there's some message I'm not getting. Like keep your eye on them, shoot them down. I thought maybe it was a band name but google searching "Shoot Drugs" comes up with too much stuff to sift through. I just don't know. I'll take it as a warning and a message of hope.

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.” -Edgar Allen Poe

"Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction" -William S. Burroughs

Great News!

 Two Guys Yelling present A Year Of Saturdays got a run! Ted and I's sketch show which we conceived in January and wrote April through June got a slot at iO. Jamison will direct! We don't have a lot of prep time because our opening is September 6th but I'm so excited! It feels so good to have a passion project come fruition. I get to work with two guys I love and respect and who have similar ideas about comedy as me. We get to do what we want how we want to do it.

After Ted and I's HouseCo experience we really wanted to work together on something that was entirely ours without any restrictions from an institution. And iO has given us that opportunity, just another reason why I love iO. I think some people get jaded about the place but it has been nothing but nurturing and open for me.

Punam and I saw the Second City Mainstage this week and it was underwhelming. But it also got me really juiced up about this show. Seeing a show that is ok but which panders for laughs at points makes it clear to me what I want to do, what message I want to send, what I want to do differently.

Our goal is to put up something unique. Come see if we succeed.

The Unknown

I use to be really afraid of new things and situations. It was difficult to go to places I had never been before. Meet new people. Ask for help or directions. I liked things that were known. That way I couldn't be surprised, taken out of my element, made to feel uncomfortable. Recently I've turned a corner. I don't feel that way anymore because I discovered, you never know. You never know what the unknown will bring. Most of the time its good or interesting or helpful or not big deal or easy or, worst case scenario, boring.

The past couple weeks I've challenged myself to go to new places meet new people. And I discovered that once I started doing it, it became very easy. Most people are helpful, you don't know where you are going ask. Most people are welcoming, you don't know people introduce yourself. I figured out that all the stress and anxiety I associated with that stuff was coming from me not from the situation. And ultimately it was a waste of my energy. There was no reason to be stressed. There was no reason to be anxious. For the most part life takes care of itself. Do what you do. Make a plan and follow it and you'd be surprised what falls into place.

Today I went to a meeting I had never gone to before and it was kind of hard to find. At the very back of some building out of the way. I found it eventually and was welcomed by a lot of people and it was great. A month ago I would have freaked out not knowing where I was going. Now it's easy. In the grand scheme of things it's nothing to be upset about. Things work out. Later I went to catch some random shows, met an acquaintance and had a great conversation. We had some real talk and found out we had a lot more in common than I would have thought. You never know what can happen when you show up. And that's a good thing.

Suit up and show up.

'The Bourne Legacy' A Review

"The Bourne Legacy" is a mediocre continuation of the series. The first half of the film is all set up with very little action. In this film they introduce pills that the people in the program need to take to stay physically and mentally superior. It over complicates the plot and is so convoluted it doesn't make much sense. There's a scene at the beginning which follows Jeremy Renner as he traverses the Alaskan wild but compared to the non-stop action of the first Bourne trilogy it seems tame. About an hour in to the two hour plus movie the government decommissions the program and starts killing it's assassins. Jeremy Renner is out of meds and needs to find one of the doctors to get more. The rest of the film is a simple chase but not as involved, complex, or engaging as the chases scenes in the previous films.

There are only two fight scenes in the film both of which leave something to be desired because the way they are choreographed doesn't portray Renner as being nearly as bad-ass as Damon was. Renner does a good turn as the hero. He's engaging and charismatic but the story leaves a lot to be desired.

Rent It.

Sunflower 2

some pedals close when the night brings cold
some shine on till the coming of the dawn
some shine all day come what may
then warmth and color recede
and the leaves turn brown
and each pedal falls
slowly to the
ground.

Steve's Guide To Auditions

I helped out with harold auditions today. It was interesting, I didn't judge the folks auditioning I just warmed them up, gave them a little pep talk, and then sent them in. Some thoughts.

1. Confidence. Every audition you need to confident. You need to be confident in who you are and what you do. You own the space, you own the room. If you are confident you won't be hamstrung by any self-doubt or indecision. You should never have the thought "Is this good?" "Am I doing this right?" Do what you want to do, what you think is right. If they like you, they like you, if they don't, they don't. That's not under your control. But don't get over-confident. You don't want to come across as a entitled dick.

2. Comfort. Be comfortable in your cloths, be comfortable in the space, be comfortable with your fellow auditioners, be comfortable with the outcome whatever it may be. Worrying about things never changes anything.

3. Positivity. Be positive! To the people you are auditioning with and the people interacting with you at the audition. Positivity breeds more positivity. If you are nice and welcoming, people will also be nice and welcoming. You go into a situation with a positive attitude you are much more probable to get positive results. You go in with an open mind you never no what can happen. You go in with a chip on your shoulder or a self defeatist attitude, you've already failed.

4. Don't Care. Putting to much importance on getting the audition is going to detract from what you can do in the audition. You'll be in your head, second guess yourself, be nervous, all of which will not let you perform up to your potential. Act like you already got the audition or banish the desire of getting from yourself entirely. If you go into a situation with no expectations and no preconceived notions possibilities are endless.

5. Have Fun. Any chance to perform is enjoyable. Take any opportunity you have to have some fun with it whether it's an improv audition or one for 'Back To Bed'. Take some liberties, take some risks, show a little edge, show a little heart. There's a big chance you may never see some of these people again so feel free to, at the very least, put a smile on your own face.

Auditions can be icky. But they don't have to be.

Second Beats

Rick had a show tonight that was real fun. What makes for a good harold are second beats that are not a repeat of the first beat, with the same characters coming back a second time a couple minutes after the first scene has taken place. The second beat should be for characters referred to in the first beat or a totally different idea or concept mentioned or inspired by the content of the first beat. This is more effective because were seeing more of a variety of people and characters. We are further exploring the ideas that we have brought up. Expanding them. Creating a wider base from which we can tie it all together.

In the show tonight Pants and John had a scene as neighbors in the first beat. John was complaining that Pants's son(played by me off stage) was pooping all over his lawn. The scene was really fun and high energy. In the second beat Katie played my mom and I was onstage this time as the son. The scene wasn't about me pooping everywhere it was about my mom being unsatisfied in the marriage and having a crush on John the neighbor guy. The scene was connected but wasn't about what the first scene was about. I was eating a bunch of high fiber food while we were talking but we didn't really discuss me pooping everywhere. Two parts of one whole that broaden the spectrum of this little world. It set up a lot of opportunities in the third beat for all four of us or any combo of the four to do scenes in the third beat.

The show was also great because I got to do a couple scenes with Katie. She's leaving next week for LA where I'm sure she'll be very successful. I never had as confident a feeling about a friend moving to LA as I do her. She will be missed dearly.

Come see Katie's last show Saturday 8/25 1030 at iO. It's sure to be something special.

Graffiti 70

I don't know if graffiti artists need speed as much as they need stealth. To me it's all about subtlety of movement and the time and place in which you put up stuff or paint. I don't think a real graffiti artist really gets in the habit of doing graffiti in a place that would necessitate running away from it or at least picking locations which would each necessitate flight. I appreciate stealth, economy of movement, having your tag or your sticker or your picture up and finished before anyone on the street really knows what you're doing. Having to drop your paint can and run from the cops, for example, seems kind of rookie. But then again you always have to be ready, you never know what's coming around the corner. Either way I appreciate the sentiment.

"Graffiti is beautiful; like the brick in the face of a cop." -Hunter S. Thompson

"Everyone has to scratch on walls somewhere or they go crazy." -Michael Ondaatje

The Setting Sun

Recently every day I wake up is better than the day before. I wake up happy, healthy, and calm.
Things that use to bother me don't. I'm grateful for this feeling and work to hold onto it every day.
I eat fruit with every meal and always take my vitamins.
When I get up I stretch and smile and welcome another beautiful day.
If it's sunny I let the sun hit me, if it's raining I let the drops hit me.
I welcome it all.
I've begun to plan my days methodically. Allowing only small amounts of free time.
I work out, I eat, I see friends, I perform, I go to meetings.
I talk about how I feel often.
I examine my emotions and sometimes discard them and sometimes acknowledge their validity.
Today I made Punam a milkshake. She didn't have enough milk so I used plain yogurt to make sure it wasn't too thick. It tasted excellent and we were both happy.
I tried to go to a meeting that turned out to be a women's meeting. They were very polite and offered to let me stay but I declined and went to another meeting where I saw someone I had been trying to get a hold of for a while, so everything worked out for the best.
Before, that whole situation would have made me anxious and I probably would have gone home.
Now little things, little obstacles that I traverse bring me great joy.
You string little triumphs together they have the potential to become a big triumph.
If you can think right you can live right.
On my way home I stopped and watched the sun set through the trees.
There's almost nothing in the world that gives me more comfort.

I'm grateful for today. And all of you.

Care

Punam got her wisdom teeth taken out yesterday so I went over in the afternoon to keep her company for a while and get her anything she needed. It was nice taking care of her for a change. She's taken care of me physically and emotionally a disproportionate amount of our relationship. It's nice to give some back. We had lunch, watched 'Walk The Line' and talked. Or I talked most of the time and she tried to talk as much as she could which wasn't that much or that clear.

I remembered when I got my wisdom teeth out how miserable I was. The only thing that distracted me from it were movies and company.  So it was good to see Punam and provide whatever distraction I could.

It feels just as good doing something nice for someone than it does when someone does something nice for you.

It helps us both.

'Ruby Sparks' A Review

'Ruby Sparks' is a film about a young writer who dreams of his dream girl, writes her, and then she appears in the flesh. It's a little too reminiscent of 'Stranger Than Fiction' for me to be that intrigued by the concept but the basic premise goes back as far as 'Pygmalian' which has been done and redone so many times you can't really fault it. The film is mildly interesting but Paul Dano's characters inherent unlikability detracts from the film. The 'manic-pixie-dream-girl' archetype is played interestingly by Zoe Kazan but it feels like that type has almost been done to death recently so some of the magic of it is lost. The fact that Kazan and Dano are a real life couple adds something to their onscreen relationship but not much. The ending is predictable and almost so cute and perfect its distracting. Whatever the film was trying for you could feel it trying, trying very hard, but in the end falling short.

Rent It.

Company

I went out for coffee with Jen at this place right across the street from my house Baker and Nosh. It was real good. They make their own bread, they have exotic cheeses, tasty pastries, and some delicious looking sandwiches. I just got a coffee and a muffin and Jen got the soup which she reported was very good. Their homemade bread is super cheap, I can't wait to go back and get some.

We caught up and talked some shop. She's writing something like 5 one-woman shows currently. Jen's got quite the work ethic. Over the weekend I didn't really see any friends. I got out of the house, saw some movies, but I didn't really socialize. It's something I need to keep in mind. I'm a loner, I like my alone time, but if you spend too much time by yourself your mind can become an uncomfortable place. You can get stuck in it. So I'm trying to see a friend everyday. I want to take the free time that I currently have and see as many friends as I can. Hear how their doing, tell them how I'm doing. Connect.

Jen and I talked for a good two hours and I couldn't have been happier. On a rainy day there's nothing better than sitting down with a friend and a warm beverage.

Just Make The Move

The Schwa show tonight was real fun. There was a lot of group work, some songs, some dancing, and some transformational edits. There was one moment that stuck out for me. Jeff and Craig were on all fours and Jeannie made it an Olympic cheer leading practice session, they were practicing the pyramid. I recognized the game and walked on to complete the base, Kate and Susie walked on shortly after and climbed on our backs. Timmy walked on last to be the top. The thing was that after Timmy walked on he got cold feet about climbing to the top of the pyramid. It took him forever to actually get on top. Which he finally did after a lot of prodding.

When you set up something like this you are making a commitment to your teammates and to the audience that you will finish what you started. You say that you're going to do a human pyramid you better make a human pyramid. There is no reason to delay simply make the move and move on. If anyone would have been uncomfortable with the move we would have stopped it, it's not Timmy's job or place for that matter to judge if we are capable of holding him up. If any of us felt like we couldn't do it, we wouldn't have put ourselves in that position.

This happens a lot in shows in various ways. Someone sets up something they're going to do but then they delay it. Like a skydiving scene where the person tries to delay jumping out of the plane, a break up scene where the person delays actually breaking up, a recording studio scene where the person delays actually singing etc. You make a commitment in those cases to do what you say you are going to do. So just do it. I've found audiences love failure almost as much as they love success, sometimes more so. They love the attempt. They want to see you try. They want to see you be brave.

You can see the move, just make the move.

Pull the trigger.

Spiderweb

I wonder sometimes if creatures get mad. This spider took a long time making this intricate beautiful web. Sooner or later a custodian is going to sweep all those webs away with a broom. Does the spider get mad? Does the spider have any reaction at all? I don't think it does. I think it merely recognizes it has no web anymore and rebuilds with the same single-minded meticulousness. I'm jealous in a way, I'm also jealous of the beauty and the fragility of the web itself. It's fragile strength. The spider doesn't have beauty in mind, it simply spins on instinct, for functionality, but the result is beautiful. Nature can be such an inspiring thing.

Spiders were the worlds first architects.

Graffiti 69

I saw this when I was downtown today. It makes me want to take a risk, to live with abandon, to fly, and let the wind blow me where it may.

"A healthful hunger for a great idea is the beauty and blessedness of life." -Jean Ingelow

"A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body- the wishbone." -Robert Frost

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." -Havelock Ellis

Street Talk 7

(while running)
Boy:(on Razor scooter) What are you doing?
Me: Runnin'.
Boy: What are you doing?
Me: I'm running.
Boy: Why?
Me: To lose weight.
Boy: Why?
Me:(slaps belly) I'm chubby.
Boy:(pause) I'm faster.
Me: That's because you're on a scooter. Do you want to race?
Woman: (far off yell) Miguel!
Boy: Bye.
Me:(waves) Maybe next time buddy!

'Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry' A Review

'Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry' is a documentary about Chinese artist Ai Weiwei. He's a fascinating man who continuously speaks out for the individual and rejects the ideas and practices of the current Chinese government. As the film progress it focuses more on his politics than his artwork. His artwork is incredible but not a lot is shown in the film and it seems all the art that is shown has a politically charged message. The film starts in 2008 with his construction of the 'birds nest' for the Beijing Olympics then his protest of it for the governments evacuation of residential neighborhoods. It follows Ai Weiwei until 2011. The man himself is fascinating and it paints a real portrait of what the Chinese Government does and can do to an individual that speaks out. As I felt the film coming to a close I only had one thought...

I didn't want it to end.

Don't Miss It.

Shrine

I made a shrine to my Grandfather and some other of my Norwegian relatives. It took a long time but I finally understand what 'higher power' means in the context of the program. It can be anything, you can create your own. I talk to my grandpa every morning and every night and it helps. It helps to not feel alone, it helps to put my thoughts in order, it helps me to stay humble and grateful. I'm doing some research now into ancestor worship/veneration as well as Norse mythology to create some kind of hybrid that works for me. Not a religion but a spirituality that I feel enriched by.

Thanks Grandpa.

'Total Recall' A Review

'Total Recall' has the same plot as the original although it is set on Earth instead of Mars. It's almost non-stop action from ten minutes in until it's conclusion. All the exposition is done pretty much on the fly so it doesn't feel like exposition. There isn't much acting to speak of because there's only a couple of short scenes between long action sequences. It feels more like a two hour long chase scene. It's entertaining but I don't think there's any intention by the people that made it of making a 'good' movie.

Rent It.

Breaking Again

A couple weeks ago before Schwa Timmy, Julia and I were talking and out of no where Timmy says "Oh jeez I gotta poo-poo in my butt-butt." Julia and I and eventually Timmy totally lost it. For like 10 straight minutes. I had to use it in the show. Messing with Timmy is incredibly fun. I don't know why. You can't see how hard he breaks because he's hiding his face in my back but he is in hysterics for a couple seconds. This is a good break. The audience loves it because I say something ridiculous and 'get' Timmy. They can sense, I think, the camaraderie between Timmy and I as performers.

It's also great to throw one of Timmy's lines right back at him. I'm messing with him but also complimenting him at the same time.

Graffiti 68

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." -Confucius

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." -Thomas Jefferson

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -e.e. cummings

Gratitude

I am grateful for the sun.
I am grateful for the moon.
I am grateful for the cool, cool night breeze.

The Limits Of Control

I've learned something over the past couple days. There is only one thing that I can control: myself. I can try and control you, I can be irritated by what you do, I can be angered by what you do, I can be upset by what you do, but in the end I can't control you so all that energy is wasted. I can communicate to you how I feel, I can offer advise, but I can't change you only you can change you.

I've wasted a lot of energy and gotten very upset by attempting to control the world around me or by trying to change in accordance with what is asked for me by others.

I've become much more adept at being calm and realizing I can only be aware and express how I feel. I can communicate that to others but I no longer have a desire to control them. I know now that that's a waste of time. People are going to do what they are going to do. You can nudge, you can try and advise, but telling someone what they should be doing or what you want them to be doing never works.

It's liberating in a way, just letting go.

Control is just an illusion anyway.

I Am Humbled

I met someone today that I will never forget. Someone who was 30 minutes away from death. A 25 year old. Who, regardless of the circumstance had an amazingly positive attitude and genuine perspective. I thought back on all the bad things I've done, all the trouble I've got into, all the emotional destruction I've caused. I look at this person and I am humbled. I could have died numerous times over the course of my life given all the stupid shit I have done. I've never had a brush that close and if I had I know myself well enough to know I wouldn't be as positive and upbeat as this person.

Humans are wondrous creatures. We can bounce back from almost anything. Given time almost anything can heal. We don't sometimes because we get in our own way. Our attitude gets in the way. Whatever was left of my attitude went quiet today. I hope it stays quiet.

I am humbled.

And grateful to be alive.